Friday, July 31, 2009

Hugeness Demonstration and Slobber Photos

Momma tried to make a movie to demonstrate my hugeness. I suppose she wanted me to sit down nicely, but I was having none of it and favored her instead with my large and muscular bottom as well as a couple of well place head butts.

She also demonstrates the proper form for leg weaves with large doggies. Please ignore inane comments. I suspect that she was a bit dorky from walking Pee-Wee in the hot sun.

You can watch my movie by clicking here. Oh yeah, momma wants me to tell you that she is 5 feet and 6 inches tall and thus qualifies as a full sized human.

Whatever.

As my alert readers know, Honey, the big, blond, clever Dane is running a slobber contest. Yes indeed.

Here are my official slobbers photos.


To start, a subtle, blowing in the wind.




Post swim slobbers.




Action slobber! Stand back! I have a slime radius of about 10 feet and it is not unknown for my slobbers to wind up on the ceiling.



And finally, full force suds machine! Crank it up, baby!





Of course the all time queen of slobber was my Beautiful Raja who crossed over the bridge when I was a baby and before I could learn her amazing techniques.

In her memory, here is a short movie demonstrating her skills.


Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I am Going to be an Uncle

My brother Jake called to say that they went to the puppy manufacturing facility and have found a young pup that agreed to go and live with him.

Naturally I was quite excited and when my sissy-in-law sent photos I could not wait to see them.

Imagine my horror when I saw THIS!






Are you kidding me? That is no puppy! That looks suspiciously like a bleached blond version of THIS!






Here is what a puppy is supposed to look like (damn I'm good looking)!








Not some stupid pee-wee midget hump meister stare at you while you are meditating on YOUR observation deck creature!





The Mango is NOT pleased.





Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Big Machine, Garden Disaster, and Bitey Face (with vocals)

Please be sure to visit my pal, Honey, who is having a slobber contest. I know that some of you doggies might be intimidated by the high quality professional slobbers that full sized doggies like me and Honey produce.

Don't worry! I think that all entries will be considered. Heck, even dumb Pee-Wee can get a little bit of slobbers going when there are foodables involved.



Master is all excited because he finally figured out how to use one of his new tool time machines. It is called a Shaper and it has something called a Power Feed which means the wood goes through all by itself and you don't need to stick you fingers near the blade and you get a nice even cut.

Here is a demonstration. Look, ma, no hands!

video



It is for making something called "moldings" which look like this. He is busy making the doors for the front of the barn.

Whatever.





In other news, our vegetable garden is a disaster. Momma claims it is due to all the big rain we had, but I suspect part of the problem is that she was too lazy to take care of it.

Our cucumbers have gone from being promising little baby cukes to horrible yellow mutant things which are "good for nothing!"



The tomatoes are just plain scary. I know you are supposed to put cages around them to keep them from going wild, but that never happened this year and now they are taking over the entire garden.




Our lone beet plant... in serious danger of being overtaken by the weeds...




We ripped out the broccoli plants today because they had "gone to seed." I was assigned to assist with the mulching.






Mulch, mulch, mulch, nom, nom, nom. This is hard work!




Pee-Wee worked on carrying bits of broccoli plant to the dumping grounds for dead vegetables.





There must have been something in those broccoli plants because after our mulching activities we were both pretty amped up.

In fact the midget got downright tangled up in my large and difficult to place leggies.






He corners so fast that sometimes he totally wipes out! I prefer to wait for the proper time to strike.





But as you can see from this movie, I, too, was feeling somewhat large and uncharacteristically bouncy myself.

Did you see Pee-Wee running to that piece of wood near the edge of the deck? Does he think that is some sort of home free touch pad? When he was little he would run under the deck and it freaked me out. Sort of like when the shark in Jaws goes under the boat.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Yes, I Can Jump and Pee Pee Mystery

Please visit my pal, Jasmine. I fear that her mom is trying to make some sort of love connection for her and she is none too pleased.

Some doggies have questioned the voracity of the jumping photos published by the midget on dumb dexter day. They ask, "Mango Man, are you really jumping?"

OK, I will admit when I first saw those contraptions I was unclear regarding their proper use.




But I wasn't the only one (sheesh, will you look at him, some sort of weasel impersonation I think).



But once I figured things out, I was totally into it! So yes, I am jumping and here is a reprint of my large and agile self clearing the fence.







It appears that somebody has been peeing on the planters on my observation deck.

Hmmm.... who could it be?


Nope, not me, no way, definitely NOT me.


Momma pointed out that this plant showed evidence that it had been peed upon from a great height that some little midget doggies could not achieve.


Hey, nobody saw me do it. It could have been Master, you know. Right? It could happen.

Besides, I would be more concerned about the fact that my weave poles are on the observation deck.

I mean, really, a guy could totally wipe out if he accidentally wove up there.


And so what if I did do it? What's the big deal?

Just focus on how handsome I am.





Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dexter a Day Early - Agilities Update

Today we had final exams at agilites school. I made sure to get there extra early so that I would be mentally prepared.

While Momma helped set up, I got to play with my teacher's new puppy, Dove. She is a lovely little golden gal, but she wasn't much interested in me.


Then it was time for our big test!

My teacher, Mike, said that to graduate we had to be able to do lots of different obstacles one right after another. Us doggies were sent outside to play and the people did something called "walking the course" and Mike told them where to turn and stuff so that we wouldn't get confused.

Are you ready? I took movies of me and my pals doing our final exam runs. That's my teacher, Mike, in the wheelie chair. He sure can motor around in that thing and he competes in agilities too with his Spinone dog, Paxton.

Watch the movie by clicking here. Please ignore momma talking to me when Taj is in the ring. I get kind of excited watching her run around and sometimes don't sit and stay like I am supposed to. My turn is about 2:45 in (but you will want to see my friends too, right)?

Um, can you tell we all FAILED? Little Dallas, the Pappy Yawn is going to transfer to short dog agilities, but my friend Taj is going to repeat beginner agilities (again) with me.

When we got home, Momma had a surprise FOR ME! She said it was supposed to be a graduation present, but, well, what can I say, she messed up showing me where to go so we flunked out.


But I got to open my pressie anyway and it turned out to be from the best store in the world.



Hey, back off, this is MY present!





I supervised while Momma assembled the contents. What could it be?




JUMPS!!! FOR ME!!! Oh Boy!


video


Naturally, the Relentlessly Huge wanted to get into the act and I have to admit he did pretty well for a big guy.





Check it out!

He likes it! Who knew?

Mango the agility mastiff?






Out of my way! I am jumping here! WEEEEE!







What a super present. I am in lab heaven. Let's go jump some more!





Dexter done!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Phtoto Challenge

My good pal, Pumpkin, gave me this challenge.

1) open the folder that has your pet pics in it
2) choose one you haven't posted before
3) tell its story
4) tag 5 friends


Here is my photo. It is me watching momma drink her morning coffee and trying to convince her that it is time to get off her lazy butt and do something fun with the Mango. This happens every day. She totally takes forever to wake up.



I tag;

1) Molly and Taffy
2) Saige and Guinness
3) Maggie and Mitch
4) Sasha

and

5) Jasmine (OK, Jasmine is a goat, but she is my pal and she is totally cool)


Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I did finally get my supper the other night, but that's not the point, is it? Anyway, thanks everybody for your concern that I would become less large due to lack of kibbles.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pee-Wee is a Big Faker

Please be sure to visit Miss Kylie. She is running a 200th post photo game and the deadline to send in your photos is almost here!





It all started on Monday night. Stupid Pee-Wee was running around on three leggies with one of his hiney leggies just dangling in the air.

Naturally, Momma was quite alarmed. I, Mango, was a bit suspicious given the vigor with which he dashed madly about.

Of course, the fact that he would not bitey face me was a bit disappointing, but I didn't think much of it.


Until...


He started acting all weird by putting his little black labraself in all sorts of unusual places.

To start with he body blocked my access to the dog cave, apparently intent on having some private discussion with momma.






I was able to get in finally and asked him what was up.





But he wasn't talking and then he relocated (gasp) to one of MY mammoth beds in the dog cave!






And just lay there looking all pathetic. This was a most curious turn of events.




But his little plot was revealed when I overheard him saying to Momma, "Oh dear, my leggie hurts so bad, I cannot possibly go to Obedience school (heh heh). I think I am dying! Oh I can't walk! Oh save me!"




Simple being that she is, Momma immediately scheduled a trip to the V-E-T for the wily little dude and cancelled his obedience class.

Along with the scheduled V-E-T visit came this note.






And to my horror, when I went to look for MY supper, MY bowl was empty!




What's going on here?

It said not to feed Pee-Wee. It said nothing about the Mango!

I am starving!




Please do not leave me here all alone and starving whilst you take that big old faker who would rather go to the V-E-T than obedience out for a ride in MY mastiff mobile!





But away they went.

Upon their return it was just as I had suspected. The midget has a "click" in his knee, but not a real boo boo and no Lyme disease and was diagnosed as just having flung his little self about a bit too much. Oh man!



Yuh, look at him! Does that look like a dog with a hurt hiney! I think not (OK, in fairness to the little guy this photo was taken a full 48 hours after the walking on three leggies thing started, but still).





In modest attempt at retaliation, I have positioned my large, hungry, and neglected self in front of the labradork's sleepy couch.

That should give him something to think about next time he wants to trick momma into skipping obedience school.





Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Check out this photo of Momma's shadow (I kid you not). What the heck? Does she have a tail now?



Monday, July 20, 2009

Lawn Tractor Herding

My good friend Honey won first place in her dance competition! WOW! Her mom choreographed a routine for me and I am working hard to be able to dance just like Honey (although I will only dance in my yard because I would get total stage fright if I went to a big competition like she did). Here is a movie of her showing off her stuff. She is so big and blond and clever.


The Rocky Creek Scotties have announced the winners of their Stick out your tongue contest. They had a ton of entrees. Our pictures are there someplace, so we earned this certificate of participation. Go visit their bloggy to see all 127 competition photos.


AND NOW THE BIG EXCITEMENT OF THE DAY


Hey Pee-Wee! Do you see what I see?







Looks like that neighbor lady is riding around on her lawn tractor again.







Come on! Let's go give her a scare!






AR AR AR! I AM A REALLY BIG DOG!


video


Hah! Scared her for sure!

I'm exhausted! Did you see me running?

The things I have to do to keep the estate safe.



Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Check out this little mini-mastiff I found on YouTube. He is almost as talented as my large and full of tricks self.