Monday, June 23, 2008

Several Disturbing Things

Disturbing thing #1

Why is it that when Momma doesn't feel like using the pooter, I don't get to visit any of my friends either? So wrong! Sorry to all my pals... I will get to your bloggies soon.

Disturbing thing #2

Why are wheelies so totally reckless? Stuff Stan got himself into all sorts of trouble by thinking that he could take on an alligator. Now I have to pack up my bags and make an emergency trip to help with the nursing duties. I'm on my way!

Disturbing thing #3

So this morning I was all set to go on walkies and momma had been most accommodating to bring hot dogs in case I was a good dog and we were halfway down the driveway when we hear CRASH and pathetic pee-wee crying sounds. Oh no! Momma looked back and stupid midget had knocked the screen out of the window and was halfway out the window trying to infringe on MY WALKIES! We had to go back, go in, close the window, and restart. Then of course I accidentally barked at a doggie and was a BAD DOG who doesn't get hot dogs and whats up with that?

Disturbing thing #4

Grandma and Grandpa recently returned from a trip to the redwood forest of CA to visit my aunt and uncle. Whilst out shopping, they saw this!

What the... &*% What's up with this Mango mulch? Look at this! Do you think Momma is siphoning off my deposits for some sort of illicit use? You know those guys in northern CA are into all kinds of organically grown substances. Look, here is Grandma plugging the Mango mulch to the senior circuit.I can't tell from the packaging what it is or what they think it does, but I do know that I should be getting royalties.Any of you doggies out there who see this on the shelf, you MUST tell me what they claim as ingredients because I don't think there is any real Mango Man in there and I have my lawyer on speed dial.Disturbing thing #5

My most favorite person in the world, my human brother, Jake, has cats. That's not the disturbing thing because I've never actually met a cat, but if Jake likes them they are OK with me. Anyhoo, Jake is dad to the lovely Molly who is the best cat in the world.

But my sister-in-law Shannon said that Molly was getting serious fur balls and collecting poopies on her bottom and something needed to be done. Oh the horror! Even her sister Cleo was frightened and barely recognized the peculiar white beastie she had become.I am calling the animal cops right now!Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Mack said...

I think you are having a Monday!
Would you like to borrow Paris' nursing cap when you go visit StuffyStan??

Oh and you are so right about her -she is the dingiest dog I know!

Peanut said...

all those things happening close together. Something is messing with you. Mom says she needs to do that to shelby since he gets fur balls but not the poopy problem.

Biggie-Z said...

Wow, that is all very disturbing! I am all behind visiting my friends, too, thanks to a trip to Washington DC and my first hotel stay. (Tales to come on the blog if my mom ever finds the time).

P.S. I think you would totally get along with a cat. They're almost as much fun as bunny Pez dispensers.

Biggie, the Relentlessly Curly

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...


All those things are SKHARY!!

I mean KHATS are nasty enough in their furry suits SOOOO when woo take it off - YIKES!!!

Should I have my mom keep my sheddings?

PeeEssWoo: Mango Mulch would be magnificent!

Petey said...

I'm just relieved to know that Mango Mulch is made from, well, you know — MANGO! Phew! I had some nightmares until Mommy explained that "Pete Moss" has nothing to do with me!

Your pal,


Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
All those are very disturbing things!
Specially the cat!
Kisses and hugs

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh dear.. that's alot of weird things going on. I think you need to lie down and take a long nap

~ Girl girl

Charlie Daniels said...

Yep that's all disturbing alright .. I'll check over here in Australia and see if the mulch is avialable here!

Amber-Mae said...

Oh my, sooo many disturbing things have been going on...I don't know what to say!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Maggie & Mitch said...

You sure have lots of disturbing things going on at your house, Mango! Mom will keep her eyes open for Mango Mulch and let you know as soon as we find a bag or two!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Wuffstuff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noah the Airedale said...

Oh lord...I'll have to ensure I never get fur balls or get poopies stuck to my butt. I don't think that would be a good look on me. I hope Molly is feeling ok about herself. Has she looked in a mirror yet????? Crikey!!!!!

Hugs and tail wags
Noah xx

Gaia the Airedale said...

Holy cow Mango...thats a lot of disturbing you need a hug?

puppy breath,

Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

Hmmm... Maybe you should write a song - 'These are a few of the disturbing things'

Sophie Brador said...

Mango, That was all so seriously disturbing that I may have to go meditate for a while.


Saint Lover said...

Oh dear.... those are some disturbing things Mango. That kitty.. it looks like a lion now.

B and R will have to figure out what that Mango Mulch is. But I bet that's how your momma is able to afford to feed you big guy.. lol

Randi said...

Mango! You live in a very peculiar world right now..if you need some calm & zen like meditations, come on over to my house & I'll let you meditate w/o all that craziness at your house...

Especially little Dexter Dude..he's quite the little Stinker!

Oh..that poor kitty...sometime I get a little bit of poo poo on my bum bum, but at least my ma cleans me up..not shaves me like I'm heading off to the military!

Love & Licks,

ps..please dont' tell anyone else about my little poo poo issue..ok..doesn't happen often...& its not a lot or anything like that...

Willow the Black Dale said...

Mango Man!!! So glad to see you back!! Me and my boy have been waiting for you!
You sure are disturbed about a lot of things right now. Your poor kitty niece. Her hair will grow back. What is up with the no hot dog thing. Dawg gone it....did you give your mom those "eyes" you can give??? :))
No about that Mango Mulch. Scary...I went to there website and it was scary. I think your mom should just bag up your and see it for $50 for 2 pounds. Heck you can give her that just during the morning load. Hmmmmm you could get your OWN Mango company going.
Happy to see your on the way to help Stuffie Stan.

Moco said...

You had better take a nap after all those disturbing things to think about. Your brain could explode.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Thank heavens you came to help out Stuffie Stan...I still can't believe he woke up from ann is thesia callin' for ya Mango....and there you were...ur relentlessly hooge self!!!

Mumsie posted pics of Babystan's grievous error last night...I know you witnessed the whole dastardly act, but I thought Sweet Hector might wanna see.....

Barkin' at ya!!!!


Toffee said...

Maybe you can take some of your (much deserved) royalty $$ from your mulch and buy your kitty friend a toupee??

Had I known I could have sent her the results of my "furminator" grooming last weekend - there would have been plenty!

Wuffstuff said...

In view of your comments on the Sophie Brador site I have deleted the comment I made here.

Best of luck for your blog.

Snowball said...

LOL. Thats the weirdest bald cat I have ever seen.

Can you pass me the contact number of the animal cops? I think It will come in handy to me sometimes.



Agatha and Archie said...

Well ARchie is so disturbed by all these things he ran to take a tranquilizer.....I have to sit down a little Love A+A

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

Poor Mango! So many disturbing things all at one time! Our pawrents used to have a cat named Wayne who refused to groom himself. About once a year, they took him to the groomer for a lion cut. He sure did look silly, but he was very cool too.

Poppy, Penny & Patches

Asta said...

so many distuwbing things you found...I agwee that's tewwible...thank you so much fow helping wif stuffy Stan..these wheeleys weally do get into an awful lot of twouble..thand dog fow you!!!!
Molly sooks like a vewy nice cat but sheesh..what wewe they thinking??She must be embawwased wif so much nakedness
smoochie kisses

Nessa said...

Holy crap! I can't believe they did that to her! Oh my god will she recover????????

love Pooka

(that's not a closing, it's a command. love me.)


Sami & Baylee said...

Mango you totally should get royalties from the Mango Mulch! I mean that is only fair, right?

wally said...

Between the Mango Mulch and that movie Wall*E I think we need to be collective some royalties.