Thursday, February 25, 2010

Beware of Peemail to your Humans and Vacation Fail

This is a tip for all you doggies out there...
If your human starts getting peemail from other humans, watch out! It turns out that the humans of Vito and Loki and Monty and Niamh and even (gasp) Honey have been secretly plotting with my momma about "teaching me manners!"

Oh the horror!

Oh the duplicity!

Oh the betrayal!

Momma has been boring me with stories about when she was in her twenties (about 500 years ago) and she used to ride horsies a lot. Mostly jumping. One time she went on a fox hunt (drag lure only, no fox) and she said NEVER AGAIN because it was really scary. But most importantly, she played polo for a bit.

Now to hear her tell, polo ponies are not normal horsies, but actually cracker dog insane terriers in horse suits who go totally psycho when they hear the smack of the mallet against the ball. Apparently she spent much of her polo "career" flying though the air whilst her pony continued on in the opposite direction...

But the POINT (oh, finally) of the story is that she was not afraid of showing those crazy horsies who was boss and now she is saying she has to take the same attitude towards ME!

Well, friends, the mind boggles at the thought...

In other news, Momma is home from the work place all week. She and Master were supposed to go on a little holiday, but then Master got the bad flu and they had to cancel (they lost the HOOGE deposit they made on some swank hotel too, but no point spending dollars if Master was just going to have to spend the whole time in bed I suppose). Good news for me, right?

Means more time for Momma to help me keep up with my pals, because I can't resist making new friends, like little Mayzie, who is all striped LIKE ME!

Plus, with Master having morphed into a cootie farm, Momma has been sleeping on the couch to avoid possible contamination. This works for me as I am able to position myself strategically nearby so as to be alerted to any movement.

Tough break for PeeWee if I happen to be blocking access to his bed.

Nope, not getting in this way either. Go sleep in the dog cave for a change you little black devil.

Of course it is kind of tight quarters and I sometimes find my large and not easily compressed self a but, er, stuck! Sigh. A little help, please.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. All the Mango Minster prizes and whatnot are now officially in the mail. US domestic should get your packages in the next 8-10 days. Foreign lands, a tad longer.


Heather and Ellie said...

Oh dear! Poor Mango.....

We got our beautiful medal in the mail yesterday. Thank you so much!

Twinkietinydog said...

Poor Master is ill. I hope everybody caters to his needs, rather than keep away from him as if he has the cooties. Dexter, I'm counting on your lively self to take charge. You the man for the job. Sorry the unnamed keeps blocking you from the joys in life.
Sorry you missed out in your vacation, momma. Hope you make it up as soon as possible.

Sam and Pippen said...


No need to worry about our mom pee-mailing. We are the worst sort of boys but she likes us that way!

Sam and Pippen!

Martha and Bailey said...

Hi Mango, we are sorry your mom missed out on her vacation!
This is the trouble with husbands - they sometimes get ill and ruin your plans!
Oh well not to worry - tell her to try and not think about the huge deposit.
We are a bit worried that it sounds as though she is going to get tough with you Mango.
We will email her and tell her we like you just the way you are.
Martha & Bailey xxx

Nuthatch... said...

The only point we ever seem to get is the one with the bird at the end of it. That's a fun point although it's hard to hold still and wait for the release. We must be like polo ponies too bol
Like all brindle doggies, Mayzie is way cute.

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

we will pop in to say hi to Mayzie!

Kari in WeHo said...

Bummer about your parents vacation. The polo Mango pic cracks me up!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Maybe Mango Momma needs her OWN SpaDay!

PeeEssWoo: I'll khut them a good deal on a nice room in Pawsylvania fur a few days ;-)

Marjie said...

And why on earth would your Momma think you need "manners"??? You are not an insane terrier dog after all. We mastiffs are naturally mannerly, pleasant, large, good natured and not moving for smaller brothers if we choose not to. My momma doesn't tolerate any "guff" whatever that might mean, and she says mastiffs don't give it.


Dory and the Mama said...

Good luck with that whole manners thingy...especially if your Mama has some time off uh...oh.

Hope the Master feels better soon!


Ina in Alaska said...

Too bad about Master but I am sure you are loving having Momma almost to yourself at the Estate.

Say hello to Dexter for us please, but don't let our request interfere with any meditations.... xoxo Toby, Ginger, Jeter & Halle

Frankie Furter said...

Master is sick??? Are you sure it isn't Post Tramatic Fire Syndrome??? Perhaps Worms???
Well hope he gets well soon.
How could you get STUCK when you produce all that Natural Oral Lubricant???
As for this manners situation. Get out one of your "charming" photos and SHOW HER WHO THE BOSS IS.
Too bad about the Hoooge deposit thingy. I only leave small deposits... BUTT if they want a HOOOGE one I am sure you are more than willing to oblige. I'm just sayin'.

Schwang said...

What a funny picture! You will just have to keep everyone entertained while they're home this week.

Martine said...

We sure hope Master starts to feel better ASAP!

Candy has already gotten her prize!!! She just couldn't believe it! Captain was very jealous and then he saw what was inside and realized the amazing prize was nearly the same size as his head and he felt better since he's too little to wear it! We will be posting abou the amazing prize tomorrow!

Thank you Mango THANK YOU!!!!

xo martine & the kiddlets

Ike said...

OMD! Lucky your dad got sick!

Eric said...

Sorry bout the Master's sickies. And DOH loosing her relentlessly huge deposit. Sound like you might be loosing yours too Mango!

Wiry cracker dog laughter Eric xx

Dog Foster Mom said...

Don't worry Mango - it could be that teaching you manners could involve more dog treats for you! Just tell your mom she needs to make it worth your while to cooperate.

Hope your dad feels better soon and your mom doesn't catch his germs!

Niamh said...

Don't blame me Mango! It was all my Barbara's idea to email your momma after you commented on the post about Ambrose on the mat. Just make sure that your momma gives you really high value rewards for practicing. Don't settle for pieces of kibble the way Ambrose does!

Your friend,

Petey said...

Ah Mango, you need to tell them that you're a Mastiff TERRIER - with us, we consider training less a "command" and more of a "suggestion."

Poor Dad, shame he couldn't build DOH her own resort behind the barn on the estate. Terrible about that deposit, too. At least she has you to console her.

Your pal,


kissa-bull said...

oh my dog mango
our mommish totally spit out the soda she was drinking from laughing so hard at that photo of you as a cracker dog horse. she sparyed all over the computer screen
thanks mango
we'd never seen THAT before
teehee hee hee hee
extra pibble sugars for you
the houston pittie pack

Toby- The dog with a blog said...

Sorry about the emails, training tips can be scary...

I think you look pretty good as a horsie!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Mr. Mango. You made me BOL today with that funny picture of you. And then I saw that you mentioned me in your Most Awesome Bloggie! OMD! I am so flattered! I have had such a good time getting to know you and all the other wonderful doggies in the blogworld. Everydoggie has made me feel all warm and welcome. And you tell your mama to leave your manners alone! I think they're just fine the way they are. Oh, and I hopes Mr. Master gets well real quick and your mama doesn't get sick, too.

Wiggles & Wags,

Aniemother said...

The whole riding the mango smacking balls have us all giggling! As for the manners - we are confident that in the end you will be teaching her!


Stella said...

Hmmm, Mango, the only thing I can think of for you to do if she gets hot and heavy on this lesson thing, is right when she gets toughest, just keel over like you are passing out from over exertion. Do that big drooly thing you do, and maybe she will get scared and forget about it. Can't hurt to try!


hero said...

Mango needs manners? Says who? Mango will always be the Mango we love so much... right? Hope Master will get well soon.

Licks, hero

Honey the Great Dane said...

Oh Mango - I agree with Niamh - don't blame me!! You know what happens when you let Hsin-Yi loose at a keyboard...she can produce 1,000 words in 10 minutes and most of them scary!! :-)

But I have to say, I agree with your Momma about the horses - I mena, people are always going on to Hsin-Yi about her size compared to me and why she is not scared of being bossy with me...I don't know what they're talking about! Don't they realise thst Hsin-Yi is 10 FEET TALL??!! That's what she looks like to me and when she puts on her Scary Face, I think she grows even bigger, into something like Godzilla! Of course, she is the boss! She just acts like she is the total boss and knows everything and expects to be obeyed NOW and I just never think of even questioning it. I think she learnt that lesson from Lemon, actually - cats always act like they are the boss of everthing, don't they, and are so cool and confident with it - and nobody ever questions them (even humans!) but just let them boss everyone around! Who cares if they're only 4kg? I suppose it's the 4kgs that count!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Sierra Rose said...

Glad you have more time this week with your hoomans, but get better soon to hooman dad!! Keep us posted on the manners!! :)

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

houndstooth said...

I thought it was humiliating when people used to strap monkeys on greyhounds like tiny jockeys! You have it so much worse! Does your mom think you are simply some beast of burden? I think you need to come up with something to occupy her time this week before she gets more crazy ideas!

Awwww, give Dexter a break! The dude just wants his couch!


Kasha The Dainty Great Dane said...

Oh had my mom cracking up and laughing out loud at your polo picture!! Wonderful picture!!

AARF Kasha the Dainty Great Dane

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Manners shmanners. Who needs 'em when you're as handsome as you?

Good luck with the parents being home all week.

Stella, Gunther and Betty

Benny and Lily said...

Aww to bad about the humans vacation. Poor Mango having to listen to those stories! BOL..Thank you for our medal. We will post about it tomorrow. VERY COOL>
Benny & Lily

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

i hope you feel better! and Mango you better take notes from Dexter since things are a changing!

Love the new header picture!

Droopy and Callie said...

Oh Mango a little training won't kill you!!!!!! Too bad about your humans vacation. We hope your Master gets better soon

Lots of slobber,
Droopy and Callie

P.S. We didn't mean to make your momma cry about our new labradork neighbor. We're gonna try and convince momma to toss him some treats!

ScrapsofMe said...

Dang! The Master's got the flu bug huh? Bummers. I hope the Mango Momma doesn't get it cuz youse guys would starve to death without Momma around. Make sure you keep him warm.

Dexter, I did always wonder why you wore a sports bra...I thought it had something to do with yer tutoring...turned you into a cross-dexter!

yuk yuk!

Bonnie, the Mango-pony! Now, imagine if that was the Lacie Beastie riding up there! YeeHah!

Kasha said...

That is super frustrating to hear that you couldn't go on your trip. I can imagine that must of been a big bummer. I hope everyone gets better and Mango is able to get up from his cozy spot.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
I hope your Master gets better soon!
Sure it great that your Mom is at home with you!
Kisses and hugs

Sally said...

Hi Mango - hope your human gets better soon - you are a very successful road block ! Paddy wants you to know that he thinks manners are over rated! He rarely behaves in public or private - and the humans are powerless towards him!

Lots of licks
Sally and Paddy

ocmist said...

THAT wasn't very nice posting that pic of you playing polo! WE had to almost give Mom Mouth to Mouth to get her breathing again after the ROL she had!

Horrors! NOT Obedience training or whatever they are planning for you! You already have manners! They may not be the kind of manners that some would like, but they are manners!

Mom feels bad for your Master and Mistress missing out on their vacation, but cooties is a lot better than the truck wreck that messed up one of THEIR vacations several years back! Hope, though, that the couch is comfy so your Mom doesn't have cricks anywhere in her body. My Mom is so old that if she sleeps on a couch she says she feels like someone snuck up and beat her with a 2x4 the next day! Silly Mom... as IF we'd allow THAT! OC

Wild Dingo said...

Mango Man! You should be happy I haven't even given your momma a lesson in "Training with Skillets!" booowhahahaha!

if you see the skillet... run! booowhahahaa!

dewdana said...

Stinks about the vacation. I know your momma needed it and who knows maybe she would have come home and forgotten all about those dreadful emails! Instead she has a whole week to whip you into shape like some kinda polo pony! Yikes. Hope the snacks are good though- use 'cute face' to guilt her into making some liver ones!
Hope you don't get stepped on in the night what with sleeping in such close quarters...

Kali said...

hehehe Love the picture Mango!!


Mack said...

Oh what a handsome show horse you would make!

We are so sorry Master has got the sickies - but glad you have Momma there all week~

MAX said...

Hey there Mango my special buddy!!!
My mom is scared of dogfights....sounds horrible!
We really loved your Polo picture today (BOL!) You guys always make me laugh and I love your blog and your style.
Take care now!

SGR said...

WOof! WOof! Sending my golden healing thoughts to your Master.LOVE your show horse photo. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Life With Dogs said...

That is a giant bummer. Not Mango on the polo field - that is a riot. But very sorry to hear you missed the trip...

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

love the photo of you with a jockey on your back!!!!!!

thanks for making us laugh out loud!

Marvin and Jeannie xxxxxxxx

Tucker said...

It's ok Mango I like being naughty at times. Momma and Dad are still making me work on my manners though.

You make a pretty good horsie. Strangers are always asking me where my sadle is. They think they are funny like I've never heard that before.

woof - Tucker

the booker man said...

hiyas mr. mango!
i'm glad that mama and i found your bloggie!
manners's totally lame, isn't it? my mama is trying to do the same thing to me. bleh.
the booker man

p.s. -- your little bro seems like a cool labradude. we labs are awesome; just give us a fair chance!!

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

Mango, I can't believe that someone actually saddled you!!

Better watch out for all those scheming Moms!

Hope you got unstuck from between the sofa and coffee table!

Have a pawsome weekend!
Woofs and Kisses!

BRUTUS said...

Yes, manners are certainly overrated!! Not nearly as much fun as following our spontaneous inclinations, don't know what these humans are thinking!! You do look pretty fly as a polo "pony". I bet you could really be a star our there on the field - you could just push all those other little ponies out of the way & sauter up to the goal!!

elbouwii said...



Mango dude! that speedy photo
is fantastic funny!!!

El'bow & Hauwii

Molly,Taffy and Monty said...

Hope your Master feels better soon Mango. What a shame your Momma missed her holiday, perhaps they will be able to go another time?

Moly, Taffy and Monty

Penny and Patches said...

We're sorry your master has become a cootie farm and caused lots of $ to be spent on nothing! Hopefully, they can make up for it next time.

Manners, Mango? What the heck is that? Obviously, we have none, most of the time!

Thank you very much for the card. Mom brought Poppy home today and it made her cry all over again! She won't bring dad home until next week and I suppose she'll be crying then too!

Lana and the 2 P's

Ms. ~K said...

Mango Manners?
Now that's an oxymoran!
Licks and sniffs,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Asta said...

You make a most devilishly handsome polo pony..youw Mom suwe is lucky to have you awound. So sowwy about youw mastew and his gewm factowy. but like you said, ;ucky fow you..maybe youw moma can take hew vacations in newYawk fow the gweat DWB meet instead
smoochie kisses

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog oh hay wow konspirasees!!! oh shoor i cud beleev it of sum of those dogs but shoorly not big sweet honey dog!!! i just hope that wen yore mama rides yoo arownd in the polo rink chaysing the puck or wotever it is that she duz not yooze spurs wot jingle jangle jingle!!! ok bye

1000 Goldens said...

We LOVE Momma's description of polo ponies! Didn't know there were cracker dogs in there :) That is very sad about losing the deposit. Vacations at home are wonderful too. Any time away from the work place is a GOOD time!

The Army of Four said...

Mr. Mango Man... your mom wouldn't reeeeeeeeally do that to you...... would she? *shudder*
I hope your daddy gets better very soon!

Joe Stains said...

We are sorry to hear your Dad got sick, we hope he is better! We got our Mango minster prizes, thanks so much buddy

achieve1dream said...

Glad I'm not the only one who sleeps on the couch when hubby is sick. :)