Monday, January 3, 2011

Mean Momma Monday

Alert readers know that I, Mango, have commenced walkies after a prolonged absence due to some issues I was having (which are not entirely sorted but much improved). That said, my perambulations are typically 10 - 15 minutes in the proximity of my estate.

Unlike the PeeWee who apparently goes for insanely long walkies of several miles at a brisk pace. In fact the little can't keep four on the floor dude even got a 50 ft. leash to allow him to run all cracker dog about whilst momma proceeds at a more conservative pace.

How's that working out for you squirt? Hehehe.

But I digress...

The other day, momma got it in her head that it would be "fun" for me to go on an extended hike through the woods. I have to admit that things started out quite well.

Check out this brief video. How much fun is that?

Did you catch that heavy breathing? Sounds like Darth Vader walking with me. Ish.

Now the woods are most interesting and full of curious smells and I felt full of vigor as I started out on my journey.

But what began as a funballs excursion, quickly deteriorated into a forced march. Yes, friends, momma made me walk for a full half hour! I tried my best to slow things down by pausing to sniff, but she was determined for me to get some exercise.

Way to ruin a good time, evil witch.

Because frankly, I was afraid I would not have the energy to make it home again. Hey! You try lugging 200+ pounds through the snow and see how far you get.

The Mango is designed for stationary activities such as this! That's what I'm talking about.

Note to self. Approach with caution when the dotty old hen suggests a "fun" "new" activity. Particularly if it is billed as being "good for you."

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Mr Koda MD said...

Mango, I'm just going to jump out and say it...


Imagine what the ladies think with this RH, muscly fit guy thats going to come out at the end of it...

And walkies are fun! But my opinion is worth a bar of soap to you really....

Pepsi Bum said...

BOL, I really can't imagine anyone trying to carry you, dude. That's gonna be one hell of a challenge.


Priscilla said...

Poor you having to walk for 30 full minutes!!
I hope your momma knows that the RH prefers stationary activities to silly crackpot PeeWee-style walkies!

Anonymous said...

Hardy Har Har Carry you????? Now that I really want to see BOL!

Waggin at ya,

AFSS said...

I would have so enjoyed your walk. Maybe we can trade old ladies for a day. Mine never wants to walk fast and always complains she is out of breath when I insist on a brisk pace.

Mine won't carry me either, I totally don't understand it because she is always picking the cats up and carrying them. ~Fenris

pam said...

Ok so be wary of the 'funballs' comments. check


monica said...

30 minutes, huh? in the snow? uphill for sure? hm, your momma should respect your limits... you have my sympathy - I know EXACTLY how you feel!
Happy New year from Bundy the Bundle of Joy, who thinks a 20 minute long walk around the block is quite excellent... and sufficient.

Mr. Pip said...

BOL!!! I feel your pain - my mom forces exercise on me as well. And when I reach my limit, I stop and refuse to move until she picks me up!

Your pal, PIp

Jen said...

Oh Goodness Mango!! She could have eased up to it, right instead of going all gung ho into the exercises!! It's like that a bit around here, except it's the dogs who take me for longer than expected walkies.... it's really hard to resist Sophie's enthusiasm and nose!! :)

Jen and the black dog crew

Niamh said...

Well if your momma wants exercise, she will get it if she has to carry you back to the estate! That will teach her to drag you through the woods.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Maggie Mae said...


I am always a bit leery of my mom when her suggests a fun new activity, that's how I wound up on the treadmill!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Gus said...

Oh Yeah...AMEN


giantspeckledchihuahua said...

I'd suggest a sled for the winter and a wagon for the nicer weather. When your evil mother makes you do too much/walk too far she can pull your RH butt home!

jen said...

The nerve of your mom making you walk so far!!
Maybe you should ask for a wagon ride next time with Pee Wee pulling you:)

Chester said...

Waaaah, waaaah, waaaaah!

30 minutes is not even long enough to get a good poo worked up. Besides, you got one RH of a snooter so USE IT to find good poos to roll in or even to snack on. Looks like a grand place to find deer poo which is a favorite of mine.

As soon as I heard about PeeWee's 50 ft leash, I knew there was gonna be a problemo. My PUs gave up on that a long time ago and got me one of them E-collars to wear in the woods. (even though Mom was not fond of the idea.) She soon learned that is actually in my best interest when used correctly. All's it takes anymore is a vibration on my neck to let me know that whatever it is I'm doin', I better stop.

Keep workin' on that walkin' Mango-you might find you actually like it.

Woofs and waaaah, waaaah slobbers,
Ches ;0=)

Anonymous said...

Oh, Mango. I am happy you are back out walking again, even if you didn't enjoy it. Just think of how nice it was to come home and relax. That should make it all worthwhile.

Happy Blogiversary!

Frankie Furter said...

Well now that is just WRONG on so many levels. Heck... she didn't even put your Cape on you. How could you possibly have a FULL Adventure Experience without your CAPE????

Raymond and Busby said...

Your Momma is obviously cruel but you are going to have a sweet muscle butt.

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Hu Hu's..
Me lets 'da pawrents know when me is done wits walkies..
Momma will walkie me wits me sissy IzZY.. and we's not go too far..
butt when Daddy man comes wits we all go to park and sometimes it's too much on way back so me will fall down over on me back..
hu hu's
and Daddy Man will have to carry me home..
Once me's did it to Momma.. Me refused to walkie.. hers had IzZY 'den me big Mini-self's in her arms..
neighbors said me had her number..
no.. me's just tinks hers should get me buggie like me sissy Josie has..butt me's be motorized and have tunes piped outs of it's..
den me come get yous and we cruze hu's

Momma says yous did good job on your walkie and yous Momma does good job wits yous Slighly larger 'den me selfs.. hu hu's

Laters big me's
Yous Mini-me's
Anakin Man

MAXMOM IN SA said...

Geesh Mr Mango...
I admiresh your Momma...that Labradude energy is sure something to handle and then also YOU? Phew! Did you actually see that video of her and PeeWee with their agilities...totally extraordinary and to be admired! (She needs a bone for sure!)
Okay, I want to say that I think you are a TIGER! Your coat sure stands out against that snowy backdrop. Man you are beautiful Mango!!!
In my wee opinion, I say you must listen to that clever Momma of yours. She luvs you and knows what's best and we want you around for a LONG time!!!
I luvs you too, Mango!

Anonymous said...

Haha! Mango you are a good dog to get out and exercise your mama. WE all need to get out and about more!

Kari in WeHo said...

Good luck getting her to carry you!


CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

ROFL at PeeWee's leash! Mango, I agree with your mom... you need more exercise...not that your aren't handsome. But big guys need to move too! Mabel isn't happy with less than an hour! And she would stay three or four if I let her!

Oskar said...

Maybe you could be pulled by Pea on a sleigh?

Nubbin wiggles,

Maggie and Mitch said...

Maybe you should have a stroller so that when you're 1/2 hour out and you can't go any farther, you momma can push you back, Mango!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Channon said...

Mango... Does your mom carry a cell phone? I do, and more than once, I had to phone the Knight and inform him his male basset (dearly departed now) was having a sit-in smack in the middle of our road, and perhaps he'd bring the truck 'round and cart the ol' boy home.

He always did.

Marjie said...

"Good for you" is rarely fun. For example, lima beans. Good for you. Not fun, and not good.


houndstooth said...

*falls off the couch laughing* Oh, Mango, I had no idea your mama had the stamina to be that cruel! What a brutal start to the New Year. I can't imagine how you managed to get back!


rottrover said...

Mango. Dude. You gotta exercise. It'll help your RH bottom and your RH mind. And didn't you find cool stuffs to smell out there?? Keep it up, dude. She might try the dread-mill next...

Thanks for the shout-out yesterday. We love you guys :-)

Carrie and Waffle said...

wow Mango you went on strike! Your my hero

Sue said...

We think the stroller idea is pretty good. If we were there we could all pull you back home.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

We're generally wary of anything that is described as being 'good for us'. It usually involves being stuck with needles, or a lot of 'sit, stay, come'. Neither of which particularly interests either of us! ;-)

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Madi and Mom said...

Mango you are cracking us up!!!

Tell Mom it is quite appropriate to stop and smell the roses or snow whatever the case maybe,
Hugs Big Guy,

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

New Year resolutions, eh?!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

My DOH used to khry out those same words when she was still small enough fur her dad to kharry on his shoulders -

It was 'Daddy carry me' -

Oh I wish I khould have enkhountered your mangos in the woods!


Carol from Down Under said...

Hey Mango, maybe your Momma was looking for more snowmanpersons for you to destroy. Next time demand many more succulent foodables to continue on with your walk and if that doesn't work, Momma may have to make you a sled with her pocket knife and pull you home ha ha. No worries big fella, love Carol

Sierra Rose said...

Hi ya Mango and Dexter!!!
Looked like a great walkie your mom picked out for you...did she end up carrying you??? :)
I'm on the same long long line program as Dexter! About 50ft of 1inch webbing....super eash to get tangled, but typically gives more room to roam, right Dexter!! :)

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Mango, you not only have all our snow, but you also have a Mom who likes to get out in the snow and cold and go for a long walk - can we have both sent her please?

Oh, and we would love to have some of those yummy bones like you are munching on there.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Anonymous said...

Whew, Mango! I'm so proud of you! I know that was tough but you did it. Cuz, well, you're tougher! Now, I luvs to go for long walks but I know what you mean about the mommas not letting you sniff stuff. Kind of unreasonable, if you ask me. Do we ask them to close their eyes on walks? No, we most certainly do NOT.

Wiggles & Wags,

Ina in Alaska said...

This post reminded me of this poem:

Velvet Shoes

Let us walk in the white snow
In a soundless space;
With footsteps quiet and slow,
At a tranquil pace,
Under veils of white lace.

I shall go shod in silk,
And you in wool,
White as white cow’s milk,
More beautiful
Than the breast of a gull.

We shall walk through the still town
In a windless peace;
We shall step upon white down,
Upon silver fleece,
Upon softer than these.

We shall walk in velvet shoes:
Wherever we go
Silence will fall like dews
On white silence below.
We shall walk in the snow.

Poet: Elinor Wylie

Rudy - The dog with a blog said...

Oh Mango, we are so sorry you had to walk that long!
But you do look so good in the pictures/video; Liberty was quite happy to watch it :)
Glad to hear you made it back okay!


Erika and Blair,xoxo said...

Gosh Mango, you need to take kitty walking lessons from me. Whenever my Mommy brings out that leash I hide, or attempt to remove the leash and collar from my body. Normally she gives up and says it is no fun walking kitties, I though you wanted outside. Well duh Mom just not with you.

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Mango you are so mistreated. Mom needs to realize hot fragile you are. hehe

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

Yay for the Mango! Stop giving your momma such a hard time, it could've been worse!

Benny and Lily said...

We thought you were digging a tunnel home, BOL
Benny & Lily

Asta said...

Sheeesh Mango

I was scawed you wewe going to have to stay out in the woods to sneep..honestly these hoomans and theiw ideas ..tsk,tsk, I ask you
smoochie kisses

1000 Goldens said...

Mango, I can't believe the Momma didn't carry you! It seems like a perfectly reasonable request :)

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We saw both of those denouments coming from a mile away. Fifty foot lead in an area with lots of stuff to get tangled in = tangled labradude. Unaccustomed long walkies with strong minded mastiff = sit down strike. Mango Momma is lucky she didn't have to stand with you for about an hour until you felt like moving again at your own stately pace. Don't know if Mango Momma has read any of Alexander McCall Smith's No.1 Ladies Detective Agency series, but Mango [like mama] is definitely traditionally built in the old Botswana use of that term.

We're sure you and Mango Momma will come to some accommodation regarding the forced marches. Maybe you can try whistling "Bridge on the River Kwai" during your next march; or get Mango Momma to whistle it for you. That will help build up her lung power.

Jed & Abby

Painter Pack said...

Woo is perfect just like woo is, Mango! Walkies are nice, but I am like woo...not much for it...but if snow is involved, well, I like it a lot!


Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
Walkies are pawesome!
I like them a lot... but they have to be executed at my own pace... not mom's!
I can't imagine your mom carrying you!
Kisses and hugs

Sam said...

Aw, poor Mango, I'm sorry you didn't have a good walkie. I think walking for scared or reactive doggies can be an acquired taste - let mom take you out a few more times (maybe sans snow?) and I'm sure you'll learn to enjoy it!

The Thuglets said...

Mango..we are wondering if it is some kind of madness our hoomans experience every New Year..words like exercise and diet!

You did well walking all that way. Infact we were wondering as you did so well when its gonna happen again? Yikes

Maybe sit down a bit closer to home at the start?lol

Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

you already look slimmer from the walk in the woods.

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Wow, Mango, you got to walk in snow! Wow, we don't have snow here. Andy has never seen a real snow. Your lucky!
Sally Ann

Moose said...

Pee wee looks to have gotten himself into quite a bind! Momma thinks he must be spinning like some tazmanian devil the way the leash is all twisty! And why no sports bra? I just got one and thought we could be bra buddies but now you are too cool for that? Showing off your good dog attention trainings I guess? After walking Tiny hound momma thinks I am an angel on a leash!

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said... sorta looked like you were in a bush...not in the woods...but then I saw the trail and you sitting on your biggest rump whining to be carried...I think not.

And you know the DOH said Mumsie's classic line that she says all the time on walkies...(especially if there is little room for the Terriers to go off roading to um remove the stimulus in training speak...) OH, I HOPE WE DON'T MEET ANYBODY.

Sheesch...we are pawfect angels on walkies...


Kirby, CGC said...

Oh Mango, walking through the woods is so much fun! I love it when mom takes me to the park and we walk the trails. I love to pretend that I'm an adventure dog out exploring a new land that has never been discovered before and my ultimate goal...squirrels!! Hope you have more fun adventures in the woods!