Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Invastion Part II

Dexter here. I am still worn out from all the driving I did on Friday. Plus, I think I am deaf in my right ear due to Lacie's non-stop yelling all the way home. So, I am going to turn the blog over to the Relentlessly Huge. Its been a loooong weekend.

Mango Man here. First off, I have to apologize that I have not visited my friends lately, but it has been insane here on the estate. I'm also regretting inviting all those terriers over. I figured it would just be a small party and they were local, but seven terriers in the house... oh man!

When last I posted, Lacie and the gals had locked themselves in the guestroom....

My Darling MJ sent me this text message.
mango i am texting you from my call this a slumber party...lacie hasnt quit talking since we got in here...i keep trying to escape but she wont let me....i miss you my big man

But she must have had her blackberry camera on a timer or something because next thing I know I received this image!

Doesn't look like MJ is suffering too much. I don't know what's in those smoothies...

OMD! Lacie is totally trying to open the sunroof and poor Maggie is trapped in some head cooker and Agatha, well, guess she's guarding the blender.

EIYEEEE! Talk about your bad hair day! Uh, on second thought, MJ looks kind of hot as a blond. Is Lacie growing a volcano out of her pointy little noggin?

Meanwhile, us guys were getting kind of bored.Sruffman had brought along his blow torch and suggested we light some farts. I reminded him what happened last time, but he said if I stuck my huge and magnificently shapely butt in the fireplace it would be OK.

Here goes...Whoops.

In the morning, I sent the pee-wee up to check on the girls. What a mess they made! I see Agatha made a temporary bomb shelter. Is that Lacie hanging off the foot board? Is she for real?

Dexter assured me that they were sound asleep (even though Maggie kind of has her eyes open).So I very quietly snuck out to the Mastiff Mobile for the Running of the Errands (because it was Saturday after all).

What the? Where's Momma??? Must get into front seat and remove the horror!

But alas, I was trapped and Lacie zoomed through the doggie dog store drive through and even nabbed my car cookie! This is too much. The Mango is foaming at the mouth mad! That Lacie is the worst. What next?Mango Man! More to come...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Invasion Part I

So this was the weekend of my alleged "date" with that Lacie creature. I didn't relish the idea of spending any time alone with her, so I invited Maggie, Mitch, Agatha, Archie, Scruffy, Stan, and, of course, MJ, to join us. My hope was that Lacie would just arrive and leave, but she insisted I provide transportation and that she be able to sleep over at the estate. Oh man!

Anyhoo, I had just finished my breakfast on Friday morning, when who should appear, but my beloved MJ! I don't know how she got here so fast, but I was super glad she arrived early.I was cracker dog glad to see her and you can see she is singing my praises, "oh Mango Maaaan!"I had prepared a yummers feast for my darling. And I was so happy to discover that MJ loves baking just like me! We enjoyed some quality time together. Oh MJ!
Meanwhile, pee-wee donned his chauffeur cap and prepared for his trip to PA to pick up you know who.
After a nine hour drive, you would think he would at least be offered some hospitality, but here is what he found. That Lacie, with a pile of luggage, barking out orders already! "Don't drop it! That side up! I can't sit in the back! Do you know what you're doing? Do I have to ride in that fart filled mastiff mobile-a-ma-thing!!?"Then she insisted on donning her protective gear to keep Mango suds from getting on her precious fur and a gas mask in the event of Mango farts.
I am proud of the little midget, because he insisted Lacie leave that ridiculous outfit behind and told everybody to load up. You can see that he is already having second thoughts about driving. Scruffy and Stan are OK, but Lacie was all "yap yap yap" before they even hit the road.By the time they hit the New Jersy Turnpike, Scruffman and Stan had popped the sun roof to enjoy the breezes.Next stop in Connect the Dots to fetch Maggie and Mitch. They are experienced travelers.Finally back in Master Chew Sits. The boys all had their heads out, but Lacie and Maggie were afraid to mess up their hair. Jeez.Agatha and Archie were watching for the Mastiff Mobile and couldn't wait to join the party.Lacie had phoned ahead and told Agatha to get a jumbo sized bag of this curiously named foodable. It was very late when Dexter and everybody arrived, but Momma agreed to take a group photo. MJ looks a little nervous having all those terriers around, but I held her paw and told her it would be OK. Looks like Mitch already started hitting the sauce (who wouldn't after being trapped in the mastiff mobile with Lacie) and even Maggie looks a little jet lagged. Agatha conked out completely. Scruffy and Stan are used to herself. Not sure what's up with Archie.I strategically placed the beheaded stuffie near the doorway to the guestroom. This could be YOU, Lacie gal, if you don't behave.

Next thing I know, the door is slammed in my face with THIS!Dexter, Mitch, Archie, Stan, Scruffer, time to retreat to the DOG CAVE!
Mango Man! Oh yeah!
Coming next... the slumber party.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I think I ate too much. I feel kind of funny... HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Mango Man, oh yeah!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Smoochie Face

What is wrong with this picture?In the morning after breakfast, Momma likes to sit in her chair and drink coffee and read whilst we digest. Now I can hear what you are thinking, "Mango Man, why are you positioned thusly with your fabulously huge head wedged against the chair?"
Well, obviously because from this location, I am in just the right position for...Maximum smoochie face! That's what I'm talkin' about, let the lovin' begin!Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Photo Shoot

Today was the day for our holiday photo shoot and let's just say it did not go as expected. If I had known what was involved, maybe I wouldn't have volunteered for the big card exchange. First, we had to put on our outfits. I got these cool antlers.

The Relentlessly Huge started out with this Santa hat.
But that didn't last too long. Its a HAT you big dope!
Next, Momma had the bright idea that she would put a cape on him. You can see that I am staying in the background lest she find a cape for me. I was happy with my antlers.At this point, there were cookies involved (see me speeding in for for some foodables from the left). But RH decided this was the way he wanted to sit and, well, once that big butt hits the floor...I think the cape looks good on him. Problem is that when the yummers came out, Mango thought it meant it was time to do his dancing moves (which do not include sitting still). He even kept trying to get on the table (because one of his moves is to touch things with his footies). Then he got stuck behind the table. I had to turn my head to avoid being gassed to death.
Somewhere along the way he lost his cape, and by now we were both on the wrong side of the table, and Momma was starting to get a bit frustrated.
The mental exercise required wore the big guy out and he declared our photo shoot done.
Oh well, here I am looking very charming with my antlers. They have built in mistletoe, you know (Randi) and you can't read them in this photo, but they even say "kiss me."So, when you get our holiday card, just remember that its the thought that counts...
Dexter done!

Friday, November 21, 2008


Mango Momma here with public service and educational announcements.

Public Service Announcement
DO NOT BUY ANYTHING FROM PETLAND! There is evidence that they use puppy mills to get their puppies.

Educational Announcement
Don't patronize stores that sell puppies at all! In my opinion, the idea that any puppy bought at a store comes from a reputable breeder is bunk. I've met lots of breeders over the years and not one of them would knowingly sell any of their puppies to a dog store for resale to anybody with a credit card. They would certainly not keep their puppies in wire cages 24x7 during their critical first few weeks such as you see in these stores.

If you want a pure bred puppy, go to dog shows, look on line, and find a breeder. Ideally, find a breeder that you can visit personally and meet the sire and dam. Any good breeder wants to personally know where their pups are going and is anxious to maintain contact with you after you have brought the pup home. Buy from somebody who views breeding as their passion, not a business.

OK, I could go on and on, but don't want to rant too much. It just really steams me that puppy mills stay in business because people choose not to do their homework before they bring one of these precious beings into their lives.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Blabrador and Whining

I'm posting this picture of the Pee-wee because Randi asked for it. Here's your little cub trying to look all macho.

I don't know what she sees in him. Besides, the kid is a total Blabrador. He nearly gave away our secret Poker party to Scruffman's mom all for a couple of tennis balls. Lacie turned him in just in time.
On to my main topic...
Does this sound familiar? You grab your new stuffie or other amusement and go to the door ready for action.

And this is what you hear...

"Oh [your name here]! I would love to go out and play with you, but its just too cold (hot, rainy, snowy, windy, insert any weather condition). And besides, momma (PL, ma ape, jie jie, mom) is sooo tired (grouchy, busy)."

At which point, you say, "OK, but can we do something inside at least like visit my bloggy friends or play a game, huh?"

Then the peoples will likely use their special lovey name for you. "Oh [insert lovey name here] you know momma loves you, but she really needs to just spend some quiet time reading (watching TV, napping, staring at the wall)." Or sometimes there's the old, "I just really need to do some housework (make some phone calls, write my memiors)." [as if there is something more important than me].

I don't know about you, but when momma needs extra smoochies or somebody to run errands with or anything, I don't whine and complain, I'm there for her. Plus, I always greet her when she comes home from that work place even if I was really busy eating or biting pee-wee or meditating.

I think I need a support group.

In the meantime, I have my hedgehog. Sigh.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Clone Trouble

You might recall that while we were all in the UK for the Halloween party, Eric spotted these Hector clones and posted their photo (thanks). I'm not sure where they all came from, but somehow they managed to stow away on Aire Ruby and they've been taking over Mango's estate and generally driving everybody crazy.
These clones are into everything! Plus, they appear to be multiplying. A bunch of them had some kind of wheelie slumber party in the big bed and messed it all up.

They're also running in gangs, so you can never get them all in one place at once. This bunch isn't too bright...
While this clever crew came dangerously close to ransacking the people's goodie cabinet.Poor Mango is beside himself. He can barely get around the house without tripping over them.
Even Dexter is getting harassed. They wouldn't let him near his new stuffie.
As for me, I'm hiding out on the bookcase until I can figure out how to convince them to return to wherever they came from (or at least go someplace other than the estate).Any ideas?

Hector Wheelie. Over and out!