Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dexter Day - Training Momma (and Mango)

Little did I know when I came to live on the Mango Estate that I would turn out to be the most clever inhabitant. That is a big responsibility! And, of course, my current challenge is training Momma to walk properly.

It falls to me to make sure that Momma gets up every day to provide breakfast lest we starve to death. I am not supposed to go into the sleepy room, but unlike the Relentlessly Huge who can wake her up just by doing his Mr. Heavy Foot around the house, I sometimes need to actually sneak into the sleepy room and give her a quick poke on her snooter.

The past couple of days I tried getting her up at 4:30 AM to get things going a bit faster, but so far this strategy has only resulted in her being grouchy.

After letting a suitable time pass for the lazy thing to read the paper, drink coffee, and make several trips to the wet room it is time to try and get things moving.

Sometimes my efforts are confounded by the beastie positioning himself right in front of Momma.

They engage in some sort of endless love fest which often involves her coming perilously close to losing her entire hand in the fleshy parts of the RH.

ENOUGH! Cute face usually does the trick if you can place it close enough to become totally irresistible.

Once the Dotty Old Hen makes her way back into the sleepy room it is important to remain vigilant lest she resume her slumbers.

I also have to keep back the RH because he sometimes try to smoochie face her into bypassing the entire walkie thing and going directly to boring back yard poop patrol.

Technically I shouldn't be in the sleepy room, but as long as some part of me is outside I don't think it counts. Besides, this tactic prevents the door from closing and then who knows what could happen.

Now I have read all the nonsense that Momma has been posting about training ME, but those are obviously retouched photos.

I will now show you the ACTUAL PHOTOS of one or my recent training sessions.

In order to lure her outside, I am forced to carry a supply of the Dunkin Donuts. Chasing after these can really get her going. Hurry up!

If she starts to flag, I am quick to find a spot where I can deal with the situation head on.

And if she gets grouchy, I do a calming face and force her to take deep, cleansing breaths.

I warn you that all this training can be pretty tiring and you might get frustrated, but you have to STICK WITH IT (and always bring more donuts than you think you will need since people have the most amazingly short attention span).

Given that my brother is a gigantic, simple minded, spoiled, cry baby oaf, I have taken it upon myself to train him as well.

After walkies I am usually a bit parched but despite my patient waiting in the empty pool, Momma is often distracted by poop patrol and does not fill it with fresh water quickly enough. So I have trained Mango to make his pathetic baby sounds to remind her that I am thirsty.

I am also working on teaching Momma to distract the beast while I enjoy my red Frisbee from Brind 'Amour as you will see in this short movie.

Did you see the way she throws the Frisbee? The things I put up with...

I will tell you that the RH is a BIG BULLY who is only interested in toys that I am playing with. See him here making faces at me?

This is him "playing" with the Frisbee. Hey! Don't wear yourself out, big guy.

I am doing pretty well training momma to work on Mango's "dance moves" while I enjoy myself. Here he is executing the complex sit - stay (duh - is my bottom on the ground yet?).

Leaving me to do what I love!

We're both happier when Momma thinks she's in charge.

Dexter done!

P.S. It appears that Momma has instituted a "turn off your computer day" on weekends. This combined with some nonsense called "end of quarter stuff" at work has limited our visits to our pals to an alarming extent. I am so glad that you are sticking with us and leaving comments and I have been promised once the "dreaded housework" is completed that I might actually get some computer time. One can hope.


C.l.o.v.e.r. said...

Hi Dexter and Mango!
Thanks for the tips on how to train parents!! I am definitely going to have to figure out how to rig a coffee to my back to get my mom to get up earlier and play with me more.

Maytag said...

Wow! I was watching your video. One of those black dogs lives at my house and he has a pool just like yours. But my goodness! What was that giant creature playing with the dog? I have never seen anything like that! It must be a dog, I guess, because it likes water too. I try to avoid water, except for drinking.

Shmoo said...

The things we put up with in training the humans. It is very tiring work and they never seem to retain any sort of training for more than 5 minutes. I think that perhaps you need to abandon the "positive" training and perhaps go for a good clawing. Although they don't learn, it is fun to watch them squeel and move quick.

(how cruel, the word verification is: cookey)

Stella said...

You guys are doing great and soon you will have the DOH in perfect shape.

Keep up the good work!


Abby said...

Hi, Dexter...

Thanks for the tips on training the Mom...

She does not take me on near enough walks...I think I saw one of those Dunkin Donuts Cards laying around here somewhere...I'll have to take a walk down there for donuts & a Box of Joe...

Abby xxxooo

dewdana said...

Glad you are finally getting somewhere with DOH! Dunkin DOnuts are definitely high value treats though so hopefully she does not go Cracker Momma on you when you use them. In her defense on frisbee throwing, I wonder if the gob of Mango suds did not compromise her grip or cause it to fly unevenly?
We hear you on the busy stuff, you have not missed much on my blog!
Moose + Dana

Randi said...

Dear Dexter - aka my little cublet...

You are sooo very clever! That's why you are my cubby boyfriend..clever & CUTE! What a combo!

No news yet from the vet...the tech said on Friday it could be 48-72 hrs to get results back...I say..HURRY UP!

I'm feeling all your cuterest good vibes are working well!

Love & Licks,

Lorenza said...

If I follow your tips maybe I would be better trainer than my mom is!
Fresh water from the pool!
Have a great sunday!
Kisses and hugs

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

No worries...My tree is still in My Front Yard...

My Mom had forgotten to charge the camera batteries (I knew she would) so I had to use an older picture of my Dad working...

I'm telling you...My Mom is very absent minded now that she is getting "older"...

Abby xxxooo

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Not. Allowed. In the Sleepy Room? Gah!!! Call ASPCA IMMEDIATELY. How can you NOT be let in the Sleepy Room?!? Mom and Dad are just lucky that they bought a big enough dog bed that TaiChi and Bufus and I are willing to share it with them (As long as they don't take up too much room, and don't try to kick me when I want to sleep.) I think DOH has Lost It.

Don't feel too bad about the Frisbee throwing - my Mom throws like a girl, too. I think it's why I like the squeaky bouncy balls (that she can sort of throw) rather than the Frisbee, that goes pretty much like yours.

Keep up the work on training the DOH - it takes a lot of work and patience!!!

*kissey face*

Rufus, Indie (and Anita) said...

We can't get enough of your posts!
We are glad to hear that Dexter's training is going well!
Rufus and Indie

Joe Stains said...

I am getting more and more interested in this training thing you are doing Dexter. I am clearly the clever one in our house as well so I might start some exercises with my Mom.

Peanut said...

I have to train my mom and Peanut like that. It is hard. I have to say Dex that we seem to have a lot in common. I will go after the hose like that and also my big stripey brother is a huge bully who always tries to take away the toys I want to play with.


Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow donuts!!! that is brillyant!!! i do not think it wood wurk on my mama tho as she is not so fond of donuts but maybe i can loor her with sushi!!! ok bye

Dannan and The Girl said...

Donuts! I will have to try them in my attempts to train The Girl. You are doing a great job training Momm and Mango, Dexter, keep up the good work! Wroo!

The OP Pack said...

Great work there, Dexter, Mom will catch on eventually. Maybe it takes so long to fill the pool because you drink too much of it:)

woos, the OP Pack

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

I hope you're able to watch the video soon. I uploaded it to Blogger instead of YouTube because it's faster, so it may be Blogger's fault.

Jackal is only forty pounds and I'm like five foot ten so I don't have to worry about him pulling me over or anything LOL, so I figure its safe to attach his leash to my belt.

Honey the Great Dane said...

Hey Dexter - if you think that Frisbee throwing is bad, you should come over to my place and watch my human TRY to kick a football! I swear - I could count the number of time her foot actually made contact with the ball on one fact, once she kicked so hard into the air above the ball, she flipped over and landed on her back! (sigh) So I have to wait until Paul is free before I get to play any decent football retrieving...

It's a good thing they invented those long plastic arm things to throw tennis balls as otherwise, I would NEVER get to retrieve anything when I go out with Hsin-Yi since she has never managed to throw anything further than 1 foot and never hit anything she aimed at!!!

Ooh - I LOVE that photo of Mango doing his Sit Stay...his eyes look so beautiful and he looks so happy! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Tank woo fur sharing all that!

What a full post!

Good thing my head khan handle it all!


chicamom85 said...

Wow Dexter, there is much to be learned from you. I may have to try that getting my Mom up early thing, but somehow I don't think that one will fly around here. I love the donut thing, now that she will get into for sure. Mango good job on the crying for water thing, I have used this method many times with great success.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

Liffey said...

Looks like you are doing a fine job on training everyone Dexter. You are a muchus smartus dog!
Liffey's licks to you

Maggie and Mitch said...

Drinking out of the hose has us both very intrigued! We gotta give this a try!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Noah the Airedale said...

That's a very interesting post Dexter. It seems to me you have that household under total control.
As for the 4.30 wake up call.....pawfectly acceptable matie. Just keep going into the sleepy room at that time and your mamma will get used to it.

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Life With Dogs said...

Let me just say that I would be happy to enter the Dexter walk training program! Free breakfast works for me....

wally said...

You guys are excellent trainers. My ma ape needs one of those turn off the computer days but she neglects my blog too much already. We get up the same time as Dexter but we go for walkies before breakies. We use the same poking method.

wally t.

ps. My ma ape was admiring your garden boxes.

Brind'Amour said...

Keep at it you guys, training your mom is a slow process but it will happen one day! One day............


Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

good job training mommy - we have our mommy trained very well - so well that she actually took us for 4 - 1 hour walks over the weekend in the rain. this took alot of work - pitiful looks and whining at the door to accomplish - but you are on the right path

good job getting mango to help out too

Woodrow sweetie mj

The J.A.Z Pack! said...

Hey Mango! We would love to play Paw it forward! Let me know what I need to send you and lets get our game on!

Mack said...

I think that is a great idea about waking the peeps up at 4:30.
I just know you will have momma trained in no time.

P(ee)S: That donut idea is brilliant!

Anonymous said...

hey, my w.f is "sybiling" - is that mangoanddexterspeak for "sibling"?

really neat photo of you guys that was nominated for "photo of the month" - action (aka play) photos are THE BEST, aren't they?

take care!


Martha Basset said...

We are very impressed with the training Dexter and Mango!
You will soon have these humans shipshape getting them up nice and early too.
We loved the idea of donuts!
Our mum thinks a no computer day is essential but finds it hard to keep up now that we have got so into the dog blogging!
Martha & Bailey xxx

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Mom would say you 2 are pests.. Of course Callie does the same thing in the middle of the night. Waking mom and wanting to go outside.. Mom says it is ok at least she isn't doing her business on the floor.. Maybe someday she will be big enough to hold it all night?? We can only hope...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Daisy Dog said...

4:30? are you nuts, even dunkin do-nuts and coffee won't work that early dude!

Petey said...

Mango Man!

Seems like Dunkin' Dexter is doing a great time training the Dotty Old Hen. Hey, I met a Relentlessly Not-as-Huge on the street the other day and I didn't go all "Cujo" on him like I sometimes do with large dogs. I think it's because I've been watching you and the Labradork on the 'pooter.

Your Pal,


Moco said...

You are truly one very clever labradude.

Cookie and Cinnamon's Mum said...

Cinnamon loves drinking water directly from the hose too. That is the freshest!!

Yes, we always enjoy learning something new when we do training for Agility or any kind of tricks!

ocmist said...

We know what you mean about training your humans... Just be patient. We even managed to get Dad and Robert t-shirts that have a picture of a corgi and they say "Professional Human Trainer" on it. Keep up the good work, but I would lay off the REALLY early morning awakenings. That's a good way to end up being locked out of the room entirely! OC