Monday, November 30, 2009

Holiday Card Outtakes

I suggested that it might be time to work on our holiday card for the big DWB exchange. So of course out came the same old dumb accessories. Then the fun began of trying on outfits and seeing if we would sit in some most unnatural poses.

I am not a big fan of all this dressing up stuff, I mean, anything could happen. Check out this YouTube if you don't believe me (watch out for the sound track that starts at the 30 second mark, sure to cause uber geeks such as my dorky momma to snort and chortle). PeeWee is not nearly as experienced as my large and preferring to be nekked self, so he had on the elf ears before he knew what hit him.

You can put those dumb ears on me, but I am NOT going to smile for the camera.

The Mango is not an elf!

Oh, now its the Santa hat, is it? Just give me a hot dog.

Oh, gosh, the hat appears to no longer be on my large and not readily compressed head.

I think PeeWee is getting the hang of it.

What have we here?

Kiss me, indeed. That is not even going past my snooter.

Eeesh. What a suck up.

That's better! You tell her, PeeWee, no stupid costumes for us!

Momma thought she would demonstrate.

Ha! Not such a good outfit after all, is it, you dotty old hen?

I don't imagine that this photo would fill my pals with holiday cheer.

Sure, you can balance things on me all you want whilst I am meditating, but what kind of jolly greeting will that make?

Grumble, grumble, momma says she needs to "rethink" her approach. Yuh, we'll see about that.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Dexter Day - Payback

After hearing about the heinous attack that Hector suffered at the jaws of that puppy Oliver on Thursday, I was determined to give that little rascal a good talkin to.

I arrived at his estate to find him practicing his slobber skills.

I immediately set to giving him a lesson in big dog.

Back home, I was quite worn from my vigorous workout with the annoying puppy.

I told the Relentlessly Huge that next time Oliver is coming to our place, restraining order or no restraining order.

Hey! You like my new collar?

OK, time for football and a well deserved nap.

Dexter done!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Constructions and Bitey Face on a Rainy Day

Yesterday was pretty rainy, so not too much to do around the estate.

Master started the day by carting off the door to the dog cave. I think he needed firewood to keep the barn warm. I hope that he doesn't start to dismantle our estate one piece of wood at a time.

What are you doing, Master, need any help?

Huh? What's up with this? He replaced the door to my dog cave with some sort of half door contraption. Why do you suppose he would do that?

Meanwhile, I was just kind of settling in for a nice meditation in the dog cave.

Momma took this photo of my hiney for reasons known only to her. Something about my "cute leggie."

Even the Mango can only meditate for so long (20 hours per day is about my limit) and so I began to grow bored with all this inside stuff and gave PeeWee the universal playtime signal of biting my own leg.

Come on, little dude, let's have some fun.

Sometimes he needs convincing to play so I put him in a head lock and bite his face.

Hello? Time for fun!

Now we have a game on! AR AR AR! I have to admit I am proud of those brave little fierce faces he makes. Of course they do not compare to mine for total intimidation factor, but it is a great approximation.

I am not supposed to play run around bitey face inside the house due to my propensity to knock things over and slide around on the non carpeted floors, but it is possible to have fun without ever actually standing up.

Here is a short movie version. Please excuse bad lighting and decrepit background. Its not called the dog CAVE for nothing. Hope you have a great weekend!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Wheelie Thanksgiving

Hector Wheelie here.

On Thanksgiving day, Momma and Master were invited to the home of my human brother and sissy in law. Given that their puppy, Oliver, still has a restraining order on the Relentlessly Huge, Mango and Dexter had to stay home, so I, Hector, boldly ventured forth to represent our little pack.

Mango warned me to watch out for that Oliver. I thought that was all a bit overly dramatic given how cute the little guy was (but kind of a sloppy drinker).

But then, oh, I can hardly tell you, but I must in case other wheelies fall into the same trap.

While my nephew Misha watched my brother carve the turkey, I decided to go into the dining room to spend some quality time with Oliver (after all, he is family).

We were getting along just fine, when...


Youngsters, cover your eyes!

I was engulfed by his stinky puppy jaws of doom. Do you see how one of my feet even came off my wheelie platform? That was really painful!

Look! The assault was caught on video (warning, actual puppy attack on wheelie, not for young audiences).

I was able to make my way to the safety of the dining room table.

While the wicked puppy went outside to do his victory dance.

I was too distraught to take any more photos.

In fact I went right from the dining room table into the trunk of the car and hid there until we arrived back at the estate.

Oh Mango! How good to see you. He noticed my boo boo leg right away and gave me nurturing smoochies.

I think I am getting one of those restraining orders for myself against that vicious puppy.

I overheard momma trying to setup a "play date" for evil Oliver to come to our estate. I will keep an eye on the calendar so that I can be sure to get out of Dodge when that happens.

Hector Wheelie! Over and out!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thankful Award and Adoption Stories

I have received this nice award from several of my friends. It reminds me of how wonderful DWB is and how great it is to have so many pals. I am going to pass it along to five of my buddies (since some of my most bestest friends already got this award, I am going to give it to new dogs).

Bajas and Virus and Poirot who live far away in a place called Norway and always make me smile.

Luna and Wild Dingo (Luna has pantyloons and Wild Dingo is just a doofus)

My newest friend, Twinkie, who, well, you'll just have to visit.

Bobo and Meija who are sharpie dogs with fantastic snooters.

And Moose who is kind of cool for a labradork.

I am most thankful today for all my friends and for my wonderful estate and my momma and master and sometimes even stupid peewee.

I will share with you how our family came to be.

My Beautiful Raja was two years old and my Grandpa Angus was twelve and even though momma and master have something called a "two dog limit" they thought that Raja needed a friend because Angus was "starting to fade."

They almost got a puppy from the same place that they got Raja. The breeder lady had a puppy and was going to be in Master Chew Sits for a show and offered to bring the puppy along. But then she told Momma and Master that they would have to meet her at a truck stop on the highway to get the pup even though we live right off the highway and the breeder lady got all huffy when they told her that we would have to bring the puppy home and see if he liked Raja and Angus and how dare they question the quality of the pup and Momma and Master hung up the phone and said, "No way we are going to bring home a pup sight unseen with no concern about our household."

So they started going to doggie shows and they met my family at one. They were impressed by how happy all the mastiffs from that kennel were and my dumb brother Floyd was in a puppy contest. They fell in love with him and found out that there was one just like him back home and drove out to meet me. Well, of course they fell in love with me, especially when I got stuck in the water bucket. And the next week they brought me home.

Here is a rare photo of my puppy self with Grandpa Angus and Beautiful Raja. As you can see, even as a youngster I was quite good at meditations.

And of course totally the most handsomest puppy EVER! Right?

For any doggie who wonders, I was ten weeks old and weighed forty pounds when I came home... just a wee thing.

Sadly, my Grandpa Angus crossed over the bridge just a few months after I came home, so I didn't get to know him too well, but I adored my Beautiful Raja.

She was kind of lukewarm over my puppy self. You can see her making grouchy face at me here, but nevertheless I always wanted to be as close to her as possible.

Raja had bad sickies which caused her pain and that was why she was grouchy, but I was determined to melt her heart.

I was happy just to be touching her. Who wouldn't be?

Before I was even one year old, Beautiful Raja crossed over the bridge. This caused lots of leaking because she was so young, especially from me because now I was all alone.

I became quite despondent and would not run or play, but mostly lay about pining away.

Momma and Master adopted a little girl Airedale. She was six years old and at first we got along OK, but as time went by, she got meaner and meaner and pretty soon I was afraid to be in the same room with her and she had to go away.

So Momma said "we will find a puppy for you." She started haunting the dog shows again looking for a puppy that was "smart, athletic, and easy going." Sounds like a mastiff, right?

Naturally I was pretty juiced when she announced that she had found the "perfect puppy" as I was envisioning a baby Raja. She said she had found a breeder with happy dogs and that she had told the breeder all about me and how I would need a very special kind of pal and the breeder agreed that if we waited a few months she would have just the right pup.

So imagine my horror when THIS came home.

I was NOT pleased! I did my best to terrorize the little pest, but he retained a goofy, happy demeanor despite my best efforts.

You can bet there were plenty of SQUEEEEE sounds early on.

But that PeeWee had (I have to admit) a way about him. I mean he was respectful of me when I showed him my toofers, but he was kind of sassy and fun to play with.

Sometimes I even miss those puppy days because PeeWee is not nearly as intimidated by me as he used to be.

Actually, we get along great as long as he doesn't try to snuggle or get too close to me when I am meditating or getting special mastiff love from Momma.

And when he acts like a doofus I just ignore it.

Sometimes Momma talks about getting another puppy, but I always remind her that I am her special momma's dog and feeling a bit tired and stiff at times and can't really have some cracker dog all jumping around in my space.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. If you want PeeWee's version, you can read it here. Don't believe everything you read, though.