Friday, December 11, 2009

Nards





Earlier this week, Momma announced that PeeWee was going to spend the day at daycare. I thought it would be funny to spray paint this sign on him. Hehehe.

Have fun, squirt.






Well, apparently my little ploy went a bit too far. According to the daycare people, PeeWee was "very popular" at daycare and enjoyed lots of attentions from the other boy doggies.


I think it made the little dude a bit despondent because the next day he totally slept in until after 7:00 in the morning! That made me feel bad that I had played such a mean trick on him.





But as luck would have it, that very same day, I received a most timely post from the Lacie Beast herself.

LOOK! Labranards for sale in right in Pennsylvania!


It says "home raised, unbelievably adorable, will go fast!" Who knew you could grow your own nards? Kind of like sea monkeys I suppose.

Surely a new pair of labranards would be just the ticket to give the little chap a higher ranking at daycare. I immediately got on the phone to inquire.




Human: Hello?

Mango: Yes, hello, this is the Mango. I would like a pair of labranards.

Human: You want a pair?

Mango: Yes, a pair of labranards! You do have some left, right?

Human: Well, I am afraid I only have one left, but it's a beauty.

Mango: Just one? Does is work as well as two?

Human: Um, I think so. One is usually plenty. Have you had a labranard before?

Mango: Duh, I should think so. I lived with TWO for totally almost two years.

Human: Fine. Then you are an experienced owner.

Mango: They weren't mine! They belonged to my brother PeeWee! I haven't been tutored! What do you think?

Human: But you did live with them, right? You know how they are.

Mango: Have mercy, of course I do! When can you send them, um, it, to me?

Human: Send it? No, no, no, you have to come down and collect the labranard yourself.

Mango: That is impossible. The Mango does not travel outside of Rt. 495, you will have to send it to Master Chew Sits.

Human: Well, I guess I could do that.

Mango: Yes, and be sure to put it on ice so that it doesn't go bad on the trip!

Human: I don't think that will be necessary.

Mango: Hey, up to you, but if it spoils before it gets here I am going to withhold payment.

Human: It won't spoil, unless you do the spoiling.

Mango: Did you say soiling? Whatever. I will pay you extra to put a few snaps on it. I want to be able to take it on and off for smuggling into daycare.

Human: Snaps? You mean a collar? Daycare sounds great. Labranards do well at daycare.

Mango: Duh, that's the point. No more humping.

Human: I don't think there will be any humping, this is a female labranard.

Mango: Huh? What kind of scam are you running anyway?

Sigh. I guess things are not always what they seem. I did try.






Sorry, PeeWee. Looks like no new labranards for you. Maybe later we can practice your big dog snarly faces.








Mango Man! Oh yeah!

58 comments:

pam said...

Oh Goodness this had our mommy laughing out loud. Labranards!!! she kept saying. Labranards!!!

We say the snarly face will probably work though.

Bobo and Meja

Dory and the Mama said...

Oh Mango...Mama is laughing so hard she can hardly type this for me...be very CAREFUL what you ask for!!! Just think a PeeWee as big as YOU!!!

Smileys!
Dory

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Heehee!!! It actually took a while for Mom to figure out what Labranards were. Frankly, she thought they were what you thought they were, or that it was a typo or something. And she was laughing very hard at the idea. And even harder when she figured out what they REALLY were!

But it's nice to see that you were thinking of Dexter...

*kissey face*
-Fiona

Frankie Furter said...

Well now... I'm just not sure you were really sincere in your attempt to un-do this one. I don't know what my mom finds sooo funny about this.
You know Mango... Santa Paws Is certainly watching.... You may end up with some of the Same STUFF that Tank is going to get in HIS stocking.
Best tone down the pranks for a couple weeks. I'm just sayin'.

Wild Dingo said...

Mango Man! At least you tried. Shows you care about the poor Pee Wee...

~wags-n-wiggles~
wild dingo

Sam said...

Mango that's quite a conversation you had there... like others said, I wasn't sure what Labranards were at first but you made it obvious (maybe not to that human)!

What's got ME wondering, though, is why these people felt they had to cross two very different breeds and stick a cutesy name on them? Sheesh.

Dozer and Coop said...

I had no idea that nards came in different breeds. Wonder what Cooper had...

Love, Dozer

elbouwii said...

hahaha Sanne love that conversation of the phone hahaha

kissslobbers
El'bow & Hauwii

The OP Pack said...

Thanks for a great laugh tonight, Mango - you really know how to get us chuckling.

Happy Friday, the OP Pack

Petey said...

Maybe Pee Wee was upset because those scamps at DayCare didn't buy him dinner and take him to the movies first.

Your pal,

Petey

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Wow, I love Day care. I'm sure things will get better for Pee-wee even without those things. You have trained him well to be a big brave dog.
Sally Ann

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Harumph...I was supposed to get a um well CUT on those Nards...sorry 'bout the er pun...so...they only had a left girlie nard? Seems like Peewee might have even more of a problem at day care if you'd purchased that...sigh...I will continue to peruse the paper and see if anything else interesting comes up for sale...

Mumsie seems to have died...she started dyin' when she watched the lovely dance we did and now she's completely unconscious and not breathing...no no I'm not callin' 911...I'll start CPR when we need our kibble...she got suckered into agreein' to workie tonight at midnight...if I render her conscious now she'll only start the WOEISME WHININ'.... I had heard you could die laughin' but this is the first I've evidenced it in my nursie career...

Kisses, darling..

Beastie...

Would ya believe some blithering ass is setting off fireworks tonight...celebrate the season??? Hellllooooo...I thought they're for the Fourth of July....stoopid hoomans...

Randi said...

Awww My poor little Cublet PeeWee! You look a bit disgruntled in that last pic...don't worry...just take those balls I sent you to day care & all will be well...

I kinda sorta think that the highly intelligent R.H. got labranards confused with boy dangling dice when they were really lab/st.bernard mix puppies!...

I think you could use a little sister...that'd be pretty neato...

Love & Licks,
Randi

dewdana said...

It was very nice of you to try to score some labranards for pee wee. It sounds like there are some ill-mannered pups at day care though so surely he will need two. If not I think you should go with momma to drop him off so they see what a big dog brother he has.

dewdana said...

oh yeah... I am thinking that labranard has earned its own category label on your bloggy. There has after all been lots of nard-talk lately and I suspect this will not be the last we read of labranards!

Coco - The Princess said...

this post had my mommy laughing out loud at work! Were going to nominate this one for post of the month!

Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,

Coco The Princess

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Dang!

I was even going to ofFUR to snag The Xterra and deliver to woo!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Norwood said Merdie and I were at his doggie skhhool today!

houndstooth said...

Oh Mango! You didn't! I think you should order him a labranard anyway! He deserves one!

Bunny

Aniemother said...

Hahahaha... Great post Mango. I'm visiting and it's almost 2AM and everyone is asleep - and here you have me laughing uncontrollably.. Oh well.. ;)

Ane
aka The WriggleButtMom

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

Mom usually says this to Joey and Tanner, but you guys are why she has girls.
your pals M&M

Ms. ~K said...

Mango, you are so BAD...funny, but BAD!!!
Licks and Sniffs,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy
Georgia LabraDorks (not Nards)

1000 Goldens said...

Oh Dex, there is nothing worse than being violated at day care! Thank goodness for Mango's brilliance in procuring you some new Labranards.

Gus said...

Mango Man

That is truly a classic post.

If you see an ad for Wirefoxnards, let me know.

gussie

Noah the Airedale said...

Mate, I just googles labranard. I think you should invest in a new dictionary, you'll be surprised. I was hehe.

tailwags
Noah

Benny and Lily said...

Oh Mango! Now that was not very nice putting a sign on pee wee. Poor baby looks exhaausted
Happy Friday
Benny & Lily

achieve1dream said...

Oh my goodness!!!!!!! Totally, unbelievably FANTASTIC post!!!!!! My ribs hurt from laughing so much. Poor ickly Dex. No Labranards for him. :)

TwoSpecialWires said...

Mango. We don't think it gets any better than this. 'Cept. We're having to scoop Moma up off the floor. We're hungry, and all she can do is laugh and wipe the tears from her face.

This was a totally winning post.

Love
NardlessJake and his sissie

iheartsnark said...

Oh Mango, you sure do love Pee Wee! It takes alot of courage to call up looking for a pair of nards!

The Thundering Herd said...

Poor Dex. We hate to laugh at your expense, but, well, our hu-dad can't stop laughing.

Samantha said...

Holy Labranards! Cleaning off the 'puter screen again!
Hugs xo
Sammie

MJ's doghouse said...

awwww Mango you really do love the labradork....such a great big brother...ummmm...i still dont get the whole female labranard...wierd..

Ina in Alaska said...

Until today I never even heard of a labranard! Looked em up. Awesome looking dogs!

Stella said...

I wonder what the girlie Labranard looked like.

Sometimes I worry about you, Mango!

Kisses,
Stella

brooke said...

LOL! This is the funniest thing Ive seen in a while! Youve totally got me laughing out loud!
Im trying to think... what IS a labranard?!

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Oh Mango..
mom peed her pants giggling over this post. Man.. what daycare are you going to? Camp Hump-a-lot? Don't worry you settle into the pack... it's just hazing. You know how fraternities are.... I can give u tips on beer bongs.
norwood

Two Country Poodles said...

Oh Mango...You are quite funny! Our momma is still laughing...


Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo

Ike said...

Dude, a hump me sign? Too cruel. (but way funny!)
Ike

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Hmmm.... I guess that was not what you expected, right?? Haaa!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

Mango, how do you do it?? You always make our Mom laugh until tears roll down her face - and she even has a "Mango" voice in her head while she's reading it.

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

Mack said...

I think the thought is what counts and I just know the PeeWee would appreciate you thinking of him!!

If you ever see an ad for Bostonnards please let me know!

Sophie Brador said...

You do what you can. At least the peewee is too pooped to bother with your magnificence, right?
Tell your mom that the soaker coat woman will probably do a special order in Mango size just for you.

xo
SB

tula said...

DARN.. was wondering if they come in different sizes & shapes.. thinking xmas gift. oh well, great idea though Mango! maybe the next sign you put on your bro says I'm a boy!or I like girls.. it was his first day.

toodles, tula

Maggie and Mitch said...

What a nice brother you are to try to help out Dexter, Mango! Santa is smiling down on you!
We got your Christmas card in the mail today! It made us smile! Thank you so much!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

WAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAA!!!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Mango!!
Another wonderful and great post!!!
You're the best!!!
Soooooo funny...so sweet.....so gentle(ehhhmmmmm.....).......
Sure you love a lot Pee-wee!!!
;-))))
Our Mama is laughing so hard she can hardly type this for me!!!!!!
Thanks for this post!!
You made our day!!!!
HAve a wonderful weekend!!
MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Oh poor PeeWee! When I go to daycare, I sucker the lady who monitors the small dogs into carrying me around like a baby so I don't have to mingle with riff raff. Too bad Labradorks are too big to carry. Maybe PeeWee needs to go in the small dog side of the daycare to get some respect from the other dogs.

xoxo
Pumpkin

Kasha The Dainty Great Dane said...

Oh Mango you are too too funny...I can't believe you put that sign on poor PeeWee...you are quite the instigator aren't you? I'm sure PeeWee will do better next time at daycare...they were just checking out the new kid.

AARF Kasha the Dainty Great Dane

Twinkietinydog said...

No smart comments. We all loved your post. Our house is roaring with laughter. Thank you, Mango!!! xoxoxo
Twink!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Caveat emptor, Mango!

Marjie said...

Labradudes are not good at snarly faces. Poor Pee Wee. Maybe your momma should let him stay home and play with the Mango. I agree, how can there be a female labranard?

Drools,
Thor

Martha and Bailey said...

Mango, we just left a comment and can't see it!!!
We were saying you had better be nice - that includes Dexter - cos Santa will be watching and it is nearly xmas.
We are sorry if you now get two comments!!!
love
Martha & Bailey xx

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Don't be sad PeeWee at least Mango tried to help you out.. Mango keep trying...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Too funny Mango Man. Mommy read this post to Daddy. She laughed a bit harder than he did though.
Smooches,
BabyRD & Hootie

wally said...

Oh Mango you are so thoughtful trying to get your brother some labranards. I had a pair once upon a time. But please tell Pee Wee it is a hump or be humped world which is why I generally go on the offensive.

wally t.

Butchy and Snickers said...

Wahahahahaha! Mama is still laughing. You are so funny Mango & so sweet to try to help Dexter out. Too bad the ad was a scam. Hmmmph, maybe you'll find some before Christmas.
Luv & Wirey Hugs,
Butchy, Ruby, Sylvester & Scuby

ocmist said...

OH GOOD GRIEF! We about had to do CPR on Mom! You need to warn a person before hitting them with something like this! She was like Fiona's Mom and it took her until Fiona's post to try to labor at thinking how it could really be something... Smoke was coming out of her ears, but then the fire finally lit and the light came on! Good, Mom...

It took some pretty BIG Nards to call and try to get some more for Dex! OC

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

grrr--we are pissed that some jerk is breeding labs and st. bernards.

Stella and Gunther said...

Labranards? WTH! What will they think of next..

It was nice of you to think of Dex, Mango.

xoxo

Oskar said...

So good of you to try to get Dexter some new nards!