Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Tired and Cranky

I am very tired and cranky. I am tired because I spent the past two nights staying up way past my bedtime to watch the Westminster dog show (which you will hear more about later).

Next, apparently some new rule went into effect that I was unaware of which is "If the schools are closed due to weather Mango doesn't get walkies" Huh? Last night it snowed and then this morning it rained and the schools were closed and I got no walkies!

Now, last time there was no school, Momma stayed home from work, so that's cool, I figured same today, right? Guess not. She was getting all dressed and putting shoes on and I figured, its Mango time, and I kinda put my front end into the bedroom and then all of a sudden I was a "bad dog" because the bedroom is a slobber free zone! I blew a raspberry! PHHHH! Take that! I'll show you slobber free zone (check out the suds I left on the floor).Another room that is a Mango free zone is the bathroom and I accidentally put my front end into the bathroom and I was a "bad dog" again! Oh man!Then Momma went to work and I was left home alone with Master and it was raining too hard to go out and I was all grouchy. That left me plenty of time to think and I started thinking about that stupid Westminster dog show. I found this book and started reading it a bit.Then I went online to look at the history of the Westminster kennel club and it is totally rigged! They claim that the breeds are judged against their breed standard, not against each other, but I'm telling you the statistics just don't support that!

Before I rant too much, the high point of the show for me was that the Black Russian Terrier won his breed without getting his tail docked. Way to go man!

But, what's up with Terriers taking best of show 33% of the time (here come those statistics). The herding group has only ever won once! This is no way fair. Now, I want to say, all those doggies at Westminster are totally wicked cool, but those judges, Jeez! With apologies to my Fox Terrier friends, Fox Terriers winning 15% of the time? No way! And no Mastiff has won ever (and no Bloodhound either, sorry Wimsey).

That Beagle that won was cute and everything, but he had that puffy tail thing going on. I can usually pick out at least one of the top three, but the Sporting Group was so great this year that I had no idea who would win and not even a nod in Best of Show. Its a conspiracy of terriers I tell you!

I will pause to say that my most beautiful half sister, Rosie, got an award of merit. She was a teenager when I was a little baby living with my doggie momma and I always had a wicked crush on her. Rosie, darlin', I still have my gajingles.

I asked Mom to pick me up a new collar today so when she came home I was excited to see what sort of stylin' collar I got, but here is what she bought me. Ugh!

Apparently it was the only collar in my size available. I hate that. It makes me feel like some sort of freak. Just because I'm plus sized doesn't mean I don't want to look good.

All of these events conspired to make me very glum. So Master took pity on me and let me lick his beef stew leftovers.

Then I heard the dog drawer opening...A Mango sized cow trachea! OK, I might be starting to feel a little better...Yummers! Ultimate suds machine!!!Then a real surprise! A bed upgrade! Hey, I can really stretch out my entire most handsomest self on this bed. Maybe I'm a happy Mango Man after all.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

20 comments:

Randi said...

Hi Mango! I can totally see you it would be a bummer day for you...your mama should have stayed home with you...& you are right about the rigged results...I think you should enter next year..you could win the sud-zing contest...I'm sure thats a valid category..& congrats to your sister...it was you sister right? There are brighter days ahead, Mango Man..Dexter will be there soon!

I think purple is a nice color for you...but when you are plus sized, accessory shopping is hard.

Love & Licks,
Randi

Ferndoggle said...

I think you look nice in purple. It compliments your brindle furs.

I LOVE Moo Tubes! I may not be Mango sized, but I can eat Mango sized Moo Tubes like nobody's business!!

Sherman

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
I am so happy that you day ended better than the start!
We could not watch the show, just knew about the Beagle winning!
Purple is a nice color!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Sophie Brador said...

Mango, You have sexy legs.

xo
SB

p.s. I complete concur with your WEstminster rant, although I do think Uno is super duper cute.

MJ's doghouse said...

oh mangoman....i like your new collar...you look handsome to me...but you would look handsome to me in anything...you big stud...ummm...that is a nice bed...and i think there may be cuddle room....what do you think

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Yeah on the treat and the comfy bed. Happy Valentine's Day Mango
~ Girl girl

Harry said...

Wire Fox terriers do seem to do lots of winning in shows here too, but I love them anyway. And as I'm a terrier you're probablu not even speaking to me today!

I am in awe of the suds you can produce!!!

Toodle pip
Harry x

Cassidy said...

Hi hi Mango. Yes, it be true, tail docking no be legal in UK anymore. That be ehy me has nice long curly tail, whee!

Nibbles
Cassidy x

Amber-Mae said...

Geezus, what's that all white creamy stuff around your mouth? Errrrr, yuck? That's a nice collar! Looks something like mine but mine's lighter in color. I think a Golden deserve to have won the show!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Maggie & Mitch said...

We think you look great in purple, Mango!
Happy Valentine's day!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Joe Stains said...

funny how your day can start out so bed and end up so great. You sure can slobber buddy. We didn't watch westminster, and now that we read your analysis, we are glad we did not.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mack said...

The day turned out okay after all!

Agatha and Archie said...

PL1+2 have always said that it was rigged and it is all political.(but it is cool you have to admit THAT WE RULE THE WORLD) ok got a little carried away there. The purple looks cool on you!!! And we are in agreement about the weather. Man is this bad or what??!! Yest it was snowing raining sunny thunder sunny.....best you stayed home and ate!! Love A+A

Frasier said...

Hi Mango
Thats impressive sud-zing!!!
Maybe we need to protest about the collars!!!
Frasier

Bogart said...

I'm liking the purple on you... looks GOOD :)

Love,
Bogart

The Zoo Crew said...

Plus sized accessory shopping is hard. Fiona had a purple collar just like you! We figured it was better than black...how boring. Is that a crib mattress....errr, dog bed you have there? You lucky doggie! My mama bought me a ginormous kuranda bed and it is now my very favorite spot to sleep (besides the floor, that is).

Peace + Paws,

Kai

Noah the Airedale said...

G'day Mango
Your day just got better and better. A new collar, albeit a purple one and a new bed, excellent!!!
Matie, I hope you don't mind I added you to my list of friends.
Love the slobber btw.

Hugs and tail wags
Noah Willow Tess & Lucy

Abby and Jack said...

Hey Mango,
We think that you and Jack should have a sudzing contest! It would be a close competition! Abby thinks you look great in purple but was wondering what size collar you wear? Maybe we could help you find something less...um...purple.

Abby and Jack

Abby and Jack said...

Hey Mango! We found some 31" collars both in solids and cool patterns on the JB pet wholesale website! These were the Lupine 1" collars. Check it out! Maybe you'll find something less purlpe. We shop there all the time.

Jack and Abby

Abby and Jack said...

Can't wait to see your new stylin collar Mango Man!

Jack and Abby