Friday, February 29, 2008

Angel Labradoggie is Back!

I didn't want to tell you about this, but last week, I received a puzzling message from a doggie who claimed to have been in the witness protection program after his association with
Angel Labradoggie

I didn't think anything of it at first, but then today he sent me this most disturbing email...

Mango, it started out innocently enough. First Angel Labradoggie had me running black market organic produce in some of the more ritzy neighborhoods. It was easy work and didn't seem to be hurting anybody. But before I knew it, she had me dealing catnip at the kittie daycare. I tried not to think too much about it, but one day I found this poor little kittie all strung out on catnip and I knew that what I was doing was wrong.
I felt so bad! I was turning innocent little kitties into catnip addicted cats! I couldn't live with myself. One night, I went to Angel Labradogs house to beg her to let me out of my contract. She said NO WAY! I didn't know what to do and so when she was distracted by a tennis ball I snuck out of her house and ran into the woods.
I looked back, only to see Angel Labradoggie in hot pursuit!
I slipped in the snow and I thought I was a goner!
In desperation, I threw a stick at her and was able to make my escape.I ran for my life and eventually I found myself at the shore. Now what?
Then I heard a voice, "Hey doggie, over here." It was a scruffy looking chap sitting on the ocean wall.

He told me that he knew all about Angel Labradoggie and had once worked for her himself, but now he worked for the good guys, helping doggies like me escape from her clutches. He instructed me to fashion a disguise by rolling around in the ocean mud.

Then he gave me a berth on his boat which was setting sail to Portugal.The journey was terrible and I was very sick. The boat's crew was comprised completely of former Angel Labradoggie thugs and they were, indeed, a rough lot. I was surprised to find that when we finally docked, we were not in Portugal, but the Canary Islands.

As soon as the boat landed, I was blindfolded and put into this doggie carriage for parts unknown.They took me to a safe house that was guarded by vicious former catnip addicted attack cats.They taught me about how to survive on the lam and how to spot Angel Labradoggie goons. Her network is worldwide! I was told that the only way to escape Angel Labradoggie was to change my identity. They gave me this terrier suit which was kind of a tight fit and sent me to Spain to live with a fake "Momma."Everything was fine for a few weeks and I even learned a little Spanish, but then one day I went shopping with my fake Spanish "momma"And when I went into the dressing room I saw one of Angel's thugs!Yikes! I don't know if he made me or not, but I completely panicked. I bit my leash in half and took off as fast as I could in that confining terrier suit. Now I am wandering the streets of London, trying to find more contacts that can help me stay in hiding (and that terrier suit is starting to look a little nasty - plus it itches).

Mango, my man, Here is my caution to you. Do NOT mess with Angel Labradoggie! She means business! Don't turn into another dude like me... always running and looking over your back.

Your pal,

Doggie X

BTW - Don't show these photos to ANYBODY!

[Mango - Don't worry Doggie X! I deleted the photos as soon as I posted them]

[Mom - Mango, you are such a fool. What have you gotten yourself into?]

So now I'm kinda worried!

I mean, Momma said all that nonsense about mutant hump meister guinea pig labrapuppies was a hoax and Dexter is an actual Labrapuppy. But, this guy seems like the real deal and now Angel Labradoggie and her guinea pig thugs are after him! What if she asks me to do her a favor?

I'm scared! And I don't think I would fit into one of those terrier suits, but I'm going to get one just in case!

Mango Man! Eiyeeeeeee!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Where Bully Sticks Come From

Master has declared the entire inside of my house as a bully stick free zone. He says they are just too gross and he's tired of slipping on the suds puddles I leave on the carpet. Well, we'll see about that.

On a more disturbing note, I just found out that bully sticks are made from bull, um... pointy sticks!I read it in the Tufts Veterinary school newsletter, so it must be true, right? I'm not sure what to make of that tidbit of information...

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Here is one of those stupid fat squirrels eating all the yummy corn off my Observation Deck.

Usually they travel in gangs, but today, there was just one.I don't approve. Why should they get to eat the yummy corn and Mango cannot? Its not right and I demanded to go out and show that squirrel what for.Squirrel be gone! Those blasted things do not seem to be terribly afraid of me. I hosed down that squirrel with my most menacing Mango stare. Hah! Squirrel be gone! You will not come on to my Observation Deck again!

[Mom - Mango can't be bothered to chase something that is more than six feet away from him, so the squirrels are pretty safe]

[Mom - Mango barely gets inside before the squirrels are back. No respect. Maybe we need to borrow a terrier]Mango Man! Whatever!

Progress and a New Stuffie

Yesterday, for a change of pace, we went walkies in the woods behind our house. It was plenty fun with lots of cool sniffies. However, this morning, momma found a tick on me! Grrrrr! How can there be snow on the ground and a tick on Mango? We did an emergency Frontline application, but I'm worried because despite Frontline I have already caught the Lyme disease twice and its no fun! So all you doggies in Master Chew Sits take note and ask your humans to break out the Frontline. The ticks have arrived!

On a more positive note.... see anything different? Yes, my living room addition now has windows! Yesterday, two of Master's buddies came over and helped him put the windows in (which I think went a long way to curing his cabin fever).

Even better, I got a new stuffie! Actually, it isn't all that new as I have seen it languishing in the dog drawer for about forever.I snatched that little sucker right up and proceeded to take it into the Big Yard for stuffie fun.First I had to subdue it by face slamming it into the snow a few times.It almost got away from me by burrowing under the snow. Not so fast Mr. Stuffie.Finally, it was properly stunned.Then I spent a good long time just mashing it in my mastiff jaws making it honk honk honk. How much fun is that?Afterwards, I ate some snow to refresh my pallet. Yummers.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sun Baking

Mango Man! Sizzlin' hot! Oh yeah!

Out of Order

ARG! I started working on a post about my living room addition before the big snow came, but just published it today and blogger put it OUT OF ORDER! So, you'll need to scroll down to read it. Or you can jump to it.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Snow... Again!

I decided to sleep in this morning because I figured that with all the snow I would be denied walkies.
Sure enough, one look out the door and a Snow Emergency was declared.Are you sure? Doesn't look so bad to me.
No, we had to shovel! Oh, the horror!
When Mom shovels my paths for me in the yard, I like to follow reeeally close and head butt her to keep her moving along which makes me a Bad Dog. Oh who cares? At least I'm having fun.I decided to do a little landscaping and relieve one of my bushes of its lower branches.
After brush removal, its important to crunch it down to little pieces.I briefly considered trimming one of the baby apple trees, but decided not to since the last time I trimmed the fruit trees I kind of got carried away and completely ate them and Master had to buy new trees (oops). (Hey, MJ, check it out! I'm totally naked!).I am sorry to report that Momma is quite keen on examining my poops. As a result she noticed some corn kernels that looked suspiciously like the food she puts out for the birds and critters. So, this morning, after she put the food out, she spied on me (not nice). And I was totally busted!Oops! Hey the squirrels eat my food, why can't I have some of theirs?Sigh, I think its going to be a long day.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. from Momma - I'm not a big fan of cute kid videos, but this one cracks me up every time! So I figured I'd post it for any of you humans that need a good laugh.