Sunday, October 24, 2010

Halloween and Slobbers by Dexter


Boy do I ever hate Halloween. I am just a natural kind of dog and even though I have long since lost the battle to go around nekked, the only article of clothing that I wear regularly is my collar. Sure, in the winter I agree to a reflective vest for night walkies, but that is where I draw the line.

I know lots of doggies dress up for Halloween, but I hate it. Now, some relentlessly huge monster dogs think nothing of making total idiots of themselves.

Check out you know who. A bumble bee? Are you insane?



What? Where did this photo come from? Must by photoshopped.




You know what else? I had to crop the bottom off this picture. Wanna know why? Can you say "lipstick?"





You know you are in trouble when one of the keywords for you blog posts is "slobber." Now I have frequently seen comments on OUR blog with words like, "oh I always wanted a mastiff" or "Mango is so adorable, I would love to smooch him."

To which I reply, are you freakin kidding me?

Any sane human really want to live with the slobber beast? Seriously. The slobbers on our CEILING are one of the main attractions during tours of the estate. Not to mention slobbers on the TV, kitchen cabinets, furniture, MY BED, and various guests.

But worst of all is... oh man! Is there something on my head?


Crap! On my beautiful feathered labratail too. ICK!



See what I put up with? How can I be expected to go out in public like this? So wrong.


Dexter done!

61 comments:

Sam and Pippen said...

Dude,

We are so with you on the slobber and luckily for us so is our mom... Sure the relentlessly huge is cute and all but the slobber... eewww!

When our mom was looking at dogs before she decided on our magnificent selves... she wanted a Saint Bernard until she saw the slobber!

Sam and Pippen

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Oh Mango looks so cute in his bumblebee outfit!


xoxo
Pumpkin

Peppy Sheppys said...

Aw, look at the little Mangobee and the Monxter! Feed it a banana! Our ma ape always thinks she wants to smooch Mango because he is so adorable, especially when he does tricks w/your Momma.

Sheps w/Pep, Otis & Edgrr

P.S. That Control Unleashed lady is in Philly and our ma ape thinks she might take OBST to see her because he needs to get under control, leashed or unleashed (especially leashed.) She sez he acts like a Tula Monstah with strangers. Phhhbt.

Raymond and Busby said...

Mango was obviously excited about being a bumblebee. (ha ha!)

Twix said...

But Dexter, you look so adorable in your costume! And, clothes will protect your beautiful furs from the slobber monster!
Snuggles,
Twix

houndstooth said...

We're right there with you on the slobber issue, Dexter! Also, I guess he thought a bee needed to show its stinger.

You look darned cute in your costume, though!

Bunny

Roo said...

Sorry labradude heh heh heh you got slobbered big time :)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

PeeS: That's the biggest bumble bee I've ever seen. Can it fly?

Bouncing Bertie said...

Oh Dexter, all that slobber, how ever do you cope? I mean, might that not be an argument for wearing all-over protective waterproof clothing, so you could be hosed down without getting cold. I'm sure there must a be appropriate Halloween costume somewhere... (That said, I am SO grateful that dressing up dogs for Halloween is not a part of any tradition in my part of the world...)
Toodle pip!
Bertie.

Frankie Furter said...

Dexter..DUDE.. the clothes provide a super SHIELD from the Slobbers. Go with the Flow... hehehe

Jen said...

Oh dear Dexter!! That is EXACTLY why we don't have a Newfoundland like I originally wanted. Too much slobber!!!!

And, if I didn't know any better, I would swear you were smiling in that dress up pic. But, I won't tell that I really believe secretly you like it! ;)

Jen and the Black Dog Crew

Elyse said...

All I can say is poor Dexter! The RH slobbers are gross!

Elyse and Riley

Kari in WeHo said...

Mango is an adorable Bee :)

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

rottrover said...

Poor Dexter. Your life is just one constant trial.

Sue said...

Man, that is one huge, scary bumble bee.

Our Mom isn't big on slobber, but sometimes after a big runaround, she has to wipe off faces and other areas.

Lola said...

The Bumble Bee is a classic. It just is. Dexter, you how life is funny sometimes? Well, I don't slobber. Oh, in very, very extreme circumstances involving way too much exercise I might work up a teeny lady-like foam that dissipates on its own. So, our dumb humans never gave slobber much thought when they invited Franklin to live with us. Let me tell you his slobber production is impressive for a dog his size! And he foams up at the drop of a bone. So, I sympathize. Even though I live with a doggy of the same breed, I get slobbered on without slobbering back.

lotsa licks, Lola

Sally Ann said...

Dexter,
You look amazing and most handsome yourself. Don't let your big brother upset you to much. He loves you, and you love him; but, I'm sure you wouldn't ever bark that out loud. Y'all both look great. I think Slobber is the way your big brother shows you that he loves you.
Sally Ann

Samantha said...

Awww Dexter - sorry you HATE Halloween so much, but I understand... totally. I don't know how my new sis is going to react wearing an "outfit," but I know I don't like attachments to my furs at all. Still, have to say that Mango looks pretty cute as a King Bee, if he'd stop buzzin' 'round yourself and belongings with slobbers!
Hugs xoxoxo
Sammie and Avalon

Maggie Mae said...

I tinks you both look rather nice in your costumes...;)

WOofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

PeeS Tanks fur da heads up 'bouts not being able to comment on my post today. We are good to go now!

JD and Max said...

Hi Dexter,

Oh, we were rolling on the floor howling with laughter when we saw Mango the bumble bee! We SO agree with you on the costume front - our humans don't really do the whole halloween thing (it's not so big in the UK) but we start getting nervous around Christmas as the humans start to want to dress us up - eek.....!

And hey - we met a St Bernard on our morning walk today. He was so gentle and sweet (with the deepest bark we've ever heard!) and great to play with but being somewhat littler dudes than him we almost DROWNED in his slobber. So yup - we feel your pain!

Schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.

1000 Goldens said...

Oh Dex, it is not easy living with the Mango suds! At least Momma put him in a bumble bee suit :)

Aksharaa said...

Hi Dex,
I can empathise with u.Being a labradawg u will agree that though we LOVE food, we are generally not known for our slobbering habits.But the story with Buddy here is different.
Buddy + exercise=slobbers. Buddy+smell of food=slobbers, Buddy+car ride=slobbers. Buddy+summer=slobbers.
I think he has re defined slobbers in labradawgs!
I know how u feel about Mango...
But then, Mango, please dont mind...we mean u ARE a PAWESOME dude , but u DO look kinda CUTE in the Bumbble bee outfit...HAR har har...hee hee..
Buddy n Ginger

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Uh, no costumes for us this year, but we do love seeing others in them:) Too bad about the slobber, Dex, but you know you would be lost without your lovable big brother.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Priscilla said...

Oh poor you, Dexter!
Slobber's not so bad. You just ... you know ... get used to it!
I'm sorry it had to go on your beautiful silky black coat.
If it makes you feel any better, I do like your halloween costume!

Lacy said...

w00fs, hmm u looks handsome in your costumes...and whoever said ware clothes and cuts down on slobber wuz rite..

b safe,
rocky

Tessa the Maltese said...

Dex, the Halloween costumes look WAY BETTER than the slobber!

woo woos, Tessa

Bruce from Down Under said...

Hi Dexter, I agree with you about Halloween. It seems to be gaining popularity down here in Oz. I'm not even sure what its supposed to be about. Anyway about the slobber thing. Just relax. Its good for your coat. Also good for humans too if they rub it in. Makes their skin soft. Anyway thats what I reckon. No worries, slobbers Bruce.

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

No doubt about it, Halloween has a strange effect on humans. Fortunately, #1 is over there and I am still here!

Woofs,
Tommy

Lorenza said...

I hope Mango does not read this... but I had a good laugh looking at him wearing the bee costume!
And those are lots of slobbers!
Happy Sunday!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Martha and Bailey said...

Dexter, there is nothing wrong with slobber, some of the best dog breeds slobber you know......!
Mango was just the cutest bumble bee but we don't think he wants to look cute.
YOu look adorable yourself.
We hope you turn up at our door for Halloween.
love
Martha and Bailey xx
ps we have slobber on the ceiling in our house ..... really it is the must have accessory!

rottrover said...

slobber is the new black...

Niamh said...

We are with you Dexter. Barbara has promised that we will never be subjected to costumes. We like our collars and will wear a bandana for special events but we say NO to costumes, outfits and clothes of any kind.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Oh Dexter you are so miss treated. You need to come on over. We don't slobber and we get to go to the lake.. hehe

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Ms. ~K said...

Someone, please get a towel for Bexter and a bib for RH!

Ms. ~K said...

Someone, please get a towel for Bexter and a bib for RH!

Oskar said...

OK, that slobber situation is a little...um...gross.

We would love to use your costume pics for the Pet Blogs United Photo of the Day & for the Halloween Parade!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Maggie and Mitch said...

You are just too cute as an over-sized bumblebee, Mango!
Thank doG our mom doesn't make us dress up! Bless her!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

EWWWWWWWWW...honestly, it would be a bit better if it didn't smell like um slobber....

Do you think Mango, you could scent it?

Just sent bruvver for Halloween shopping...he found red wigs with pigtails...but Mumsie said tooooo $$$$$...so no wigs...we're never going to outdo the ballet outfits from last year....

Kisses, Darling and Peewee too...

Lacie

Thanks for going to Scribbles bloggie...isn't it pawsome! Do you think I could get her to come to a makeup class?

Kasha The Dainty Great Dane said...

HI Dexter and Mango...long time no bark from me I know...my hooman is lazy. But that photo of Dexter with all of Mango's slobber on him is too funny. I know I slobber but nothing like his Mangoness! Happy early Halloween...love the bee costume.

AARF Kasha the Dainty Great Dane

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

A 230lb bumblebee, huh? Wow. That's something you don't see every day. We're with you on the costume thing - both Abby and I prefer to go around nekkid, other than for our collars (and Mom is making some threat about snow boots for our winter walkies...). And as much as we love Mango, Mom has a friend who has a mastiff, and lets just say that their stories about him and eggs have scared Mom into non-goober dogs such as myself (apparently the mastiff in question REALLY likes scrambled eggs.... and you know how, uh, goobery those mastiffs can get when they REALLY like a foodable... yeah... they know all about cleaning goobers off the ceiling...)...

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

The Teacher's Pets said...

Mango,
I hate to admit this but I am one of THOSE PEOPLE who enjoys seeing dogs in costume. I know costumes don't meet your approval (and I can understand why) but the crazy humans tend to think of dogs as human babies or toddlers and we just can't get enough of outfitting our pooches. I know Cesar Milan doesn't approve of dog costumes but Halloween only lasts once a year and you should be thankful that your parents only dress you once and that's it! There's other dogs who are not as lucky as you!

Gracie =^o.o^= and Hugo said...

I'm with you on this one. Dressing up the furries for Halloween, I don't get it! The mom here dressed me up and let's just say during the photo shoot I bit her. Good thing I am a little kittie and not a big doggie like you. If you were to bite her I think you would gobble all of her up.
You do look cute in your costume!

Homer said...

A ha! Ha! Ha! Dude, you are so cute! That is one huge bumble bee I've seen! What was Dexter supposed to be? One of Robin Hood's merry man?

Like you, I'm not a big fan of Halloween. I don't know what the Missus has in her warped mind.

Love,
Homer

Asta said...

Dextew
I must say, at the wisk of being huwtful and woode..I looove The welentlessly hooge ,but pwefewably fwom afaw.
I don't like bafs and if I was awound the Mango, Mommi would make me take one twice a day
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Just IMAGINE how the Siberian floooof would stikhk to the suds!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Dex, you've been slimed. Maybe Ghost Busters can be your Halloween theme this year? Dexter Momma could get you a yellow rainsuit and some goggles and a little tank to carry on your back. Mama doesn't put us in clothes, which is a good thing, although seeing how fast we could tear them off of each oher might be fun.

Jed & Abby

Benny and Lily said...

Oh how I would love a Mastiff with a spit guard over his head..BOL... love the costumes guys
Benny & Lily

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Oh Big Me's!!!
Loves 'da Bumbled bee's costumes!! hu hu's!!

and 'da drools on big adventures head!!
too funny!!
Me slobbers just like yous on me sisters melon shaped noggins!! Snorts...
Great post!!
Laters,
Yous Twinner,
Anakin Man

TwoSpecialWires said...

We know you love him, Dexter. That's all that matters.

xxoo
Jake and Fergi

Carrie and Waffle said...

Dex- buy the slobber beast a bib!

Piappies World said...

Hey Dexter!

Is that you in that cute suit?! That's terrific! Mango does look very adorable with the bumble bee suit.

Suds or no suds, you and Mango make the perfect pair!

Happy trick or treat!

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai & Wai-Max

Noah the Airedale said...

Errrr yeah there is definitely something grose on your head mate.

Noah x

Tucker said...

How did Mango find a costume that fit? I have no costume yet cause I can't find one big enough.

woof - Tucker

Levi Mac said...

Oh Dexter dude, you are missing out! The costumes not only bring lots of nummy treats, but the lady's loves too! Double bonus! Mango has the idea- look cute, get the good stuff!

PeeS. All that slobber is gross!! His next costume needs a mouth guard!

rottrover said...

PS, love the new SCARRY halloween Dexter header!!

Hound Girl said...

I love it im not the only one cleaning slobber off the ceiling. I hate when Fred gets it on the flat screen tvs grrrr.

doyle and mollie said...

we hate to say it but we think you make a pretty cute bumblebee there mango... loves and licks xxx

Honey the Great Dane said...

Hee! Hee! I get great amusement every year in October watching you American doggies getting tortured for Hallowe'en! :-)

Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

road-dog-tales said...

Oh, Dexter, you poor thing - you must have to get a bath waaaayy too often to get those Mango slobbers off you!
We don't really like the dressing up much either although sometimes we're cajoled into it. BUT, we do like to see other dogs dressed up:)
The Road Dogs

Sarge said...

Hey Dexter!
Wow, that's a lot of big dog drool! You both look great in your costumes, even if you don't like them. If you humor the humans you might get trick-or-treat candy! YUM. Really sorry about the slobber, dude. That's rough.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge

kissa-bull said...

oh my goodness those awe the cutest costumes ever
but wowie that slobber!!!
poor poor labradudester

pibble sugars
the pittie pack

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Hi Mango,

I saw your picture on the My Pet Haven contest page. Good luck in the contest!

xoxo
Pumpkin