Monday, August 31, 2009

I am an Uncle (to a labradork)

Apparently my new nephew, Oliver, has arrived in Master Chew Sits.

Now I can hear you all going, awwww, the cute little puppy, but I want to remind you that puppies are only cute so that you will feel bad about eating them because they are total pains in the buttocks.

First they invade your territory!

They disturb your meditations.

What is so fascinating about my bottom anyway?

They get rewarded just for pee'ing in the yard instead of inside. Duh!

They live in boxes where they keep most interesting toys that you are not allowed to have.

They eat three times a day and then still steal your foodables!

Look! He is stealing my toy and I am supposed to just take it!

And giving me disrespectful stares.

Sometimes you need to just bitey them!

And stuff them behind the refrigerator (which causes the people to get all mad at you).

Puppies always try to rub their puppy stinks on you with their constant touching. Gross!

In light of my most deep and insightful thoughts on annoying shark toothed puppies, I was forced to cast an objective eye on the photos of my baby self with Beautiful Raja.

I had heretofore thought that she was gazing lovingly upon my most adorable puppiness...

Now I am compelled to admit that she does look kind of pissed off.

So as annoying as Pee-Wee is, I am relieved that he is no longer one of those puppy monster things (even though he still tries to touch me sometimes).

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Blueman here.. I agree puppies are pains I had to endure 2 deaf ones...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

dewdana said...

Yes it is a cunning ploy that puppies are so cute! Your cousin has mastered this ploy too!
I also have to agree after biggifying the pics that the most beautiful Raja looks quite pissed off! On the other hand, after watching videos of you as a pup, you look much more restrained and well behaved from the start, at least when compared to labrasharks!
Moose + Dana
p.s. the pic of pee wee on the stairs is about the most adorable thing we have seen in awhile! I wish I had baby pics of my Moose!

Sam said...

See Mango? What goes around comes around.

Marge agrees, though, that puppies are highly disturbing creatures. I can't think of too many that she actually gets along with.

pam said...

Oh Mango Man you have to admit that the PeeWee was cutey's. Andandand Raja tolerated yer cutey's.

So in all fairness -- yer the big guy - what do you think is fair???

Bobo and Meja

Heather and Pumpkin said...

I think labradork puppies are much more annoying than mastiff puppies.


BRUTUS said...

We are still laughing at the thought of you stuffing PeeWee behing the refrigerator!! Did he come out with dust bunnies all over him?? Big, monster dust bunnies live under our fridge - don't know if I'd make it out alive if Mason stuffed me back there!

Oh, and my mom just FINALLY figured out "Master Chew Sits" is the name of the state you live in. Duh!! Humans, so dense sometimes (plus mom is blonde, and I've hear that makes things worse)...

Brutus the Frenchie

The Thundering Herd said...

Puppies are so intolerably cute and they crawl all over you and chew on your ears - but you do get to stuff them under refrigerators.

P.S. - Since the last comment had us laughing about the human figuring out your state, our word of the day is malbsta. Is that a mobster from Master Chew Sits?

Randi said...

Oh Mango! Are you becoming a bit of a softie? That puppy pic of your little nifty nephew OLIVER is just one of the cutest ever..of course, not as cute as you ooglie eyeing the great Raja & you are right, she does look a bit PO'ed!

Can't wait to see you & Dexter & Oliver all in crazie zoomie action in the yard...& THE POOL!

Love & Licks,

the professionals said...

nice one mango man i keep telling ya you have a soft and gooey side for sure - b & c are thinking of getting me a kitten... i am not sure whether i should be scared or not... maybe you can go visit my bloggie and let them no your wise advise on the matter...

Eric said...

Congratulations Uncle Mango. Oliver will be just like Pee Wee. Cute. Even you were cute as a puppy Mango but crickey- puppers with flaky Lakie? Sheese has the hot weather done your brain in? Pop into Pee Wee's secret garden to do a spot of meditation huh?

Wiry ones Eric xxx

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

Guess you shouldn't look at our blog today.

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I wonder if Opy knows Benson J Puppypaws is missing!


PeeEssWoo: BTW, my mom does NOT do running - certainly body parts do not facilitate running/jogging/etc

Anonymous said...

Dear Mango,
Thank you for your enlightening post.
I did not realise what dreadful things puppies were until now.

Before this post I thought puppies were balls of playful fun!

I am sorry you will have to endure another puppy in your life - but at least he won't be living with you this time.

Mr Darcy

The OP Pack said...

Mango, your post today may have just convinced us that we really don't need a puppy around here either. Your memories were quite powerful:)

woos, Phantom and Goose-nose TD

Kess And Her Mama said...

But Mango, aww...puppies are cute, albeit pesky at times. At least you showed them who's boss!

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

I love the pictures of you and Raja!! Too cute! I was wondering if you were gonna mention that you were once a puppy too. Can't get anything past the super intelligent relentlessly huge. I do have to admit though that the picture of Dex eating out of your raised dish is adorable. :D

By the way, please tell Dexter that I tagged him for a fun game. He can do that on his next Dexter Day. I won't ask you to give him special time on your blog or anything like that. :)


MJ's doghouse said...

i am so with you on the puppy front Mango...if I never see another puppy my life would be were a puppy a few years ago...and if you were never a puppy...i would never have gotten to see your most handsome self...sooooooooooo..what to do ....

1000 Goldens said...

Mango, even though Dexter liked to rub his puppy stink on you, I have to say he is one of the cutest puppies I have ever seen. You're Labradork nephew has some big shoes to fill!

Opy - the Original GruffPuppy said...

Oh Mango - I SOOOOO know what you mean !

Puppies are a real PITA !!!



Dutch the Pug said...

BOL a labradork!! Your right mango the only reason puppies survive is due to their cuteness!

Duffy said...

I was a pup just a few short monfs ago and I can't believe I was ever other than completely agreeable and adorable. But I'm not sure my sissy, Asta, has the same opinion.
Thanks for visiting my blog.

Mack and Sally Ann said...

You are correct, very very correct.

chicamom85 said...

Mango, he is pretty cute, actually adorable, Peewee was too. I love the pictures of you and Raja, you were the cutest baby ever, great ears. If he comes to visit you will have someone else to bitey face, that might be a good thing.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

Agatha and Archie said...

Our main man,you have to admit he is kind of cute...and the thought of you stuffing PeeWee behind the frig has you know who rolling on the floor...As for Raja?It looks like she is going to snap your head off......Tell your Momma that PL1+2 have been to the Garden in the Woods and they were eaten up alive by1000's of GIANT mosquitos( but said it was lovely)

Stella said...

Aw, come on, Mango . . .tell us how
you REALLY feel about puppies.

Myself, I like them and want one of my own.




It pays to be an only child. Think it over.

Lorenza said...

I agree with Norwood!
Kisses and hugs

hero said...

Hi Mango,

Puppies are cute and hoomans will go gaga over them... you have to accept the fact that your attention quota from hoomans moving forward will be much less, unless you can scheme something up to redeem back the attention.

Licks, hero

tula said...

uh..congratulations Uncle Mango?! little labradudes are trouble- point well made and with photographic evidence. better get your paws on Oliverpup before Dexter..& his labradude ways.

Thanks for the well wishes. no lymes here. basically a sore big toe calls for even more meditating! and drugs (pain relievers- rimadyl).


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

TaiChi will agree with you that puppies are a real pain in the ass. Me? Erm. I'm still basically a puppy, and I'm not a pain in the ass at all. Not. At. All. (TaiChi here: I TOTALLY disagree - Fi was kinda cute when she was SMALL - small enough that I could ignore her, but now? The big lunk will Lie On Top Of Me. Hello?!? I'm 16.5 lbs. She's like 500.) Hey. I'm a very svelte 60 lbs. And Mom thinks we need another puppy around here. (TaiChi here again: yeah - so you will Leave Me Alone So I can Enjoy My Golden Years, you big bucket-head!) *ahem. I love my little big sister, and I know she loves me. She's just fragile....

Anyhoo. I'll have my very own puppy in a few months - and I'll let you know how it goes...

*kissey face*

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am shoor that beeeyoootiful raja wasnt pissd off at yoo she wuz probly just .... ummmm .... wel akchooally yeah she duz kind of luk pissd off!!! ok bye

MAX said...

Mango oh Mango!
It seems you are wisening up and acquiring a variety of perspectives nowadays! That, my handsome lad, is a sign of true wisdom!
We are really impressed since we were under the obviously wrong impression, for a while at least, that your view was one-dimentional and that this view was the complete and utter short-circuiting of Pee-Wee.
Congratulations my man!
Lots of licks

Joe Stains said...

He looks like Benson J. Puppy Paws!! oooh boy good luck with that one. I am glad Tanner was almost 1 when he came here.

Life With Dogs said...

You remind me of the classic childhood argument about a sibling being "on my side."

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Mango, I don't care how much you grumble and make faces, you are a pushover!

Clive said...

Mango, couldn't agree with you more! Was out on Sunday in the grandparents house and the little pup next door came visiting! I have no time for pups that crawl under my belly and want to play!!

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hey Mango,
At least after your puppy grew up, he is still smaller in build than you.. MY puppy grew up to be doublel my size and weight.. SIGH...
Your new nephew is adorable!!

Mack said...

Mom is over here going all "ooh and ahh". I have to admit though, Dexter sure was a handsome puppy.

And Raja was indeed beautiful!

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

My Dad has been thinking about getting me a Puppy Playmate...

After reading this, my vote is NO...Well, it was NO before reading this, too...

Abby xxxooo

K8 said...

We love puppies! Especially when they aren't near us...

Our friend MJ told us all about the dogs with blogs so we are doing the rounds to check them out. We think yours is great!

Sam and Pippen

dewdana said...

Congrats to you too Mango! I admit I did not vote for you in the pro category b/c I knew you were going to clobber (or slobber) the competition and wanted to at least encourage the others!! I hope you are not offended. I did of course vote for the beautiful Raja though!
Say... what is this topsecret blog you have? I know it would not be top secret if you told everyone but still? Is it a no labradorks allowed thing? Maybe Pee wee should have a top secret blog that is just for labradorks ;-)
Moose + Dana

Nibbles Treats said...

Major Puppy Cuteness!!!

Dory and the Mama said...

Oh Mango, I do agree with the whole puppy thing...It was O.K. having Uncle Puppy in the house...but he WAS a little annoying...PLUS, he demanded ALL the attention...I am kinda glad (happy, happy dance) that he had his
Gotcha/Name day yesterday...and is GONE!!!

Not sure if I am going to like the puppy in the house thing next year...

Good luck with that little ball of fur!


Martha Basset said...

Hi Mango
We hear all those things you are telling us about puppies.
It is no use though, our mum took one look at Oliver and fell in love!
Well what has he got that we don't!
We hope he is not going to get all the attentions just cos he is cute.
We think you will make a great uncle and you looked very cool in your hat!
Martha & Bailey xxx

Maggie and Mitch said...

You are so smart, Mango - yes, puppies are cute what what pia's they are! UGH!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Tee said...

hehehe - yes puppies are cute in a sharp toothed kind of way.

Love the photos of Dexter as pup and you as pup!

Licks and wags

The Dog WOods Pack

Biggie-Z said...

Momma thinks PeeWee's puppy pictures are cute, but I agree, behind the refrigerator is a perfectly good place to stuff them. Especially the labradorks. Why else do you think they are called labraDORKS??

Besides, even though Raja looks a little bit annoyed at you, you were being much more deferential to her than PeeWee was to you.

Sigh. Sometimes you just have to ignore them. Kids.

Mollie Jo and Bobo said...

Mango man we feel your pain. Jack was just as bad as your labradude brother. We tried to bitey his face when he gave disrespectful stares, and tried to take our foodables but momma said no.

I think you are right with the thoughts that "puppies are only cute so that you will feel bad about eating them because they are total pains in the buttocks."

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo

Oskar said...

My mom person keeps talking about "getting me a baby brother". This post makes it seem like I don't want one!!!

I will let her know right away.

Woodrow, Luna, MJ Campanella said...

woodrow here -i am with blueman and mango puppies are pains - and i had the whole deaf issue 3 times now and 2 stood in my house - they do get better - but i dont know abour labradorks - our friends are labradorks and still act like .... dorks

Woodrow - Sweetie - MJ

Honey the Great Dane said...

Oh my God, Mango - that was the most gorgeous post!! I can't believe all those pictures of could you not love him??!! And YOU! Oh my God! (Although I agree - I could almost see Raja lifting her lip in the first photo! :-) )

I have to go against the grain here and say that actually, I love puppies! OK, you might need to give the odd one a warning growl here and there for disrespectful behaviour (like submissive peeing & belly-up grovelling...eeeeeuuuww!) but overall, puppies are great because they just want to play and often have no fear (of me!) When most dogs run screaming to their human "mommies" at the sight of me or give you suspicious stares and snarly "back offs" just because I'm big (hey - not my fault I didn't stop growing!), it's quite refreshing to have something come tumbling up and crash into my front legs and look up at me and wag its tail and squirm with delight and try to play with me - and have no fear at all!! :-) Plus they all like to lick my drool and clean my chops for me! :-)

(sigh) I think puppies are great! Of course, maybe that's because I've never had to live with one. Hsin-Yi says it's like human children - always nice when they're someone else's and they go home at the end of the day and leave you to your quiet, peaceful and tidy - child-free - house!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Marjie said...

Honey the Great Dane told us about you! Thor rules a one-dog household, and, of course, that dog is a Mastiff. I'm sure you know that Mastiffs are not really dogs, but extremely hairy humans who happen to walk on 4 feet. We certainly enjoyed your pictures with the "labra-dork"! Excellent nomenclature, too! Mango is just beautiful.