Wednesday, March 31, 2010

WTF Wednesday - Early April Foolishness

First a brief PSA. Dogs With Blogs is back! Hooray!
They have been on hiatus for a long time, but they are once again here and providing a wonderful place for all us doggies to meet up. I have made some new pals in the past year who aren't members, so I encourage new doggies to go and visit and consider signing up.

I also want to send healing vibes to my short legged friend, Miss Callie, who started her keynote therapy.

With April Fool's day just around the corner I think somebody has made a big fool out of the DOH because she took an online quiz to find out what kind of doggie she should have and I was NOT PLEASED by the results.

First of all, it totally did NOT say she should have a labradork (and I kind of like the little guy, plus I know momma likes him too).

But check out this description of the wee black beasts.

Labrador Retriever Size: Large. Coat: Straight. Coat length: Short. Grooming: Easy, low-maintenance. May drool. Moderate shedding. Very high activity level. Likes to swim. Bred to hunt game birds. Very high intelligence. Somewhat easier than average to train. Tolerates other pets very well. Tolerates strangers very well. Very good with kids four and up. Very affectionate. Moderately independent. Fairly vocal. Good watchdog potential. Somewhat shorter than average estimated lifespan. A very popular breed in the US, according to AKC records. Not well suited for apartment living.

MODERATE SHEDDING??? I have never seen so much furs come off of such a little guy. There is labrafur EVERYWHERE! Tumbleweeds of labrafur! Labrafur in the water bowl, in the refrigerator, in my foodables, in the sink! I am surprised he isn't bald!

And what is up with that "high intelligence" crap? I would say high suck up potential is more like it.

Not to mention that the little dude can barely spell drool. Humph!

At least they got the swimming part right.

Well, I was SHOCKED to learn that apparently a large and handsome mastiff such as myself is also not the proper doggie for my dear sweet momma. And they had the most insulting description which I include herewith.

Mastiff Size: Enormous. Coat: Straight. Coat length: Short. Grooming: Easy, low-maintenance. Likely to drool. Moderate shedding. Slightly lower than average activity level. Lowest intelligence. Somewhat harder than average to train. Very wary of other pets. Very wary of strangers. Very good with kids four and up. Rather affectionate. Moderately independent. Fairly quiet. Good watchdog potential. Somewhat shorter than average estimated lifespan. A popular breed in the US, according to AKC records. Not an ideal choice for choice for apartment living.

DO YOU SEE WHAT IT SAYS???? (extra question marks for Loki, hehehe). LOWEST INTELLIGENCE! As if! Yuh, for sure I am a most deep thinker as are all mastiffs. Just check out this most keen alert expression often found on my large and reflecting great intellectuals face.

How about this? Low intelligence indeed.

But I must say that I kind of like being called ENORMOUS!

And I am most affectionate with my human brother who qualifies as a kid around here.

Likely to drool? Duh!

Lower than average activity level? What are you talking about? I am most athletic and jumping about.

Huh? Go over the fence twice in one day? Are you INSANE? I am exhausted!

So now here comes the WTF moment, right? Because the breed that the dumb quiz chose for momma is this!

Otterhound Size: Enormous. Coat: Bristly. Silky. Curly/Corded. Coat length: Medium. Grooming: Easy, low-maintenance. May drool. Moderate shedding. Very high activity level. Bred as a game hunting companion. Not especially intelligent. Among the more difficult to train. Tolerates other pets fairly well. Tolerates strangers fairly well. Very good with kids four and up. Very affectionate. Moderately independent. Fairly quiet. Good watchdog potential. Somewhat shorter than average estimated lifespan. In America, a very rare breed. Not well suited for apartment living.

First of all, that dog cannot be enormous if I, Mango, am enormous because those dogs are totally smaller than me. And why did they fit momma with a game hunting doggie?

Is this what they mean by game hunting? Hey, is that the Beastie?

But seriously, what is with the udder hound? I googled them and they don't even bark like proper doggies. Don't believe me? Click on this link.

Hello? Which end of him is that sound coming from anyway? WTF?

If you want to take the quiz you can do so by clicking here. But be careful because you might not like what it says. Hehehe.

Here is a photo of my large and handsome self from the "to be shown" folder. Humph. I can see why this one didn't make the blog. Obviously photoshopped. The Mango does not contort like that.

Oh dear, ladies, please excuse my most obvious Mango nards. Clang, clang! Biggify at your peril.

Remember, if it's not a mastiff, it's just a dog, right?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma says I have to apologize to all the fine udder hounds out there who look to actually be very nice doggies. Whatever.


Nuthatch... said...

I don't think we've ever met a low shedding labradork?? Mango, many people confuse being trainable with being intelligent. We know the difference. Being trainable just means you're good at doing what you're told, you don't pause to question why you should do what you're told.

Chloe and Libby said...

Mango, I think your mommy made the absolute right choice in dogs when she got you and the labradork! No question about it! You two are the bestest!

kissa-bull said...

we agree wiff nuthatch dont they know your kind of all master chew sits and will jump over poleys only when YOU want to. that means your even MORE intelligent cause your training your human to applaud when YOU feel like showing off.
those quiz people know nothing
pibble sugars and wee wags
the pittie pack

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

That website definitely doesn't know you or PeeWee at all.. Maybe Mom should write a letter to the editor and straighten them out...
Great post Mango..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Frankie Furter said...

Well now... I pawsonally think that those stupid two legger folks OTTER have their heads examined. What WERE they thinking!!

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Wooos Mango Man! I think I blew out my remaining brain cells after reading this post... Mum is still laughing....She also wants to know where to take this test, DO NOT tell her! I am the perfect dog fur her, fur, floof and all!
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Mango, don't take the quiz thing too personal. It's like those stupid 'How hot of a lover are you?' quizzes they have in Cosmo. Lame. You and Dex are the perfect 4 leggers for your mom.

You really should do something about those Mango nards though... they're so distracting.

Stella, Gunther and Betty

Kari in WeHo said...

Thanks for the DWB news :) You're pics were awesome but the new header with you hatching from an egg? Kinda disturbing...

Heather and Ellie said...

What a silly quiz, Mango! "Lowest intelligence"??? What are they talking about?
I too am often disappointed by their results, they often don't know what they are talking about.
P.S. Otterhouds are much smaller than Mastiffs. Much.

Nuthatch... said...

Oh my doG, it says I should have a labradork...GSPs were 7th on the list...and it had the nerve to call them intelligent...definitely a silly test.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Too bad the answer wasn't a MFT fur your DOD!

That is khwite a ha ha that the site deskhribes Labradorks as moderate shedders - I believe they challenge my kind much of the time!

As fur the money shot, *SIGH!*

Be still my fluffy tail!

PeeEssWoo: Mom is off to chekhk out what she should have...hmmm!

Martha and Bailey said...

We reckon you and Dexter are the perfect house dogs for any home!
Why worry about shedding when you can drool Mango!
Have a great Easter - we look forward to catching up with all your news after our holiday.
We are also thinking of Callie.
Not an easy time!
love and kisses
Martha & bailey xxx

dewdana said...

Yes Horay for DWB!
Although the quiz is very thorough I am not impressed with the results either! Obviously a labradog is the bestest doggie out there and that came in #5 for me. #1 was mixed breed but #2? Poodle? Hmmm... WTF indeed!
I was delighted though that Moose is occasionally considered enormous! He mostly weighs 102 now but every now and then he gets up to 105 so he is ENORMOUS on those days!;-) Sorry about the intelligence thing... I personally think it is overrated!

Alphini's Puppy Raiser said...

Hahaha, Mango, as usual we cannot make it through much of your post without totally bustin' up laughing!! I bet your momma could make up her OWN quiz and it'd be way better...don't let it get you down!

GonetoTheSnowDogs said...

Maybe low shedding compared to a Husky? But I don't think Low Shedding is the term they should have used hehe

Woo WOoooo
Shiloh, Shelby, and Their Mom

Martine said...

We took the test and were told to get a mutt!!! So you know what that means... I must see if I can search and find Ozzie the Mastiff-Shar Pei mix I saw on Saturday. It's definitely a sign don't you think?

We had never heard of the udder hound... I bet the hound would really appreciate your milking toy!

xo martine & the kiddlets

houndstooth said...

Holy Misinformation! We have three labracousins and they shed enough hair to clothe a small country. We also read their description of greyhounds and have to wonder where they got their information. They were very wrong. Never fear, Mango! You are the perfect dog for your mom, no matter what some silly quiz says!


Dory and the Mama said...

Mama and me cannot even imagine your Mama with you or even Dexter...Silly quizzes!!

We are so glad DWB is BACK!!


Niamh said...

While I do know a very nice Otterhound, he is nothing compared to your Relentlessly Huge self Mango. I think those quiz people need to rewrite their descriptions! They also said that Gordon setters were somewhat harder than average to train and that Barbara should have a curly coated retriever (which I think is a labrador with curlers!)

Your friend,

Anonymous said...

Well, obviously that site is defective and has never been privileged to see your Most Amazing agilities. I bet they didn't even HAVE an entry for Brindle Doggie of Mixed Ancestry, did they? That just goes to show you how defective it is. Cuz obviously I'm the Most Perfect dog for my mom and dad but if they had listened to that site they mighta gotten a udder hound instead! And boy, would they have been sad.

Wiggles & Wags,

Sam said...

Labs are *so* not low shedders. Those dang quizzes never really work, anyway. So don't sweat it, Big Guy.

Kasha The Dainty Great Dane said...

Oh Mango...cover up those nards...I'm so embarassed. BOL...I didn't even realize you still had your nards...Ha Roo..

Anyway, great post. Mom went and took the test as well and it said that she should have a mixed breed first, then a Saint Bernard (which mom agrees with) then a French Bulldog (hmmmm what's up with that one?) then #4 was guess what?? It was me...a Great Dane coming in at that's what I'm talking about.

AARF Kasha the Dainty Great Dane

Lola said...

Blog Mom says she's had 2 labradudes - well, they were labragirls, actually - and one lab/boxer mix and she could have made a whole other fully grown lab out what any one of them shedded in a month.

I made her take that quiz and they said I was, among other things, not especially intelligent and not very affectionate. I can tell you that my family thinks I'm brilliant. Much smarter than a lot of humans is what they say. And as to affectionate, well, I'm totally a kisshound. I loooove humans and love when they love me back, which is usually. They said Blog Mom should have a poodle. She says with all due respect to poodles, after living with me she wouldn't want to live a day without a Shar Pei.

I really don't think that site has the best information. Anyone can see you're a deep thinker. A Relentlessly Deep Thinker.

wags, Lola

Twinkietinydog said...

Why would we want to take that quizz you just demolished BOL Thanks for the breed insight and for letting us know that DWB is back on!

Holly and Khady said...

Obviously the stupid humans who wrote those descriptions have no idea what they are talking about. They were all wrong about Malamutes and Siberian Huskies too! They said we were low maintenance and "moderate" shedders too. Apparently they have never been around during our coat blowing season!

So, don't worry too much. They obviously have no idea what they are talking about!


Jake of Florida said...

With all respect to your mom, forget the site! Look what it says about us:
Wire Fox Terrier Size: Tiny HUH??? WHO YA CALLING TINY?? WE CAN'T EVEN FIT INTO A SHERPA FOR TRAVEL. Coat: Bristly. Wavy/Wiry. Coat length: Medium. Grooming: Easy HAH!!!, low-maintenance HAH!!!. May drool NEVER!!!. Little to no shedding NEVER!!!. Very low activity level WRONG!!. Not especially intelligent WRONG!!. Somewhat easier than average to train STUBBORN AS A DOOR POST. Very wary of other pets. Tolerates strangers very well. Very good with kids of all ages.. Rather affectionate VERY VERY AFFECTIONATE. Moderately independent. Fairly vocal YOU BETCHA'!!!. Very long estimated lifespan. Slightly below average popularity in the US. Excellent choice for apartment living.

And they couldn't decide what kind of breed mom should have so they went all over the lot and decided on a mixed breed.

Relentlessly Huge pal -- tell your mom she should be grateful for your truly enormous meditating self and cut out all this pseudo scientific c--p.

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

Nubbin' Tails said...

Mom says she is sticking to her heart picker! You will be happy to know that BullMastiff came up 16 on mom's list. Ridgeback didn't show up til #90 and that is just crazy talk as far as mom is concerned!

Love all our pictures!


Mr. Nubbin'

Tucker said...

Um that quiz says Momma shoulf have a greater siwiss mountain dog. A Dane was 7th on the list. I hope she doesn't take me back to my breeder :(

DWB is back! I'm exicited, I'm not a member so know I can try to be!

woof - Tucker

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

love your pictures again! the quiz told me i should get setters (gordon and english) and I am not a setter person! tollers were mid way down the list but corgis way down at the bottom, sorry Lance!

Stella said...

Since you are a deep thinker, Mango, think about this. On all three dogs it said you were good with children 4 years old and above.

Does this mean you eat three year olds? Or abuse two year olds? I think it depends on the personality of the animal how they respond to kidlets, don't you?

Kisses, Stella, who is good with all peoples big and little.

1000 Goldens said...

Who wrote that crap Mango? Low intelligence... please. Obviously they haven't met the Mango. Nice way to promote doggie self esteem 'ol description writing peoples, sheesh!

The OP Pack said...

OK Mango, you did it, Mom has just about peed her pants. And that sound from the hound - foghorn???

And for sure, labs shed like crazy, but not as much as we do:)

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Toby- The dog with a blog said...

Piggies are sure fun to play with!

All those photos are sure pawesome, we think you look great!

Jazzi said...

Hey Mango,
This just goes to show you that quizes can be so wrong. They are wrong about you and pee wee. You both are the best dogs for your mom and your family and with faces like your, how could someone not love that mug of yours?? BOL


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Low intelligence? These quiz people have obviously never met your enormous deep-thinking self. As for the perfect doggies for your Momma? Um, I can't think of any better two doggies, no matter what any silly quiz says.

*kissey face*

Lorenza said...

For results like those is why my mom does not take quizzes! Soooo wrong!
Low inteligence?? Huh??
Kisses and hugs

Life With Dogs said...

I'm going to fall over if you introduce us to your new Otterhound in the next post!

the booker man said...

i think those quizzes are stoopid, and if anyone gets a doggie based on the results, then they are kinda stoopid, too. (mama said it wasn't nice for me to say that, but i can't help it.) mr. mango, you and dexter are perfect for your mama, and don't let anyone or any stoopid quiz tell you otherwise. :)
the booker man


I didn't know you can read chinese? That previous comment, I have no clue what they said. Huh I hope those nards are float devices b/c I know you are swimming in that backyard. huh mom took the quiz and it seemed to produce valid results.. cattle dogs were 13th on the list and mixed breed #1. That would be moi! Sorry mango.. maybe your momma really wants a different DOG
norwood MS GB

hero said...

Hey, I'm a chinese shar pei, I can translate the chinese comment for you... it says according to the moon and stars, your momma heart dog would be a huge mastiff with a sidekick labrador to make it a perfect family.

Licks, hero

BRUTUS said...

Wonder if there are any blogging odder hounds?? Whou can be any odder than all of us though, right? ANd I hear you about the labrafur - it really is everywhere!!

Brutus the Frenchie

Busby and Raymond said...

Mango-dude, we LOVE your blog.

Sierra Rose said...

Oh Mango!!! Too funny! Your momma loves you! Online test of not, you are her big love!! And you make us all laugh big time too! So, thank you for this.

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Amber-Mae said...

Hey guys! hey Labradork, you've all grown up! Mango, you lost weight???

Love licks & Hugs,
Solid Gold Dancer

The Rocky Creek Scotties said...

Our Mom says, "if it's not a Scottie, it's just a dog".

The Rocky Creek Scotties

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oh Mango our mom LOVES Otterhounds and that is her most ever dream dog, ever ever ever! the problem is they are really really rare! actually they are an endangered breed and there is like only 500 in the world!!! my bloggy buddies have 2 of them--they are tremendous doggies--and yes! they are a great big dog, just that next to you--everything is small

Honey the Great Dane said...

GAH!! Mango - my human just did the quiz and they told her that her top choice would be a Toy Poodle!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God, I think the poor thing is going to have nightmares tonight. How on earth did they get that when she selected "Enormous", "Very Large" and "Large" as her preference??!!

I had a sneak peak at the Dane description too and my God - it says "Very high activity level." (???????) "Very wary of other pets. Wary of strangers." (Huh? But I'm really good with all sorts of idiots who smack my bum without asking and I even put up with strange doggies coming to poo in my garden! Well, OK, I did sort that one out!) - and then "Listed in CDC and/or other reports as an aggressive breed prone to biting." - what??!! Us Danes are famous for being "gentle giants"!! What a load of TOSH! I think this is the people who wrote this quiz don't know dogs at all!!!

Indignant Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

Mack said...

Mom just did the quiz and her #1 choice was Mixed breed!! And she's always comparing me to her Sumo (a MB) and yes I am jealous!!

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oh awesome! another funny thing about them is that when they take a drink of water they submerge there entire head in the bucket--hehehe

TwoSpecialWires said...

We love you Mango. And we read between the words. Our focus wen to Enormous, Easy and Rather Affectionate. For what more could anyone ask. A giant non-demanding huggable.

Your pals
Jake and Fergi xxoo

ScrapsofMe said...

Well, that's a funky quiz for sure. SHE put in 'under 23 lbs' as she prefers a dog she can pick up easily. And quess what it spit out? Standard Poodle! Um...those are LARGE doggies. Much larger than short legged Scotties and Malti-Poos. Bah! A pox on silly quiz. The Mango Momma has the bested doggies, even if the are both large and one of those EH and not easily transportable...and givien to shedding n drooling a bit.


Ina in Alaska said...

I took the quiz and the Mutt was the #1 choice that came up as my results, followed by toy poodle (surprise!!) as #2. Interesting!

Marjie said...

If it's not a Mastiff, it is indeed just a dog. We are of highest intelligence, and easy to train, and of exactly the correct activity level. Hmphf.


Pee Ess: Your Labradork brother is pretty cool, for a guy who's not a mastiff. And you can count on him to keep Momma occupied when you're in contemplations.

Mack and Mia said...

uhhhh....Mia and I think that the descriptions are right on!

nee ner nee ner nee neeeeerrrr!


Wags and Woofs,
Mack and Mia

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

The people who write that description of mastiffs are quite simply ignorant and rude. That's all there is to it...

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Oh Mango - I can't believe it! We had some very stimulating conversations on our date. Remember our debate regarding whether or not turkey or beef hot dogs were better?

doyle and mollie said...

arf arf arf woof hoo we thinkin you are most intelligence and your new header pic is sooooo funny!!! thank you for the laughs - loves and licks
oh and our word verification is dongis that has to be a new word you are a dongis doofus arf arf arf

Oskar said...

I would totally contact the owner of this quiz site and show them your photographic evidence. Lowest intellegence, hmph!

Jessie said...

I took the quiz and it said I was 88% compatible with a French Bulldog. Willis my Frenchie was very happy to hear about that!

Tee said...

Hello Mango,

You're too funny. Your dexter reminds us of our dexter. Equally goofy. We think you're very intelligent - esp. by your supreme sense of humour!

Licks and wags

The Dog WOods Pack

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay is enormus bigger then relentlessly huge??? just wundring!!! ok bye

Sue said...

What do you know, our Mom took the quiz and her best dog was a Portuguese Water Dog. How great is that?

monica said...

OK. Did the test, and "won" mixed breed... heh. well, guess I am a difficult one to please... On second place: Mini Poodle !!! WTF!! I. do. poodles.!! sheesh.. am not showing that stuff to my adorable, huge, lazy, and more than happy to cuddle bullmastiff. and very intelligent. as long as it's something in it for him...

Peppy Sheppys said...

Dear Mango,

We are checking out a theory that Otis is really a mastiff who was left in the dryer too long, shrinking his already diminutive brain. He is one stubborn little dude.

The Sheps w/Pep

ps. My ma ape gave a big laugh at the "moderate shedding" as she has lived w/labradudes.

ocmist said...

Very interesting. We will have to have Grammy run over there and find out what kind of weird thing they think would be good for her. Obviously, they don't know what they are talking about as your Mom is a wonderful Mom for both of you, and you helped her to become an even greater trainer than she thought she could be, so you MUST be the right dogs for her!

Michelle said...

Hear Hear!!! I'm with Mango, if it's not a Mastiff, it's just a dog. Unless its a Labradork, which I'm sorta partial to as well. ;)

Droopy and Callie said...

Dear Mango and Dexter

We just saw your "shout out" to Callie about her first round of chemo. Thank you so much!! It means a lot to the whole cheesehound household that other doggies out there care!! You brought tears to momma's eyes!

Lots of slobber,
Droopy and Callie

Paula said...

LOL. Sounds like a great dane description, too!!
Mango is way too cute, btw.