Alert readers will by now have gleaned that the stupid PeeWee engages in many fun activities that do NOT include The Mango! This has caused me to become a bit jelly. I mean really.
He goes to agilities (I kind of wouldn't like that since it involves jumping and actual running).
He goes to daycare (which is fun for about 15 minutes and then just annoying).
He goes to good dog attention games school (yuh, as if I can spend an entire hour pretending that momma is fascinating).
So none of those really appealed to me but I still want my own special Mango time so I insisted that Momma find an activity just for ME!
She was quite pleased with herself when she announced that she had signed me up for...
Privates Tutoring! Huh?
That sounded kind of ominous...
Like I was totally worried that it would involve, well, my Privates and, er, tutoring (which unlike the little black devil the Mango knows means leaving your nards behind).
Momma assured me that my nards were safe so I cautiously agreed to give it a try.
We set off and soon enough arrived at a brand new place where I had never been.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must inform you that the following photos are re-enactments (but I doubt you will be able to tell).
The first thing I did upon arrival at the new place was to locate a nice big pole upon which to leave some of my Mango-ness. This caused momma to start uttering non-words which I think meant STOP. What is this, Kegel exercises?
Then we just walked around and around whilst momma and some trainer dude said many words, none of which were cookie or good dog so I was kind of bored and after a while I decided to sit down and rest.
No sooner had I done that than trainer dude suddenly appears with a smokin hot Burned Yeast Mountain Dog gal! Yowsa!
Momma told me it was OK to look! Are you kidding??? Of course I'm going to look! But I played it cool and acted like I didn't really care about her too much.
In fact I even pretended Momma was more interesting. And in a way, she was, because when I looked at her I got a hot dog and when I looked at that snooty mountain doggie gal she just kept on walking back and forth. What a snob!
Then we practiced "wait" which means momma keeps stopping and I get to butt her with my large and bruise inducing head. That was fun.
But the most exciting part was when trainer dude and momma both put a leash on my sports bra and we went walkies outside!
I found a spot where Tula had actually peed and left her a little message of my own. Oh yeah, for sure.
This picture was taken at the end of Privates Tutoring which, as it turns out, is a most fun and not nard endangering activity. See my happy tail wagging?
I got a homework assignment too. I have to go for a ride in my mastiff mobile to someplace where the humans are walking about at a "safe distance" and hopefully ignoring me so that I can sit near my ride and practice ignoring them.
If I practice really hard, I will get to go to Good Dog Attention school and maybe even meet Tula in person! Now that's a goal that inspires me!
Mango Man! Oh yeah!