Saturday, October 16, 2010

Shocking Saturday - Nekked Humans

I spotted this article in our local paper recently which has caused me some concern.

In short, some lady thinks it is not fair for the man persons to be allowed to go around topless whilst it is considered lewd for female persons to do the same.

I say this is going in the wrong direction! Because one of the horrors of the summer months for my sensitive self is the sight of fleshy man humans all running about with no shirts and their wiggly tummies and man breasts jiggling and flashing like the mighty orca beaching. Totally WTF, right?

Now if the ladies are allowed to join in, will I, Mango, be forced to gaze upon the rolling flesh of the more full figured gals in the neighborhood? The mind boggles.

I think momma agrees, well, except for some of the hunky (her word, not mine) tool time guys that come to the estate to help master with the heavy lifting. Left to her own devices I have no doubt she would purchase a heat lamp to shine on them even on the coldest days and compel them to remove their tops and cool their well muscled selves. Nasty.

Not to mention this is New England, not France, OK? No nekkedness allowed! In fact if it were up to me, even the toned and svelte mans and womens would exercise more modesty during the warm months. Goodness, I learn far too much about the constructs of many humans due to them all flashing their selves at me. Even I, Mango, have a difficult time conversing with a womans when her gazoongees are all flopping in my face no matter how firm and round. We must cling to our puritanical, mixed up ways, thank you very much. What next? Selling liquor after 8PM on a Sunday? End of days, I tell you.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Check out this movie that Norwood's mom took at skool a few weeks back. Sometimes at skool we have agilities relay race competitions. As you can see by my speed and dexterity, I am quite an asset to either team. No doubt that is why I am always picked last... save the best for last, right?

42 comments:

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

Oh Dear, Mango... We feel we really must point out that ladies do not as a rule run around topless over here. That is a strange fad which became widespread way down south for a while, but we hear it has gone out of fashion even there. Maybe the last holdouts decided to move to MangoLand?

Woofs,
Tommy (in France...)

Mack said...

Nothing worse than Moobs....

Winterdark said...

Hmm. No shirts on women is allowed where I live Mango. Can't say I ever saw a lady going around that way. Mom says it mostly happens on beaches. I stay away from those. Too much water.

Bolo

The Paw Relations said...

Mango, we have to agreed with everything you've said. There is nothing more vomit inducing then the flabby fleshy moob jigglytastic bare chested man.

Round here some have bigger moobs then mum has boobs and that's not right!

Roo said...

Oh my Mango. You New Englanders really do run around in the cold all nekked? Makes me have more bumps on my bod than I should just thinkin bout it! =0

Maybe you should bury your momma's heat lamp. Could get her into a bit of a spot I'm thinkin ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

thedreadpiratejack said...

I fink all boobs and moobs should be covered it's not a good look on hoomans to let it all hang out, lets be onest too as they get older & gravity visits more often it is not a pretty sight I know I has seen my Ma nekkid ( Scared the wotsits out of me I can tell yu )
So Keep em covered it wot I say
Lovs
Richie
x x

Jen said...

Thank goodness it's too cold in Canada, even in summer, to go topless! lol, alright, it's probably not, but still!! Yikes, my dogs would be covering their eyes, I am sure!!

And, of course, they are saving the best to last Mango!!!

BTW, the small dog around here has taken a shine to you... so, it's not just Sophie batting eyes at Dexter pics anymore, I have to contend with Murphy jumping on the desk to get a closer look at you too!!

Jen and the Black Dog Crew

Frankie Furter said...

I'm with you here buddy. I think that two leggers Lost all their Furs... just so they would be forced to REALLY cover their.. SHIVER.. UGH... Nasty lookin'..NOT FANTASTICAL DawgLike Bodies.
I mean there is NOTHING better to look at than a bit of Dawg Bits and Pieces peeking through furs.. Whhhhhoooooo .. Oooops I just had a Vision of Ruby and Penny flash before my eyes. slobber pant pant
BUTT.. Two Legger bodies should be covered from EARS to PAWS..

The Boston Lady said...

Mango, my better half, Mr. Tennis, and I encountered one of these topless females in South Beach, Miami this last spring. The sight was so ghastly that Mr. T could not help staring. Now, wait a minute, now that I remember it more clearly, the "lady" in question was a hardbody college chick. Excuse me, I need to go have a word with my husband...

AFSS said...

Nekkid humans are ............. well all we has to say is they looks better well covered up. Honestly they needs furs all over their bodies. (Shuddering at the thought of seeing a nekkid human)

Lola said...

I totally agree. They'd be so much better off if they could just grow fur everywhere. Shed when it's warm out, grow extra during the cold weather. They'd save a lot of money on clothes and then they could spend that on cheese. Maybe science will find a way to fur them up in time.

Oh, and your agilities were most impressive.

lotsa licks, Lola

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Good thing woo don't have to see what I have to see each day -

I'm just sayin'

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Apple Pie!

mayziegal said...

I always feel very much sorry for humans having to wear clothes cuz they can't grow their own furs. So I guess if they wanna go without clothes, it's okay. Cuz, well, I don't wear any. But why would they WANT to? It would seem to make 'em, um, a little vulnerables.

Oh, and my mom says my opinions are most definitely NOT hers. No free-flopping boobs or moobs for her!

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Kari in WeHo said...

eeeew man boobs

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

Zona said...

Shocking Saturday, indeed!!

Wags,
Zona

Raymond and Busby said...

Mango, we would think that very soon it will be too cold to be nude in MA.

Have a great weekend!

Wild Dingo said...

I have a word for men's boobs or man boobs: Moobs. and they are just wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong.

Sarge said...

Hey Mango.
I totally agree. Even I don't go outdoors without my colar and a snazzy bandana, but doggies are perfectly perfect in their nakedness. People not so much. I'm not sure my eyes could stand nekked peoples. Uggg
Grr and Woof,
Sarge

Lacy said...

w00fs, hmmm, i thinks it to high over my head so early to think about nekkidness...heehee mama says some men need to stay covered up, and some not...(evil grin)...my daddy runs around in the house wiff his little bloomers on all the time...

b safe,
~rocky

Sue said...

Saving the best for last. Wish I'd thought of that in high school when I was last chosen for teams. I like your attitude.

As for human nudity, my dogs follow me everywhere. There is no going into the bathroom without the whole pack coming along. They climb in the shower and hang over the bathtub. I guess nudity doesn't bother these hot blooded Portuguese.

TOBY PUPPY in SA said...

Hey Mr Mango...

I knew there was a reason why you didn'st come and lived in Africa last year when you came on your adventures! mmmmm...now we know!, BOL!

Oh by the way....Momma says that you are rather a tall dog...and suggests that when the 'shakeables' come your way, it would be simple to just 'down', (then the shakeables won't be in your face.).... (Not sure it dat is gonna work though...cause then they bend down too!)

Momma also says she remembers your 'Mr Rick', the hunk! When is he coming back?...we wanna see more of him!

Lotsalicks

TOBY PUPPY IN SA

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Mango, we are left speechless - what is happening to Massachusetts? Humans really can be silly sometimes.

Great agility run, or walk or amble.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Mango, there aren't many 'regular' folks who look good nekked - nope, not many. Our momma said that if anyone saw her in her birthday suit they would go blind!☺

Niamh said...

Thank dogness you did not post any pictures of topless humans Mango. I would have a heart attack from the shock of it. We are so that we have beautiful fur instead of pale skin. Wouldn't it be nice if people were apricot brindle or black and tan?

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

houndstooth said...

Oh Mango, I so hear you! It'd be different if humans had fur on their bodies or something! They're just so naked and fleshy.

Bunny

road-dog-tales said...

We're with ya Mango Man! It's bad enough to have to put up with it in your own home on occasion ;) but strangers out in public is just too much!
We're gonna go check out your video now.
The Road Dogs

El'bow and Hauwii said...

OH! i(el'bow) always walk topless
doesnt botter me =D

ooohwel

nice jumps!!! you show those non-mastiffs how great we are :D

Kissslobbers
El'bow & Hauwii

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Hu Hu's!!! oh Big Me's!!

Me agrees!! No shoes, no socks...
NO SHIRTS>>no services!! Me's an offended Puppy Mastiff when me see 'da naughty bits all wrongy being thrown around in places 'dat aren't 'da beach..
Me saw a man pumping gas in a speedo... me eyes!!! Me was on Mommys lap and her was just as scared as me and Daddy got in 'da car and covered me eyeballs...hu hu's!!
Den when Mommy runs in grocery story and tells me 'da some peeps in deres wits swimming attire on's... to buy what?? Smokes or cheese doodles...
Mommy says her eyeballs gets offended...snorts!!

Me's likes yous video!!
Me's can do 'dats same stuffs!! hu hu's!!

How's yous mini mini me's doings?

Catch ups later!!
Yous Twinner,
Anakin Man

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Abby is still in a gentile Southern swoon from this report of nekiddness in New England! Some people truly have too much time and too little to do with it, working to get an "issue" like that on the ballot. Mama agrees with the mayor in the article.

You are absolutely right about the best being chosen last. Who wouldn't want the Mango as the Anchor Man on their team!

Jed

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

We agree with Mom, the hunky guys can take those shirts off anytime.. hehe
Mango what speed you were almost a blurr...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Elyse said...

Mango, you rocked that agility video! What was Norwood's claim to fame in that video? A down stay? Methinks you have him beat...this time. Don't know what's up with the nekkid women!! We voted in your I wanna be like Mango contest but just now started following you...oops. Blame that on Mom!

Elyse and Riley

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Shades of the Topfree Seven!

Benny and Lily said...

Mango all those things should be covered except in New Orleans of course.
Benny & Lily

The Island Cats said...

Maybe the humans should wear furs...like we do!! Fake furs for them, of course!!

Honey the Great Dane said...

Oh wow, Mango - am so impressed by that video! Me & Hsin-Yi felt so proud watching you - especially to see you in that class there with so many doggies around you - and you following your Momma around and listening to her commands and doing all that cool Agilities stuff...and to think - not that long ago - you thought you could never leave your garden!

Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

Tucker said...

We've got neeked protesters up here too. I don't know why everyone wants to be neeked. The economy isn't that bad, we can still affords clothes.

woof - Tucker

Murphy Dogg said...

If lady boobs were allowed out in public, Mama says nothing would ever get done cause all the dudes would be drooling all over themselves & running to the bathroom every five seconds. Not sure what for?

rottrover said...

Mango Man, we are very impressed with your agilities abilities!!

PeeeEss, MangoMama, we fixed our profile thigy so we can get emails - just so we won't be so unreachable :)

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

Hey Mango - you were really moving there, in a Mango-ish sort of way. Nice going!
your pals, Morgan & Maisie

rottrover said...

PeeS, Love the new kissy face header! Mango really does love the Pee Wee :-)

Kitty+Coco said...

Two words : GAG ME. We know very few people who could really be topless and look good. The rest of us need all of the "support" we can get. Men, I am speaking to you too.

Kitty and Coco

dewdana said...

I have to agree on the nekkidness. In general the people who go around half nekkid are the ones who really should not. We live in a tropical touristy place where some visitors forget that not all of us are on vacation so it is not uncommon to see peoples in their swimming clothes in the grocery store! Ick! half nekkid bodies around food stuffs... not nice!
I think you did a super job at agilities