Sunday, December 14, 2008

My Morning, by Dexter

Before I get on to more interesting topics (like me), Relentlessly Huge insisted I post this link because he was apparently pet of the month for all of November and nobody noticed. Oh well.

I am officially renaming Momma Dotty Old Hen, or DOH for many reasons. The first is that every night around 7:30 PM she says, "I am so tired. I am going to bed early tonight." Then, she proceeds to stay up until around 10:30 or so, usually reading some book which is just "too good to stop." Read, read, read. Last night it was this.

Which she says is probably not for everybody, but she loved it because she thinks Denis Leary is smart, funny, agrees with her on most things, and not bad to look at. Whatever. I say all this because regardless of what time she goes to bed, I, Dexter like to get up around 5:30 AM.

After all, a chap like me can only meditate for so long before he gets, well, HUNGRY!

So each morning I drag myself off the couch (which I am only allowed to use at night) and go into the bedroom and chew on DOH's nose until she wakes up. This is a delicate operation because if you wake up the Master, he will throw a shoe at you, but DOH just says, "Oh, Dexter, is it morning already?"

After she gets up, we usually go into the dog cave to awaken the slumbering beast who would probably sleep till the SUN CAME UP or something else crazy like that.

While the coffee is brewing, breakfast is prepared and, man, am I HUNGRY! Because by 5:30 AM it has been over 12 hours since my last meal.Weather permitting, the Relentlessly Huge dines outdoors.Then I have to sit and stare at my bowl. This is called "training" and I don't like it one bit.At last!I always go out and double check the Relentlessly Huge's bowl just to make sure he didn't miss anything. He usually doesn't and today was no exception.After breakfast, we are supposed to meditate to digest our food. This is no problem for the torpid beastie as the very act of eating seems to put him into a stupor. I suspect all the blood has drained from his tiny brain into his gigantic belly.I, on the other hand, am ready to go.Walkies? Please? today? Now?At last! WALKIES!!!!Let's go, hurry up, I have a lot to do!Like check out these bushes...Track!And pee! All with great labradude-atude.

Today we went up to the schoolyard where I take every opportunity available to work on my agility so I will be ready when I start school on Saturday. I like walking on these bleachers. Its supposed to be challenging because they feel funny and make a weird sound, but as you can see, not a problem for me.

This was supposed to be a photo, but (DOH alert), the camera was set on movie and kept showing low battery so just this quick clip of a nice golden guy I met.

I look particularly handsome and athletic in this action shot of me navigating a low jump, don't you think?

Back at the estate, time to pick up the poop. This is our giant poop bucket because, well, there is nothing about Mango that is not Relentlessly Huge. A nice, new chewie rounded out my morning.Nom, nom, nom.Dexter done!

P.S. I SHOULD be modeling the Randi collar by now, but DOH has still not transfered my tags. I'm not sure I even want her to, because she bought us new ones that say I AM LOST. I beg your pardon. I have never been lost, just out on an adventure now and then.


Aniemother said...

Hahaha... Mom say she's glad we usually sleep a little longer than that. Actually, if mom was working early she would sometimes (often) carry me out to pee before leaving for work. I do not appreciate getting up before 6!


Khyra The Siberian Husky said...


Mango - MR NOVEMBER ;-)

I hear that same khrap from my mom each night - so tired - going to bed early tonight - HA!

I'm furry nice to her - I let her sleep in on the weekends even though the musihk goes on at 5am each Monday thru Friday!

It looks like woo had one inkhredibly special and nice today!


Technodoll said...

Dexter you have talents! Except we don't understand your early morning thingie. You couldn't wake us up with a bomb at that time of day.

(mommy is grateful for that).

Do you have a special food bowl to slow you down from eating too fast?


The Akitas

Chef said...

Dexter, if I woke my Mama up at that hour, she'd wrestle me to the ground! My day starts when hers starts. It's a good thing I like to sleep!

A bitey on the kisser for Mango - Mr. November! Cool!


Randi said...

Hey Dexter...Glad Sunday is still Dexter Day at your Estate & not something that DOH would forget...are you sure Dotty Old Hen fits? I like the sound of Dumb 'ole Human myself....

Thank you so much for that dogumentary on your mornings...I feel like I'm getting to know you so much better! Especially with that pic of you leaving pee manly of you...

Tell RH congrats on being Mr. November...

& I'm still nom-ing on my cheezy bone!

love & licks,
Your Cougar,

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

We are just catching up with your blog Dexter. You and Mango have been busy.

Our person does that i need an early night thing and then doesn't actually go to bed until very late. Must be a human thing! BOL

Holly & Zac

Peanut said...

Dexter are our mothers related? My mother does that thing with books also and she has that book on her amazon wishlist (which is 6 pages long. I usually let my mom sleep until 7 or so though. Oh and can you tell my mom where you got mango's bowl with stand? She is thinking Peanut needs one since he is having to bend way down to eat.

Dannan and The Girl said...

Hey Dexter, sounds like you've got DOH pretty well trained! It is important for us doggies to keep to our schedule, and the people know that!

I always check the Min Pins' dishes to see if they left anything, too. It's never happened yet, but a dog can't be too careful!

Brown dog kisses,

Pee Ess to Mango Hey Mr. November! Love the hat! BOL!

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Hey Mango...were you dressed in that Mr. November pinup calender? Was just decidin' if I should bye it...let me know.

Talk bout dumb hoomans...did you know Momma and Mumsie have been peemailing??? Yeppers...and today she told me why ur peemail is called backup dog...ya see SHE thought it was cuz ur so relentlessly hooge that you couldn't turn you'd been trained to BACKUP on command...AS IF!!!!!!!!!

I've been harassin' MJ? When? Don't 'member she wants to go out with Doofus??????? WOOT! Nuthin' like me complicatin' ur lover life, RH!!

Gotta run...time to take the roast beast outta the favorite job to go bananas over!!!!!

Love and extra droolie lakie kissies........

Have you noticed that the word verification things are gettin' weird? Mine is brativi...OK>>>that's not the first time random letters have somehow seemed appropriate....

Lorenza said...

Hi, Dexter!
First of all... Congratulations to Mango!
You had a very busy morning!
There is no way I could wake up at 5:30 am! My mom has to drag me out of the bed every morning!
Have a good night
Kisses and hugs

Sami & Baylee said...

Dexter you sure are an early riser but I am with Mango and love to sleep in!

xoxoxo Sami

Sophie Brador said...

Hey Dex, I love your action shot. You have that lithe body of the young lab. Yes, you hang on to that as long as you can. I used to be just like that until I got old. But I'm still pretty, and you will always be hunky hunky.


The FOUR Musketeers said...

Smart Dexter ! Looks like you have a nice walk !

Dewey Dewster said...

Aw, ta be back in civilization is nothin' short of amazin'.....well, Dexter, tell MAngo congrats fer his big win....but I have ta tell ya...ya get up at 5:30 am ???? .....ya wouldn't last 2 days at this place.....Gram 'n Pap are done with gettin' up while it's still dark...they both remember those early mornings vividly and don't want ta revisit 'em anytime soon. But that's a grand birdseye view of yer day.....the time spent in the dark anyway......sleep in a few times....ya might find out ya like it.....Oh, 'n readin' is good fer the mind and soul too...

Dewey Dwster here...

Joe Stains said...

omdog your Master throws shoes?? just like that guy that threw his shoes at the president doofus?? PAWESOME!

I cannot even believe you get up that early, Mom doesnt even go to bed til like 1am, she is wacky. I could sleep til like 10am, easily!

Maggie and Mitch said...

I check Maggie's dish to make sure she didn't miss any morsel's either, Dexter! And I can't wait to go out for walkies just like you! We're a lot alike!

Yer friend,

Saint Lover said...

Rock on Mango! Congrats on being dog of the month!

Dozer and Coop said...

BOL! Our Mum's must be related! Our Mum gets into bed at 8pm and the light doesn't go out until 10pm or 10:30pm because she is reading - she is going to walk to the library and see if she can get the Dennis Leary book.


Mack said...

A big congratulations is in order for RH being Mr. November. His tam o'shantern is quite handsome.

We HATE getting up before 7 AM!

Mindy Lu said...

PAW!! Way to go Mango Dude! Mom also does the same thing, bed early, then read the night away. And the Princess could sleep the morning away, but I am up and ready to go the minute dad does his stretch after drinking the black stuff. PAW- Max the Dude!

Asta said...

That was weally funny, hehehe
Mommi winds up staying up till 2 ow 3, so it's agood thing I don't get up till 8 ow 9, she'd be in weal twouble if she had you, hehehe
I liked seeing all you had to do..and Mango should be up fwom his nap now, so go out and play
smoochie kisses

Lady Kaos said...

Whata great morning routine! Well, except for the 5:30 am part. That's a little early for me.

Eric said...

Poor DOH that's way too early to get up.Try following DOH's lead - read - in bed. I recommend Tintin.

Wags, Eric x

Tell Mangosorry bout Lacies fixation with him - us terrier boys owe him big time!!

wally said...

Whew! What a morning. We get up even earlier than you in part because of our resident puppy O-Man but also because I like to get up, walk, and eat so I can have my first nap in before 6. Ah, the life.

My ma ape says she would prefer life at Mango's speed.

wally t.

Ike said...

5:30am? That is just sick and wrong!

Huskee and Hershey said...

Our mom is glad cos we don't wake her up that early... When we first had Hershey, she used to wake up at 5.30am to 6am and it drove mom nuts!! It's getting better now cos she only wakes up at around 7am..

Bae Bae said...

Oh Congrates to Mango for being pet of the month. ;)
Do you feel sleepy waking uo so early?

~ Bae

The Zoo Crew said...

We know all about RH poops!!'s a warzone outside full of land mines, so mom has scooper duty EVERY day....*sigh*

The only thing the little white tornado knows how to do is wait to eat her food! Good job, Dexter!