Wednesday, January 5, 2011

WTF Wednesday - Mango Products



Check out what Miss Puddles send me! Yuh, my very own WTF stamp with degrees of WTFupedness that you can even check off. So let's get started...





News reports of illicit Mango products have been coming in from around the globe and I want to thank my alert readers for keeping me up to date. Frankly, it is amazing that there is any Mango left given that bits of me have been stolen and hidden in foodables and other stuffs with reckless abandon.

Now, I fear that in my haste to collect these damning photos I have lost their source and so must apologize for not including the whatchyercall attributions, but thanks to pals that sent them in. You know who you are.

First up, Mango yoghurt. I can tell this is not local given the extra letter in the word yogurt. Yuh for sure. What the heck are probiotics anyway? They aren't in my spell checker.







The Mango Salon? No way! Everybody knows the ONLY place Mango will go is here for a restful spa day, thank you very much.







OK, I know where this one came from... none other than MFT herself, Khyra. No, not Mango at all, but an entire location in Kentucky dedicated to the PeeWee. How come he gets a destination and not little edible bits of his black labraself?





Mango slush? And what's up with the consuming raw meat label on there?






I think I know how they make that Mango slush. Hehehe.







A Mango Berries kitteh hide-a-way. Those aren't berries if you please.






This one is just awful. Primarily because the DOH actually went out and bought some to use in the washy machine. The Gain Mango Tango. Does it remove slobbers or add them?





That Amazon place is the worst. A Mango collar in a tasteful color, but clearly not for real as it only fits necks up to 26". Every body knows a real Mango collar must be 30" lest I lose the blood to my brains.











Oh no! Not Mango, but Jo Jo's from that evil Trader Joe's place. Now precious Miss Josie is being distilled into noms for the humans.




Much ado about Mango? I should say so.






Check out this entire store of alleged Mango endorsed products at Amazon. Are you freakin kidding me? The prices! Where is my cut?

But the worst is THIS! Called a mango splitter. Friends, the images that I can see are cause for nightmares. My Mango-ness!


I think I kind of passed out for a minute there. The thought of it! Oh, the horror!





So please, just say NO to Mango products.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

68 comments:

Carol from Down Under said...

Oh Mango, maybe you had better change your name to be safe, like Tango, Fandango, Rango or something else ango! I'm worried all the mangoness will be sucked out of you. Stay away evil consumers. Keep alert big fella, no worries, love Carol.

Roo said...

I am cringin at the thought of your Momma havin a WTF stamp :O !

Perhaps you should start a 'Just Eat Meat!" campaign ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Maggie and Mitch said...

That mango splitter has us covering our eyes in horror, Mango! YIKES! What dummy invented that?!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

AFSS said...

We hates to report but Mommy used that Gain Mango Tango in our wash. We peed on her bed to show our displeasure with her using Mango products.

The Rocky Creek Scotties said...

We'll try to keep our Mom away, but she just loves Mango - we think she might even have some Mango lotion and now we're beginning to wonder where that came from - BOL!!!

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

3 doxies said...

WTF! All these Mango products are purty darn disturbin'! I haves to agree, da Mango Splitter is kinda sick and twisted.

Puddles

Sapphire said...

WTF indeed.

Pepsi Bum said...

Holy crap dude! The splitter is just horrifying, ugh. & the other products, really, WTF!!!

Woofs,
Pepsi

Gus said...

Yeah, I may be pretty omnivorous but I won't touch the faux Mango stuff! I know there is only one true Mango, and your Momma is not gonna share.

gussie

Priscilla said...

I can only say that you're really famous and popular!!!

Mr. Pip said...

I hate to tell you this, but we have some mango popsicles in the freezer right now. I had nothing to do with this purchase and will dispose of them IMMEDIATELY!!

Your pal, Pip

The Heartbeats said...

Whoa! Mango Splitter? YIKES! Hide Mango!

Calhoun

jen said...

Love the stamp!! Be careful with it:)
We have been staying away from mango products ever since we met you Mango:)We will protect you:)

Painter Pack said...

Mommy won't let me say the 3 letters on the stamp...but I can tell woo that the only MANGO I want is woo!! And da splitter? I believe they is trying to steal your DNA to make more Mangos!!!

Mya Boo Boo

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

That Mango splitter is um yeah REALLY disturbing! Like what part of Mango would fit in there to be split!?!

Minna Krebs said...

"WTFupedness"! I just love that word! My momma is gonna have to steal that word and use it at work...A LOT.

By da way...that Mango splitter is Extreme WTFupedness!!!!

rottrover said...

AND what happens if we split the Mango? Is it like splitting the atom? Scary....Major WTFupedness...

achieve1dream said...

Ohmygoodness! That is horrible! I almost passed out with you!

Jackal

Frankie Furter said...

WTFang indeed... that Mango splitter SCARES me. What will they think of next?????

Mack said...

Mom did say that Mango slushie looked rather refreshing...
WTF?

Tank said...

And I thought I had problems... how ever do you cope??

Dozer and Coop said...

There should be a federal law against Mango products except for the dried Mango bits, Mum likes those. She also likes the picture of you passed out. She says you got jowls to die for...whatever that means!

Love, Dozer and Cooper

Jazzi said...

MAngo
YIKES I have seen some mango dried foodables!!! Awwwwwwww lol
I cant wait for Mango Minister. I am gonna whip Frankies butt and clean up!!! ROFL I better get busy here and do some real cracker dog stuffs!! LOL

wags
Jazzi

Corbin said...

Dude... there has to be something we can do about this! No mango products for me!
-Corbin

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Between watching fur frogs and mango stuffs, I do keep my DOH okhkhupied!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: The Mango Slushie was from TGIFridays ;-)

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

i would WTF stamp all of those products along with Guinness beer. wtf?!!

HoundDogMom said...

We so want one of those WTF stamping machines. But we are so very disturbed to see all these different Mango items showing up. We pointed out to you last year the Mango Shake at Micki-Ds, which really caught us off guard. But we have something else you need to checkout. Human was watching Animal Planet and it was a show about everything your fur-kid needs, wants. But what set us in an absolute tail spin was this.....Mango Pet Products Inc. and they sale nothing but BIRD products (http://www.mangopet.com/default.asp).....WTF.....The HoundDogs

rescuedinsanity.com said...

Poor Mango! That is a very confusing pile of randomage. I would need a nap as well. Or a lawyer.

Elyse and Riley said...

The Mango splitter scared us straight! My brother-in-law is actually allergic to mangoes...can you believe someone would be allergic to you?? But he says he's not allergic to dogs...so I don't get it.

Elyse and Riley

violett said...

My mummy is also a mango consumer. Their favourite ice, yoghurt is a mango. And she takes a shower with mango. ( I just fancy, you are with mummy in our small shower - *lol*)
Now I will boycott this. I attach my brother Hoover to destroy all that. He is able to do this very well. We become a mango free house!
He gives only one mango! You!
Lots of love
Mischka

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Mango, isn't it about time you went after all these Mango producers and get your fair share of the profits?

We must admit that Mango Splitter made us all cross our legs quickly.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

houndstooth said...

A Mango splitter?! Whoa! Now that is seriously messed up!

Bunny

Sue said...

We think you need a good lawyer to put a stop to this madness.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

brooke said...

hahahhaha a mango splitter! Dont let them get you Mango!

Barbara said...

Say NO to Mango Splitters!!!

Puddles never sends me cool stuff!!! I want that stamp!

Samantha said...

DONE!!! The Mango-Splitter alone is enough to cause sleepless nappies and nights. (But we do hope you can figgur out a way to get some residuals from dose products... you deserve every bone/red cent.)
xoxoxo
Sammie and Avalon

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Goodness Mango, You are working yourself up so, I'm afraid you're going to wake the seizure monster!

I do think you need a cut!!!

For your mom: Probiotics are the GOOD enzymes in your tum. The opposite of ANTIbiotics. I take them when I'm on antibiotics and give them to Mabel. She also gets them when she has "the runs." 1/2 an hour before meals or 2 hours after. Or if taken with the antibiotics... right in the middle of the schedule. You don't want them to cancel each other out. it really helps with the tummy upset that comes from taking those meds!

Oskar said...

Whew, that last one sent shivers down my not so large self!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Marjie said...

No Mango Products! NO Mango Products! NO MANGO PRODUCTS!

Mango Momma, buying Mango-type soap is rather shameful!

Drools,
Thor

Erika and Blair,xoxo said...

A MANGO SPLITTER? IS THAT HOW THEY GO ABOUT MAKING YOU INTO ALL THOSE PRODUCTS??? GOODNESS I HOPE YOUR MOMMA SETS AN ALARM TO SCARE THEM AWAY!

Sagira said...

Hi Mango! I just wanted to stop by and say hi. Frankie sent me your way and told me how cool you are that we need to be furfriends as well. Hope you will write back. :)

mayziegal said...

Ohmidogness, Mango! What the Fart, indeed! That Mango Splitter is just...well, it's just...I can't even think of a word to describe it! Aren't you glad you have so many furends around the world to help spread the word of all these Mango albatrossities?

Concerned wiggles & wags,
mayzie

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Abby the Legal Beagle[-mix]'s nose is just quivering! She kept reading all the calls for a Mango lawyer and she's already working on the necessary complaints and restraining orders and requests for production of documents. We're gonna need a team of international lawyers, though: there seem to be offenses in multiple jurisdictions. Abby "volunteers" [at her usual nom-able fee] to handle the eastern half of North America. Any other legal beagles [other breeds welcome; we do not discriminate] out there willing to take on the evil doers in the West, Europe, Australia, and, we expect, ESPECIALLY Asia? We haven't seen any African offenses yet, but there are bound to be some of those, too. Toby, you ready to start law school? The studying will help keep you out of mischief, so your mom will certainly approve. [Being as you're still a minor, you'll need her consent - and her help filling out the application to law school. Not to mention paying the tuition.]

See you in court! Oh... Mango, do you want these guys stopped, or just a cut of the profits? Except for the Mango slicer of course; that has to be banned worldwide.

Abby is considering getting one of those marvelous WTF stamps. She loves the idea of stamping that all over legal documents, especially those filed by opponents.

Jed & Abby, L.B.E. [Legal Beagle (mix} Extraordinaire

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Hmm...that Mango spliter? It might just be easier to go the the vet...and a lot less painful.

As for Mango products? I adore that Mango licorice...one of my favorites...as for Mango smoothies....ahhh...bliss...

Sorry we've been remiss about gettin' to your bloggie...Mumsie's been de-decorating and OR GAN I ZING. And it looks worse...far worse.

Kisses,

Lac

Droopy, Smiley, and Kayah said...

We at the Cheesehound household proudly say no to Mango products!!!

Love the WTF stamp!

Slobbers,
Droopy, Smiley, and Kayah

Those Elgin Pugs said...

hu hu's...
Me sissy is up 'deres helping..
hers hide 'dose cookies from 'da Daddy Man under da couch 'dat nite.

We's got to be alert and focussed Big Me's!!
Maybe Big Adventures got sometings to do wits dis? Shares/investments in 'dis?
Keep yous eyeballs on hims..
Maybe 'deres a lab somewheres... hu hu's get it? lab!!
Where him works doing tings in?
Let me's know if yous need me to fill in as yous if yous need to follow hims..
since we's twins and all.. hu hu's
Later big me's
yous slightly smaller (not by muches) self,
Anakin Man

Kari in WeHo said...

We own a mango peeler :)

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

Lorenza said...

Oh-oh-oh!
I can understand you passed out!
I promise I will not use and Mango product here!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

tula said...

i'd like to place an order. yes, two packs of the much ado about mangos and a mango & berries hideaway fur my coo coo kitty pal.

oops. wrong site.

my bad.
tm

George the Lad said...

Hi Mango, first up thanks for the Christmas Card that was reel nice of yea, Frankie who I have known for a while was telling folks about your Mango Minster 2011 it looks like fun I can see me joining in with some of it ;)
Like your post on Mango things I do the same with my name, and have a post going up next week, I'll keep me eyes peeled for any Mango items over here for you.
See Yea George xxx

Holly and Khady said...

I think you need an attorney to see that you get your proper salary from all these Mango products! You are totally getting robbed!

Holly

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Oh my Mango, we dEfInAteLy boycotting/poochcotting all mango products too. Thanks for the info! Now about that stamp...bwahahahahaha!! Tooo funny.
Smooches from pooches,
BabyRD & Hootie

Niamh said...

The mango splitter? Is that to make mini mangos? I don't think that is such a good idea.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

LucilleMia said...

Mango,
it is high time you get a copywright on your name so that you can sue all those that offend your name by using it! At least you will be able to get paid for that!
Stand up for your rights Mango Man!
Love
Lucille

Daisy Dog said...

Mango, I hate to tell you this but ther is also a Mango tree!! Yes, a tree with relentlessly huge fruits hanging from it! the horror!! Yes, we can just pick a Mango from the tree....

El'bow and Hauwii said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .....

Kissslobbers
El'bow & Hauwii

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

What a great post Mango. We love the last picture. he he

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Tessa the Maltese said...

OMD I cannot believe it!

Who would mess with The Mango Man? Have these inferior mango makers lost their minds???? They must have!

Not to worry Mango Man, we will stand on all 4 paws and Just Bark NO!

woo woos, Tessa

Tessa the Maltese said...

OMD I cannot believe it!

Who would mess with The Mango Man? Have these inferior mango makers lost their minds???? They must have!

Not to worry Mango Man, we will stand on all 4 paws and Just Bark NO!

woo woos, Tessa

Asta said...

Mango
The howwow of it all
I saw Mommi eyeing new towels the othew day and they wewe clled Mango too..will it nevew end??
scawed smoochie kisses
ASTA

Trixie, Lily, and Sammy-Joe said...

Hi! We just started our own blog recently, and we've been trying to meet other bloggy pets. We are ROFL about all the Mango products! You are famous, Mango!!!

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Dad bought some dried Mango at the store the other day. We wanted to pour water on it and see if we got our very own RH, but Mom wouldn't let us (something about slobbers and not having enough kibble to sustain you). Talk about No Fun. That stamp is AWESOME!!! We're going to have to bribe, uh, talk to Puddles about getting one of our own. That is SO COOL!!!! BTW, I don't think Dad has eaten any dried bits of you.

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

The Thuglets said...

Mango..we wondered if u had a good lawyer that could deal with these compaies and get you a slice of their Mango takings?

Hope you have come around by now!

Big Nose Pokes
The THugletsx

Peppy Sheppys said...

Our ma ape just read this and said "Mmmm...mango sounds good. Perhaps I will add some mango chunks to my oatmeals for breakfast." We are most alarmed. Are you barfing in our ape's cereals? Because that sounds delicious.

Sheps w/Pep.

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Mango, it would be imPAWsible to refuse Mango products - after all, your adoring public wants to be close to you and if they can't have the real thing - well, they'll take what they can get☺

JackDaddy said...

I agree - no mango products!

Except mango ice cream. We do love our mango ice cream!

doyle and mollie said...

oh dear that mango splitter is just horrendous the thought of it makes my fur crawl thank dog its far too small arf arf loves and licks xxx

the booker man said...

me and asa and mama totally lost it at the mango splitter!!!

*woof*
the booker man