Now, on to more serious stuff. Apparently I don't get enough exercise. Huh? Yuh, I'm not into all that silly chase the ball stuff and I like to take time to smell the lamp posts on walkies, so sue me. Besides, according to the AKC, mastiffs should be large and rectangular and I quote:
"Substance--Massive, heavy boned, with a powerful muscle structure. Great depth and breadth desirable. Fault--Lack of substance or slab sided."
You don't want me to become slab sided, do ya? But Mom found this disturbing web site with a photo of what appears to be an actual mastiff on... gasp... a treadmill! Its gotta be PhotoShop, right? What self-respecting mastiff would do something so silly and undignified? Not the Mango Man, no way, no how, case closed!
Besides, the blasted thing weighs 260 pounds (even more than Mango) and would take up my entire living room addition and costs as much as my dog store allowance for an entire year.
And by the way, maybe if I could get an actual puppy (like I used to be... damn I'm good lookin).Instead of one of those fake labradoggie mutant guinea pig hump meisters! Eyeeeei!Then I might be moved to spend less time meditating.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!