Saturday, March 20, 2010

Proper Couch Dismount

I have to apologize for the Relentlessly Big Cry Baby Momma's Dog outburst earlier this week. You know how temperamental he can be. Am I to be blamed if I have a lot to say? No.

So, Dexter here, with an instructional montage demonstrating the safe and proper way to exit your sleepy place.

I was alarmed to see that some of my friends have actually fallen off their couches and beds (Miss Kylie) and things, so please pay attention to avoid any bodily harm.

First, please, please, please, do not attempt to exit the bed until you are fully awake. Attempts to mobilize while still partially slumbering can result in a Relentlessly Inept bed dismount.

Ask your humans for a cup of coffee if necessary.

Next, prepare to exit by sliding your front end as close to the floor as possible while still maintaining a secure posture through the weight of your hiney (this should be no problem for the bottom heavy, weeble like Beastie).

When you are ready, slide your feet all the way to the ground and prepare for dismount.

Good job! You are now safely on the floor!

Take a moment to regroup and plan your day.

I hope this PSA has been useful. Remember, you CAN prevent accidents with a little forethought. Practice often. Of course, this is just one technique. I am sure there are others, so do please post alternate dismounts on your bloggys so that other doggies can safely enjoy their comfy beds.

Dexter done!


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Aren't woo just most dextrous of 'em all!

Khyra & Khousin Merdie

Busby and Raymond said...

Interesting PSA. We cats have no problems with getting in and out of bed, maybe because we sleep everywhere?

Penny and Patches said...

Great job, Dexter! We don't really have that problem since our beds are already ON the floor. We do, however, sleep with our bodies IN the bed and our heads on the floor. Makes the dismount rather simple!

Penny & Patches

Jazzi said...

Great dismounts you guys. Pretty cool. I just jump off my bed but I do have unsual sleeping ways. lol


mayziegal said...

Oh, Dexter...I sure hopes you don't get in trouble for this post. But I'm glad you risked the wrath of Mango. Cuz it was Most Helpful and Informative. I shall go practice it right this very minutes!

Wiggles & Wags,

The OP Pack said...

Dextrous Dexter - great job, great lesson. That is the very same dismount that TD does. He just loves to do that doga stretch. But for some reason he has never gotten a coffee brought to him.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Heather and Ellie said...

Ooo Dexter you're so lucky to get to go on the couch!!
I wish I could...but NEADS is pretty strict.
Good advice, anyhow. Mom always wants me to go faster than I do when jumping in and out of the car, maybe after your PSA she'll realize I'm going slow for safety.

the booker man said...

thanks for the PSA, dexter! it will come in handy as soon as i can convince mama and daddy to let me on the couch.
maybe your next PSA can be on how to carry a squeaky ball in your mouth without running into something? i have trouble with that. i get so distracted that i forget to look where i am going. ouchies.
the booker man

Niamh said...

Thank you for the excellent demo Dexter. I will try to get Ambrose to practice it as he is such a klutz! He falls off things all the time.

Your friend,

Tank said...

Excellent dismount!!! I'd give you a 10!

Asta said...

That is a most sewene weminds me of how I'm supposed to get in and out of cabs while staying ladylike. I will have to pwactice
smoochie kisses

Martha and Bailey said...

Dexter, this is an excellent demonstration and we have studies the technique in detail.
We feel however it may not work for us dogs with very short legs!
That draping down off the sofa is just not going to work for us.
We woule be pleased if you could give this matter your careful consideration.
Martha & bailey xxxx

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Wooos Nice dismount Dexter dude, Teach Scampi that ok? He is always falling off of things. I just stay on the floor, safer that way!
-~puppy kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Noah the Airedale said...

Well that's all well and good Dexter mate but WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED ON THE LOUNGE SINCE D CLEANED IT ALL UP.....sigh.

Willow, Tess & Lucy
Noah: I'm not a lounge kinda dog

Eric said...

Very good manners Dexter. I believe lady leggeds use a simiar technique to get their shapely selves out of the back of a mini car without showing their panty loons. perhaps RH can try it on his next Rote.

Wiry love Eric xx

Maggie and Mitch said...

You are quite the expert at this, Dexter! We wish we were allowed on our couch!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Lola said...

We medium sized canines don't have quite the dismounting challenges that our larger brothers and sisters face. Where I try to use technique is the landing, especially if there's human already occupying the target space. The best is when you can combine momentum with the element of surprise. Good times.

wags, Lola

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Thank you for the great advise on how to dismount safely from the couches and human beds.
Sally Ann

Oskar said...

Very informational PSA, Dexter!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay thank yoo for this instrukshunal dokyooment!!! i tend to go for the flying leep myself but for feebul older dogs sutch as tucker this wil be an invalyoobul referense!!! ok bye

The Army of Four said...

Do you have any advice for those of us who aren't allowed on the couch? Sigh. You know - how to con our mom into letting us get up there?
Play bows,

Abby said...

Hi, Dexter...

Great dismount...Technically perfect...

I would love to give this a try, but I don't think my feet will hit the floor before my butt leaves the couch...

I usually just jump down & My Mom is always worried I'm gonna break my front legs cuz of the way I land...

I should probably have stairs...

Abby xxxooo

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

We had to get Maisie some of those doggie stairs. BLAHHHH! BOL!
Your pal, Morgan

Lorenza said...

Hi, Dexter!
Yes! Sure that is the perfect way to exit your sleepy place!
I have to keep it mind because... accidents happen!
Kisses and hugs

Stella said...

Good work, Peewee! It really wouldn't apply to me because I sleep on a big comfy pillow bed, and when I get up, well, I just get up!

But I am impressed at the many pups you have helped today.


Kari in WeHo said...

you have to make sure you stretch enough while dismounting!

Frankie Furter said...

Excellent PSA!! Dexter you are such a credit to your... ummm .. place of abode.

SGR said...

Woof! Woof! Very useful and helpful INDEED. Absolutely lots of Golden Thanks. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Thanks Dex! We made Betty watch this PSA over and over. She is soooo bad at exiting the sleeping quarters, mom and dad had to put pillows around a dresser that's close by because she continually falls into it.

Great form by the way.

Stella and Gunther

River said...

Good for the bigger doggies. You all need to move more slowly so nothing cracks.

love & wags,

Marjie said...

My momma doesn't let me sleep on furniture. Something about giant toenails ripping "up holsters". And I thought only cowboys had holsters for their 6 shooters. At least that's what my littlest boy told me.


houndstooth said...

Dexter, this is a most beneficial PSA! I should see if I can get Mom to film Blueberry's couch dismount. Hers is very similar to yours, but occasionally there is some farting and stretching involved. I paid close attention to your lessons, though!


Wild Dingo said...

i will NOT show my doggies this post as they know of no such things as sleeping and sitting on furniture. One less thing for me to worry about. And one less thing for me to vaccume! :)

Twinkietinydog said...

Starting a fun trend there, Mango? I think it's a great idea and I enjoyed this post very much.

Kess And Her Mama said...

What's your tip for when the leg is much shorter than the couch? (like mine)...not that I'm allowed on the human couch.

hero said...

Great informative PSA, Dexter... but I'm not sure it's officially endorsed by the RH... is there a different version for the RH?

Licks, hero


Proper dismount PSA! Nice.. However your maneuver was not handicapped accessible. Please perform with the ramp for those less than physically able such as tula and the rh

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

That is great Dexter.. Thanks for the tip.. Perhaps that is the reason Mango's bed is so close to the floor? He needs a little more practice...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Ms. ~K said...

Thanks Dexter, we will keep practicing!
Wrooo wrooo,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Gail in Aberdeen said...

I especially like the bit about take a moment to regroup and plan your day. Us humans could use that one too.
Cheers! Gail.

Samantha said...

You are the perfect spokesperson for the art of safely dismounting the sleeping place. A great PSA and we hope you got paid BIG BUCKS!
PS: the word verification is: idextr!

Dory and the Mama said...

What a great PSA Dexter....Being of a smaller stature, I also find that just laying on the bed or couch until such time as my Daddy moves me to another place also works!


Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

No doubt about it, you have great style, Dexter!

Mack said...

Great advice dude!
I will have to try that!

Stanislaw said...

I personally prefer to shoot out of my bed like my bum is on fire. But that's just me. Mom says I brew coffee in my blood so I think I've got the caffeine portion covered.

Do you have any high-location dismount techniques for a dog of slightly more demure proportions?

Toby- The dog with a blog said...

I have to say - you guys are good at that!

Honey the Great Dane said...

Ooh - thanks for the tips, Dexter - although I have to say, I'm sort of still at the Mango stage! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

ocmist said...

Not a bad dismount lesson. I'll have to try that sometime. Gimli