Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Wheelie Wednesday - Tutoring

This morning Mango set me down to give me a talkin to about my recent, ahem, "behaviors."





He indicated that my "activities" were a bit out of control and that I needed to do something quickly. Then he let me think on it.



It seems that Momma has secretly been filming me while she was at work and, well, you can see for yourself...




According to Mango, my wheelie nards are effecting my brain and causing bad behavior and he scheduled me for an emergency tutoring.








I was rushed to the operating room and given laughy gas so as not to remember the tutoring.









Was I really operated on by a one armed monkey or was that just the drugs talking?









Um, I think it WAS a one armed monkey. But I must say that I didn't feel too bad other than a bit sore when I woke up and the monkey, um, surgeon, said the procedure was a great success!












I staggered over to Mango who said he was very proud of me for being such a brave wheelie (humph, easy for him to say what with him still having his nards and all).






But frankly, I was feeling a tad dorked out and retired to the dog cave. Dexter was quite interested in the site of the tutoring (again, not a lot of sympathy given, well, Dex is what they call intact).





But he left me alone to sleep it off.






And look at me now! The Monkey in the Box and I are great pals. And I am free of those old urges (although I do wonder what became of my nards).

Hector Wheelie, over and out!

28 comments:

Stella said...

You are a brave guy, Hector, and your life will be much better (as well as the lives of your family)after this surgery and your healing!

Cheers for Hector!

Kisses,
Stella

Dannan and The Girl said...

If splurgery is the answer for humping, Dexter better watch out!

Mango, I am most upset. The Girl was out cheating on me last night (she calls it Puppy Class, but I know what's REALLY going on there!) and she met a Mastiff puppy. He is six months old and already verging on huge! He is nowhere near as handsome as your most magnificent self, but what am I to do? What if she decides she likes this second rate Mastiff and brings him home in her purse? (let me tell you, her purse is big enough to hide a Mastiff!) Girlie is so taken by the Mango, I fear for my future as an only dog! Do you have any advice???

Wroo.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Pssssst...

Mango....

Does your DOH - ummmm - how do I paw this.....have a substance problem?

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Well, at least she didn't khapture this at The Mall or one of 'those' kinds of 'bookstores'
PeePeeEssWoo: DAMN GOOD STUFF!

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Hee hee.. Mom's wondering if momma is still on those muscle relaxers for her back. That gives a new meaning to HUMP DAY Wednesday.

PS- Tula goes to Masterpiece on Sunday mornings for the rowdy agility.
Norwood

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Mumsie falls off the chair laughin' hysterically...

S P L A T................

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Um...Mango...you know how your momma sometimes leaves odd things on the counter...

She um didn't leave Hector's nards there did she?

I'm hoping the Master would be able to recognize a wheelie nard and react appropriately....

Like NOT eatin' it for supper.....

Scruffy

Peee esssss...and what do they look like...??????

You're killin' us here Mango...just killin' us.........

Noah the Airedale said...

Sure hope those bandaids are good quality matie.

Noah x

Dennis the Vizsla said...

A one-armed monkey! Of course! Does Lt. Gerard know about this?

Lorenza said...

Hi, Hector!
I am so sorry you had to suffer that to fix your humping problem!
Glad you are getting along pretty well with the Monkey in the Box!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Brind'Amour said...

Can I just say.... OUCH!!! It's a sensitive subject for me. I can't think about it anymore...

Not so many wiggles,
Brind'Amour

babyphat523 said...

OMG... Nards. Band-aid on nether region... ROFL! :D
Here's to a speedy recovery!

I really needed the smiles today, thanks Hector
xo

Aki and Poopie said...

oh my dog! this is too darn funnY! we love the video so much, our tummy hurts cos we cant laugh out too loud!

dexter had a very good student in you, hector. too bad he is now alone in his R rated ways! BOL!

drooly kisses,

Aki

Moco said...

We think your surgeon was a working for bananas. Don't trust any of them, we say.

Asta said...

Hectow
Mommi can't type, she's shaking histewically wif laughtew..I'm glad you have wecovewed so well fwom youw owdeal.
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Huskee and Hershey said...

HAHAHAH.. Ooops sorry Hector, we should not be laughing at you... The one armed Monkey surgeon must've done a pretty good job on your nards removal.. hope you recover soon!!

ocmist said...

Oh, poor Hector... Just wait till they jerk off those bandaids! Still it's probably better to lose your nards than your head and if you made the Huge, but tolerant, one too angry over his poor monkey... Actually, I guess the monkey's monkey friend took care of his friend's molester (from his point of view)! OC

Pee Ess, BG says he feels for you!

DCampy34 said...

Poor Hector - i just had this surgery too - but it didnt stop me from humping -

MJ

Pamela, Kira and Scampi said...

OMD! Mango! Too funny, Mom thinks that Dexter better watch out for that one armed monkey, he might be next!
~puppy kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Dozer and Coop said...

Mum had to run to the bathroom because she was so laughing at the movie and then she had to run back with all the pictures. Perhaps one of your greatest posts - )

Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

Ludo van Doggy said...

My Mum's falling about laughing too. I not think this funny, getting a new ters be very serious business. At least you does not need a cone on your head. Leave them band aids alone ok?
~lickies, Ludo

Maggie and Mitch said...

Our mom just spit her water all over the keyboard! OMG, you are too funny, Hector!
Autumn is secretly relieved that you've lost your nards! She would rather you didn't hump her leg on any dates that the two of you may have!
We hope you're able to avoid the evil lampshade, Hector! Heal fast, buddy!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Ruby Bleu said...

Oh my...Hector, I have no barks...

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

LOL... you were a naughty weelie...hehehe


Holly & Zac...XX

Martha Basset said...

Aw poor Hector wheelie - we could see something had to be done. Your behaviour in the video was a bit.....well.....inappropriate!
You will be less embarassing socially now that you had the op.
We are girls who prefer platonic relationships and we think you will find you are still attractive in a wheelie sort of a way.
Our mum was laughing at your predicament but we bassets are more empathetic.
love and kisses
Martha and Bailey xx

Joe Stains said...

I hear that in some places those nards are a delicacy. Perhaps they are right now being consumed by some foodie somewhere.

You are a brave soul, but Mom sure loved the video and is sad there will not be more.

Butchy and Snickers said...

Oh poor Hector! Do you need Dr. Snitchenstein or Dr. Snitchybug to check you out to make sure your stitches will hold??? hehehehehe! We sure hope that Monkey knew what he was doing. Errrr, what happened with your nards?? Did they donate them to science?? Wheelie nards are probably very rare you know. Hmmmmm, in fact, they should have paid you for them. Do you think the Monkey got the money???? You better do some investigating at your house.
Luv & Wirey Hugs,
Butchy, Snickers, Ruby, Sylvester & Scuby

Nibbles Treats said...

Do nards taste like chicken?

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Kimberly said...

i love the little projects and what a great unicorn wooden wheelie thingy :) bol