I was denied walkies today because Momma is still mad at me for the "incident" yesterday. Here's what went down. Because I have been super good on my walkies as of late, and it being like 6:00 in the morning, I convinced momma to take off my gentle leader. OK, shortly thereafter, some jogging lady was coming towards us. Now I am not fond of peoples getting close to momma when I am walking her and usually we "pull over" into a driveway and I have to sit down until the jogging person goes by. Well, I took one look at that tubby lady all a-joggin and I said to myself, "Mango, she is HUGE and she will never get in shape at such a slow pace!" So I kind of barked at her and boy did she pick up the pace in an instant. Unfortunately, in the process, I sort of pulled momma too hard and she fell over which made her really mad, so now I am (temporarily) a bad dog cause her knees are all banged up. Sorry...
Next up, my mastiff mobile kind of exploded in the driveway and spilled out all this stuff.I was told that the mastiff mobile was OUT OF CONTROL dirty and needed the spring cleaning. In order to facilitate same, momma had to go into the loft of the barn to retrieve the little vacuum which involves going up most scary stairs. I was so worried about her climbing those stairs that I stayed at the bottom and did the vocalizing to express my concern.Other pee-wee midgets are all full of themselves from the puppy agility and go right up the stairs to explore the loft.Master hides lots of his construction stuff up there.Pee-wee on the way down...Many artifacts were uncovered in the cleaning of the mastiff mobile... including the Grandpa Angus memorial bobble head.I was forbidden from providing assistance and subsequently spent the entire time with my face pressed against the garage door howling and moaning. Apparently it was very hard work to remove all my most huge and impressive slime from the interior of the mastiff mobile.My favorite bed was deemed "too gross" to return to the interior and so now it is destined for the land fill.All cleaned up and ready for the Running of the Errands. I was told I couldn't go because one stop was the car wash which is way too scary for the Mango Man. Just as well anyway since momma opened the windows and cranked up her Tom Jones CD.How embarrassing is that? And she was taking pictures whilst driving to show off the newly mounted Grandpa Angus bobble head.It appears we are having second thoughts about the furminator. As opposed to my trusty zoom groom.Because even though the furminator collects lots of Mango fur, when we use it, I look the same as before...But when we use my zoom groom, the hair is really flying.See all those dead hairs on me? Finally, the quality of the hair is different. The furminator pulls out short, soft hair.But the zoom groom pulls out long, dead hair that is the same as the stuff that I leave around the house.So I am wondering if maybe that furminator is pulling out hair that I need instead of my dead hair that I don't need.
Finally, my pal Noah tagged me. Here are the rules. You need to name the doggie that tagged you, then answer the questions, and then tag 3 - 4 other doggies. Then remember to leave your tagged doggies a note so they know to play along. Here goes.
1) What was I doing 10 years ago? Uh, hello, I'm only three years old, OK?
2) What are the five things on my to do list today? Meditate, bite pee-wee in the head, meditate, sun bake, did I mention meditate?
3) Snacks I enjoy. Peanut butter, bully sticks, rabbit poop.
4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire. Make momma and master get me a proper puppy (preferably a blonde) instead of stupid pee-wee midget hump meister, make momma retire and spend all her time with me, and campaign to make stairs illegal.
5) Three of my bad habits. Barking at joggers (momma made me say that), meditating in doorways, head butting momma on walkies.
6) Five places I have lived. Uh oh, I have only lived with my doggie momma and then the Mango estate. Is that five?
7) Five jobs I have had. Cuddle muffin, Pee-wee babysitter, suds machine, ridiculously large and expensive consumer of foodies, BEST DOGGIE EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
This was just lying around in the camera, so I'm adding it. Me and pee-wee in the pool.Mango Man! Oh yeah!