Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Something is Up and I Don't Like It

Yuh, well the first thing that is up is that the DOH has been hogging my bloggy with all her stupid blue italicized words. What the heck? Does it say Momma's Big Adventures? I think not.

But on to more disturbing items. Twice now, I have gone about my business like a regular guy only to be awakened from my meditations most unceremoniously and feeling quite odd. Like somebody turned the lights out and turned the heat way up and messed about with my coordinations. I am told that somebody called the Seizure Monster crept up and attacked me during my vulnerable moments. WTF?

Momma even showed me a movie she took of the alleged seizure monster visiting me. As if! I know they can do anything with videos nowadays. Hey! I saw the Matrix, OK? And if they can make Keanu Reeves look like he can act they can do anything. Obviously a fake.

I was a little embarrassed to have discovered that I wet my bed. The Mango has never ever peed inside. Even when I was a baby. How did that happen? Then to make matters worse the evil witch rubbed me down with ass wipes. Yes, you heard me, ass wipes. I mean the rubbing part felt good, but come on already.

And PeeWee? He is as moody as a little girl. One minute he is all growly at me and the next he is practically sleeping in my bed!

Does this look like a sane dog to you?

He also is sporting what I consider the most ridiculous fur trim ever. Momma keeps putting white powder on it. That's why it looks so funny. I think he is sorry he asked for that fur cut because he is always trying to rub it off. The DOH says he better stop it or he will get coned. Now THAT would be scary.

I'll tell you what else. Things are really BORING around here. All I hear is, "Oh, Mango, you need to take it easy" or "Mango, I don't want to walkie you today and stress you out." Stress? Huh? Sigh. Gone are the halcyon days when I went to funballs skool with TM and Norwood. Check out these action movies from our last day of class.

First me and Tula in a RACE! Can you hear her flirting with me? Roo roo roo. Watch it here.

Then me and some labragoon. He is no match for my speed. Watch it here.

And finally getting ever so close to the lovely Tula herself. I can tell she likes me. Watch it here.

I am most appreciative of all your good thoughts because I really don't know how I can defend myself alone if this cowardly seizure monster is going to come a calling when I am in dreamland.

Oh yeah, and I am supposed to clarify that the special vet, my good friend, was to give attentions to my large and not well gaited bottom but I am not even going to get to visit her now because momma is all like, "Oh Mango, that long drive and all the poking and prodding is not good for you right now so I will just call your regular vet, OK?" Well, not OK, because I know nice Dr. Rogers was aiming to give me a full body massage and my regular vet is just going to want to steal my blood and whatnot. Plus she doesn't even have handicapped access and I am forced to haul my large and not wanting to go up and down stairs self, well, up and down stairs. For what? To get my DNA removed for their black market Mango based products?

And don't even get me started on visiting my friends. Sometimes I can get some computer time whilst momma is at work, but for reasons which I do not fully understand it is harder for me to log in when I know she is super busy at the work place. Must be my empathetic nature. And when she gets home? Well, I can't complain about that part since she is snuggling with me instead of reading bloggies. Sorry, pals.

At least I got to play tennis ball a little bit this morning.

Look at me go!

Actually, we both played tennis ball.

To be honest, I felt a bit fatigued after just a few tosses. But I discovered that it is quite easy to enjoy a game of keep away from the PeeWee from a recumbent posture if the proximity of the tennis ball is correctly aligned with my large and jaws of doom with an alarmingly long reach self.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oh Mango. Poor guy. But thankfully you still have a sense of humor to get through the day. That keanu Reeves comment was very VERY funny. not often do we REALLY LOL at the computer screen

Kea said...

Mango, we came over from Raymond and Busby's blog to sends you purrs and healing Light. We don't have any experience with this kind of monster, but we sure hope it stops attacking you and that you'll be okay!

-The Fuzzy Tales crew

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Mango, we think we would like to meet Tula every day if we could get treated like that - lots and lots of tasty goodies.

We are so sorry to hear that the monster came back so soon. We sure hope today is quieter for you. We don't know what to suggest to the Momma for what to do for you while she is away. Try not to get hurt, OK, big guy?

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Frankie Furter said...

Oh Mango I am sooooo very much glad that you got to have some blog time. It sounds like you are back to normal to me. Whew. I was kinda scared there fur a while.
Im thinkin that I read some where that eating LOTS and LOTS of Turkey was very good for keeping this S. Monster away.
Now while you are away from the computer maybe you can start thinkin about activities and what now for the much anticipawted...
I'm just sayin'.
Happy Turkey Day to you and Dexter and your momma and master.

Minna Krebs said...

Mango Man! I agree with the Wolfies.....my momma spittled her coffee about da Matrix and Keanu Reeves comment! We had to regroup and begin reading again!!

I say enjoy all the extra quality time with da mom! Soon enough her will have hotdogs raining down on your RH self and expect you to 'leave it'


Winterdark said...

Your Momma needs to train Pee-Wee to keep the Seizure Monster away. I'd help you with that Mango, I'm a good guard dog. We're sending healing vibes and guarding vibes to keep that seizure monster away!


Pei-Ess - Mom sends cuddles too.

Wild Dingo said...

Ya, that DOH hogging the blog. who does she think she is with that itallicized and CENTERED to boot text? Thank goodness the real editor and journalist is back.

now about those seizure monsters... are you sure they aren't talking about Ceaser Milan? I mean, if I had him near me, i'd wet myself too. all i need to hear is that "ssshhh" he says and I'd pee my pants.

i loved seeing those videos of you in skool! running free with tula... makes my heart sing. I think you will be back there. i think once they figure out how to deal with this, you'll be back there. here's a thought: i wonder if your sudden weight loss has anything to do with this? hmmm...

Levi Mac said...

So glad to see you are back up to feeling like some tennis ball! The power of da paw! Now we just has to keep using it to keep that evil monster away! Good to hear from you today dude!

Levi Mac said...

So glad to see you are back up to feeling like some tennis ball! The power of da paw! Now we just has to keep using it to keep that evil monster away! Good to hear from you today dude!

Aniemother said...

Glad you're feeling better, buddy. We couldn't seem to get our comment through yesterday (even though we would have been first and efurrything). We hope both you, your Momma and Dexter will feel more relaxed soon. You're pretty lucky to have your very own seizure dog, though.. (BTW that doesn't mean you can blame Dexter for the seizures)

Purrs and kisses,
Bajas, Virus and Hyssy

Cara n Crew said...

Mango, we learned about you from Raymond and Busby's blog. We don't know anything about seizure monsters though we wanted to send you our purrs for comfort. Love your tennis ball guarding technique :).

3fraidy cats: Pip, Smidgen, Minnie

Sam and Pippen said...


We don't have a seizure monster here... just a cat that likes to lick our bum... maybe it's the same thing? Anyway, if you needs a couple of hobbits to look out for you, let us know and we'll catch a bus right away!

Sam and Pippen

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

We are about to hit the road bakhk to Pawsylvania BUT should I have my DOH program in the address of your estate instead?

Maybe some FT is what woo need?!?

OR some PT with Tula and me!

Paws khrossed and tail fluffed fur woo AND The DOH!

PeeEssWoo: Maybe all that khlikhking triggers 'em

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Oh Mango, I hope you are feeling better soon!


kmp said...

oh mango! we think you should stay away from that vet guy...he's selling that essence of mango to trader joe's i bet!!

Raymond and Busby said...

Mango, we hope today is a good day for you and all of your subjects there on the estate. We wonder if instead of seizures you are just having horrible nightmares about the Red Sox 2010 season? Or maybe dreaming about Tom Brady's long hair?

We hope it all gets resolved soon, we're purring for you! Dexter is sleeping way too close to your bed. Maybe you could fake a seizure and pee on him?

Pearl said...

Oh Mango, my darling. I have been thinking about you so much! This seizure monster better TAKE A HIKE! I am so mad at him!

Sorry the momma is acting crazy. They tend to do that. Take it easy, buddy!


Anonymous said...

Mango, Mango, Mango. I know it's hard to keep taking naps and resting all day. You must feel very left out of the fun. But your human is worried about you. It's a good thing, I promise. It means she will protect you as best she can from the monster hurting you any more. You're just going to have to put up with her fussing over you in the mean time. That's not so hard, right?

I hope you get back to class soon! I'm sure that Tula is missing you.

Kari in WeHo said...

oh mango i hope the seizure monster stays away


Ms. ~K said...

Paws are crossed here...Do what Mom
says, take it easy and enjoy all the attention...even from PeeWee!
We love you Mango!
~K and The Pups

Big hug for you MangoMom!!!

Samantha said...

Mango - must say... we also a-rroood over Keanu and the Matrix jibe! Too, too funny! Things must seems confusing when Momma shows you movies that you can't believe are/is you and Peewee growls at you, then sleeps by your side. I would be flummoxed - definitely. But we're happy to see you running after the ball (love your Momma's "tosser"!), even if you get tired. We hope hope hope that the beast awakening you at night will cease and desist. We are thinking lots about you and your Momma.
Hugs xoxoxo
Sammie and Avalon

Stella said...

Hey Mango:

I am pretty sure more treatz is what you need to overcome this monster. Have the DOH go to the pet store and pick up 8 or 11 bags of treatz. Leave some assorted ones in your bowl to eat at will. This will probably put you in a state of torpitude where you can sleep and avoid any seizure visits.

Just what I would do! Get well soon and I hope Peewees head gets fixed.


Dog Foster Mom said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the monster that has been visiting you lately. It must be especially scary for your mom. I am sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

Strange times, eh Mango?!

The basic rule is "Monsters Need to Be Kept at Bay!" so we advise letting the vet do her thing...

Woofs and Purrs,
Tommy and The Chans

Oskar said...

That seizure monster better get OUT! We residents of blogville will get the power of prayer and send him away!

Nubbin wiggles,

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Yeah, we had noticed all the blue italicized center type and knew that something evil was afoot. A couple of comments: 1) Dexter is all moody because he's got that silly fur cut and is afraid that he is going to look like a dork in all Thanksgiving photos that are taken, 2) I'd pee on a purple bed, too, and I haven't peed inside since I was a wee bitty thing, 3) if we see an influx of 'essence of Mango' products on store shelves, we will boycott the store and set up a picket line. Or is it a picket fence? Whatever. We'll make sure they know we aren't going to spend Mom's plastic at any store that sells contraband bits of our friend. In the meantime, enjoy playing keep-away in that relentlessly huge way of yours (I wish I could master that...) and laugh at Dexter's funny fur cut because you can!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

Hope you kick that seizure monster's butt, Mango!! Feel better, our furiend!!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

Anonymous said...

Mango Dude! I am sorry you have the "shake rattle roll around on the floor" sickness again. I had it once at the dog park and it scared me and 'your woman' so bad. Dude! What is wrong with taking it easy? Lie about all day, get pets, and treats, and watch General Hospital on the tube. Woohoo! Feel better - Your Dude Friend, Cosmo


Barbara said...

We are glad you are feeling better. I would be happy to send Minnie or Trixie to guard you against the Seizure Monster, but I hear Dex is very good at that. He's probably growly because he is tired of guard duty.

Hope everything stays good!

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

PLEASE FEEL BETTER!!! It's good to see you posting Mango! You're bloggie friends are all worried about you!

rottrover said...

Hey Mango Man! Take it easy, eat some turkey, feel better soon. 12 paws crossed :-)

Lola said...

Oh, dear, dear Mango. There's nothing wrong with taking it a little easy for a while. It's not furever. Just until they find the right potion to keep that seizure monster away and I'm sure they will find it soon. We're all thinking about you and don't worry about visiting us. We'll visit you until you're all better. That's the way it's supposed to work. All we ask is for Mango Mama to let us know how things are going when she gets the time. Like for instance, what the vet has to say.

lotsa licks, Lola

Piappies World said...

Hello Mango,

We hope that you are doing ok as you read our comments. We are sad that the monster manages to disturb your happy dreamland. We got our paws crossed that it stays away from you.

We enjoyed watching the videos and Tula surely has a crush on you. We do hope you get to see her again and share more treats.

Do take care.

Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai & Wai-Max

Marjie said...

Mango, dude!

I have been looking around my estate for alligators, because my Momma says she has been up to her ass in them, and so unable to help me come visit you, and I now I find the seizure monster has attacked you again! I'm very concerned!

One of my human sisters must have the same affliction as you, because she has been having random seizures, and they are taking her to unpleasant doctors who think they are Very Important called neurologists. I think they are too stoopid to attend to large and wonderful mastiffs such as yourself.

Seriously, Mango, we're thinking of you, and sending our very best wishes your way. My stoopid Momma even sends you a big hug.


Sue said...

Mango, do you suppose all those Mango products showing up on store shelves have drained you of your strength and now this monster is coming around to attack you in your weakened condition?

Tell Pee Wee that he must stay awake all night while you sleep and chase away any monster that tries to get near you. What are little brothers for, anyway?
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

Carol from Down Under said...

HI Mango, glad you are able to get some computer time. As for your Momma fussing over you more. Well that's as it should be of course. Make sure you get all the attention you need. Are you sure it wasn't pee wee who peed on your bed. He is sleeping awfully close. Don't forget, when you go to the vet its not so much the blood thing, but what they might put in your bottom. Oh dear. Keep alert ok? Message for Dexter, let your Momma put on the cream stuff because we don't want the 'cone' to make a comeback at this stage. Take care boys. Thinking of you Momma. Love Carol

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Big Me's!!

Me is soooo glad to hears 'dat you is doing betters!! You need me to come over 'deres just let me knows... me gets me whirly~~ caps on and me skeer 'dat c sir outs of yous.. him be gone.

Me is glad 'dat Big Adventures is going good too and behaving himselfs..hu hu's

You's videos made me crunch me poppy corns and now me outs so me go grab some mores..

Yous take cares of yous Momma when hers gets home

Laters big mes
Yous Mini selfs
Anakin Man

The Thuglets said...

Mango .... we hope that the horrid seizure monster is all gone.

Good to see you up and about. Take it easy!

Pawsative vibes and airezen enroute from us!

Together with Extra Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Benny and Lily said...

Mango we hate monsters! the seizure monster is wicked! We have all our feets crossed for you big guy. Keneau Reeves!! BOL
Benny & Lily

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh Mango, Darling...what did the Steal Your Blood vettie say??? I, of course, will be on my way to MASTER CHEW SITS to provide you with an all over body massage...

Sheesch...we have our paws crossed that the stoopid seizure monster doesn't dare come back there...

Kisses, Dear...


Clive said...

Oh Mango, good to hear from you and we laughed about Keanu Reeves! We're hoping all continues well for you .... paws and fingers crossed here and Murray Man is working away big time with the Man above to make sure his prayers get heard!

Take care,
Clive and Murray

Anonymous said...

You and Pee Wee are quite a pair with your sickies...! I hope things go well at the vet. Glad to see you've still got your sense of humor though! It looks like Tula does like you!! You and Dexter feel better soon, okay?

Elyse and Riley

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay i think they mite be gasliting yoo!!! git owt now!!! ok bye

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll tell you I don't like whatever is up either! Stupid, dumb, mean, awful seizure monster! But don't worry abouts tinkling inside, okay? Cuz I heard that Mango pee is a pawerful seizure monster deterrent. So see? Even in your sleepy state, you were getting back at that monster! You're so brave!

Hang in there, Mango! I'm sending you lotsa brindle Mayzie snuffles! I hope they make you feel better.

Wiggles & Wags,

Eric said...

Mango. I'm extra really sorry the nasty seizure monster visited you and I haven't been around to bark that to you. I'm sending you and Mama tons of my WFT tenacious zen across the big one for you both. Stay well my friend.

Wiry love Eric xxx

1000 Goldens said...

Oh Mango, as if it weren't enough to contend with, they added ass wipes to the equation? I'm so sorry buddy! You take care, we are thinking of you...

Lorenza said...

I wish I had the power to make that monster to go away from you!
But... we have the power of the paw and I am sure it will work for you!
Glad you had some nice time outside!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

Kira The BeaWootiful and Mom said...

Wooos Mango Man! I am so sorry woo had the seizure monster visit woo again. It is tough, I know. Mom said to be nice to your Mom,it is hard on them too. Mom said to tell woo Mom that you can't babysit all day everyday. I have had seizures when she is not home, it is a bummer, but she can always tell, because of how I act. One my human sis had to take me to the vet because I got so bad and she did not know what to do. Luckily Mom sprung me, and was I ever happy to see her, my wooos brought the roof down! The good thing is now she takes me with her a lot more, so maybe woo can convince to to take woo along.
Husky kisses that woo are better soon!
-Kira The BeaWootiful

houndstooth said...

Mango, I think you need to milk this for all it's worth! If your mom wants to shower you with attention, I say let her. This has come along at the perfect time, too. Not only will your mom totally give up all the loving right now, you have all that food for Turkey Day that you can offer to test for her to be sure that it's fit for human consumption -- and then all that company will come over and you can get all of them to feed you, too! Then you hand over your Christmas List! Work it, Mango!


Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We're glad to see you up and moving, RH. If it would help scare away the C-sure Monster, we're sure blogworld could organize a security detail around you that would put the President's to shame. We volunteer. Jed is a smart, devoted and courageous champion. Abby will bury the Monster in legal motions for assault, grievous bodily harm, being the proximate cause of distasteful trips to the vet involving STAIRS [that's emotional pain & suffering right there].

Loved your race with Tula, although Abby couldn't help but notice you were running free and Tula had to drag a human down the track with her, which had to slow her down. Excellent close formation sitting, however!

You never cease to amaze with your inventive ways to play with Dex. He's having a rough time, too. He loves you & he's scared about the C-sure Monster. And he has a nasty spot on his face that hurts. We know you'll cut the little guy some slack. Not too much, but some.

We sent you a link [email] to a cooking program to make some kind of Mango popcicles or something. Not only is this INDIAN cooking [so the exploitation of the Mango is worldwide], but the kicker is this cooking Mangos link popped up automatically right after we watched your race with Tula on You Tube! So they're linking their exploitation TO YOUR OWN VIDEOS! Abby is busy researching; she's sure there must be a law against that.

In your corner, on your side, and got your back,

Jed & Abby

TwoSpecialWires said...

Oh Mango. Our man. This is what happens when Moma takes a too long hiatus from the computer. We miss out on everything that been happening. And now we feel bad. 'Cause we really want to have been sending our terrier zen your way. For you. And for your momma. We hope we can triple up or something, and hopefully make a difference. We want to help strike down that monster. And we'll do our best to help from a distance. Please tell your momma for us.

We really care aboutcha. All of ya.

Jake and Fergi and OurMoma, too

MAXMOM IN SA said...

Oh dear Mango...
We are so sorry to hear about the seizure attacks...your Momma must be really worried.
We have our paws crossed this end that your meds will be able to manage you adequately.
We love you, Mango...please get better!
Sending lotsaluv, lotsalicks, lotsazen, lotsaprayers, lotsa-anything that will make you better.

monica said...

Ah Mango - great to hear you are keeping up the good spirits!

Anny said...

Hope you are feeling much better Mango. Good one on the Keanu Reeves part :) Our paws and all fingers and toes will be crossed for you for your speedy recovery.

woofs n licks,
Dommy & Piper

Anonymous said...

Yay! You're playin tennis ball :) That tells me you're feelin pretty decent :)

Bummer you aren't goin to get to see your fav vet that gives you messages er massages :) But that probably means your Momma thinks you're doin well enough to just go to the local blood stealin one. So, this is good :)

Waggin at ya,

Wishin all of you a great Thanksgiving!

Molly,Taffy and Monty said...

Mango you take it steady and rest your paws. I do hope that nasty Seizure Monster stays well away from you. I could always send Taffy over, one flash of his nashers should scare the monster away.


Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, I'm sorry to hear you had some upset in your RH world. Glad you're feeling okay now. I think your sense of humor is the best defense against this monster. Take care of yourself.
Grr and a Concerned Woof,

Peppy Sheppys said...


We think you look most good and hope that Dexter is being most vigilant keeping that stupid seizure monster away from you. Oh we cannot tell you how much we hate that monster.

But we do find your speed most impressive. I did notice, though, that there was a brief glimpse of a corgi in your labragoon video. And I am certain that you did not race him lest you be most embarrassed by the SPEED of the SHORTLEGS.


LucilleMia said...

Mango, my dear friend, what are you doing!!!
I leave your for a few weeks and what do you do?
Yeah, I know, I know, with all the women you have around you do not need me so much... ok ok...
Just joking now that I understand you are recovering, but I was really panicking...
You know, Bruce's human, drop my human a note to let her know about you... so thankfully she is now out of her writer's block... I hope..
I am happy to see you are getting better...
Give me some time to check out exactly what happened to you ...
Seizures? oh... scary...
You must have been very brave...
Oh, I am truly sorry, but keep getting better, ok? Promised?
I will write soon!
Your Lucille