Monday, March 1, 2010

A Strange ROTE

Even though momma decided to take yesterday as a total slug day, it seemed only right that I should ROTE given that stupid PeeWee went on his big historical walkie (BORING).

So when I saw her grabbing the keys to the mastiff mobile I offered up my cute face along with a somewhat half hearted high five.

SUCCESS! She said I could go! OH BOY!

But I took one look inside the mastiff mobile....

And I headed for the nearest exit!


Why, you ask?

Puppies, please cover you eyes.

Because THIS was in my ride! Oh I cannot bear even to look at its flat photographic self!

Yes, a big scary brown shopping bag, floating eerily in space like it could JUMP OUT AND GET ME at any moment!

What to do? I was in dire straights for sure. How much I wanted to ROTE, but how terrible the thought of forced proximity with the demon canvas bag.

I admit to even crying a little when I was "encouraged" to look at it rather than run away. Oh it was terrible!

Eventually, Momma persuaded me to ever most cautiously enter (don't ask how, but it involved harsh words directed at my large and totally not a big chicken self and a bit of shoving).

But I was sure to keep my distance from the bag which I noted had even moved a bit upon my approach.

But it would all be worth it in the end, right? Because ROTE means car cookies and the promise of that can make one very brave.

To my horror, momma soon stopped the mastiff mobile, and announced, "We're here!"


You made me risk my sanity to go and buy YOURSELF a snackie (do not be fooled by the most promising Pizza sign, she was only there for a sandwich).

As I cowered in my formally most comfortable and now terror filled corner, she told me to be good and wait there and she would be right back.

Wait here for sure, how can I even move?

But there was worse to come.

As we pulled into the driveway of my estate, Momma suddenly screeched the car to a halt and BOLTED out! I recklessly dove for the front seat, temporarily overcoming my fear of the bag and even (gasp) touched it in my quest to squeeze through the the front door.

All for naught.

What could possibly have prompted such erratic behavior, such actual quick movement, on the part of the DOH?


Yes, there were three turkeys in our front yard and she thought it was more important to go chasing after them with the flashy beast than to stay with me.

I suppose I would run away too if I saw a crazy lady with a slime encrusted coat running after me.

Maybe rather than the camera we all would have been better served if she had grabbed the attack canvas bag and used it to round them up and stick them in a pot. Just a thought...

I certainly needed a drink after all of that.

Wish there was something stronger than water in this bowl.

So there you have it. Another exciting day in the life of the Mango.

Now excuse me whilst I retire to the dog cave to recover.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Martine said...

Do you ever chase the turkeys Mango?!

xo martine & the kiddlets

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan said...

Do you think there might be a bit of horse DNA hidden somewhere in your imposing self, Mango? We ask because the reaction to the BSB reminds us of horses more than woofies...

Still, you did have a tough time, so rest up!


The OP Pack said...

So what's the bag for, Mango? Maybe your Mom is going to use it to put all the cookies she gets you on your regular ROTE trips. The next time those turkeys are there, you need to hustle faster and get out there and chase them away. Or grab one for a snack.

Woos, Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Ina in Alaska said...

That was pretty exciting! We don't see any turkeys in our parts of the world!!! Our mom is always checking the sky for eagles, however!!

You did not use your new catwalk to get into the mastiff mobile!!

We are getting ready soon for our own ROTE adventure. We take our jobs very seriously of being in charge of security for our parked car! Except Toby greets anyone and everyone who passes by....Hugs, Toby, Ginger, Jeter & Halle

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Wow Mango, you need to just jump right in that Mangomobile maybe Mom would actually bring you pizza if you did?
I, the Blueman do not like those plastic bags.. Mom thinks it is the noise they make of course the Red's hear NOTHING, so they are not scared..
Cool turkeys Mango, perhaps you need us to come over and herd them for you?

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Mack said...

Yikes. That bag is scawy!


Wild Dingo said...

i think those same turkeys were visiting us a few years ago (pre-Loki and Juno)!

Marjie said...

The wild turkeys stay across the street, away from my Estate. Why on earth would your momma go for ROTE and not bring you home some pizza? Very peculiar behavior. You may have to further investigate. And tell her most firmly that the bag must go. They carry germs and such.


JD and Max said...

Wow Mango - you are brave for sure! To think you actually touched the bag too. The way it just hangs there, mocking you, lulling you into a false sense of security - oh, these bags can be sneaky. FH left one in the porch the other day just as we were going for a walk and we had to sidle past it to get out - the horror, the horror!! We hope you won't be needing therapy.... Schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.

mayziegal said...

Oh, Mr. Mango. I am very much sorry about that bag. I woulda been skeered of it, too! You can just look at it and know that it's plotting something Most Evil.

And then for your momma to just leave you there - trapped with that...that...thing! Well, it gives me the shivers just thinking about it. I think you must be one of the bravest dogs I ever knew!

I am very much relieved you survived this Most Terrible ROTE. I hope the next one is much happier!

Wiggles & Wags,

Dory and the Mama said...

Oh my Mango...a little too much excitement for me, you were ever so brave!


SGR said...

Woof! Woof! Oh! My ... funny Mango. BTW what's in that brown bag? Hope you get a good rest. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Sam and Pippen said...

I can totally relate to the scary bag and wanting to stay away from it! I don't like anything that is strange and weird!

On our walk yesterday, someone had stuck a little Canadian flag in the ground - and it was moving! There was NO WAY I was going near it! I mean, I'm patriotic and all but it was moving! Sam, of course, went up and licked it - just to show mom how much tougher he is!

But if I saw those turkeys, watch out! I'd be all over them! yum yum...

Your bud,

Ludo van Doggy said...

oh Mango. Is you sure you not part sheltie? Really? Cos you know we a nervous breed and that bag looks scary!!!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Maybe she should dekhorate the nasty 'bag' with some of my floof?

Would that make it less skhary?

Nice turkeys - my mom likes the stuff they bottle and sell!

Thanks fur another interesting ROTE!

At least yours went fur food stuffs - my latest ROTE was fur adult beverages in a bottle - at least the label had a WOLF on it!


BRUTUS said...

Oh, Mango... And I thought I had issues... Mom puts me IN those kinda bags you know, I can testify that they most certainly will NOT eat you! Silly boy... And a half-hearted high five? Would that be a high two and a half?? BOL - I kill me sometimes!

Giggling Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

dewdana said...

Turkeys??? No those are northern Brown Peacocks! He he! Is that a normal sighting at the estate? I gather not if it caused momma to abandon you like that? I guess Pee Wee had totally dropped the ball in guard duty while you were out?
And, I guess the canvas bag shows that you are not too mature for your forcefield siliness as I had thought when I saw you on the ramp... Moose loves bags like that. If I set them on the floor he will stick his WHOLE head in to see what is in there!
p.s. sorry you were deprived of your car cookie :-(

Hi! I'm Sierra-Dog! said...

Whew!! What a story! I'm glad you made it alive! =)

Dog Foster Mom said...

Mango, I'm not sure what a ROTE is, but you did good to go in the car in spite of that awful brown bag. I'm sorry you didn't get to go out and chase the turkeys when you got back home.

kissa-bull said...

poor mango
the torture you must endure
did you at least get to lick a turkey to see what it tasted like??
pibble sugars and wee wags
the houston pittie pack

Two Country Poodles said...

Oh mango I too am scared of bags...but not canvas ones the plastic ones...they scare me to death.

Wags and Licks,

Pee Ess: Nice double slime in that last shot!

GonetoTheSnowDogs said...

Shelby says she will come tear that bag to shreads for you! Shiloh will sit with you and make sure you stay safe. :)

Shiloh, Shelby, & Their Mom
(Come follow us, so we can Follow you!)

Niamh said...

Turkeys at the estate? Too bad we weren't there. We could have pointed at them for your momma.

We were quite disappointed to see that no car cookies were distributed for this ROTE. Just because your momma is on vacation doesn't mean that you don't get your car cookies!

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Wooos Mango... UUMMMmmm... woo are starting to sound a lot like the paranoid Border collie which lives here, bone up Man, you are the dog, now be brave!
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Pee Ess Wooo, he,he, he!
my word verification thing is scare!

houndstooth said...

Mango, I am terribly shamed to admit that your post had my mom gasping and laughing as if she'd been possessed by laughing gas! A bag of death is no laughing matter! Mom also asked something about whether your cajones were in that bag. Again, I deeply apologize for her. She's a cross I have to bear!


1000 Goldens said...

Mango, we fell in love with you even more after seeing you in the Mango Mobile with the evil bag. You are sooo brave to push through your fears. ROTE is worth it, I swear it's true :)

Twinkietinydog said...

Oh, today's post was hilarious, no offense. The part about the momma scaring the birds with her slobber covered coat...Thanks, I really needed this.

ScrapsofMe said...

No ROTE cookie? No bite of Pizza or sandwich or drink of Wild Turkey? Dang, man...I'd retire to the dog cave and do some powerful sulking. My nerves would be shattered with that floppy bag hanging on the seat.


Amber and Nala said...

Mango, I understand the harsh reality of scary bags and such...I too occasionally have unfounded and irrational fears. You did look cute though trying to stay far away from it. ;)


Mr Koda MD said...

What an action filled day! What is it with these humans - Ma was home on Monday with a headache... She was giving me a headache, mopeing around the place, Jeez.

Would you like a healthy shot of whiskey with that water?


McGillicutty said...


No worries, me lad! I sometimes have ahem issues too. Some things are just SO scary even though our moms look at us like "What?". Why can't these hoomans figure it out already? They act so puzzled at OUR behavior, and then they chase turkeys with a flash beast?! Who's the normal one again?

I totally get you bro! And, me thinks Lacie DID sneak something stronger in your bowl of "water". That's what she told me anyway. Did you suddenly feel Lacieheaded and fall into a deep sleep after singing a couple rounds of Margaritaville? If so, she might have told me the truth. I'm just satin'...

Irish Love
McGillicutty (the McGIllinator)

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
I can see that was not the happiest of your ROTES!
I understand you wanted to go to your dog cave to recover!
Kisses and hugs


Dearest Mango
Tula advised me to your trouble and I had to come to your blog right away. Now I see why momma is all frantic. Doesn't she know evil bags are trying take over the world and it's best you don't befriend them right away. Oh and I'm reporting her for leaving you in midst crisis to take pics of those turkeys. I mean.. turkeys around here are like DD stores. Whoopdeedoo. Well... I hope you like our trainer... Paul. He's not so bad but he gives you homework.

Life With Dogs said...

That is most unfortunate Mango. I suggest complete and utter rebellion.

Stella said...

Ohhhh, Mango, I just don't get it at all. Being scared of a paper bag? No, no, not for me! Now, fireworks, and loud booms, and thunder and lightening, now that is something worth getting scared over, but a paper bag? No, not at all.

You can be glad you have wild turkeys in your yard instead of a herd of guinea hens. They sound like rusty bedsprings when they run across your yard.

Cheer up, Mango, tomorrow is another day!


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I can't believe that your Mom got you all psyched up with a ROTE and then forced the Evil Canvas Bag on you. I'd call the ASPCA immediately, if I were you. (I've got them on speed dial if you don't have the number...) The nerve!!! BTW, Mom says that a box came from you, but because I had school tonight, I didn't get to open it - Mom is making us wait until tomorrow, or sometimes that fits Mom's oh-so-busy schedule...

Have you considered biting the Evil Bag? If you don't want to do it yourself, I've got a puppy monster I can lend you - she'll chew on ANYTHING!

*kissey face*

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow turkeez!!! tucker and trixie say they yoozd to hav turkeez in there yard in the mithical land of noo york but i thawt they wer just baldfaysd liars but now i see they reely do rome freely like wild mustangs or that lion frum born free!!! amayzing!!! ok bye

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Bahhh! Sorry Mango. I thought Stella was the only one afraid of shopping bags. I think her fears are maybe a little more...honed then yours though. She's terrified of the plastic grocery bags. You've never seen a pug move so fast in your life when one of those comes out. So, the least your mom could have done was move the dang bag so you could enjoy your outing. Parents suck sometimes.

And the turkeys. Dang, we have so many of them runnin' around our neighborhood. Mom calls them dumb as tree stumps. I even bark at them and they don't move. We'll have to post some up on our blog for ya one day.


Jazzi said...

Oh MAngo, my mom would have bolted to get the turkeys too, so dont feel bad, whats so great bout turkeys anyways??

And a cool ride but whats up with the bag huh?


Martha and Bailey said...

Hi Mango
We read this post last night however we couldn't get our comment to load!
Sorry to tell you our mum laughed at your plight with the bag.
Now we didn't find it funny at all and Martha would have been just the same.
That bag had no business being there and we are sorry you were placed in such a state of fear and alarm.
As for your mom running about chasing turkeys with a camera......well the mind boggles. Honestly Mango we don't know how you put up with it!
Martha & Bailey xxx

hero said...

Oh Mango, the mental torture you have to go through with the bag... and no snackie from the pizza place... man, this is first degree dog abuse. Adding to that, those turkeys seem to be taunting you too. Not your day, big guy.

Licks, hero

monica said...

LOL!! and! Oh Mango your momma writes so funny! poor huge boy, having such terrifying accessories hanging about! I Bundy the Bundle of Joy - fierce big and strong bullmastiff - have the same horror of my mommas laundry basket.. absolutely frightful item with that white plastic and all...

Noah the Airedale said...

We dont understand, why did your mama chase the turkeys??? Did she think you would chase them???

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Maggie and Mitch said...

We can't believe that a big strong boy like you is scared of a little brown bag, Mango!
We saw those same turkeys! They must have really hated that flashie beast to run all the way to Northford!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Clive said...


Hope you're all fully rested up and recovered!

take care
Clive and the NSLM

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

Don't you just hate it when freaky things are in your space?

The Rocky Creek Gang

Biggie-Z said...

What kind of ROTE was that? No cookies, no fun stops, no meeting people, and a SCARY BAG on top of that??

P.S. Let's go chase us some turkeys sometime. Momma and P-Daddy let my Auntie Kiva (she was a German Shepherd) chase a turkey and she almost caught it. I'm much bigger and stronger than Auntie Kiva and I LOVE me some turkey necks, so let's go hunting soon, 'k?


Tobi said...

Wow - first I read about American Bison on Sue's blog and now turkeys here! I think we are the only people not encountering interesting animals elsewhere. Mango, I love to see you in the back of the Mango Mobile - you look like royalty being driven around the suburbs.

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Wow Mango, You have phobias similar to me. Wierd things set a scare in me and the parents don't understand me...why? Was I held captive in a floor airvent as a pup? Did a large paper bag once try to strangle me? Who knows, but I try to steer clear of such things. Sorry you had to go through the trauma of the canvas bag for NAUGHT!! Hoomans can sometimes be so cruel.I'm with ya fella! (Perhaps we should start seeing one another---we could produce some really wacko pups!! Oh yeah, I'm fixed.)

Kari in WeHo said...

oh my. that was a scary bag for sure!

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Nothing scares me, so I don't understand being afraid of a bag. You big wiener!! (no offence) BOL!

River said...

That was too exciting. Did you get a car cookie? We usually get to see you eat it.

love & wags,

elbouwii said...

did you get some bird?

dude you have a big car!! haha you need to see sanne's car it's so smaal that if el'bow is in the car that the window must be open so his tail and butt can stick out!

El'bow & Hauwii

Benny and Lily said...

Oh Mango good job keeping an eye on that brown thing. Who knows what could have popped out from inside. Hope you got some pizza
Benny & Lily

Honey the Great Dane said...

OH my God, Mango - this post had my human rolling on the floor with laughter. I don't see what is so funny - I totally sympathise witjh you and that scary bag, I've encountered similarly scary bag relatives on my walks - they are usually plastic and white and caught on a bush and flapping really scarily in the end and I won't walk past them although mean, nasty Hsin-Yi makes me and then laughs at least your Momma didn't laugh at you. Hsin-Yi is always laughing at me whenever I am scared of about lack of sympathy!!!!!

Honey the Great Dane

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

What a horrible ride!! We hope that you recover soon and don't need to much therapy!!

Woofs and Kisses!

Oskar said...

That canvas bag does look intimidating!

As for those turkeys, they look a lot different than the ones I've tasted!

Joe Stains said...

Definitely one of the scariest posts in the history of this blog. I know the feeling, boxes freak me out REAL bad.

Peanut said...

Your mom is just evil to do all that to you and you didn't even get a car cookie.

ocmist said...

TURKEYS!!! To bad your Mom didn't have something to REALLY shoot with instead of the flashy beastie! You could have had turkey for dinner!

We know you weren't REALLY afraid of that bag. There must have been something else like maybe a mouse that ran across when your Mom didn't see... I've heard that large animals have a tendency to not like the little critters. Actually, if you see another one, try to catch it1 They make nice crunchy little snacks, but not as good as a TURKEY would have been! The Country Corgi Crew

The Army of Four said...

Mmmm..... roast turkey!

achieve1dream said...

BOL!!! This was hilarious!! You looked sooooo terrified of the dog eating bag Mango! I mean look at the animation on the relentlessly huge, relentlessly wrinkled face!! Mom is still rolling on the floor after that one.

Oh and I agree the turkeys would be good, but skip the pot.


Luda said...

Mango Man,

Luv that cheezy Mastiff grin!

Yer pal,