Next, apparently some new rule went into effect that I was unaware of which is "If the schools are closed due to weather Mango doesn't get walkies" Huh? Last night it snowed and then this morning it rained and the schools were closed and I got no walkies!
Now, last time there was no school, Momma stayed home from work, so that's cool, I figured same today, right? Guess not. She was getting all dressed and putting shoes on and I figured, its Mango time, and I kinda put my front end into the bedroom and then all of a sudden I was a "bad dog" because the bedroom is a slobber free zone! I blew a raspberry! PHHHH! Take that! I'll show you slobber free zone (check out the suds I left on the floor).Another room that is a Mango free zone is the bathroom and I accidentally put my front end into the bathroom and I was a "bad dog" again! Oh man!Then Momma went to work and I was left home alone with Master and it was raining too hard to go out and I was all grouchy. That left me plenty of time to think and I started thinking about that stupid Westminster dog show. I found this book and started reading it a bit.Then I went online to look at the history of the Westminster kennel club and it is totally rigged! They claim that the breeds are judged against their breed standard, not against each other, but I'm telling you the statistics just don't support that!
Before I rant too much, the high point of the show for me was that the Black Russian Terrier won his breed without getting his tail docked. Way to go man!
But, what's up with Terriers taking best of show 33% of the time (here come those statistics). The herding group has only ever won once! This is no way fair. Now, I want to say, all those doggies at Westminster are totally wicked cool, but those judges, Jeez! With apologies to my Fox Terrier friends, Fox Terriers winning 15% of the time? No way! And no Mastiff has won ever (and no Bloodhound either, sorry Wimsey).
That Beagle that won was cute and everything, but he had that puffy tail thing going on. I can usually pick out at least one of the top three, but the Sporting Group was so great this year that I had no idea who would win and not even a nod in Best of Show. Its a conspiracy of terriers I tell you!
I will pause to say that my most beautiful half sister, Rosie, got an award of merit. She was a teenager when I was a little baby living with my doggie momma and I always had a wicked crush on her. Rosie, darlin', I still have my gajingles.
I asked Mom to pick me up a new collar today so when she came home I was excited to see what sort of stylin' collar I got, but here is what she bought me. Ugh!
Apparently it was the only collar in my size available. I hate that. It makes me feel like some sort of freak. Just because I'm plus sized doesn't mean I don't want to look good.
All of these events conspired to make me very glum. So Master took pity on me and let me lick his beef stew leftovers.Then I heard the dog drawer opening...A Mango sized cow trachea! OK, I might be starting to feel a little better...Yummers! Ultimate suds machine!!!Then a real surprise! A bed upgrade! Hey, I can really stretch out my entire most handsomest self on this bed. Maybe I'm a happy Mango Man after all.Mango Man! Oh yeah!