Friday, January 2, 2009

Forced Cuddling... oh the Horror!

As reported earlier, Momma recently purchased an orthopedic pad for me to rest my large and sometimes stiff self upon.

But it has been repeatedly violated by the Pee-Wee Midget Hump Meister!Leaving me to recline on the puppy bed with the comfort of my decapitated Santa.That doesn't seem right. After all, the Pee-Wee actually gets to sleep on the couch when he wants and sometimes even (gasp) Momma's lap! So why must he infringe on the Mango bed? Some of you suggested I move him, but I'm just not that kind of a guy, so instead I pace and pace and pace and pace and... until Momma can't stand it and kicks the midget out of my bed (Momma says Pee-Wee is becoming the "big dog" whatever that means that its a good thing that I have a pack leader due to my "limited cognitive abilities." Huh? Sure, yesterday I forgot how to get into the Mastiff Mobile, but that could happen to anybody, right?).

I mean, I even have to retire to the dog cave early sometimes and miss out on all the action in MY living room addition just so that I can get dibbs ON MY OWN BED!

So I decided to take a new tact which required a disturbing amount of actually cuddling with the squirt.

No sooner do I perch myself, than he wakes up from his feigned state of slumber...And relocates!Leaving me perched most unfortunately on the very edge of my mastiff bed (what if I totally fell out?).Did ever one suffer so?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

28 comments:

dewdana said...

Oh Mango man! I can sympathize with the loss of a bed to a labradude! During the move Moose has taken over my bed too! He has not been allowed to hop up there in ages due to his knee trouble but for now the mattress is on the floor (secretly stalling putting the bed together so I can snuggle w/ him) and I go in there to find him stretched across the whole mattress! Terrible! Labradudes are not known for sharing or 'scooting over' either!

Gus said...

Mango...umm..this cannot be put delicately. So stand with your rear end toward his nose and let loose with a Mangofart! That is how I get muzzer to move when she is in my spot on the big bed! Except mine are gussietoots

gussie

The OP Pack said...

Good one, Gus!!!

Mango - woo are just so abused. Maybe woo could drop a hint or two to Mom that Pee Wee needs his own orthopedic bed.

Woos, the OP Pack

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Woo khould put pikhtures of Lacie on it...

That mightkeep him off of it...

But that might prevent woo from sleeping as well!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

I can't imagine why Dexter would need your bed when he has sooo many other options...

This situation needs to be corrected soon...

Abby xxxooo

Agatha and Archie said...

Well well well I can certainly relate as Archie MUST sleep wherever I am....so what you do is this..pretend you are going to sleep on one bed, then the little squirt will come over then get up and move over to the bed you really wanted to go to....If that doesn't work i like Gussies idea..Love A+A

Eduardo said...

Poor Mango! Why must you suffer so? Dang that labradude! I agree with Gus. Desprate times call for desprate mesures!
Hugs & Snugs
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

Mack said...

Mango man,
We think you are one very smart doggie for figuring out a way to chase PeeWee out of your bed!!

Happy (late) Blogaversary dude!!

Joe Stains said...

Mango, this is a serious injustice. I do not have any advice other than possibly farting on his head?? Little brothers are the WORST.

Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrr Mango
Happy 2009 How could it start out with having to share Harrrr that is so strange Harrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Poor Mango that squirt is taking advantage of your kind heart. But that is just the way you are. One sweet puppy!!

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Maggie and Mitch said...

We cannot believe that you're literally falling out of your OWN BED! PeeWee is a very selfish brother! hummmmmm, where have I heard these words before?!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Lacy said...

w00f's Mango and Dexter, happy one year bloggieversary...heehee mango, mama wants to no iffin she can borrow ur bed too, her back iz hurting..

b safe,
~rocky~

Asta said...

Mango
How howwible fow youI hope you don't fall off..It's onlt wight that you should have the full use of youw own bed
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Eric said...

Mango! Suds the bed man so Peewee slips off???

Wags, Eric xx

Saint Lover said...

I hate to tell you this Mango, but I think Pee Wee is getting a bit big for his britches and needs to have the some smack layed down. hehehe

ocmist said...

Oooo, Mango, what an awesome stud-muffin you are... So big and handsome. I totally agree with my Mom when she saw you and said you looked totally hugable!!!

I know exactly what you mean... Mom got me a memory foam mattress bed, and everytime I turn around, that Border Collie, Sadie is on it! Mom DOES make her get off as soon as she notices my sad puppy face look. I'd just bite her if it wasn't against the rules. (See my blog about our fight yesterday...)

I like Gussie's idea, though... Sadie can clear a room with her squirrel farts!

Good luck, handsome!!! O.C.
http://countrycorgis.blogspot.com/

Noah the Airedale said...

I hear you matie. The things we have to put up with. It's just not right. I've found my bed in pieces...totally ruined.
We need to devise a plan to keep our siblings away from our beds. Let me know if you think of anything.

tailwags
Noah

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

Mango, do you feel like the Rodney Dangerfield of your estate? The pee-wee really needs to show more respect to your large and handsome self! Don't worry about forgetting how to get into the Mastiff-mobile...we do that all the time! We call it stubborn-ness!

Aire-hugs,
Poppy, Penny & Patches

Stanley said...

Hey, Mango!

I'm with Gussie. I bet you can work yourself up some mighty hazardous Magofarts if you really want to. And, you can always do what I do. Just lie down right on, or practically on, top of the labradude. That way you're positioned where you want to be when he gets up, and no chance of falling off.

Seriously, though. Use your resources and shoot him a few Mangofarts. I'm pretty certain it will do the trick.

Goober love & sympathy,
Stanley

wally said...

Poor Mango Man. Brudders are so greedy with the sleeping space. Fortunately I am king of this castle and I just show my front teeth to my brudder and makes him run away with his tail between his legs. True story. I highly recommend it.

Or Gus's thing.

wally t.

Nigel, Sola and Co. said...

I don't see any sign of suffering. We should all be so lucky!

Chef said...

Mangodude, at least you lost your bed to a dog - I lost mine to a CAT!! How insulting is that? Anyway, next time Dexter's on your bed, just growl a long, deep baritone rumble from way down deep inside your huge self. If that doesn't send him running, I'll be very surprised.

xox
Chef

Biggie-Z said...

Mango, you really have it rough. I don't know how you put up with that little squirt. Have you ever, you know, oops, sat on him by accident? I think he is getting a little to big for his nonexistent britches, if you know what I mean.

And it is SO UNFAIR that he gets some couch, some of Momma's lap, AND he still has to take your bed!

Happy New Year, Dude. I almost forgot how to get in the Biggie mobile too. We are just being careful we don't squash anything with our relentlessly huge paws and stuff, right?

Technodoll said...

Awe you poor dude! What you have to endure is unbelievable!

What you need is TWO orthopedic beds... so that you two can wrestle for the same one and still drive your parents bonkers.

He he. Hard work being a doggy! :-D

Lovies and Happy New Year from the akitas! xoxo

Dewey Dewster said...

Gee Mango...

Ya need ta do a bit of growlin' while yer pacin' around PeeWee there....why it's downright insultin' that he wants ta sleep in yer bed....and ya have ta hang right on the edge of it there.....ya could hurt yerself fallin' out....so repeat after me....."I Mango, am the top dog here... besides bein' the largest one and heaviest one too.... and ya need ta stay outta my bed. As Aretha Franklin said R E S P E C T"....

Good luck Mango.....

Dewey Dewster here.....

Dannan and The Girl said...

Mango, I agree with evfurrybody who pointed out Pee Wee's shocking lack of respect and deference to your Relentlessly Huge self. As a doggy with two smaller roommates, I suggest just making use of that size difference. And I can teach you how to make the Hound From Hell noises, which always help.

Wrooo!

Niamh said...

Just sit on him Mango! I bet if you plopped your Relentlessly Huge self down on the pee wee, he'd move pretty fast. Beds must be respected!

Your friend,
Niamh