Thursday, September 16, 2010

Hunger Strikes Don't Work





Sunday night, after momma hung those ghastly fruitables curtains in the room formally known as my dog cave, PeeWee started doing the hurka hurka and totally blew chunks three times! After which he passed out on the couch.




At first I was kind of grossed out, but then I got to thinking that perhaps he was on to something, so I, Mango decided to go on a hunger strike until my dog cave was reverted back to it's original manly state (or at least until the 5000 sq. ft. flat screen TV and wet bar were installed).

So, starting on Monday I would NOT eat and let me tell you friends, it sure was a hard thing to do. Momma tried to entice me with all kinds of nommy foodables, but I remained firm in my protest. OK, sure, I sneaked some cheese when we were training, but I absolutely snubbed the five cups of kibbles and whatnot that were presented to me twice daily.

I had, however, underestimated the thickness of the DOH's skull. Rather than go to the negotiation table, she stopped walking me and even took a bag of my poo to the vet! Idiot! I was most concerned as to where such explorations might lead still stinging from a recent and shockingly undignified visit to the vet whereupon my poop shooter was the topic of discussion.








By Wednesday night I was beginning to feel a bit unsubstantial and I decided that it would be OK to eat supper since Master makes that for me and as far as Momma was concerned I was still not eating. Right?


WRONG! Master ratted me out (so much for solidarity among males) and so this morning I threw in the towel and most eagerly consumed my entire breakfast.

The moral of the story is that if your humans piss you off, hunger strikes are not the way to go and if your dog cave suddenly turns into some foo foo Lacie Beast magnet, time to embrace your feminine side.









Did you notice a dearth of pictures in today's post? Yuh, that is because during my hunger strike momma went on some sort of retaliatory flashie beast strike and did not take any photos of me for THREE WHOLE DAYS! As if!

I am reduced to showing you recycled images including this one showing one of my many and varied expressions (which you might want to emulate for my contest).

I call this, Mango Flummoxed.




Mango Man! Oh yeah!

42 comments:

Jazzi said...

Mango
Too bad the hunger strike didnt work. I cant believe he snitched on you!! MEN!!Hang in there and yah hold out for the flat screen for sure. Bout those fruity things, cant you jump uhh..kinda yank them babies off and like...uh..make them disappear then give that total Who me look!! Trust me it works all the time!! hehe

wags
Jazzi

Lola said...

Oh, poor Mango. I'm so sorry that you're going through all this. It's good that you ate, though. You need to keep your strength up in the face of all that purple. How about eating the purple bed? I know you could do it if you tried.

lotsa licks, Lola

The Heartbeats said...

Momma's entering Calhoun in the Be Like Mango contest!!! It should be up shortly! Calhoun is what Momma calls a "Teacup Mastiff". People ask us if he's a Mastiff all the time but they're stupid cuz he only weighs 80lbs!!!

Jen said...

Oh dear Mango! Not only do you have to deal with purple in your cave but the indignities of a vet visit. Hope you figure out a way to get your flat screen at least!!!

The Black Dog Crew with Jen

The Rocky Creek Scotties said...

We're hoping for the flat screen for you - maybe it will cover up some of that purple!

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

Peppy Sheppys said...

Poor Mango. None of us have the internal fortitude to go on a hunger strike except maybe Ethel who is really just picky. The man cave is most concerning and if you would like we could send you some football stuff to make you feel more manly.

Sheps w/Pep

Gus said...

Mango Man...we think refusing foodabbles was a brave thing to do. Stoopid, but very brave. We hope you and Dexter Dude are feeling better.

Gussie n teka

Tank said...

Mango - never, ever, ever would I consider a hunger strike. I don't know whether to be in awe that you could last more than 5 minutes on a hunger strike or to worry that you're losing some of your relentlessly huge marbles. I will meditate on this later today.

Frankie Furter said...

Pooor Mango... AND Dexter, That is such an UN-manly cave. I fear that you may be in for a long winter of horrible NightMares and such. OOOOOH... now that just might be the answer for you two. Start HOWLING... every time you are Forced into that... unfortunate location..
I'm thinkin 3 or 4 nights of that and .... MASTER will be grabbing the paint and brushes!!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

WE hope both you and Dexter are now back to normal food routines, you can't do that, Mango - not good for you. And we think maybe you should just give in to the new cave style and maybe that big screen will arrive.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Dozer and Coop said...

We completely understand. There is noting worse than when your humans miss the point of a hunger strike, fly off the handle and run to the vet with poop in a bag. Seriously, why do humans think that a poop in the hand is worth two in the bush?

Hang in there big guy,

Love, Dozer and Cooper

Busby and Raymond said...

We're glad you quit your hunger strike, Mango. We'd worry about you if you got all thin and Whippet-like.

Any idea why Pee Wee blew chunks? Did he eat something weird that he found on the grounds of the estate?

The Blab Labs said...

Do you not realize, oh mighty Mango, that in ancient time, the kings rejoiced to be among the few who could be disposed to decorate with precious purple. Indeed it was a sign of dignity and prosperity to have a home furnished in that luxurious and royal color.

I can't help you with those fruity curtains though. Can't you just pretend you thought they were bearing real fruit and eat them or at least destroy them?

Rufus and Indie said...

Our hoomans need to take us more seriously!

jen. said...

Ohhh Mango.... I'm sorry. That you were sickies and that your hunger strike didn't work. I'm also here to say, sorry that I coincidently deleted one of your comments. Just know I read it and passed it on to Bu before pressing the wrong button.

much love, Jen, Bu and baby Nella-bean.

Corbin said...

Dude, Mango... the purple has got to go! Glad you started eating again... those hungry strikes only hurt you!

I entered your contest dude... check out my entry: http://cutecorbin.blogspot.com/2010/09/so-i-saw-that-everyone-was-doing-things.html

-Corbin

mayziegal said...

Um, okay, Mango. I think you're full of the smarticles but a HUNGER STRIKE!? Have you suddenly lost your marbles? That's just a lose-lose situation all around. Meaning that only you lose. Maybe you oughta think about peeing on the curtains instead. You're tall enough to reach them, aren't you?

Wiggles & Wags,
mayzie

Paige said...

I have a puppy named Dexter, too! We love Mango, consider us new followers. Dex has a blog too:

http://dexterdiary.blogspot.com/

Kari in WeHo said...

Hunger strikes are a bad bad idea!

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

Oskar said...

Poor Mango! It was a valiant effort.

My mom person & I have created a new blog at www.PetBlogsUnited.com.

We'd love it if you would come over and check it out & become a member. It's a great new place for pet bloggers to find each other, and get an opportunity to be a featured blog!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I guess woo will need a better plan next time!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: The Xterra will have a furry special guest this Sunday - Mom will be driving a six month old PeeWeeEtte named Ashley - she's heading to a furever home in TuckerLand - any pointers fur Mom?

Tessa the Maltese said...

I say eat the bed and hurka hurka on the walls, then Mango really, pee on those ugly curtains! And the walls too!

Come on, what is going on???? Are you sure that your in the correct house? Pop ratting you out and Mom purlpeizing and girlafying your room? What gives?

We will keep thinking of something that gets your room fixed!

woo woos, Tessa

doyle and mollie said...

oh man you really are a tryer arf arf raf you scared us all with that last prank loves and licks

little princess Luna~ said...

mango you're sucha big pup--idk if the hunger strike would last.... :P
just sayin--bol.

xo,
luna

Mack said...

Dang it. Too bad the hunger strike didn't work. Mom says she likes your purple cave.

The Army of Four said...

I go on hunger strikes all the time, and trust me - they DON'T get you what you want. Hrumph!
Love,
Ammy

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Um...I refoosed my kibble this week too...cuz it had bananas on it...like it does every day...but I won't eat those slimy things any more I tell ya...

It's heavenly living here in your Lacie Den. I'm wonderin' if Momma could serve my breakfast on the purple pillow tomorrow? Two poached eggs on toast points with fresh melon and squeezed oj...preferable just picked oranges...

Oh...I don't ever eat before 0900....crack of dawn...

Beast XXOOO

Rufus and Indie said...

Hey Mango! We just did our post for your contest: http://doublewoof.blogspot.com/2010/09/just-like-mango.html

Thank you!!!

Samantha said...

Dear Mango,
I hope you are feeling much, much better by now - I can't even imagine me (or Avalon, for that matter) ever going on a hunger strike. Even if we were hurking and hurking, we'd still be up for eating anything lurking in our bowls. Sorry it didn't work out, but I hope you get something going re the purpleness in your cave. Hmmmmnnnn. Maybe you can get Peewee to hurk up the room a bit?
xoxoxoxo,
Sammie and Avalon

houndstooth said...

Oh, Mango! I am so very sorry that the hunger strike didn't work. I'd suggest explosive diarrhea to recolor those walls, but I'm afraid that would definitely lead to more inspection of your poop shoot, so perhaps not the best course of action.

Bunny

houndstooth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
houndstooth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zona said...

Hold everything.... you get TEN cups of food a day???? I need to go talk to my mom about this. I think I'm malnourished!!!

Glad you're eating betters!

Wags,
Zona

Agatha and Archie said...

WHOAAAAA your den looks great but DUDE you are sooo asking for it... A PURPLE BED???? PURPLE?? YOU WILL NEVER get rid of her.. SHe will be there ALL THE TIME.. seriously think about this.... try another tactic like refusing to go outside to do your business( WHOA that is a good one Arch..) Let us know how that works we got a million of them.. Love A+A

The Boston Lady said...

Mango, I usually don't leave you comments because you usually have so many and I know I would get lost in the shuffle. Still know I will, but you have to know that I blew chunks (a human!) laughing while reading this most funny post. I know you do not think it is funny, but as the mom of two canines I could not contain myself. You and Dexter never fail to make me laugh and today, well, you know, you made me blow, you know..... chunks. But good ones.

Huskee and Hershey said...

Awww... poor Mango! That's not how you should be treated. Ok thanks mate for the tip on hunger strikes.. I shall not ever attempt it.

Lorenza said...

Mango!
Life in Purple! Hmmm...
Looks like things don't go right there in your house!
Hunger strike?? Nope. You need to try a different approach!
Good luck!
And glad you are eating again!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Maggie and Mitch said...

So now Dexter is queezie and getting sick over your purple room. What a bummer that the hunger strike didn't work! Keep meditating - another idea will come to you, Mango!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

tula said...

Hey mango woo's DOH is no joke. she goes straight to the v word with the stuff. okay.. hunger strike. bad idear. check!

EEEWwwwww have to ask.. were the chunks purple too?

cya
tula

twinkietinydog said...

Sorry pal, but my hunger strikes work perfectly for me. Got your message though and I'll share with other, less fortunate than me, furiends.
Twinkie

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Poor poor Mango!!! Sorry about your man cave!

ocmist said...

You need to call MPS (Mastiff Protective Services)and report this affront to your dignity! Goodness, your really went overboard on the "Not eating" thing. THAT is NOT a viable protest around here! The CCC