Monday, August 23, 2010

Labradoink Contest Rejects

PeeWee's stupid labradork contest is almost over... FINALLY. I do want to direct your attention to this special black lab post from the lovely Minnie-Moo. She is so adorable she could almost make me think labs aren't so bad after all.

Whilst the squirt compiles the official voting post, I thought I would do a recap of the entries which I, Mango, deemed unsuitable due to their questionable nature...

I recognize that stuffie from Airedale Heaven, home of Penny and Patches, but I sure don't recognize that doggie.

This entry came with the curious note of "A lab, by any other name, will smell as sweet." And I must say if the only requirement for Dexter's Dumb Contest were to be black of face and annoying then this wee beast would certainly qualify.

You see those stout little leggies? Nom, nom, nom, bet they taste like chicken.

I think that bad Josie made this absurd photo of little Minnie-Me Anakin's face.

And then stole his spray paint to create;
Pugs! Can't live with 'em, can't, er, um.... brain fart! Too many labravibes around here.

Lifeguard? Humph! I would certainly learn how to swim fast if I saw this little land shark headed my way.

This is just wrong.

The stuff of nightmares, eh? Hang on, that wide bottom reminds me a bit of the dust mop momma uses the pick up the labrafurs from the floor. Maybe this is some sort of designer clean up after itself doggie.

El'bow! Not funny! Why would you do such a thing? I can see it is you with a stupid PeeWee head all photoshopped on to your large and handsome self. Please, the mastiff is the perfect dog, right? Never silly or dorky.

If all it took to qualify as a labradoink, then I, Mango would be one too and this we know is not the case. Dave, embrace your floofiness and stop with the shameless behaviors.

I think this guy's brother, stoner golden retriever, lives at the beauty parlor (to which I went just last week). I always pee on him.

You might be thinking, "Hey, Mango, that is an actual labragal, albeit a blond one." And you would be correct because this photo is none other than Moose's half beaked sister, Mandy which I found myself referring to when I received...

THIS! Come on, now... she calls herself
Hi Dexter- we have not me before because nobody made a blog for me. My sister Mandy sometimes gets airtime on Moose's blog but I always get ignored.  I know I sort of look like Mandy but I am NOT Mandy... I am Blandy! 
 See Mandy gets all the attention just because she is Blonde. Clearly she is not eligible since she is a yellow labradog, but since I AM a black Labradog I am totally eligible. Please accept my entry! 
- Mandy  Blandy

You sure had the midget fooled, but NOT the Mango. Bad dog! Bad dog!

This wily little CORGI sent gullible PeeWee a note as follows;
Hello... My name is Giml... Uh, Gimlab... Uh, I'm a black labradog, as you can see from my picture. See my shiney black coat and big, stupid... Uh, I mean big beautiful smile with all those gleaming pearly whites? I LOVE to swim and get in the water. I have long stilt-like legs and a black, ropey tail, and don't all Labradogs have those? Nuanie... Uh, I mean my Auntie has a labradog and she will about beat you to death with that long old ropey tail of hers! She can't enter cause she's yellow... as in not black. Uh... I visit the Country Corgis a lot, so you can use their email address and blog address... Oh, and I've got a big ego, too, and don't Labradogs have those? So you can just mail me my prize when you're finished with this contest, ok?

As if!

Can you believe that the simple minded PeeWee actually wanted to let this entry in? He was all, "Oh Mango! She is just beautiful!" NOT! No, my wee brother, THIS is an abomination!

Not surprising. Suck up teacher's pet always trying to be Mr. Popular even if it means hiding his beard under a pointy labrahead. He even made a post about how he is better than a lab, but I am starting to think there is a reason why he was invited to be part of the goon squad. Read his post here if you must.

Quite the cast of characters, eh?

Oh, and in a desperate attempt to get even a drop of Momma's attentions, I though that perhaps if I, Mango, donned a labrasquirt outfit that she might actually play with ME!

Sadly, due to the difficulty of holding PeeWee still long enough to collect ample furs, it was a tight fit and squeezed my Mango-ness most unfortunately causing this highly embarrassing situation.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Sam and Pippen said...


That labrasuit is totally too small for you! Talk about straining your mentals...

Sam and Pippen

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

Good Grief! How can you stand it?!

Penny and Patches said...


Penny & Patches

The Rocky Creek Scotties said...

YEAH!! For non-Labradorks!! They should have their own competition.

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

Maggie Mae said...

Leaves it to you Mango to sniffs out all of the Labradude rejects and wanna-bees! Grreat job!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

The Paw Relations said...

There's some really strange Labradors out there!

Martha and Bailey said...

This must be the contest of the year!
The lengths some of these doggies will go to.......!
Good work sniffing them out.
Martha and Bailey xxx

Kira The BeaWootiful and Mom said...

Woooos Mango Man and the dexter dog too! we love your rejects! I think I already have a favorite or too... Mom will be emailing woo shortly...
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

tula said...

hey mango, i know nordork's a sellout.. but woo too! uhhh that labradoink suit is so NOT attractive.

peace out,

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Like Jimmy Durante said, "Everybody wants to get into the act!"

The Army of Four said...

Yeah, but the LabraDave also likes getting baths and being brushed. TOTALLY un-Siberian! And he's snuggly. Strange, strange pup.
Tail wags,

hero said...

Having most fun reading all the entries for the labradork contest... can't believe there're so many labra wannabe and it takes a pro in you, Mango to sniff them out... but the last pic is a winner, BOL.

Licks, hero

3 doxies said...

Lexipro...ummmmm, dat sounds vaguely familiar...hehehe! Any buddy by da name of Zoloft? My mum keeps them in business...hehehe!


Those Elgin Pugs said...

Big Me's....
It's yous little(r)yous..(not by much)

I's very disturbed little..ehem.. big puppy mastiff's dis morning to see my own sister participating in such a contest!!! What is 'dis?? What is she trying to do's to me's reputations?? Is she mads at me's?
Has 'da Anakin Man not been dere for her during her hardaches and headcases lately!!!

Oh's Mango.. Maybe yous big adventures gots somes sort of mind controls tingy going ons??

Hmmmm... 'Dis not be's like hers??

I's get to 'da bottoms of 'dis!!

see yous..
Yous Twinner,
Anakin Man

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

That explains why I did what I did during this week's Walkin' Wednesday segment -

Thanks a lot PeeWee -


dewdana said...

He he- there should be a labra-imposter contest! I vote for the country corgis... They have demonstrated that the whole is not the sum of the parts. Moose was pretty offended by the ropey tail thing. Labradogs should have an otter tail... I guess that would not have fooled anyone. He is mortified at Mandy's actions though... mortified!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

That last entry is the winner! We think you should give an award to the best non-entry since so many did such a great job of trying to qualify.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Sue said...

Wow, there are some scary looking creatures on this post. We don't want to meet them in a dark alley. Do we all get to vote on the contest winner?
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

Minnie-Moo (Rescue Lab) said...

Ha ha, love those photos :)

Thank you for being so sweet about me too :)


houndstooth said...

Bwaaaa ha ha ha! I fell right off the couch looking at those!

Now I'm off to see about Mika!


Cinnamon said...

All entries are hilarious!!

Kari in WeHo said...

hee hee hee

Don't forget, we moved to

Wild Dingo said...

YELLOW is the new black! Sibe is the NEW labrador!

vote for, Stoner Lab man!

and drink Mango smoothies. they taste delicious!

wags, wiggles and woofs,
wild dingo

Sally Ann said...

Hey, I can be a labra - welsh. Can I enter? Please
Sally Ann

Benny and Lily said...

Thank you for sponsoring that craziness. Hysterical!! Ummm is somebuddy saying we are stout and our legs look like chicken legs? Well it's all muscle..
Nitey nite kids
Benny & Lily

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Um. Did you break all the zippers in that labrasuit? We love your header picture, BTW!!!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant (and non-labradog) Puppy