Friday, October 9, 2009


So I'm minding my own business and talking to my next door neighbors through the fence and kind of getting some loving from them and all of a sudden that dumb Oliver comes all poking his face in mine and trying to get into my space.

Naturally, I had to go big dog on him and try to teach him some manners and OK, well, maybe I was a little rough, and, well, maybe I sort of let my toofer clip him and maybe there was a little blood, but was this really called for?

Before I even had a chance to explain myself, the animal cops were knocking on my front door and totally arresting me! Huh?

The Mango was most unceremoniously dumped in the slammer.

Oh look! It's my pal, Brownie!

Then I was taken into court where some pee-wee midget court appointed attorney awaited me.

The Mango is guilty of NOTHING!

The trial was quickly underway and apparently the state had been able to collect many witnesses to paint a most horrific and untrue picture of my large and I didn't mean to hurt the puppy self.

First up was the BEAST herself! I am surprised they didn't have to clear the court with all that shrieking!

Then they called Pumpkin who I must say appears to be holding some unhealthy resentments regarding our recent date.

I figured Pee-Wee would vouch for me after all I have done for him. But even he did not have any kind words.

And finally the little drama queen himself appeared. Oh, all is lost!

And the jury deliberated for like about 30 seconds before appearing with their verdict.

This court is rigged, I tell you!

And the judge slapped a restraining order on my large and ever so neglected self. Now I am not allowed to even enjoy my yard if that little yellow monster is out in it.

I insisted that we stop for a car cookie on the way back from the courthouse and none of that taking it back out of my mouth this time. You can see here the result of my argument with Momma.

Just give me the blasted thing! The Mango is most stressed out!

I decided to stage a protest when we got home. Ha! If he can't be out in the yard when I am there, then I am NOT coming in! Not even for hot dogs! Not even if it rains! That's right! See what you have done to me.

Look at him! Momma wanted to get a photo of his terrible "wound" but he would not hold still because he knows what a big faker he is.

Oh, there it is! A tiny little scratch on his precious muzzle. You might even have to bigify to see it at all.

The brat is getting special playtimes that do not include the Mango!

The funny thing is, I actually like the little guy and want to play with him, but I get confused when he picks up my toys or gets too close to momma and he won't listen to me when I warn him to back off.

Has it been five days yet?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

that is me Mangp--glad you like my legs! saige

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oops--i meant MANGO!!! oh my gosh--they totally over reacted. now you have a restraining order. you need a new didn't even get a chance to defend yourself. i mean, did they even take your handicap in consideration? it is not like you are quick on your feet or anything, how is a deep thinking dog like yourself suppose to collect your thoughts together so fast??? RETRIAL!!!!!

The OP Pack said...

Poor Mango, you can't help it if he is still too small. We know you like him, we could tell from the video yesterday. That court was so unfair and totally corrupted by bribes. We are sure you can figure it all out and play nicely together.

Hope your five days go by quickly.

Woos, the OP Pack

BRUTUS said...

I declare a mistrial. They jury was obviously biased... AND the witnesses coached.... And the plaintiff was in contempt....

At least you got a cookie. Maybe you'll still be acquitted....

BTW we think your momma is fab with the photoshop. My mom tried to use it today to help with our post & got all flustered. SHe says it's impossible, could you give her a few lessons??


Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

At least you're not the one in jail!!

Piper, Carrleigh and Java

doyle and mollie said...

a mans home is his castle mango man fight for your rights thats what i say arf arf

chicamom85 said...

Mango, You have the saddest cry, it kills Mommy, she just wants to give you lovey hugs and kisses. I am sure you didn't mean to bitey Ollie, but he is kind of little so please be careful. It is going to be a long 5 days I think. The trial was totally fixed and you should declare a mistrial. Take it easy Mango, try to be patient with the little guy.

licks and sniffs,Sasha

Martha Basset said...

Mango, you have to Appeal - this cannot be right!
You didn't even have a defence!
What about character witnesses who could explain how soft and gentle you really are.
Lacie was not on your side after that remark you made - you must never mention the size of any female's butt - either canine or human!
Oh no we can't have this slur on your good name Mango!
love you lots
Martha & Bailey xxxx

Rosie said...

Tough Break Mango - a little misdeameanor is not too bad but be careful another one of those and you could be put down as a puppy abuser and other doggie jailmates wont be so nice next time.
Nodoggie likes an abuser.
Best to keep your nose clean.

Brownie said...

Mango!!! COME RESCUE ME!!! I'm still in the slammer and I fear momster's not going to allow a trial!

Chloe and Libby said...

Poor Mango,
Thats ok, sometimes our big guy here gets carried away, well, actually all of us sometimes get too rough with each other. Mommy makes us take us a break or she says she will get the squirt bottle out. We don't like the squirt bottle.
Hope the rest of the 5 days go by quick.

Clive said...

Oh Mango, we feel for you!

Five days is a long time!

take care

Randi said...

Awww Mango! Little Oliver just wants to hang around you cuz your are cool & RH & wants to learn lots from you...he probably is all tired out from Dexter & wants a little R&R with the Big RH - & if anypup knows how to teach R&R - its YOU!

So go easy on the little dude...he's quite the cutie!

Love & Licks,

ps...looks like the jury was a bit biased....

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Woo are welkhomed to khome bunk with me and my special parts!

PeeEssWoo: My word is TERDW
PeePeeEssWoo: My mom is still laughing!

MAX said...

Hey Mango my mate,
Don't worry - it was just a bad dream! When you wake up, you will have your teeth back. I advise you not to eat meat late at night!
By the way...the jury was one-sided, for sure!
(We always love your sense of humour! You make us write absolute **** in the comments!)

Marjie said...

Mango, Thor would totally have vouched for your character, integrity and good intentions. Don't let the pipsqueak take over! Keep him in that cage until he learns manners! We big guys have to hang tough, especially seeing how that court was definitely loaded!

Gus said...

Mango...if ya break out, ya can come to Mayemphis. I'll bet you can do a killer imitation of !"
:the King"


Dory and the Mama said...

Mango...I totally say that it is NOT your fault!!

I think the moon is in doggy and that has led to some bouts of unnecessary doggy roughness lately!!

In the past 2 days I have ummm.."chased" (Mama says GONE AFTER) Bilbo..and yesterday I may have
brushed my teef against his skinny butt..

The moon is soooo in doggy right now...not our faults at all

Moon Smileys!

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Mango, that quote was taken out of context. I know you tried really hard to restrain yourself. Though maybe you would not be the best role model for young Oliver...


pam said...

Oh noes again. The Mango Man might have to go to the jails?

This will not do. Bobo and Meja are coming to rescue you Mango Man.

Bobo and Meja rescuers of the Mango

MJ's doghouse said...

oh mango..i htink you need some mj times...i wish they called me as a witness...i would have given them the speach of a lifetime...poor mango...sending much much much love....mj

Tom, Tama-Chan and Sei-Chan said...

What about mitigating circumstances? Why didn't anyone bring them up?

The Army of Four said...

Well... at least you got to hang out with Brownie for a while.
Tail wags,
PS: I think one of those members of the jury is Dave without his Sibe suit on!

Mack and Sally Ann said...

I'm sure you'll be out of the slammer soon.
Sally Ann

1000 Goldens said...

I am both shocked AND appalled by the injustice. Truly yours, Farley

RDX said...

Wow Mango! You're right. That court was totally rigged! And prejudiced! Did you see all those Labradorks??


Rudy said...

So it looks like the little squealer is behind bars and not you. Still I think that was a stacked jury. You should sue that lawyer!!


Stella said...

And no one comes to the aid of this tiny baby dog, Oliver? No one cares that he was run into the ground, bitten, chased by Mango AND PeeWee, lonely for his pawrents and probably hungry? Does anyone care about this little guy? You were all puppies at one time, is this what you wanted for yourselves? I am shocked!


Benny and Lily said...

Oh my Gosh Mango, that is hysterical!! So you were found guilty! How dare they say the court was rigged
BOL..Love it!
Benny & Lily

Dewey Dewster said...

Poor Mango....I think ya need ta have yer attorney file an appeal.....then ya need ta learn ta control yer temper.....I mean...ya are bigger than the little guy....ya have ta be a bit nicer ta him....he's only a little squirt....'n watch who ya call as witnesses too...some of 'em could fry ya.....

Dewey Dewster here.....

Sam said...

Aw, Mango. The little guy will be gone soon. Marge is having a giggle over here at the all-black lab jury. She says she would have been happy to defend you.. she hates puppies. LOL!

Amber and Nala said...

Ahhhhh, poor's hard having a pup in the house....they can be quite annoying. I do feel for the little squirt though too....he is just so cute and innocent looking. I realize he is not though as they all look innocent but take it easy on the little one....he probably is homesick.


MurphyDog said...

dang, Mango. You was framed. Sounds like all you wuz tryin to do was tell that little yellow labradork to back off and he didnt listen. Hey, someone's gotta teach that lil runt some manners, right?

Guess you just dint realize how razor sharp those giant choppers are. Maybe next time he'll listen though huh?

hope the rest of the days in the slammer go quickly

wags, wiggles & slobbers

Sasha said...

Mango, I reckon you were set up for that - it wasn't your fault at all!

Puppy kisses

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
I am so sorry you had to suffer all that!
I know it was not your fault!
Kisses and hugs

Noah the Airedale said...

That sentence would never have been pawded down if airedales were on the jury. You were ripped off buddy.


wally said...

Mango, You need the best lawyer possible on appeal. I'm the Johnny Cochran of dogs. Call me. I'll bury the other side.

wally t.

If the little guy is a twit, you must acquit.
(I'm working on it!)

tula said...

geesh mango- your world has turned upside down.. well, guess what! the little labradude was spotted yesterday morning. just him & your momma spending special times together. the spylady said he's like the cutest walking stuffie! sorry doom is written all over this one..


The Thundering Herd said...

You must work on a better attorney. We think that was just a normal bitey face infliction, so no sentence should be carried out. But, then, he is kinda pee-wee pee-wee compared to your RH.


I'm telling you, this is why I am an only child. No problems like your labradork world. And I guess your dating history caught up to you. Man mango oh man.. Psst.. it looks like your breaking the restraining order 20 ft. You don't wanna get detained again.. back it up.


TwoSpecialWires said...

Awww. Mango. You look so forlorn sitting there listening to the judge's final words. It doesn't seem right. Oliver is on YOUR property! At least we see that sometimes he is the one behind bars (while you apparently wait for him to come out - on good behavior.) (We bet that secretly you'll be sad to see him go. You don't have to admit it, but we bet it's true.)

Jake and Fergi xxoo

Samantha said...

While he is pretty cute, Mango, you definitely need a new lawyer. Even with the biggification of the picture, I cannot see one tiny spot of blood!!! Where is the infamous wound? And you had the worst witnesses! Outrageous! New lawyer! New trial! Oh the stresses in the Mango's life.
xo Sammie

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Mango you were totally framed.. We bet that other Labradork had something to do with it..
That little scratch is nothing. You need to take a close look at our pest. She is totally sporting a scarface and ears...
They are total pests and then they act so innocent when you retaliate..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Sophie Brador said...

Oh Mango, Mom thinks that little guy is so cute. Almost like me when I was a baby, except of course I was more beautiful. Sounds to me like he is just a wimp if he can't handle a little bruising from the Mango.


dewdana said...

Oh Mango that is just wrong! First of all those teeth marks don't even look like they could be from you! Did your lawyer submit dental impressions? I think you were poorly represented.
Glad the little guy is ok or you might have really been in trouble. I mean, pups have to learn what a warning from a big dog means right?
Hope you get some time off for good behavior. Keep up the wookie sounds and I bet the warden will cave!
Moose + Dana

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog oh hay wow this is a gross miskarridj of justiss!!! almost as gross as the varyus miskarridjes of justiss wot hav reesulted in my own freekwent inkarserayshun in verryus dunjuns!!! at leest yoo didnt hav to shayr a sell with that crazy rabbit bugs bunny!!! ok bye

Niamh said...


You are right about those puppies being little fakers. I pinned Ambrose the first time the goofy thing came near me while I was eating. I didn't put a tooth on him but he screamed and carried on like I had ripped both his ears off! What a baby! I feel so sorry for you that you have to deal with Oliver.

Your friend,

Wild Dingo said...

Mango! Where's the justice? The ruling was fixed! FIXED I tell you. File an appeal immediately and get a new dawgyer.

PeeEss: Nice to meet you. came over from Fiona, OP Pack, Khyra, the Herd and so many more. Mango, you're like a major talk of the blog world. Like some sort of star. Of course. you're The Mango!

Maggie and Mitch said...

Oliver clearly needs to learn respect for you, Mango! Five days is a long time, huh?!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Anne-Kathrine said...

OH Mango, don't you know you should never leave marks lol Sorry to hear about all this!

Joe Stains said...

That was so NOT a jury of your peers. SHEESH that was so totally rigged I cannot even believe it.

Woodrow, Luna, MJ Campanella said...

Poor Mango man - it was just an accident i am sure of it - we would have been character witnesses for you - we could even defend you we have all mommies law book as references

Woodrow - Sweetie - MJ

ps - if a scratch like that is punishable - sweetie would never be allowed out of her crate