Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mango Torture

Before I start, my pal, Max, could use some good vibes. He is waiting for tests to come back from the V-E-T to find out what is wrong with him. Please visit and wish him well.




Now, as several alert readers observed, I was left totally stranded yesterday with nobody to help me. I did manage to finally extricate myself from that most awkward position and am now suffering most grievously from a sore neck.

To make matters worse, the Lacie Beast stopped by to nurse momma back to health. I suspect that just the site of her scared all the cooties away. EEEEK!



But now I will share with you how I am being tortured for no good reason.

Possibly the people have caught some kind of madness due to extreme heat frustration.




Because when I arose from my morning slumbers, my patio had been moved on top of my observation deck!




Worse still, the stairs leading to my yard were GONE!




Fortunately, with Pee-Wee's assistance, I was able to locate them and make my way down to go about my business.





But to my complete horror, when I went to go back up, a force field had appeared on the stairs!

Yes, my friends, the Mango was trapped! How to get back inside? What will become of me?




Pee-Wee was not bothered as he rarely uses the stairs to go up...



or down...




But I, Mango, am not some airborne dirigible. I must have stairs.

And so I began my harrowing journey to penetrate the evil force field. I have made a documentary. I warn you that it is quite disturbing, but I must share it as this could happen to YOU!

View at your own risk by clicking here.


To my chagrin, in my quest to conquer the stairs, I neglected to complete my toilet and once again found myself TRAPPED!

Oh save me!





Mango Man! Oh yeah!

50 comments:

Ike said...

OMD! What are your parents doing to your house? Have they no respect?
Ike

Gus said...

That was terrible. It made my tummy hurt to watch that inhumane mastiff torture. And clearly Pee Wee drank all the water! Poor baby.

kisses
teka

pam said...

How you live in that house of horrors we'll never know.

If we find Master Chew Sits on the map we'll come save you.

Bobo and Meja

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

That was furry nice of woo to stage that just so your momma would have material fur your bloggie!

I mean I KNOW woo are brilliant and khapable of khomplex problem solving inkhluding spacial relation khwestions!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Maybe a monitor with one of Pantyloon shaking videos streaming would help?

misskyliem said...

Mango!! That seems like you need to call the SPCA to investigate. I called my Mommy and Daddy over to the computer to show them both, in hopes of preventing anything like this happening at MY estate... and they just wouldn't stop laughing!! Can you believe it?! I'm sure it wasn't at you though... right??

Licks,
Kylie

The Thundering Herd said...

Mango, that was just, well, just - what is the right word - horrifying. Yeah, that's the one I was looking for.

Randi said...

Awww Mango! I am appalled to see such horrific Mango Torture happening at the estate! I think we DWB-ers need to petition for a Mango Escalator for you...or maybe a Mango Elevator...

POOR MANGO!

Love & Licks,
Randi

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

How many times have they moved those steps??

Now the Mango brain...no matter what Khyra sez has not processed the fact that they've moved 10 times before..plus there's now a hooge hole that ur paw might get stuck in....

I actually feel sorry for ya Mango...I'm thinkin' if you performed your TOILETTE on the deck they might put your steps back and leave them be????? Though that would give momma somethin' to leave on the counter for Master???

Love and kisses..

The Beast...

I do look attractive in that pic...Scruffy had just told me the elephant joke bout the fridgerator...hilarious!!!

MJ's doghouse said...

oh mango..you really are quite fabulous..good work with that force field...only the mango could do that....

BRUTUS said...

Poor Mango... So close, and yet so far from the safety and comfort of your observations deck. And all the perfectly good slobber wasted on that stupid forcefield! Were you worried your RH self was going to fall through that little hole as you went across? That like fitting the proverbial camel through the eye if a needle!!

hero said...

Way to go Mango!... you manage to conquer the stairs force field eventually. That's a huge effort there... what are the humans thinking! sheesh...

Licks, hero

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

How rude of your humans to move your own personal stairs from its original spot!! And leaving that huge death trap gap that you could fall through!!!! They should be punished! You were right to be very careful with that dangerous gap.

Mollie Jo and Bobo said...

Oh My! What a dilemma. I guess there is an advantage to being small.

Hopefully your pawrents will come to their senses and quit moving things.

-Mollie and Bobo

Ms. ~K said...

You won't believe this, but while we were watching your great video, the same tune was playing on the Weather Channel!!!
How cool is that???

Stella said...

Don't you wish you could go to your pawrents bedroom and move the bed and tables somewhere else. Go to the Kitchen and move the table and chairs. Go to the Master's Workshop and move all the tools somewhere else.

THEN and only THEN will they understand what they did wrong!

Kisses,
Stella

River said...

Some video! That music was perfect! I think you're right to be careful. They are making things dangerous for you!

love & wags,
River

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Again?? What they are thinking??
You need to have a serious talk with them!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Lily and Benson said...

Oh Max, we have our paws crossed for you
Benny & Lily

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Mango
Did that movie have a "P" rating. P for pathetic. I was yelling jump jump then thought I should yell step step. I read out my paw but you never grabbed it.

norwood

Brodie and Ailsa said...

Oh Mango, That was devistating, I coud feel your pain ans I was so scard yous was going to fall whens you kept turnin round. and that gap, you coulds of fallen throu its. Buts mang, i don care whats any of them they says, you are brave boy cause you sensable nough to see the dangers buts you persavered and conquerd.

chicamom85 said...

Mango, thank you for telling me about Max, I will head over there to wish him well. The power of the paw is amazing.
I have a few theories on the deck. First I must ask you did you see any hose near by. I suspect this is an alien torture trick. If you come out tomorrow and its moved again, please be careful and don't let them take you. I think they might not have a space craft large enough for your enormous self, but they might take Dexter. Next have you seen any Poltergeists?? Sleep with one eye open, it might also be an explanation for the horrible chair sticking incident.

licks and sniffs, Sasha
p.s. We hope your Mom is feeling better and with her well.

Bae Bae said...

Poor Mango. I hope someone helps to untrap you soon

~ Bae

MAX said...

Oh Mango...our sympathies are with you! You are some dog!!!
Lots of licks
MAXDOG IN SOUTH AFRICA

Tom, Tama-Chan and Sei-Chan said...

We think the only solution to all of these terrible problems is to tae a nap, Mango!

Ruby Bleu said...

Oh Mango!! That is just horrible!!! You can see the total fear in you relentlessly huge eyes!! Sure hope you are not stranded there furever!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Niamh said...

There is far too much destruction and construction going on at your estate Mango! How confusing and upsetting. You need to do some serious meditation to calm yourself after all of this.


Your friend,
Niamh

Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

I dont know Mango - that was kinda scary - and you looked so sad - poor mango - you would think Pee Wee would help you

Woodrow - Sweetie - MJ

Kess And Her Mama said...

I think that you're going to be able to dig your way out of this predicament. After all, you're the top dog!

Brind'Amour said...

Mango, what ever did you do to deserve such torture? I can't imagine you did something so bad for your humans to cause such unimaginable pain by putting up a force field. Dude, come to my place. We have no force fields.

Wiggles,
Brind'Amour

Martha Basset said...

Oh Mango, when will these humans learns that we dogs do not like change for the sake of change.
They are turning your world topsy turvy - we don't know how you put up with it!
Mango you may have to relocate and you are always welcome over the pond with us.
love
Martha & Bailey xxx

Molly,Taffy and Monty said...

Mango what a distressing few days you have experienced. We do hope that everything is back to normal for you soon, in the meantime just FORCE yourself to climb those steps at double quick speed then you wont notice them so much.

Molly, Taffy and Monty

Biggie-Z said...

Mango, that is very stressful. Your humans must be going through some Addled Less Sense or something to keep changing things around like that. Your movie was a horror movie. Good thing it was time lapsed.

I think you needed to make more slobbers to counteract the force field.

Hugs
Biggie

Mack said...

What the........?

Dude, you're gonna need some A/C pretty soon!

Life With Dogs said...

Looks like you could really use a construction site staple - a porta potty!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay obviusly yore parents ar fortifiing the howse in preparayshun for the impending zombee apokalips this is a gud thing!!! otherwise they wood be relying on yoo and dexter to defend them and beleev me zombees tayst terribul!!! or so i am told!!! ok bye

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

Poor, poor Mango! Does the torture never stop at your house? Our new bones for aggressive chewers are: Home Grown Harvest Chews by UltraPET. Their phone number is 1-(877) 473-2759 or you can go to www.ultrapet.com. We don't know how much they cost 'cause Mom bought ours at a yard sale for 50 cents each. We got chicken, bacon and lamb flavors. All are very yummy!

Aire-hugs,
Poppy, Penny & Patches

Jake of Florida said...

We could hardly bear to watch. Even though you triumphed at the end, the psychic torture was beyond what anydog -- especially one of such magnificent relentlessly huge proportions -- should have to endure.

We have no stairs outside, so you are welcome to come stay with us.

Jake and Just Harry

Dory and the Mama said...

Poor Mango!!!! Did your humans not share the construction contract with your attorneys???

Smileys!
Dory

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Mango, that was some serious slobbering you were doing gettin' up them steps! We hope that the force field has been disabled by your momma or dadda. Those things can be furry fierce.

Deefor said...

That video made me so nervous. Glad you made it. It reminded me of the first time I had to walk the spiral stair. But my mom was relentlessly mean and tricky by putting treats in front of me and yanking me on the leash. Great job Mango. Tell them you need pieces on hot dogs on the steps.

Deefor

Maggie and Mitch said...

Yeaaaaaaaaaaa, you made it, Mango! Did you hear us yellin', "you can do it - you can do it!"?
Next time it will be much easier!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Brownie said...

OMD Mango, that is inhumane! What confusion! Are your hoomans ok in the head? Thank goodness Dexter showed you the stairs one way! Urk!

Nibbles Treats said...

Hahaha That was funny! Utter confusion! Nice hanger too, by the way!

Lots of treats,
Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

BRUTUS said...

Hey Mango-

Thanks for pointing out the less-than-complimentary angle my mom posted of my behind. I might not be tall, but I'm just muscle-bound, not pudgy. Let's just say that she & I have spoken about this, and it won't happen again!

Snorts-
Brutus

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

That is just not right for those humans to trap you like that. We can feel your pain...


Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Agatha and Archie said...

Really that was awfull But you know what the worst part was??DID YOU SEE YOUR BROTHER SMILLING INTO THE CAMERA AND PARADING 12.000 TIMES IN FRONT OF YOU???? we think you need to do something here...but what we are not sure of..Love A+A

1000 Goldens said...

Mango, I think Momma must be trying to work you over with some crazy new agility routine? Not funny! Dexter seemed to be patiently offering you some encouragement though.

wally said...

Oh Mango I was SO NERVOUS there. Whew. I am relieved you made it (and relieved yourself in appropriate places).

My dorkabrudder is like your brudder and likes to propel him onto things like onto our screen porch. Through the screen. Ma ape is not so pleased with him. Good thing SOME of us have manners.

wally t.

ps. My ma ape says she is not deterred one bit by watching the massive amount of suds produced in your mouth and dripping onto your steps and she STILL wants to smooch you. I don't know about her.

Dewey Dewster said...

Mango...I gotta tell ya that picture of Lacie is downright scary.....frightenin' in fact.....sheesh, I may never sleep again after that seein' that image....

What were yer people thinkin' changin' yer world like that ???? I bet if ya report 'em ta the mastiff police, they'll get arrested fer sure.....why yer whole estate is destroyed.....ya need ta get yer kingdom back in order again...

I can see ya were havin' trouble figurin' out those floatin' steps there....I bet yer P's thought they could get rid of ya that way....glad ya showed 'em ya were made of better stuff than they thought ya were. But.....mmmmmm, what was that stuff comin' outta yer mouth when ya were calculatin' the distance ta get ya up on the deck ???? Looked a bit slimy.....fer sure.....

Hope the estate gets back ta the way ya like it....'n soon.....

Dewey Dewster here.....

Joe Stains said...

Did they not submit a building permit for your approval first?? I am so perplexed how you could let this happen!!! I was so sad to see you on those stairs, terrible :(