Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Awards and a Query

I got this nice award from Jazzi and Pumpkin

But before I talk about illicit foodable consumption, I want to lodge a complaint regarding kibbles.

Why is it that if the Pee-Wee weighs 80 pounds and the Mango weighs 230 pound (or thereabouts), the midget gets four cups of kibble every day and the Mango only gets eight?

I mean I am totally three times his size which means I should get, let's see, four times three, about... 47 cups of kibble each and every day! It doesn't seem fair, am I right?


Not to mention that momma is always pinching me to check for too much Mango. As if!



She says that I need less kibbles because I am something called lethargic and can be found meditating about 20 hrs. out of the day.

Lethargic? I think not! I am just starving to death! Look at me. I cannot pull my should be larger self out of bed.




But I digress...

The Mango has been accused of eating things which are not foodables on occasion. Such as the alleged sock eating incident where momma watched an intact tube sock emerge from my large and flatulent bottom. But where is the photographic evidence I ask?

Let us turn our attention to the bottom feeder pee-wee.






Here we see actual proof of his amazing swallow skills.

Look! Stuffing from one of momma's chairs.




A big hunk of one of my stuffies! Don't worry, it went through the washy machine before poop detective momma tried it out as a glove.




And rocks!

Clearly, the squirt is much more prone to swallowing things which one oughtn't.


I also got this nice award from little Sasha.





I want to pass it along to Tula because she certainly qualifies as sassy.

I will leave you with those photo of my large and wasting away self from the archives.

This was my entry into Ludo's non-tricky contest which I totally did not win even though this is like the best do nothing photo ever because, I promise you, I am not even thinking!


Mango Man! Oh yeah!

45 comments:

MAX said...

So you reckon you should qualify for the "Oops-Im-underfed" award!? mmmm...is there space for a little more perhaps?! Mango...you must listen to your Mom! Moms ALWAYS knows best!...and Mom seems to be the best poop detective in bloggie-land too! Eish...my mom checks things out from a distance.
Take care and lots of licks
MAXDOG IN SOUTH AFRICA

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hey Mango,
Congrats on the award!
Ummm.. wow.. Pee Wee sure did try to eat a lot of things.. luckily they did not agree with his digestive system and ummm 'came out' eventually.
I totally think your mom is not feeding you enough. There can NEVER be too much of Mango.. I mean how can anyone have too much of goodness, right?

Charlie Daniels said...

G'day Mango

I would go on a hunger strike! You deserve more food! :-)

Cheers

Charlie

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

We're not laughing - and Java totally agrees with you - he thinks he should get 4 times the food that a Scottie should get because he weighs 4 times as much but like you he meditates a lot.

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

The Thundering Herd said...

Too much Mango? How is that even possible? And we really like your math skills.

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

WOoos Mango Man! I totally agree with you on this one. I have the same problem, little squirt get almost as much food as I, but Mom says it is because he runs around in circles all day, while I stay in bed. It is because I am too weak to get up! 47 cups a day sound just about right for me! Good lucl getting that from Mom. And Congrats on all of those cool awards, you deserve them!
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Gus said...

HMMM>..Your math pleases me. If Mango weighs (ahem) and gets 47 cups per day, then by my calculations, Gussie should get 5.5 cups per day. Now I only get about 1.5. No wonder I am wasting away. I am hurryin off to try out the math on the muzzer.

Thank you for the hint.

gussie

Brownie said...

Mango, I need borrow your calculator... the scientific evidence posted on the screen will prove to momster that she needs to feed me MORE!

Congrats on the awards!

Murphy Dogg said...

Okay, let me get this straight, you once pooped a tube sock? That's impressive, dude. Was the actual poop inside the sock as it came out? I'm just trying to get a visual ...

Aniemother said...

I agree - there is no such thing as too much Mango. Another food-and-mango-related thing I've been wondering about, thoug. I have sometimes heard them English speaking folks on the picture box saying the best place to eat mango is naked in the bath. So here is my question: have naked hoomans ever taken you into the bath tub to nibble?

Worried snorts,
Bajas

dewdana said...

Too much Mango? Is your momma crazy? You will be horrified however to learn that Moose gets 2 cups of kibble a day! Even less than Pee Wee! He is what you call 'lethargic' too as an older gentleman but still!
I don't believe I had heard about the tube sock incident! It must have smelled extra tasty for the mango to have eaten it! Clearly the Pee Wee will eat anything!
Moose

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Mango, we realize that it doesn't seem fair that PeeWee gets more foodables than you bur you must admit, we don't see you galloping around your yard furry often☺ Maybe if you brought your movement up a notch your momma would be a little more generous with the meals!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Rocks??? Ow!

ScrapsofMe said...

I agree. You look a mite boney sometimes. I wondered if you wuz getting enuff foodies or if PW was swiping it. I reckon your chef likes to keep you lean for all the fancy schmancy dancie moves you do. You know, the anorexic ballarina look? If you were any bigger, you wouldn't fit under her leggie as it is. Winter is coming, you needs to fatten ups some. Or you will be a frosty Mango later on. Brrrr. Should we all start a collection and send you extra foodies?

toodles,
Bonnie

peesess....The Mr and SHE argue about the amount of foodies we should get all the time. He likes to give us a LOT, so we snooze a LOT....and she doesn't cuz then we poop a LOT and have to go out all the time. SHE thinks we should get like 2 kibbies a day or something. Tiny kibbies.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

YOU ARE COMPLAINING BOUT 8 CUPS OF KIBBLE DAY? I get 2/3's of a cup...Stanley gets 2 cups...Scruffy gets 1 cup...

We are starving. Sure we get additives...cottage cheese, low fat cheese, bananas...cookies...chips...

but seriously....

As for that pic of you doin' nuthin'...that one's easy...

YOU'RE FROZEN....

Winter seems to have come very early to Master Chew Sits...or that pix has been in the freezer for safe keepin'...

Makes my flirty little tail cold just thinkin' bout it....

Brr...

Barkies...
Lacie

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

I see Momma has been going through the digestive expulsions again...even to the point of washing machineing them???

Hmm...

How often does this happen?

Scruffy

Hey Mango...speaking of flatulence...I love it when I um let one sail and then Mumsie goes around to each dog sniffin' to see who flung one...why does it matter?

Do we get credit or something?

Sheeechch....

Maggie and Mitch said...

Wow! You are clearly being hosed on the amount of food you're served each and every day, Mango! Aren't there laws about these kinds of abusive things?!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Stella said...

I think you should up your foodal allottment to 48 cups a day since this would allow you 16 even cups at each of 3 meals.

Good going, Mango, demand it!

Kisses,
Stella

Pedro said...

Holy dawg poop Mango! 230 pounds? Really? I bet your poop weights more than me! I'm usually between 7 and 8 pounds...

Pedro

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

we are not even sure what to say about all of this. A lot to ponder here..
your pal, Morgan

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I thought it was some kind of new math...

Woo SOOOOO need me to pay woo a visit - we'll get that lethargy driven out of woo!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: The Beastie's flirty LITTLE tail???????

The OP Pack said...

I totally sympathize with you, Mango. I am almost twice the weight of Phantom, I am a big-boned boy, even the vet says that. And Phantom is such a skinny boy. He always gets more kibble than I do - doesn't make much sense to me either.

Congrats on the award and tell Dexter to slow down on the inedibles - that could get dangerous.

Woos, Thunder Dunder

chicamom85 said...

Mango, you are skin and bones! The skin is just hanging off of you. I will send foodables by special carrier magic bubbles ASAP. There will be several bubbles since it will take a bit to feed your large self. My Mommy is sending pie also. Please hang on, steal Peewees food for now if you must and if you have the strength. He will be fine, he can live on grass.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Mango by your calculations you should get 12. 5 or so cups a day. Do you know how much food I get a day? One cup of food a day, and Sally Ann eats 1/2 cup of food a day. Plus, I overheard you are going to be a Dracula dog for Halloween, so you don't want to be to big. Please tell your Mommy that my Mommy says "thank you" for the lead for my Halloween costume. She called the lady, and now, I am going to have a costume, yeah.
Mack

Asta said...

Mango

I had no idea that you wewe a math ma titian
What you say makes total sense to me, but then I could eat all day non stop if possible..hoomans awe cwool sometimes..I only get two cups of food the whole day..it's a wondew any of us can move.
I'm amazed at the Pee wees eating habits..I could undewstand pizza, and steaks and fwuit even, but sofa stuffing?
not even wif sauce
Hope you get some sustenance soon
come to Opus' pawty..thewe awe faboolous edibles fow us thewe
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Clive said...

Can empathise with you totally Mango! I am on such a strict diet here - the cat gets fed more often than me!!

Can't believe all the stuff Pee Wee eats!

Your Mom is great - checking all that out!

take care
Clive

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Congrad's on your awards..
Mango you do need all that kibble to keep your Relentless large figure in tact..
we love the doing nothing picture...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Tiffany and the Munchkins said...

Hi Mango! Congrats on your awards! We sometimes eat non-foodables too. Mom says its a nasty habit. We wish we got as much food as you guys!!! Mom only gives us 1/4 cup per day! She's starving us too I tell ya!

Chihuahua kisses,
The Munchkins

Honey the Great Dane said...

Eeuw - Mango - I can't believe the things you and Pee-Wee have swallowed!!!

My human is also always worrying about my weight - you should see what I have for my meals! Barely enough to floss my teeth with, I tell you! But my human is SILL always checking my waistline from above (she says you should be able to see a waistline on all dogs when looking from above and she worries that I look too straight tubular instead of nicely hourglass) - she's also always checking to see if she can see my ribs when I'm moving and if she can feel my last 2 ribs easily...apparently, those are the ways to tell if us doggies are the right weight! Plus she has some mad idea that all dogs should be slightly hungry - something about "keep 'em lean, keep 'em keen" - so we do better trainings and stuff...hmmm

Still, I suppose us being such big doggies, it's easy for us to carry extra weight without people realising it so it's probably good to be careful. Otherwise, if we're too heavy, we can get sickies in our joints and hearts and stuff...!

I like doing trainings, though, coz when we're doing a lot - like when we have a performance coming up - then it's like I get ANOTHER whole meal through my treats! Hee! Hee!

Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

tula said...

Your momma does the pinch test? Yikes..( hope noone sees this & gets funny ideas.) I mean you have to keep up your rentlessly huge title-and your regimen seems to be working. what's not broke?? right?!

Wow! a sassy award pour moi?! is it the brooklyn or bostonian side.. hmmm fuggeddaboutit-

click here for a special message!

belly rubs,
tula

tula said...

redo--

try this one:
click here one more time:)

TwoSpecialWires said...

First of all, we want to acknowledge and thank you for recognizing the GOOD that came from the Girls' Slumber Party (as you call it. It was really so much more than that!) Secondly, we are quite impressed with your calculations, but are grateful that someone else doles out the kibble. You'd be bigger than Paul Bunyan's ox if you ate as much as you figured. Moderation, Mango. Everything in moderation.

Love ya, Big Guy (Oops. Our paw typed Gut, then changed it.)
Jake and Fergi xxoo

The Army of Four said...

Does anyone actually have irrefutable proof that anypup consumed those things? Seriously.
Tail wags,
Storms

hero said...

Hi Mango,

You are the math genius... and momma must compensate you for the loss thus far. Love the pic of your relentlessly huge self slumbering... errr sorry, trying to get up from bed.

Licks, hero

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

I'm with you Mango! My mom starves me too. She feeds me about a cup and a half to two cups a day. I weigh a whopping forty pounds!! Can't we petition for a one cup per pound ratio?? Wouldn't if be great if I could eat forty cups a day?!

Sigh
Jackal

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Your maths and my maths are different!
Haaaa!
Well, nobody said that Dexter has a gourmet taste, right??
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Dutch the Pug said...

Mango your momma is pinching you. When my mommie tells me I'm putting on the pounds I like to stop her mid sentence by farting. I bet you could make a doozie!

Sam said...

Marge agrees fully with the notion that you should get more food, simply because she loves food so much..

But my goodness! 230 pounds! I know the weight comments must get old after a while, but I honestly didn't realize that that's how big Mastiffs are. A whole lot to love, Mango!

MJ's doghouse said...

Mango I am pretty sure that in that last photo you were posing for the red carpet...Tyra does that pose...super cool...and i THINK YOUR mom must be underfeeding you.....what is she doing...trying to turn you into a freakin greyhound...eat baby...eat

Mohd Anuar said...

I find this website is quite interesting, you might want to pay a visit.

How to Train a Puppy, Puppy Training Tips and Techniques for All Dog Breeds

Yip Weng Tim

Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

Hi MANGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
WOOWOOOOOOOO!!!!!
You contact us????!!!
OMDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!
We're sooooooooooooo honored!!!!
We love your adventures and you and your family!!!!
You're great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A blogger legend!!!!
We're lucky to have known youuu!!!
Can we add your blog at our friends' list???
HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!
Sure we'll visit you often!!!!
HAve a great day!!!!
Tons of love and kisses!!!!
The 3 Italian Bros!!!!

Dory and the Mama said...

Whoah, something is VERY wrong...I only get TWO THIRDS OF A CUP of kibble a day dude....

I need to talk to the chef!

Smileys!
Dory

Nibbles Treats said...

Mango, please remind your momma that you are not fat... just big boned.

Lots of treats,
Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Oskar said...

Anyone can see that you're just wasting away!

Joe Stains said...

I definitely think you need more food, Tanner did the math and its more like 59 cups of food. Maybe you just need a trough??