Little did I know when I came to live on the Mango Estate that I would turn out to be the most clever inhabitant. That is a big responsibility! And, of course, my current challenge is training Momma to walk properly.
It falls to me to make sure that Momma gets up every day to provide breakfast lest we starve to death. I am not supposed to go into the sleepy room, but unlike the Relentlessly Huge who can wake her up just by doing his Mr. Heavy Foot around the house, I sometimes need to actually sneak into the sleepy room and give her a quick poke on her snooter.
The past couple of days I tried getting her up at 4:30 AM to get things going a bit faster, but so far this strategy has only resulted in her being grouchy.
After letting a suitable time pass for the lazy thing to read the paper, drink coffee, and make several trips to the wet room it is time to try and get things moving.
Sometimes my efforts are confounded by the beastie positioning himself right in front of Momma.
They engage in some sort of endless love fest which often involves her coming perilously close to losing her entire hand in the fleshy parts of the RH.
ENOUGH! Cute face usually does the trick if you can place it close enough to become totally irresistible.
Once the Dotty Old Hen makes her way back into the sleepy room it is important to remain vigilant lest she resume her slumbers.
I also have to keep back the RH because he sometimes try to smoochie face her into bypassing the entire walkie thing and going directly to boring back yard poop patrol.
Technically I shouldn't be in the sleepy room, but as long as some part of me is outside I don't think it counts. Besides, this tactic prevents the door from closing and then who knows what could happen.
Now I have read all the nonsense that Momma has been posting about training ME, but those are obviously retouched photos.
I will now show you the ACTUAL PHOTOS of one or my recent training sessions.
In order to lure her outside, I am forced to carry a supply of the Dunkin Donuts. Chasing after these can really get her going. Hurry up!
If she starts to flag, I am quick to find a spot where I can deal with the situation head on.
And if she gets grouchy, I do a calming face and force her to take deep, cleansing breaths.
I warn you that all this training can be pretty tiring and you might get frustrated, but you have to STICK WITH IT (and always bring more donuts than you think you will need since people have the most amazingly short attention span).
Given that my brother is a gigantic, simple minded, spoiled, cry baby oaf, I have taken it upon myself to train him as well.
After walkies I am usually a bit parched but despite my patient waiting in the empty pool, Momma is often distracted by poop patrol and does not fill it with fresh water quickly enough. So I have trained Mango to make his pathetic baby sounds to remind her that I am thirsty.
I am also working on teaching Momma to distract the beast while I enjoy my red Frisbee from Brind 'Amour as you will see in this short movie.
Did you see the way she throws the Frisbee? The things I put up with...
I will tell you that the RH is a BIG BULLY who is only interested in toys that I am playing with. See him here making faces at me?
This is him "playing" with the Frisbee. Hey! Don't wear yourself out, big guy.
I am doing pretty well training momma to work on Mango's "dance moves" while I enjoy myself. Here he is executing the complex sit - stay (duh - is my bottom on the ground yet?).
Leaving me to do what I love!
We're both happier when Momma thinks she's in charge.
P.S. It appears that Momma has instituted a "turn off your computer day" on weekends. This combined with some nonsense called "end of quarter stuff" at work has limited our visits to our pals to an alarming extent. I am so glad that you are sticking with us and leaving comments and I have been promised once the "dreaded housework" is completed that I might actually get some computer time. One can hope.