Friday, May 15, 2009

Dotty Old Hen Alert

OK, I think Momma is officially losing it and I am very worried about her.

It started when she totally posted Wheelie Wednesday on Tuesday. I tried to help her re-orient by putting this helpful note on the calendar.

But even so she totally forgot to go to work today and now I might starve to death because there won't be enough money for kibbles!

Then she moved my swimming pool! The Mango does not like change. Where is my swimming pool?

How could she do such a thing? I will not get into it in its new location! Its not right! Put it back!

Earlier this week I received a package in the mail with this nice card in it.

But Momma was all freaked out because the CARD WASN'T SIGNED and WHO COULD IT BE FROM? And then the next morning Master picked the card up and looked on the back and found a nice note from Pumpkin thanking us for using some of our kibbles money to sponsor her race.

Um, hello? Anybody home?

Inside were more packages containing doggie sushi!

Which I was now allowed to sample now that Momma had solved the "mystery" of where my pressie came from. Are you believing this?

Pee-Wee got one too. His mouth looks funny because I think there is more than cookie in there right at the moment. My main clue was Momma saying, "Son of a b*&ch Dexter!"

I thought labby dogs had "soft" mouths. The squirt must be defective.

Given my good manners, I got to have extras. Thank you so much, Pumpkin!

Back to more Dotty Old Hen behavior...

She keeps writing these mysterious notes to herself. What can they mean?

Is something bad happening at 8:30? Nope, I mean 9:00? Should I be nervous?

Her photographic skills have deteriorated too. She is taking pictures like this one of Dexter's bottom.

And extreme close-ups of my large and too big for the frame self. Not exactly photo of the month material (and I am such a good subject too, hard to get a bad shot of me, but, well, you see for yourself).

Possibly most disturbing are reports Pee-Wee is bring back from his walkies which lead me to believe that Momma is putting some of Lacie's smoothies into her coffee in the morning.

According to the midget (and why would he lie), no sooner does he get up a full head of steam...

Then Momma turns around and walks or actually (gasp) runs in the opposite direction.

He can't tell which way she is going anymore.

He even says that sometimes she just walks in circles and if this keeps up I think his leggies are going to get worn down on one side.

He said this morning he got all dizzy and had to sit down.

After all the stopping and starting and spinning and turning, the little dude gets pretty worried and so he needs to keep an eye on her lest she go totally berserk on him.

But walking like this is not without its perils.

LOOK! His little pointy head is now stuck sideways!

I think Momma broke the labradude. Having a sideways pointing head is a big liability.

I guess what I'm saying is between the wrong day posting, unauthorized pool movement, forgetting to go to work, strange notes, not figuring out my pressies, and spinning around like a drunken sailor on walkies, I think that Momma has finally slipped her gears.

Nothing for me to do but chew meditatively on my cuz and hope for a speedy recovery.

Or possibly start looking for a new home where things are more stable. Maybe if I practice my Wally face enough I could join his pack and his mom would just think I was another him.
GAH! See what I mean? I totally already posted this photo. Can you hear me now? Hello?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. From Momma - Maybe some beasties need to look at their own behavior more closely. Mango has had a bit of the dye your ears and has been waking me up 2-3 times / night to attend to business. And Dexter can always be relied upon to make sure I get up early enough to put kibble in his labrabelly by 6AM at the latest. I am actually taking a vacation day to get some much needed rest. Oh yeah, and Mango, if you are reading this, you better think twice before you move in with those peppy sheppys. You think Pee-Wee is a handful?


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Have woo talked with The Master about rehoming her?

I khan see if DOH-Finder has any others in your area...if not, I'm sure I khan get my mom to assist with a transport!

PeeEssWoo: Has she tried drinking AGJ? That helps my mom a lot - I mean, if she didn't she might be like yours!

Nibbles Treats said...

Just a case of the "Mom's" - too many irons in the fire or juggling too many balls in the air. Our mom gets the same way some times. Perhaps it is a genetic flaw in the female persuasion. Just follow her around and nudge her with your massive shnoz to keep her on the right track.

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

hehe! sorry about your mom mango!

Brind'Amour said...

Hey Mango,
Sorry to hear about your mom. When they do things like this, they are such worries to us. Maybe you should pick up some Ginko for her. It can't hurt. Tell your mom not to move the pool anymore. Such behavior only causes us undo stress.


Deetz said...

My mum does that stuff too. Its the best time to do the things we are not supposed to do, like dig, or destuff stuffies and go on walk abouts. ummmm, your mum isn't reading this is she???? crank call crank

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

I guess all Moms are like that, Mom does that drunken sailor routine too when she brings me out for walks! According to her, it's to make me walk Like A Good Boy (which is beside her...*rolls eyes*)


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I've decided that when my Mom starts acting weird, the only way to keep her in line is to follow her around - as close as possible - and make sure that she doesn't do anything silly, like throw stuffies rather than one of my squeaky balls. (HELLO, MOTHER - stuffies Don't Bounce the way Squeaky Balls Do!!!) If she really starts to lose it, I try to climb up in her lap when she's in a chair, or I just stretch out on top of her when she's in bed. At least it keeps her in one spot. I wish you luck! *kissey face!*

Anonymous said...

I think it's okay, Mango. Any story that ends with the doggies getting yummy treats is a good one. I hope your momma has a nice restful day.

See ya!

Moco said...

The crazy old bat says nothing is wrong with your momma. We are thinking, birds of a feather.

The OP Pack said...

Hey Mango, same problem here. Our Mom never knows what the date is, sometimes she even confuses her days. Today she told our Dad that it was May 14th. If your calendar is right, she made a big boo boo, didn't she?

Hope the labradude gets his head straightened out:-)

Woos, the OP Pack

DCampy34 said...

Our Mom uses a something called a berry to keep her head straight - maybe your mom and pee wee need to eat more fruit - if berries work for my mom maybe other fruit will work for yours

Woodrow, Sweetie & MJ

Luna and Sole' said...

Wow! Small world! My mom does the same thing! The notes, the walkies in circles, everything! We don't have a pool yet - we get that today! But, if she ever moves it, I will get upset too!

Hang in there Mango! It just has to get better!

Luna and Sole'

Martha Basset said...

Oh, Mango, they are all the same! Our mum keeps calling Martha, Bailey and vice versa!
The other day she actually shouted Mouschi - turns out this was the cat that died three years ago after 22 happy years!
She is remembering to go to work but we dont think she is really up to it!
We think you are just as well sticking with her as long as she remembers to feed you - too bad about moving the pool though.......
good luck
Martha & Bailey or Bailey & Martha xx

Behr Behr said...

That was hilarious! Thanks, I needed to start my morning off with a laugh :) Laughter is good medicine, you know?

Holly :)

Note from Behr Behr: Oh my gosh, your mom walks like that too??? I thought maybe my mom was just super confused or something. It's really embarrassing, and I don't like other people seeing her strange behavior. As soon as she stops, I zoom ahead so I can pull her in a straight line again. :)

Behr Behr :)

Aniemother said...

Uh oh... Hope she's back to normal soon!


dewdana said...

Wow... sounds like a serious malfunction at the estate! Would you believe that I read your Wheelie wednesday post and not only did not notice... I remember thinking "it is wednesday already" but it did not seem that far off to me so I did not even look at the calendar and just went with it! Honestly, I never really know what day it is without thinking pretty hard!
Sorry about the dye your ears... hope it was not the sushi!
Moose + Dana

Randi said...

Dear Mango RH...

I like Khyra's idea of rehomeing the dotty-ole-hen...but then again, she is quite the good momma & surely you'd miss your rides in the MangoMobile & the car cookies...your new momma just might forget that...

I suggest that you lay your RH head in her lap & let your zen vibes travel through her fingers as she uses you like a medium to meditate...


works for me..

Love & Licks,

ps...give my kisses to Dexter...pooor little labradude...

Heather and Pumpkin said...

I am glad you enjoyed the sushi Mango. You are so relentlessly huge, they look like fish flavored tic tacs next to you.

Looks like your mommy figured out how to make the card into a little stand-up Labradude figure too. That's why mommy had to write on a back, it opens kind of funny and its hard to write on the inside.

Glad your master figured out the mystery.


cookie said...

Hey Mango,
How is your big beautiful self? We finally got to stop by and say hello. We know what you mean about those mama's. Ours has been less than reliable lately!!

Cookie and crew

Lady Kaos said...

Uh oh! I hope your mom recovers soon! My mom has no idea what day it is anymore either or what time it is. She says it's because when you don't go to work or have any other schedule, you loose track of what day and time it is.
Good Luck!

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Now we understand. It isn't Mom at all it is you 2 driving mom crazy!!
you better straighten up or mom will send you to those Peppy sheppys.

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Stella said...

Dottie Old Hen???

Slipped Her Gears??

Thats rood stuff you are dishing out Mango, to someone who gets up to deal with your icky potty problems 3 times a night.

Give this a little more thought, will you? And nicen up for Mom.


Sophie Brador said...

Mango, You can move in here. I'm a labradudette, sorta, but I am super chill and meditate all the time. Besides, I am also beautiful and will keep your Mango brain occupied for hours by simply being the vision of loveliness I am.


P.S. But don't tell Joey.

Mason Dixie said...

what a great post. I would be careful about what you post about your mom Mango things could get hairy for you. =)

Asta said...

Mommi nevew knows what day it , she went to the dogtow and was supposed to fill out stuff, and diddn't know the answews..I hope they don't flunk hew., and she is aways so tiwed that none of my fwiends get answewed on time.
Things awe diwe. I have no cloo what to least you'we good at meditating. Not one of my stwong points

Eric said...

Uh oh. The Stepford Momma has malfunctioned again. Have a word with Master. He'll get her working and back to normal waiting on you hand and paw.

Wiry wags n kissies Eric xx

Liffey said...

If worst comes to worst Mango Man, send the labradude my way- he can be my double- sure mummy wouldn't notice!! You however, are too big and slobbery and are sre to be noticed. What about giving your momma to the rspca- that would protect the dexterdude from any more cruelty to his neck.
Liffey's Licks to you both in these hard times

Life With Dogs said...

Maybe if Dexter stopped spinning your mommy, and you corked your derrière, she might get some sleep and become reacquainted with sanity...

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...


Um...we noticed Wheelie Wed. this week bein' on a Tuesday at your house, but assumed it was a 'mergency due to its delicate subject....

Stan's been havin' that diamaria too...Mumsie keeps washin' the yardie with a bucket...

As for the mice...well, Scruff and I are on alert right now...


It's freakin' Mumsie out totally....

Gotta run and do yippies...


Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Oh your poor mommy is doing too much multi-tasking. Sounds like she needs a nice long nap. Ours went nuts trying to pack up our up north stuff,now poor old pop is trying to get all that into the car. The hoomans don't tolerate the high stress levels that we do. She'll be okay.(Mommy said to offer her a glass of scoth.)
Smooches, BabyRocketDog

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Sorry that last word was supposed to be scotch. Our secretary/mommy is a bit over worked right now too.

aninhas said...

woow Mango!
That thing with the swimming pool was not cool :S
Kiko dont like changes too :(
But it looks like the day ended in a better way :D
Good luck for your mumy.
Kiko thinks that she will need in the future, maybe you too ;P

hugs and kisses from kikos world

Dewey Dewster said...

Wow Mango.....

I think ya were barkin' up the wrong tree there.....yer Mom seems ta have 'er marbles in order......think ya better ease up a bit or you'll be sleepin' in that misplaced pool.....

Dewey Dewster here......

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Hmmm.... my mom says all the moms are entitled to have one... or two... of those days!
And yes, you have to be nice with her... she is the one who takes good care of you and Dexter! Ha!
Kisses and hugs

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

After today's episode with The Wolf, I think I am in the same boat - I think Mom is losing it. I mean, putting ME in close proximity to a wolf?!? (No matter how handsome he was he's still a wolf!) I think that my Mom needs to see the vet for a little evaluation (and possibly some needle sticks... just because, you know...). And if I ever get a pool, and Mom moves it? Well, Dad may have to take control of things here. But those sushi things look really good..... Maybe I can cajole Mom out of her oddness and get me some of those! *kissey face*

Mack said...

Mom says you could totally move in with us!

Maggie and Mitch said...

This sounds very serious to us, Mango! Now about that 9:00 note - have you figured out what it meant yet?

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Ludo van Doggy said...

My Mum does that day thing all the time. Just people stupidity I thinks, although my Mum does be 24 X older than me I don't think that old in people terms, so can't be cos of that.
She do that spinny Dexter thing too. It annoying. I hope she give up soon.
~lickies, Ludo

Joe Stains said...

holy crap dude, what is going on over there? Does she need a specialist? an anti-spinning day noting specialist? I don't know one but I am sure one exists. I am going to go check on my Mom to see what in the heck she is up to.

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

I'm not sure your want to move in with the peppy sheppys, Mango! I don't think they would give you enough time to meditate! Tell your momma not to feel bad...our mom is like that ALL the time! She always tries to put the coffee filter basket into the 'fridge door where the ice comes out. Duh! We're thinkin' maybe she needs some of Lacie's smoothies!

Poppy, Penny & Patches

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay this sownds like a scarry sitchooayshun!!! hav yoo seen enny verry lardj alien luking pods arownd laytly??? ok bye

Rufus, Indie (and Anita) said...

Hi Mango! Tough day for your mom! Those cookies look delicious! Dexter has a beautiful purple leash and harness!
Rufus and Indie

Kess And Her Mama said...

Your momma definitely needs a vacation! How abt you surprise her with one?

Amber and Nala said...

Uh Oh Mango....looks like your Momma read your post. You may be in trouble....just give her your sweetest eyes and drool a little and that will make it all better. :)


Molly and Taffy said...

Has your Mum put the kettle in the fridge, the milk bottle in the oven then gone upstairs carrying the teapot and got to the top and wondered why she is doing it?


It is all very worrying. WE have to keep a VERY close eye on our food just to make sure it is not misfiled!

Molly and Taffy


Hey Mango
Your blog always cracks me up! But.. doesn't it take one to know one?? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree??? Just a question in support of Momma. Wish you went to the earthdog event. It was fun and would've love to meet you too.


Agatha and Archie said...

FREAK US OUT!!! For a moment we thought you were talking about PL2!!! Wow this is weird..... is this a phenomena?? Are aliens taking over?? Are they all from the same breeder??? And the second thing is, we do not have the capability to meditate...We can not even let a LEAF fall without freaking over it SO WHAT CAN WE DO?????? More to follow..Love A+A PS was there ever a cuter baby than you?? Pee wee of course is included.....

Honey the Great Dane said...

Hi Mango,

You're not the only one! In fact, when I was younger and in my "naughty time" - my human went through a similarly weird phase, especially the walking in circles and turning around and changing directions all the time was a real pain because all I wanted to do was pull on the lead and lunge at other dogs excitedly and her crazy twirling around just got me so dizzy and confused that I ended up deciding it was better to walk nicely next to her with a loose leash instead. Well, I suppose now that I've got used to that, I don't miss the pulling and lunging that much.

Hey - but you're worried about her moving your pool? You should come and live in my house! My bed is constantly moving! I never know if I can find it again when I get off it each morning! My crazy human is always dragging it around the house to "better spots" for me...

And my human writes those weird notes too! She sticks them all over the place...and then gets grumpy because she forgets to look at them. As for forgetting to feed - don't even get me started! She has totally forgotten to feed me breakfast 3 times! She only realised when Paul came home and asked why my raw chicken carcasses were still sitting on the counter...thank god he lives with us and normally does the feeding thing, otherwise I would surely starve to death eventually! :-)

Those dog sushi sure look yummy!!

Honey the Great Dane

Allison (Dog Mom) said...

Maybe your mommee is just having an "off day". Our mommee has those, too. It is best to let her sleep. Then she will not be forgetting important things like foodables.

Gus and Waldo