Friday, February 19, 2010

Am I a Bad Doggie? AND BLACKMAIL! Horrors!

Hey, has this happened to any of you? One of my nails turned white!

Ignore length of nails, I am scheduled for a much overdue trip to the salon next week.

Check out my stylish pal, Petey, sporting his official Mango Minster gear! You look fab, little dude!

Sometimes, Momma does not understand that it is MANGO TIME!

When I try to alert her to my most urgent need for attentions she says that I am a "bad doggie!"

As if!

She claims this movie is proof, but I say that I am just being most patient whilst she figures out that it is time to come out and play with me. Now she also claims that I was howling most annoyingly, but since there is none of that in the video, I ask you, can that possibly be true?

Not to mention she edited out the part where SHE used an HBO word in the same sentence as my name. Oh my burning ears!

In other disturbing news, I was happy to receive several nice Valentine's Day cards and so when I saw one from The Beast I figured that she had decided to make nice with the Mango. But it was not to be...

Inside was a card with a photo of what she claims is the result of some most unnatural coupling of her small yet curiously large bottomed self and my large and saving myself for a normal doggie self, er, um, self.

And the alleged spawn of Mango wrote me a note that can only be construed as a misguided attempt to blackmail me...

Darling Papa Mango,
I just wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day dearest father (child support can certainly go to mom if you could just put the $$ directly against her Nordstrom's account, that would be FAB).
Perhaps I shall come to visit you and Uncle Dexter this summer. I would enjoy the ROTE. I am a petite thing at 227 pounds so I can't share the back of the mastiff mobile. Too bad for you!
Yes, I am attractive, aren't I? My ears are my best feature.
Give my love to Uncle Dexter, dearest Papa.
Love and kisses,
Your daughter,

P.S. The amount mentioned by mama for child / pup support is $10,397.27 per month. Tra la la la la!

What to do? PeeWee has been trying on disguises lest the creature actually come to the estate and try to extort him as well. Which is creeping me out. As if I needed more stress right now.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan said...

Life is always so full of mystery and intrigue over a MangoLand...

Two Country Poodles said...

What a disturbing letter...not to mention that picture.

Oh your poor mom....Doesn't understand Mango body language.

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo

Niamh said...

We cannot imagine that you would ever annoy your momma Mango! She must have been having a very bad day and was hallucinating. Maybe she needs a day at the spa too.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

elbouwii said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH that photo of dexter
our eyes! it's burning! AAAH

El'bow & Hauwii

dewdana said...

Were you waiting for your red carpet to be rolled out Mango? I cant believe hot dogs and Cheese won't work! Moose doe that too but I assure you any even remote possibility of food and he caves! Clearly it is Mango Time if you are that unwavering!
Poor guy!
Very disturbing to think of that Mancie spawn loose in civilization!

tula said...

what a fun game, Mango. play it again! teach macie when she comes too. she can take after her papa:)


BRUTUS said...

Poor Mango - the momma just doesn't get it, does she? Oh, and my nails are white, but they are starting to turn black! Almst 20 months old and all the sudden they have all these little stripeys appearing in them. Great, it'll be even harder for mom to trim them without torturing me!!

Brutus the Frenchie

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

hahaha!!! Dexter at 55 seconds!!! hehehehe!! i see that Lacie Beastie is up to her old tricks. you should see what she sent Groucho--stay tuned. i think she wants to date Groucho. What she doesn't know is that Groucho loves Guinness, being a gaylien and all..

houndstooth said...

Yegads! I think I just heard Billie Jean playing in the background!

Mom had the giggles during that movie and then Dexter's eyebrows totally got her! Great work!


Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

You REALLY have had a bad day, Mango!! Hope you can get that pawternity case cleared up soon! That's one chunk of change for pup support!

Be sure to stop by our bloggie. We've given you an award!

Woofs and Kisses!

Frankie Furter said...

OMD OMD Mango... DEMAND a Paternity TEST!!!
Love the video. Perfect example of ... a grrrreat DAWG JOKE!!!
Dexter... Ask your mom to give you a Vaseline Nail Treatment. It sometimes helps.

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Its a wonder all your nails have not turned white after putting up with Lacie!

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Hmm, do nails turn gray much like our hair when we get older? I say get some hair dye and see if that works.

And, how long does it take for your mom to get a clue that you need some playtime? We understood what ya wanted. Except, we couldn't figure out what "dawg" was. Is that another word for 'dog'? Just wonderin'... must be an east coast thing.

Stella, Gunther and Betty

Pearl said...

Frankly, Mango,

I think you and Lacie make darling offspring!

CONGRATS, Poppa!!!!!!!

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

PeeWee is creeping us out too.

The Rocky Creek Gang

MurphyDog said...

oh my. extortion at its finest.

before you shell out any monies on that supposed child support, I'd be askin for a paternity test.

wags, wiggles & slobbers

JD and Max said...

Oh goodness! We have to say - creative (and incredibly creepy!) though Dexter's disguise is we feel that the Mango drool on his head sadly gives him away instantly! Ooh, we're inspecting our nails now - we've never heard of nails going white. Could it be the worry over being a daddy perhaps? Schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.

Gus said...

Before you spend money on a paternity test, I would ask if Lacie hasn't been spayed.


Marjie said...

I walk in circles like that when my humans don't understand what's going on. Humans can be, well, dense. We Mastiffs have to try really hard to keep them under control.


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...


I play that same game with my mom -

It is such fun!

As fur that blakhkmail - YIKES!

So furry furry skhary



The Army of Four said...

I kinda got lost in the cool music in your video and forgot what I was going to say.

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

ooh what a naughty boy!

Kari in WeHo said...

All I see in that video is a pup who wants to play!

Amber and Nala said...

Oh Mango, the humans never know when it's time to play! Your video and all the comments made us laugh out loud! :) That fake daughter of yours is a bit scary...I don't know if I would claim her. ;)


Schwang said...

What a picture! Did your nail turn white because it was injured? Miss M. used to have all white nails, and slowly some of them have been turning black.

Nuthatch... said...

Don't worry about the nail, several of ours have turned white over the years. Doesn't seem to cause any grief.
We strongly encourage you to demand a paternity test!

Heather & the Nuthatch Gang

Dory and the Mama said...

WOW...I am still trying to get past the header with what looks like YOU giving PeeWee a KISS???

That is more than enough for blackmail...


Sallie said...


Yay for Mango time!

The OP Pack said...

Mango, we understood pawfectly well that all you really wanted was for the Mom to come out with you, right?

Happy weekend, Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Life With Dogs said...

PeeWee has the right idea - you might want to do the same!

Since when is 227 pounds petite?? WOW!

Dog Foster Mom said...

Hey Mango, I liked your video. Remi does the same thing to me all the time - and the door is at the bottom of the staircase so I have to go down the stairs to see if he really wants in, then back UP the stairs when he doesn't, then back DOWN the stairs when he acts like he does, and back UP the stairs when he doesn't... well, you get it. Be nice to your mom and next time just come in sooner, 'k?

Honey the Great Dane said...

Hee! Hee! Mango - I haven't played that game with my human but my sister, Lemon, used to play it all the time and it would drive Hsin-Yi NUTS!!! Especially because Lemon has her own little cat door RIGHT NEXT TO the human door and she would never use her own door but sit outside the human door, asking to come in - and then when Hsin-Yi opens it, she would just turn and saunter off with a saucy wiggle to her butt...cats!!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Sam said...

$10,000 a month? Must have been a big litter!

Eric said...

Pay that money Mango. Must be worth it to keep anything to do with Lacie at paws length.
Wiry wags Eric xxx

The Thundering Herd said...

You just have to wait on the RIGHT invitation, right Mango?

Mack and Sally Ann said...

I don't think that the Labra - zu is a good disguise for Dexter. That is a lot of Child/puppy support. I hope the child/puppy doesn't ever come to visit.

Lacy said...

w00fs, hmmm, heehee, noooo comment...

b safe,

1000 Goldens said...

I cannot believe the abuse Momma subjected you to Mango! Not venturing outdoors in the freezing cold for Mango time? Truly shocking indeed. We loved this video :)

Lorenza said...

I don't know which part of your post is the worst.
Your mom not understanding what you want, Macie and her pup support demand or Dexter in the last picture!
Kisses and hugs

Land of Lincoln Labbies said...

Hi Mango and Dexter dude,
Your Mango video was so tough to watch since your momma was clearly neglecting your needs! This happens occassionally at our house too. Try giving her a big ole slobbery kiss- that will usually make her cave in and come play!
Land of Lincoln Labbies
P.S. Our momma thinks your header pic is just adorable!

Wild Dingo said...

Disturbing. Seriously disturbing. It's no wonder you don't have a drinking problem.

Cassie said...

Holy moly Mango Man! That giant baby,Macie, sure does have your ears! Yikes, talk about disturbing!
(& you called ME disturbing,HA!!)Two words:paternity test.
Concerned WelshieHugs,

I liked your video. Saw that PeeWee got in on the fun. Were you the one who decorated the window glass?? Good work!
AireKisses, BabyRD

Twinkietinydog said...

One more video I loved. You such a bad boy! I love it. I love bad boys. As for your petite offspring, congratulations it's an extortionist! BOL

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay i dont no yoo luk verry payshent to me!!!! ok bye

Peppy Sheppys said...

Demand to go on Maury for a pawternity test.

Bad boys rule.

The Sheps w/Pep