Monday, June 8, 2009

Munitions Mango Emergency - Squirrel Invasion!

Well, the Dotty Old Hen strikes again. While she blithely declared a "no computer" weekend, and I slumbered peacefully, little did I know that a crisis was brewing in blogland.

Imagine my horror when I logged in this morning to see the following email

Tank said you can send us more artillery in our War on the Squirrels. We are running low and require your most sophisticated arsenal. Please see our report at for what we need. Thank you,
Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

I could not believe it! Surely this must be a hoax!

Then, whilst reading my morning paper I saw this ACTUAL PHOTO from North Georgia!

Holy crap! The squirrels are planning an insurrection or something.

I sprung into action!

The best deterrent for those pesky rodents is a good dose of Mango suds. I quickly got to work making a fresh supply.

I have found that Mango suds, applied liberally to trees makes it impossible for those relentless rodents to climb, subsequently leaving them helpless on the ground. Just look at this ACTUAL PHOTO of a recent experiment I performed applying Mango suds to half of the trees in the forest.

I had to get my most powerful weapon where it was most needed with great haste!

But Georgia is quite far outside the Rt. 495 force field. I needed to use my emergency transport.

I'm on my way!

I stopped in PA to pick up my right hand dude, Scruffman. On the way, I ingested huge amounts of livers thereby increasing the amounts of Mango gasses to lethal levels. I told Scruffer to grab his blowtorch and light it up.

First strike!!!

That should give them something to think about.

Meanwhile, the Lacie Beast has shown uncharacteristic self-sacrifice by volunteering to go undercover to infiltrate the extra top secret Squirrel High Intelligence Training House. Good luck, little gal, don't forget to bring some nuts.

From the way Stanny is looking at her, I think that disguise must be quite convincing.

Back in Master Chew Sits, Pee-Wee volunteered to start a freedom train of Mango suds to deliver all around the country.

Now I know you said not to send Pee-Wee, but the little guy wanted to help out.


the big guns are headed straight your way!

I am loaded for squirrel!!!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Dozer and Coop said...

Mango you ROCK! We will be waiting for your arrival, meanwhile we are entrenched and embedded and embroiled with the enemy. If you don't hear from us it is because our lines have been cut.

Over and Out, Dozer

Anonymous said...

Oh My! mango! That is quite the arsenol! Love the helmet, its quite sexy!

Anonymous said...

Okay - you've officially made up for your tardiness. I think you and Dozer both deserve some kind of prize. When Scruff lit the blowtorch, I was laughing so hard I cried... yeah, that's right. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And Mango suds are on the way... alleluia!

Stella said...

Go Git 'Em, Mango! We will anxiously await your report.


Amber and Nala said... crack me up! If anyone can get those squirrels it's you Mango! :)

Thanks for the laugh!


Randi said...

OH MY DOGNESS...that mangosuds are good for everything!

If there are fires here in SoCal again this fall, I'm calling on YOU to put them out with Mangosuds!

love & licks,

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I am So In Awe! Your airlift. Your blowtorch. Your train (that you have so generously lent to Pee-Wee). And your helmet! (And the tank!!!!) That would be General Mango, right?!? (Heck, I might even suffer through Meatless Mondays if it will help the war effort!)

Lucia said...

Ciao enorme Mango!

Oh, oh, oh...!!! I had to put la mia ragazza on emergency oxygen because she laughed herself breathless over your postie!! YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF!!!Magnifico, Mango!

Tanti baci!

Lorenza said...

Your are Da'Man!
Kisses and hugs

Moco said...

You have met the enemy and it is squirrel.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay it luks like yoo hav the sitchooayshun wel in hand heer so i wil tel my minyuns at the doghowse of justiss to stand down!!! ok bye

Martha Basset said...

Oh Mango
Thank goodness we have you to sort things out!
You were very brave being airlifted by the helicopter. Bailey fainted when she saw the picture of you with your hat on!
We are doing our best to guard the perimeters in Scotland.
Martha & Bailey xxx

pam said...

Oh my goodness. This had me laughing out loud till the end.

Bobo and Meja Mommy

Molly and Taffy said...


We think you have the squirrel invasion well under control with all the artillery you have in place.

We are making notes, just in case we encounter the same problem here in the UK, hope that is OK?

Ummm, just one question does your slobber have a "Sell by date?", If we need some could we call you to post a few tons of the stuff? We just want to make sure the magnificent slobber is still fresh and effective should we need it.

Molly and Taffy

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Mom thinks maybe she's still asleep and we dreamed this one...

We'll have to chekhk bakhk later and see if it was real!

PeeEssWoo: The Lacie Beast underkhover? Then again, they both make lots of noise!

Liffey said...

You seems very prepared Mango. And I am gld to have seen some pictures of these squirrel things cause I ain't ever seen one. Are they really so evil and nasty??
Liffey's licks to you
Ps- Tell Dexter to be careful! xxx

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

You are the Master...

Those squirrels don't have a chance...

When you are done in Georgia, do you think you can drive that tank north to New York?? I could use some help here, too...

Abby xxxooo

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

With you in charge, the world will be squirrel-less soon.


Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...


Gus said...

Oh is so clever of you to enlist Lacie's help in this. I bet if she makes that screechie noise really fast, the squirrels will be fooled. Or is the plan to use the dreaded nut smoothie on them?

gussie d

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

There is no way the squirrels will win! Go get 'em Mango!!

Maggie and Mitch said...

You made our mom spit coffee all over her keyboard, Mango! You are such a hoot!
If anybody can take care of those squirrels once and for all, you can!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

wow mango you are so prepared - great job making the suds that was a very informative experiment.

go gettum

woodrow sweetie mj

Rufus, Indie (and Anita) said...

Yeah Super Mango! You show them how it works!
Pawsome post!!!
Rufus and Indie

Mack said...

Good luck big dude with the War on Squirrels!!

I need some of those Mango Suds cause the evil ones are running rampant around our neck of the woods!

GoldenSamantha said...

I think all that prep will definitely help Tank's operations. I knew you could do it! Ha-raaaaaay for Mango!
Hugs xo,

Brind'Amour said...

DUDE! Nobody is going to get past you!!! You the man!!


PS - I like your helmet.

The OP Pack said...

MangoMan, we just knew we could count on you. Mom was wondering if those were some of your Mango suds bubbling out of the fountains at the entryway to our development? There wasn't a squirrel in sight, so you are doing a fartastic job.

Woos, the OP Pack

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said... darling....


And well...I don't seem to smell as fresh as usual....BTW...I don't think tryin' to drown the squirrels is legal???? You might wanna check with PETA??

I gotta admit, Mango...wearin' my bikini with the squirrel head???


Thank you date book was rather empty...I actually had some availability in late that's full too...

But..if MJ ever has a cold or something...and you need an escort...I will always make room for you, big guy....

Mumsie's dyin' here....I think it was the pic of the trees that did her in...

Barkin' at ya sweet boy...and lotsa love to the Peewee!!!!!

Love and kisses...Laciegirliebeast

Nibbles Treats said...

I'm glad your gaseous self is on our side!

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Tom, Tama-Chan and Sei-Chan said...

Phew! That is a seriously exhausting post...

Sorry you found the last photo on ours today disconcerting, Mango. It is one kitten sitting between the paws of a slightly larger kitten who is facing the other way, which is why the limbs and head don't match all that well!

Aniemother said...

Wow! That's some serious effort!


LUCKY LUKE said...

That is about the funniest thing I ever saw!

Love the Mango suds, too!

wif love from the Luke

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

You are right...

It's time for the Heavy Artillary...

Love the helmet...

Abby xxxooo

Cookie and Cinnamon's Mum said...

Yay, keep it up, Mango!

Chef said...

Mango, you're so up to the job. If I was a squirrel I sure wouldn't want to get in the way of your toxins. No way are they going to survive this operation.

By the way, I hope you're not aiming your fumes and suds towards Quebec. I actually want the squirrels in my yard so I can chase them away. But if the situation gets out of hand over here, I'll beep ya.


Anonymous said...

After all that, I don't see how the squirrels can possibly win. I love the trees picture - too funny!

See ya!

Kess And Her Mama said...

Those squirrels don't stand a chance!

Asta said...


Those squiwwels don't stand a chance,,Bwilliant plan wif the suds on the twees, and you look supew dashing in that pif helmut. I had no idea Lacie had self sacwificing in hew, but I'm twooly impwessed how you all wowked togethew. scwuffy seems to be enjoying that blow towch a little too much..I'd watch out, hehehe
Excellent wowk by Pee Wee ..he's weally leawning fast
smoochie kisses

Huskee and Hershey said...

Oh dear.. so it's all out war against the squirrels now, is it? I saw some during my walkies last Sat and thought they kinda looked cute, but hey, anyone who is Mango's enemy is my enemy too!

ocmist said...

We got left way behind on this squirrel thing, too, but have now joined Tank's war. Dozer is the one who clued us in, but we should have known you'd come through BIG TIME!!!

BG usually does CPR on Dad's chest to get him going in the mornings, but this time he had to take care of Mom cause she couldn't breathe! Maybe he should be a medic? What do you think?

Sadie and I are old hands at dispatching squirrels as I'm sure you remember from some of our blogs! Dott

Life With Dogs said...

And I thought the a squirrels stood a chance. I forgot the suds factor!

Petey said...


Just let Lacie DATE the squirrels and they're sure to back off. So are the charms of our little Mata Hara Terrier. As for extra nuts, check out the Dughallmor beagles today. I'd say they have more than enough to spare!

Your pal,


Sophie Brador said...

Mango! I just hung out with my buddy Whisky, who one put holes in my head, but we're cool now, and he has been catching squirrels in the park and killing them. Really. With his very own mouth. I wonder if maybe he has a secret stock pile of suds that he isn't telling me about.


Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

UN-B-lEEEEv-able!!! This whole thing has Hootie so excited he is now looking for squirrels to use some of your Mango Suds on. I'm a peace loving girly-girl, so will only sit in the side lines and cheer. GO MANGO!!!!

Mango Dude, out of sight! I feel so many of my natural instincts kicking in. Now I'm thinkin' that little bun-bun was just the beginning of the ferocious Welshie that is moi. Bring on the squirrels!!
Your Compagnon d'armes, Hootie

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

ps-Almost forgot. That Lacie is just TOO funny for words. What she won't do to help out some pals!

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Wow Mango those squirrels don't have a chance with you on their trail..
That Mango slobber will definitely do the trick..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Anonymous said...

Mango, that had to be a supersized tank to fit your big bodacious self into! Go get 'em!

xo :)

Dewey Dewster said...


I expect ta see a mass exodus of squirrels after they get wind of yer intentions and get a sniff of yer weapons....geez the sniff alone should send 'em packin'....but after they're gone....who will bury the nuts so all the trees will grow????

Dewey Dewster here.....

Agatha and Archie said...

As Joey would say Holy Crap who knew?? We must join in with you guys to stop this invasion( we have been doing a good job around here, just look at Pl's right arm it is way longer that the left from when we see THEM.......Keep us posted... Love A+A

Joe Stains said...

OMDOG its an all out war! You guys will certainly be victorious with those weapons!!

the TN Bull Terrors said...

Great idea Mango! If the tree rats get in those suds they will probably be stuck in place forever when they dry! Awesome 2-way weapon! We just hope LacieBeast doesn't start DATIN those tree rats! You know how she is!

Feather, Darla, Pappy & LizzaBella ^..^