Hey, has this happened to any of you? One of my nails turned white!
Ignore length of nails, I am scheduled for a much overdue trip to the salon next week.
Check out my stylish pal, Petey, sporting his official Mango Minster gear! You look fab, little dude!
Sometimes, Momma does not understand that it is MANGO TIME!
When I try to alert her to my most urgent need for attentions she says that I am a "bad doggie!"
She claims this movie is proof, but I say that I am just being most patient whilst she figures out that it is time to come out and play with me. Now she also claims that I was howling most annoyingly, but since there is none of that in the video, I ask you, can that possibly be true?
Not to mention she edited out the part where SHE used an HBO word in the same sentence as my name. Oh my burning ears!
In other disturbing news, I was happy to receive several nice Valentine's Day cards and so when I saw one from The Beast I figured that she had decided to make nice with the Mango. But it was not to be...
Inside was a card with a photo of what she claims is the result of some most unnatural coupling of her small yet curiously large bottomed self and my large and saving myself for a normal doggie self, er, um, self.
And the alleged spawn of Mango wrote me a note that can only be construed as a misguided attempt to blackmail me...
Darling Papa Mango,
I just wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day dearest father (child support can certainly go to mom if you could just put the $$ directly against her Nordstrom's account, that would be FAB).
Perhaps I shall come to visit you and Uncle Dexter this summer. I would enjoy the ROTE. I am a petite thing at 227 pounds so I can't share the back of the mastiff mobile. Too bad for you!
Yes, I am attractive, aren't I? My ears are my best feature.
Give my love to Uncle Dexter, dearest Papa.
Love and kisses,
P.S. The amount mentioned by mama for child / pup support is $10,397.27 per month. Tra la la la la!
What to do? PeeWee has been trying on disguises lest the creature actually come to the estate and try to extort him as well. Which is creeping me out. As if I needed more stress right now.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!