Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Party Over the Big Pee and BETRAYAL

What a week! I forgot to mention that over the weekend I went across the big pee to attend the stag party prior to Petey's wedding. It was a total blast (in spite of the whole ballroom incident).

Photo courtesy of Eric

You can read all about the party here.

I must say I was a bit miffed when momma announced that she was going out with Pee-Wee last night and leaving ME home ALONE again. But when she said they were just going to stupid obedience, I wasn't bothered. Who wants to do that?

I've tried it and it is BORING.

Not to mention that doing a SITSTAY when one has a head as large and dense as mine can be very hard work!

Head getting heavy... must hold head up for sitstay...

So I told the midget to go have fun at his obedience because I, Mango, did not need to go. After all, I am the master of the DOWNSTAY.

But upon their return I checked the flashy box to see how the little dude was doing and discovered..... THIS!

Whoa! Check it out! The Pee-Wee totally tricked me.

Well, this is not a boat accident!

Um, wait a minute, that doesn't sound quite right...

OK, got it.

Well, this is not an obedience class!

This is playtime with some automaton stuffie creature and it looks like tons of fun!

The squirt said the little stuffie thing was called an Ass-Ton and that it ran around and made cool squeaky sounds.

Look at that egghead doggie. She wants an Ass-Ton too but I guess Pee-Wee and Momma were being piggies and keeping the black and tan stuffie all to themselves.

Apparently the Ass-Ton is battery powered.

Here you can see momma's uber geek friend from work replacing the batteries (yuh, those geeks always have a supply of batteries and thumb drives and whatnot in their dopey fanny packs).

Momma claims that the Ass-Ton is an actual doggie and not a automatic battery powered stuffie, but I know this can not be true.

No doggie could possibly be that small.

What do I look like, a fool? Sheesh!

The horror! The betrayal!

Look at the labradork all having fun with his special toy when he is supposed to be practicing his sitstay and downstay and (gasp) loose leash walking.

No wonder he is such a doofus.

I decided right away that I needed to get an Ass-Ton for myself.

But when I googled ASS TON on the internets, all I got was THIS!

Did ever a mastiff suffer as I do?

I am left alone with my one armed monkey while the Pee-Wee gets to play with his Ass-Ton stuffie.

Sigh. Is there no justice?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Noah the Airedale said...

Tell me that isn't Lacie's butt........She wont like that!

Don't you worry Mango mate. Why would you want to play with that little Ass-ton when you can stay home and relax. We think Pee Wee got the raw end of the deal.

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Winterdark said...

We agree with Noah. You had your monkey all to yourself. No threat of Pee-Wee mangling it. Take heart Mango, She owes you an outing now - with a car cookie.


Mack said...

Lilly looks kinda like AssTon. I can send her over if you like. But she doesn't squeak, she growls.

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

Poor Mango! Not fair at all. You should plot some revenge on the Labradork and tell us all about it. You know for justice and all that, not our entertainment. We wouldn't be so uncaring to take advantage of this situation. Nope. Good luck!

Gus said...

Teka looks kinda like Ass Ton, but she is white and brown. She squeals. She can whip Dexter into shape. You should have seen her with my pal Travis!


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

The Ass Ton google has filled my floofy head with THOSE sounds!


PeeEssWoo: I think woo are furry good at all the proper akhtivities and then some!

Brodie and Ailsa said...

woo Mango, Maybe you'll go for a big car ride soon, you don't need obediance , obediance is for dufuses who dont know whats they supose to do, now yous know whats to do. sleep, eat, meditate,sleep, slopper, play, sleep now what else is there to learn.

Pamela, Kira and Scampi said...

Wooo Poor Mango. The pee we had fun with another toy and you stayed home? I always like going to school, even if it is down stays and sit stays, because I get lots of cookies, but I have never seen an Ass ton either, we don't have that toy at my school.
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

No justice at all.

You need to come help us get our Mom up - She is rolling on the floor - and where is her butt??

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Hmm, if you Googled "ass ton" and that was the only picture you found, consider yourself lucky ...

Pedro said...


Jeesh! If you think that Ass-Ton is small you'd be really shocked by my size. The thing about me is, though I'm physically small, I do not see myself as being any smaller than you! Mom says this flaw (what? flaw? no!) is bound to get me into trouble and she always has to watch me around other, um, larger dawgs... I think she's secretly scared that I will hurt them...


Ludo van Doggy said...

Same Aston with the jacket?
You really need to meet him so you can find out for yourself Mango, maybe he stuck in eternal puppyhood?
~lickies Ludo

Brind'Amour said...

You poor thing.... at least we all know what to get you for your next birthday!!!!


Amber and Nala said...

Oh my, we can't stop laughing but NOT at you Mango! How horrible to have your lot in life! What a trickster that Pee-Wee is.....maybe you can sneak along next time when they go to "obedience class" ;)


Holly and Khady said...

We call those little things "chew toys" or "yappitizers" at our house. They squeak really loud it you pick them up.

Next time they do that to you, destroy something. That will remind them that YOU need to GO along too!!


Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Oh Mango are you in for a tongue lashing now! Miss Lacie will not think your little google look up is so funny. To quote some other wise dog: Be afraid. Be very afraid!

It does look like PeeWee ran off to have a good time without you. The folks did that to us too, but brought home treats so we forgave them. At least you had your orange monkey to play with.
WelshieHugs, Hootie

Ike said...

Maybe you should start misbehaving so you can go there!

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

But that little Ass-ton might have nibbled on your Relentlessly Huge toes, and that might not have been too much fun. And would certainly have taken away from the enjoyment of it all. I think you were better off staying at home practicing your 'downstay'!

*kissey face*

Chloe and Libby said...

You deserve an outing Mango! You ARE the master of the down stay! I love your monkey, he's pretty cool looking!

Lacy said...

w00fs, hmmm, dat Dexter is a flirt..girlies come and go, but u cant beat a dependable orange monkey..

b safe,

Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

unfortunately mango it is true - our cousin is an ash ton too - her name is jayna - and aunt chris calls her a min pin whatever that is - woodrow has investigated her throughly and she does not have batteries - but she does pee everywhere. and she is very bratty and bites our ears and we drag her around.

cool egg headed doggie in the pics what was his/her name


GoldenSamantha said...

Bummer, Mango. The Ass-Ton actually does not look like that much fun - I think your mom did you a favor, as you got to hang out with the one-armed monkey and have the estate to yourself. But it's unfortunate that the Pee had to lie about where he was headed. Don't trust labradorks, but you know that.
Hugs xo

Martha Basset said...

We are looking forward to having a dance with you at the wedding.
We heard what you got up to at the stag night but what happens in Scotland stays in Scotland!
See you Saturday.
Martha & Bailey xxx

chicamom85 said...

Mango I don't get why you don't take advantage of the time alone and break into the treats, cause mischief, go wild. Find your inner Mango! I don't really understand how you make those trips so fast and then get back home, but I hope you have fun at the wedding and try not to get caught in any ball pits. I don't know how to tell you this, but I only weigh 13 lbs and I am pretty sure I don't use batteries. If I did, I don't want to know where my Mom would put them.

licks and sniffs,;SAsha

Honey the Great Dane said...

Mango - I would tell Pee-Wee to be careful coz I was attacked by one of those Ass-Ton's in the park a couple of years ago and he was really nasty! His owners were even nastier and when I tried to defend myself, they called Animal Control and claimed that a big nasty dog was attacking their poor little baby! (huh? I was minding my own business when he came up and went for my throat!!) - They said that big-sizeed doggies like us had no right to defend ourselves against small-sized doggies! Talk about size discrimination!! No wonder these little Ass-Tons have such bad attitudes if they live with owners like that!

Anyway, I'm sure Pee-Wee's friend is probably nice - I have met some nice & friendly Ass-Ton's but sadly, a lot of them are ruined by their owners...

Honey the Great Dane

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

I swear...I can't believe how they treat you...

Abby xxxooo

Eric said...

Geez Mango. You thought your life was bad without an Ass Ton...and being upsidey down in the Ball room. Crickey. It just got a whole lot worse. You're never going to believe this. Ok. Down. Stay. Rest that big ole brain box. Reeelax. I read over on Petey's that the ASS TON says she is going to MARRY YOU.. Ok and breeeeeathe, now easy boy..NURSIES WHERE ARE YOU????????

Worried wags Eric xxx

The OP Pack said...

Hmmm, we must not be very smart, we never heard of an ass-ton. But we think you are much better off being at home in your cave in peace with your monkey. Enjoy it while you can.

woo, the OP Pack

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Sure Dexter had fun with that "doggie toy" but I agree with the OP Pack. Much better to stay at home having a good time with your monkey!
Kisses and hugs

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! My Mom and Dad got me a monkey that looks Just Like Yours (except my monkey has two arms... For now... I just got him today...). He looks much smaller next to you than he does next to me, but I like him anyway!

*kissey face*

Hoover said...

Oh Mango! You makes me laugh.

But, HEY wait a minute. There's another batter powered dog??!?!?!

I don't think so. The batteries don't go in the mouth. If ONLY it were that simple!

Hang tight Mango. Your time out will come.

Sit on Pee Wee!

Hoover BPD

Moco said...

You won't have to worry about gettin an Ass Ton when a certain terrier looks at that one picture. You had better practice your hiding skills.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Hi Sweetie...!!


River said...

Looks like Peewee was running around on stones. You wouldn't want to do that. Better to stay home and be cool with you one-armed monkey.

love & wags,

Cookie and Cinnamon's Mum said...

You are a master of Downstay!! Let Dexter do other activities and you improve the art of what you do best!

Lacy said...

w00fs, hmm Mango, i hears u iz getting that hot little lady, Lacie...

b safe,

pps, heehee take lots of strength pills to keep up wiff her..

MJ's doghouse said...

mango one should never complain when he is home alone with his relentlessly huge can labradork to drive you nuts...besides i gotta a tonnass right here for you big boy....hahah

Asta said...

What gweat news..I knew that you couldn't wesist my BFF constantly have hew on youw hoomoungous bwain, now you've done it..I'm suwe you'll be vewy happy togethew, hehehe
smoochie kisses

Tee said...

say ... that ass-ton dude looks like a mini-Anna ... i wonder if they are related ..

LIcks and wags

Tuffy and the Dog Woods Pack


Hi Mango,

You are much better off with your one armed orange monkey. Then little doggies can be least the one I used to know was.

We just got the floor plan for the Reliant Dog show and guess what. Guess what!! There is a group called Friends of Rescued Mastifs that are gonna have a booth there too. I'm so excited. I've never seen a mastiff on person before. I wish you was gonna be there cause I'd give you a free kiss.


Dewey Dewster said...

Uuuuummmmmm Mango,

I hate ta tell ya but that was not a stuffie that Pee Wee was playin' siree.....'n there are doggies that are even SMALLER than that one....hard fer a Giant ta believe....isn't it ????

Dewey Dewster here.....

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

Head getting heavy... must hold head up for sitstay...

Deefor said...

If that Ass- ton stuffie came to my house I'd lock the door. Relax and be glad you're alone and have some peace. Arrow wants one now.


Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Oh Mango that is just NOT right. How dare she get Pee-Wee an ASS-Ton and not the Mango Dude?
Perhaps a nice drooly kiss is in store for mom..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

That is not fair Mango, that Pee- wee gets to go play and you stay home with the one armed Monkey. We say....Protest Mango!!

Holly & Zac...XX

wally said...

Dang, Mango. THat happens to me, too! My brudder goes away and comes home with eau de other dog on him. Just because I open up a can of whoop ass-ton on any dog who looks at me sideways I can't go? WTF? I don't even have any teeth!

wally t.

ps. my secret password is oodummmi. who do you think that is referring to? Or just a statement about labradork brudders generally?

pps. Wevs, your orange-tang rocks.

Joe Stains said...

I am a small dog, but that is no way a real dog, I agree totally! Sorry you were betrayed, I can't believe your Mom tricked you like that. Dexter wasn't working AT ALL.

Oh and uh sorry again about the ballroom thing.