POTP for Tsar and Fred

Our buddy, Tsar, could really use your good thoughts right now.

As I write this, his family is waiting for blood work to come back to find out what is troubling him, but he is not doing well.

Please visit him here.

Please also send your thoughts to Fred here. The seizure monster keeps visiting him and his family is so worried.

Dexter the Wonder Dog - The Boar Index

I want to join blogland in sending special thoughts to beautiful K today.

She is quite a special gal and an inspiration to us all.

And now, the Wonder Dog himself...

Ever wonder what the boar index is? Well wonder no more, because, I, Dexter, have once again set my superior intellect to work on determining the meaning of yet another peculiar human expression.

Here is what I have learned.

First of all, once again, the internet was no help at all as searches for boar index resulted in images of rather shocking looking creatures along with discussions of the stock market but no hits with the actual phrase put to use.

Dear readers, boar index is a formulation of the noun adjective which has become a mainstay of modern human speech (at least around my house). Ever heard the expression "that is da bomb?" Wherein "bomb" is both a noun and an adjective. Curious, isn't it?

Boar index refers to the delight of investigating the wonderful smells that enrich each and every one of my walkies. I believe it is an attempt on momma's part to convey that while her limited nasal passages cannot begin to imagine what it is like to be able to determine the passage of dogs, cats, squirrels, and other beasts, she at least appreciates the pleasure I take in said activity.

To whit, as in this photo which was accompanied by her exclamation of "This is boar index!"

When I am focused for extended periods of time, her joyful remarks become even more impassioned and often have added modifiers.

As here where she was almost shouting "THIS IS TOTALLY BOAR INDEX!"

Oops, actually this is a Lerting picture (see this post to learn more about that word).

I will confide in you that momma's moods are quite unpredictable and when I am engrossed in a particularly good smell, and most often when my back is turned thusly, she will give me a tug on my leash and announce "ENOUGH!"

How sad for the humans to live such limited lives that they would deny their best friends the opportunity to fully investigate the bounty of the earth.

Now, for those of you still unclear on the boar index, I give you this very brief video in which I have captured momma actually speaking (albeit in a somewhat flattened tone) the words "This is boar index."

Got it?

Dexter done!

Can You See Me Now?

Let's face it, the days when I can depend on the RH for some bitey face action are long gone. While he is almost lifelike at times, he is no longer game for zooming and spinning around or otherwise providing a much needed release for yours truly.

While I have suggested to momma that a companion for my labraself might be in order she demurs saying, "Oh, Dexter, Mango would never tolerate another dog. You will have to make due with your daycare pals."

That said, I am not without resources and have discovered ways to use the lumbering giant for my own entertainment.

To whit, my current favorite sport which I will call "I'm in your bed and you can't do anything about it."

This game is not without some personal sacrifice at it requires me to come in contact with the surface of his bed. A bed which is encrusted with slobber and other Mango juices best not considered. But it is worth it.

Can you see me?

How about now?

Look at his face! His head is close to exploding from the confusion.

Because here's my secret... when I growl at him he freezes in place like a scared rabbit. Hard to believe, isn't it, but the big dope is actually afraid of me, ME! And growl at him I do! Ha! This is DEXTER'S BED now!

Yup, living room bed, dog cave bed, same good times, different location.

And when it's all over, I can retire to my labracouch.

Neener, neener, neener!

Dexter done!

Dexter the Wonder Dog - Lerts

Lerts.

What are they? Should one strive to be one? It sets a mind to wondering.

While there are many nicknames that I have had to learn in regards to my labraself, none is so confounding as the moniker of "lert."

For once, the Internet has let me down. A quick google search yielded dismal results as in

LERT = Leicester Environmental Road Tolling Scheme or Laboratoire d'Etudes et de Recherches Télédétection Spatiale

Or in the Urban Dictionary; "a small furry woodland creature that senses are always very intensely attuned to its surroundings."

I don't put much credence in that one as any site which combines the term "dictionary" and grammatically incorrect sentences is hardly credible.

And so I set about discerning the true meaning of the word "lert" based on context. A task not unknown to yours truly as so many of the human utterances are context dependent as with the oft heard "Dexter, you are a bad, bad dog" which is frequently accompanied by affectionate bottom smacks or belly rubs.

But this particular word posed a problem since the application appears to be somewhat whimsical.

To whit, the Relentlessly Huge.

When he summons the energy to break his perpetual torpitude by actually lifting his head, one can hear momma exclaim "Oh, Mango is a lert today!"

LERT

And yet a similarly dreamy, half awake state does not garner analogous exclamations regarding my labraself.

NO LERT

Are you confused yet? I asked momma to clarify a photo from the archives. To whit the following, where, once again, the RH was labeled "lert" whilst I was a "wake." There's something I will ponder at a later date as one word a day is plenty.

A LERT AND A WAKE

As usual, when applied to Dexter, the word morphs into a version that smacks of a patronizing reference to my sturdy, yet diminutive stature. Yes, friends, while the RH is apparently a full blown lert on many an occasion, I have been relegated to "lerting"

The term is applied at the moment when I am attempting to focus on a potential threat to life and limb and I do not appreciate the distraction to my guard dog duties.

And, it is frequently not stated as a declarative, but, rather, as a query as if Momma herself is unclear of the true definition.

"Dexter. Why are you a lerting?"

LERTING

Why indeed?

Here, I am waiting for Master to shake a leg and exit the garage with his bag of goodies from Trader Joe's. Is that what lerts do? Wait for noms?

LERTING

One can suss out that lerts are a cautious lot as in the sentence (spoken with alarm and dismay) "If I were a lert I wouldn't have stepped in that poo!"

No photo on that one, my friends. Let's just say that in some circumstances the state of being a lert appears preferably to being my heavy footed momma who can count on her shoes to locate poo in the yard with alarming accuracy.

Confounded beyond belief, I offered this photo as one last attempt at clarity from the dotty old hen.

"Are there any lerts depicted here?" I asked.

NO LERTS

Her reply? "Awwww, look at my two handsome boys." Hardly flattering to have one's exceptional labralooks bucketed with that 204 pound door stop and certainly not at all enlightening.

Dexter done!

I Don't Ask for Much

I'm a humble guy.

I don't ask for much.

But maybe I could get just one day.

One day, that's all I'm asking.

Where I don't get icky slobbers all over my beautiful labrafurs.

Dexter done!

A Very Special New Blog

There is a new and very special blog called "Our Rainbow Bridge."

It is a place where we can all share memories of our friends who are no longer with us.

Please visit them by clicking here and then click on "Be Part of Our Rainbow Friends" if you would like to contribute a remembrance.

You can also click on "Our Rainbow Friends Memory Badge" to download an icon for your sidebar.

There is also an email contact button if you have any questions.

Tennis Ball Liberation!

Before I start, I feel compelled to draw your attention to a somewhat hysterical attempt on the part of the Beastie to besmirch not just my good name, but my entire breed. You can read it here.

While it is tempting to enter into the fray with the hysterical little so and so, my momma always counsels me, "Dexter, when you fight with a pig you both get dirty, but the pig likes it."

So, dear readers, I leave it to you to form you own opinions after reading said post.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

The last week has been torture for yours truly as I have been denied tennis ball action and momma's walking skills are just not up to snuff for providing the exercise required by an active chap such as myself.

It's that pesky dew claw. Contrary to what some might believe, us doggies actually use our dew claws quite a bit. Not just to help us hold nommy bones, but also to grip and provide stability during funballs activities like agility or tennis ball.

In fact according to Mango's PT doctor, agility dogs who have their dew claws removed suffer more ankle injuries than dogs who remain whole.

So, it was not without good cause that momma feared I would re-open my broken claw were I to run and jump and dart about after the treasured yellow orb.

But enough is enough and even I, sedate and level headed labradog, can succumb to cabin fever and mental fits when deprived of activity for too long.

Thus, yesterday, I convinced the lazy witch to have a go and let's just see if I was tennis ball ready. Now, action is best captured in moving picture format, so I give you my tennis ball liberation movie here or below (try to ignore the typo in the first title page of the movie - good help is hard to find).

Well, you can imagine why I am smiling (note full set of teeth on display, Beastie).

Dexter done!

P.S. From Mango Momma - if you watched the movie you saw Mango bouncing about after the tennis ball. You can see that he is still not using his back end properly, but there is a huge improvement in his activity and comfort level since starting the underwater treadmill. He is up to 12 minutes now and goes once per week. Curiously, he is getting less and less interested in walks off the property and for the past couple of weeks has been very sluggish and balky but perks right up when we get home. So for now I am focusing on yard walks and at home PT exercises (along with tennis ball now and then). He still falls down about once a week, but recovers more quickly so I think he is stronger and more limber. His weight is down to 204 which is the lightest he has been since a teenager.