Thursday, July 9, 2009

Momma has Gone STUPID

Oh HELP! I fear that the trainings class in the windowless bunker is just a ploy for the work place to suck the brains out of momma's head. She told me she is learning the statistical data analysis and came home with words like Poisson and Binomial and Lambda all spinning in her head and making her feel woogy.

She has gone too stupid to even visit my pals with me (thank goodness she is still able to help me read comments from my faithful friends). The only bloggy I got to visit was Murphy Dogg (which seemed to at least give her a brief, lifelike appearance).

Whilst in the windowless vault, she got a TORNADO WARNING email and rushed outside to see the evil dark clouds and BIG RAIN for the second day in the row.

I suggested breaking out the picture box to take some photos of my large and handsome self to clear her tiny brain and, well, see for yourself...


This morning about 4:30 AM, Pee-Wee sounded the alarm and went madly out the back door and momma swears she saw Bambi in the next yard over. I don't see any Bambi.

My packages arrived today to Paw it Forward to my pals, but that will need to wait since I do not trust her with scissors in her weakened mentals condition.


I will endeavor to encourage her to commence sleeping early tonight. They lock her in the vault very early in the morning, so there is not the usual "wake up" time. But then she keeps staying up late reading the Dennis Dada book, "Oh Mango, just one more chapter." Sure, whatever.


Sigh...

Can I come and stay with one of you for a while? And can you look around for a brain transplant donor, cause I think we will need one soon.

Here, at least, is a picture of my face. You can see how dejected I have become.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I have been promised that normal brain function will be restored by this weekend and I will be able to catch up. I am uncertain.

39 comments:

Winterdark said...

I think it would be ok if you came up to our place Mango.

This dungeon training has to end sometime for your Mom. What she needs is sunlight. She needs to play int he yard with you and Dexter. At least that's a start.

Paws crossed it goes better today!

Bolo
http://peiinthelife.blogspot.com/

Martha Basset said...

Oh Mango
Please don't despair - our mum also has these 'episodes' - they usually return to their former selves given time.
It does seem to be a condition peculiar to human females of a certain age..........
We ourselves have thought of looking for a replacement - but well you do get kinda fond of them even though they are completely bonkers half the time!
You are right not to let her get hold of the scissors or indeed any sharp objects meantime.
love and solidarity
Martha & Bailey xxxx

Mack said...

Lilly is very brazen and INSISTS you come stay with us and sleep in her crate.
There may be a small problem with space though.

Anyhoo my mom just finished a two-day training at work and her brain is fried too (worse than usual!)

Tank said...

Sounds like you have a very serious problem there Mango. I wonder if there is a hotline you could call for help... some sort of dog neglect agency who would investigate your situation. How can you possibly live like this much longer??? I feel for you. As for a brain transplant... you wouldn't want any of the brains around here put in your momma. That would just make things much worse for you. I'll check the classifieds in the local paper though.

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

You sure put up with a lot from your loco Momma! Don't you hate those tornado warnings? At least it sounds like she's in a safe place if one does hit. You can come stay with me until this weekend if you want. Surely my Mom wouldn't have the heart to say no once you showed up at her door. :)

Jackal

Gus said...

HMMM...INTERESTING, my muzzer has gotten progressively worse in RETIREMENT. Heavens! what would happen if she had to be trained for something new. The thought boggles the mind.

Meanwhile, come stay with us. There is plenty of room in the big bed.

gussie

pam said...

Oh dear Mango we wishes you could come here. But our Mommy says yer Mommy wouldn't let you stay furever. And we'd just get our hearts brokeded.

We love you though, lots and lots.

Bobo and Meja

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Hi Mango,

Its funny that your mommy is getting stupider from the one thing that is supposed to make her smarter. She is some kind of crazy opposites person. If you let her watch ooodles of reality TV it would probably make her a genius.

xoxo
Pumpkin

Brodie and Ailsa said...

We donts gets to see many other dogs or peoples cause we lives outs of town, You can comes and stay with us Mango, spect you would have to bring Peewee to buts thats ok we gots lots of room and he cans chew some of my toys so I cans have new ones.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Woo are welkhomed to khome to Pawsylvania...

If the state khan support Lacie's butt, we khan certainly handle woo!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Mom is skhreaming with flashbakhks....then she started babbling FEMA FEMA FEMA and DOE DOE DOE

Princess said...

Oh Mango! I hope your momma is back to normal soon for your sake. And that your weather improves too.

~Princess

The OP Pack said...

Those training sessions can be brutal, Mango, cut her some slack. Mom says Poisson means fish in French - so maybe there could be something good in this for you.

Tornado warnings are not good - we get those here in the summer too but so far they have all missed us.

woos, the OP Pack

Dozer and Coop said...

I think you should call the ASPCA and tell them of your condition. There must be a law against being with apes without brains. What happened to the male ape? Isn't he picking up the slack? Turn him in too.

Love, Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

Deetz said...

I feel your pain Mango. It seems the humans brains are invaded by aliens during the summertime months, instead of helping us visit each other. I was just telling Abby we should find a way to get all our mums to retire, so we can play all day and catch up on each others lives. I am so glad I got to see your face.
High Five Mango Man
Deetzy

Moco said...

No help here big guy. The crazy old bat is sparking on less than the DOH. I fear for all of us if something is not done soon. Do you suppose being struck by lighting might help them.

Jake of Florida said...

We understand, dear RH -- the bigger our Mom's hair gets from the humidity here in South Florida, the smaller her brain seems to get. And she is beyond training!!

We would welcome you here too -- you could have a whole room to yourself -- but your fur might get curly and expand like hers (and ours) does when you went outside...

Drop in anytime. (We don't have tornados very often -- but we do have Hurry Canes that sometimes spawn them. Fortunately, none so far this season.)

Jake and Just Harry

Nicole said...

Oh Mango! I hope your momma has returned to her usual self soon, if only for your sake!

Nibbles Treats said...

Be patient with the DOH. The older you get, the mind is the first thing to go.

Lots of treats,
Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Chloe and Libby said...

Wow Mango, hope she comes out side to get some sunshine soon. Maybe all will be better by then.
You could always come visit us.
Chloe

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Ohhh. My Mom was trained to do that statistical analysis stuff (and still sometimes does it for Dad with his business, and says that she is having 'fun' - proof that statistics will rot your brain), and I think I'm really lucky that she retired before her brain turned into a gelatinous mass of goo. If you see anything leaking out of the DOH's ears, become Very Worried. The fact that she can't use the flashy box anymore is the first sign of Impending Brain Jello.

You are always welcome here - Bufus has even offered to share his floor of the house with you and you'd get a Super Big Dog Bed all to yourself (Mom and Dad are a little afraid that you might not fit on ours, and they'd end up sleeping on the floor, so you can have the one upstairs). You might need to bring along a little kibble money though, if you need to stay for a while, as Mom isn't sure that she can afford to feed your Relentless Huge self for too long, and Bufus doesn't like to share his cat food.

*kissey face*
-Fiona

Aniemother said...

Hope your mom gets her brain back soon! At least now I have my mom back, brain or not.

B

Brind'Amour said...

Mango, dude, you can come and stay with us anytime you want!!! Aimee wants to know if she can ride you like a pony? That girl!.......

Wiggles,
Brind'Amour

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

Please come stay with us - it's not raining here. Our Dad would absolutely love you and we have a new pool. PLEASE PLEASE

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

PS - and we'd share our DOH with you too.

Saint Lover said...

Lookin good Mango Man! Has momma got you on a diet? Hopefully those rain clouds don't leave behind a fog in momma's brain indefinitely!

Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

Mango you can come visit us bullies in NY anytime - we have a mango sized doggie door (1/2 a door) and we can go in our yard all day long - pee wee can come too we can stash him with Daisy and Cody (yellow labradorks) at mommy's friends Ritas.

good luck on the brain transplant

woodrow sweetie mj

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Our Mom gets that way too. You just need to put up with them when they are like that. They will snap out of it soon.. Perhaps nice Mango kisses would help?

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Asta said...

Oh Mango Man
I can see the weight of this sitooation on youw noble bwow. I hope the pwomised bwain function will wetuwn by the weekend..smoochie kisses
ASTA

Ludo van Doggy said...

oh yes, that do sound like she having her brain sucked out! I hope it true that she be better by the weekend!
~lickies, Ludo

chicamom85 said...

Mango I really got to see "all" of you in that second photo and Wow. Enough of that, my Mom says yes she would love to have you come and play with me. She wants to know just how big we can expect your "droppings" to be so we can prepare the yard. Next you must promise not to try and pick me up in your mouth like a toy. We also need to know just how much you can eat in one sitting, I am guessing quite a bit. We will try to have provisions ready. We do have a large back yard and several neighbors your size, one a St. Bernard and a Great Dane. Let me know if you can agree to not eating me and we will make plans for your arrival.
licks and sniffs, Sasha

Peanut said...

Mom says come on down. Then we can play

Maggie and Mitch said...

Please come and stay with us, Mango! Tomorrow is my birthday and there will be birthday cake and ice cream and pizza, not necessarily in that order!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Agatha and Archie said...

OK action is necessary..Hop on the train,take it to Fenway Park.We will meet you there and we can go to a Red Sox Game...providing there is sun....Love A+Awe can eat as many fenway franks as we want...

Cookie and Cinnamon's Mum said...

One more day and the weekend will come! I hope you will have a lovely weekend with your mum who hopefully has restored her normally functioning brain!!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Sounds scary what is happening to your Mom!
You can come here with me while her training finishes!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Life With Dogs said...

There is room for a visitor up here in Vermont - but trust me, we can't help with the brain thing - out two-legger has never located his own...

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow tornadoes??? i hav herd tornadoes can tayk yoo to the mithical land of oz can yoo let me no if that is troo? I mite want to send my brother tucker their ha ha oh also dada sez thank yoo to yore mama for reeding anuther of his buks!!! that wun she has their is his sekund favrit of the buks he has ritten or so he sez hay dada how can yoo hav favrits amongst yore buks that wood be like having a favrit amongst yore dogs and we no that yoo dont!!! wel i meen eksept for me!!! ok bye

Joe Stains said...

I love you buddy but DO NOT COME TO ARIZONA! you would melt into a pile of relentlessly huge goo in our heat!

Diamond said...

Oregon is very nice lately. Not too hot or cold, not much rain. Brother and I would love to have you visit. I'm sure Mom and Dad wouldn't even notice.
The picture in your header is very handsome..that could easily be in a magazine!

ocmist said...

Dad says to tell you DOH that he has to attend a "Safety Meeting" early in the morning every two weeks that has absolutely NOTHING to do with safety in the area he works in, and he feels like THEIR brains are GOO!!!

Robert says that your Mom's brain must really be having problems if she is safe in a dungeon and COMES OUT when there is a Tornado Warning! (As you can see, the whole family now has to have your blog read to them whenever Mom visits it!)

We've got plenty of room, but no big doggy swimming pool, and it's been really hot here. Still you are welcome here anytime, but Mom says she would be hugging you a lot and that might end up bringing out Mama OC's green eyed monster... Mmmm... BG