Friday, February 8, 2008

Treadmill...not!

I've had a some queries regarding my previous post. "Mango Man, what does Boxer taste like?" Well, the "incident" was a couple of years ago, but near as I can recall, Boxer tastes kinda like... chicken.

Now, on to more serious stuff. Apparently I don't get enough exercise. Huh? Yuh, I'm not into all that silly chase the ball stuff and I like to take time to smell the lamp posts on walkies, so sue me. Besides, according to the AKC, mastiffs should be large and rectangular and I quote:

"Substance--Massive, heavy boned, with a powerful muscle structure. Great depth and breadth desirable. Fault--Lack of substance or slab sided."

You don't want me to become slab sided, do ya? But Mom found this disturbing web site with a photo of what appears to be an actual mastiff on... gasp... a treadmill! Its gotta be PhotoShop, right? What self-respecting mastiff would do something so silly and undignified? Not the Mango Man, no way, no how, case closed!



Besides, the blasted thing weighs 260 pounds (even more than Mango) and would take up my entire living room addition and costs as much as my dog store allowance for an entire year.


And by the way, maybe if I could get an actual puppy (like I used to be... damn I'm good lookin).

Instead of one of those fake labradoggie mutant guinea pig hump meisters! Eyeeeei!Then I might be moved to spend less time meditating.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

9 comments:

Sophie Brador said...

Mango man, you were the cutest puppy. Just look at you! But you know, that labradoggie guineapup is pretty cute too. Are you getting one or what?

Oh, and I find that best way to use the treadmill is to being mom all the tennis balls and stuffies in the house while SHE is on it.

xo
SB

Patience-please said...

Um, sir, you equal more than all nine of us combined. Nice to meet you and we don't taste anything like chicken. In fact we are virtually meatless, just bones and fastness and love. We recommend the Squirrel though, followed by dessert of cat pooh. Deelicious!

Thanks for visiting us!

wags from the whippets (we are a waggle, not a gang)

Harry said...

pvkmyvMa is laughing. She says Oscar our angel brother used to go to agility and Tioa the Mastiff there used to go over, through or across every piece of equipment at about 1 miles per hour and it was hilarious. She was pretty accurate though apparently!

Toodle pip
Harry x

Ferndoggle said...

I try to avoid all exercise that does not involve peeing on stuff in the neighborhood. I would never tolerate a treadmill.

Sherman

Sparky said...

My mama wants to get a treadmill for me too - something about harnessing my energy to light the house. Whatever. I won't do it. Unless it involves cookies...then I might think about it.

What a beautiful big puppy you were!!!

The Zoo Crew said...

That's about as ridiculous as putting my large self on one of those contraptions! You're right...no way, no how.

Peace + Paws,

Kai
(PS...head over to my blog for the latest Fiona news)

The Brat Pack said...

No way would I tolerate that treadmill. What is wrong with humans?!?

Bear

Peanut said...

what chicken? I would taste like chicken? That isn't right. You were a very cute puppy and that treadmill is evil

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
My walkies are like yours! I never run. I take all the time to smell everything.
You were a cute puppy and now your are a handsome boy!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza