Wednesday, February 16, 2011

WTF Wednesday - Triple Header

Don't forget to visit the Mango Minster blog for the final report from our official judge of ethics, Miss Abby, and a helpful list of winners so that you can visit them all.



THREE alarming items which have been recently brought to the attention of the Mango.


Did you read it? Yuh, for sure, so many things wrong with this. First of all, what the heck are those doggies doing in the human bed? That is so totally forbidden around here (well, except for when momma tries to nap in the guest room and accidentally sleeps through dinner time and the Pea goes up and launches on her, but that is OK because otherwise we might starve).

Well, this IS a kind of fierce looking doggie... NOT!

And what about the words that say the human's toes were made of the narcotic tissue? WTF?Looks like those wee pups are headed for rehab.

Note that the above article was sent to my attention by THE BEAST and if I were her mumsie I would wear socks to bed. Just a suggestion...

But wait, there's more...



Brought to my attention through reading's Meeshka's informative blog. It's the Wacoal iPant Long Leg Shaper For starters, I am doing a big gag me with my paw over the fact that they called it an iPant. Last I heard that "i" in iThings meant internets and I am unclear on what fat squish pants have to do with the internets.

But that aside, these babies contain caffeine which alleges to seep out into the cellulite over the course of the day which apparently will excite your flab muscles in such a way as to magically shrink the dimensions of the thunder thighs.


Rest assured that the caffeine stays there after 100 washes. Sort of like the coffee stains on mom's jammies. And of course the waist and leg openings are laser-finished for, wait for it.. "less bulk." Hey, ladies, let me tell you something. Those thighs are as big as they are and if you squish them on one end, they are going to bubble out on the other causing GIGANTIC knees and most of your bottom to push itself up under your arm pits.

It also comes in a full body version which actually has directions on how to put it on. I say WTF to any article of clothing that requires a user guide. As if!


And finally...


Friends, the level of human stupidness knows no bounds. Kind of makes licking your butt look like the most normal thing in the world (of course how would I know since my relentlessly huge body does not fold sufficiently for me to lick any further than my equipment).

Watch this actual movie and be amazed.



Like there is something endlessly fascinating going on BEHIND this guy? And yuh, as one reader of YouTube commented, "hasn't he heard of duct tape?" Not to mention, this borders dangerously close to ass cam. There's an image for you.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Some doctor human went to about 87 years of medical school and this is what he does? WTF?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. As if that weren't bad enough, alert reader, Darwin, sent me a link to this alleged recipe for Mango Jam which calls for, gasp, 3 large mangoes cubed. Oh cross my legs! How much you wanna bet that Thor's mom is going to make some of that? Bad human, bad human.

40 comments:

3 doxies said...

3 toes? Yum! Okays, dat just sounds so overly gross and like so crazy, it almost sounds made up but I knows it wasn't.

Mango Jam? hehehehehehehehe!

Puddles

Levi Mac said...

Weird and unusual business! Definitly a WTF!

Carol from Down Under said...

I agree with Levi Mac WTF! Maybe the doggies thought they would sample some toe jam. Eeewww. No worries, love Carol.

Bouncing Bertie said...

Mango, as I approach my first birthday I am learning that I live in a most disturbing world.

And Gail is saying she is going to send the iPants thing to her favourite 'Bad Science' column in the Guardian newspaper here!

Toodle pip!
Bertie.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I bet Mango Marley was really the one to write about "we be jammin' " -

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Please help! The Beastie pikhked me up on her broom last night and made me attend The Terror Group judging at Westminster!

Jen said...

Wow, this is quite the information! All in all, very unsettling, that is for sure. Especially the mango jam business!! I, myself have discovered some Mango products that have made me cringe... Mango tea and Mango Ice Cream. I'll have to send you the photos as that's just wrong!!

Jen and the BDC

tula said...

okay mango i have one word fur you-- EWWW ok maybe 3- EWW EWWW and EWWWWWW!

tula

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

WTF!!??!! Humans are so scary!

Happy tails!
Stumpy and her bean

Maggie Mae said...

OoH my...deese three things is most weird indeed!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Frankie Furter said...

Most two leggers... SCARE me. And this would be WHY!!!

jen said...

Wow...there is some crazy stuuf out there! But those ipant things may be worth looking into:)for me at least:)

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

you are right Mango! A scottish deerhound won Westminster--but we are too upset with the look of the german shepards to support westminster this year.

Channon said...

We were too busy post-Mango Minster to do more than watch the hound group at Westmin, and then, only because Gramma called and was loving the basset.

I have a REALLY tight coat that's supposed to calm me down, but it makes me PANT harder. I can't imagine it calms anyone... How is it calming to have everything all pressed up!?


--Gretchen Greer (& DIVA Sissy too, but she's sleeping)

Corbin said...

It's times like these where I'm glad to be a DOG! Well... a non human toe eating dog.
-Corbin

Ludo van Doggy said...

I think eeewww pretty much sums up this post. hehe!

Wild Dingo said...

Mango! why? WHY? MUST you give me the heebie jeebies?

cute doggies who like narcotic toes, squishy underpants and, a stupid-head?

i had to stop watching the video. I mean, seriously he couldn't wear a hard hat with a cam on it?

Kari in WeHo said...

um that third one boggles the mind

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Now Mango...only Stan is allowed to sleep in the big bed here. So last night, after being confined to my crate during the working dog group....(I can't help I attacked the TV and then tried to bite Stanley, then snarled at Mumsie when she picked me up. Oh, during the terrier group, Daddy had a pile of his old dirty socks which he chucked at my head each time I launched myself at the screen.)

So before I headed to my crate, I jumped on the big bed and RELIEVED my bladder right on the covers...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Mumsie went psycho...it was hilarious...specially cuz she had just put the sheets on before the terriers came into the ring...

Yep, those articles you posted show odd happenings in the world...

khisses,

Beastie

Chester said...

I have a lot to say about the stupid human tricks in this post but unfortunately my keyboard is soppin' wet because Mom can't control her eyeball overflow when she laughs really hard. (I don't even wanna think about it but she is gettin' older so mebbee she needs some of them caffeine drawers in case she can't control her overflow somewhere else when she laughs if'n you know what I mean)

Woofs and soppin' wet slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

Mack said...

That is pure Spaniel Mess! Eating his master's toes? What nerve. I just know Paris would have done the same thing!

Asta said...

Mango
This was a most distuwbing post hoomans nevew stop amazing me wif theiw stoopidity.. those pantsesonly wowk if you awe shaped like a stick and have nothing that can be pushed up ow down..obviously these gull ible hoomans who buy this nevew studied theiw physicses in school.
As fow using thwee lawge mangoes in a wecipe..who has a pot that big???
and how dawe they even suggest cutting up a mango
I despaiw fow the hooman wace
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Elyse and Riley said...

Holy crap...WTF!? The crazy guy that had a camera implanted in the back of his head...! I can understand dogs eating toes and coffee thighs...but a camera in the back of your head...!? Seriously? Like what fascinating things are going on behind this guy...? And why can't he just turn around and look? And how does he get through airport security with that thing? And what quack doctor agreed to do this?

Okay, my mind hurts now...or should I say the back of my head hurts now?

Elyse and Riley

Marjie said...

Mango, for the record, my momma has never ever purchased any alleged foodables called "Mango" anything. I have kept her alert to the fact that these are merely ripoffs meant to capitalize on your good name.

Momma does make a mean strawberry jam, however!

Drools,
Thor

Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, Mango Minster was so incredibly cool and fun this year! i know everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. Thanks so much for all the work you and your Mom did to make it so fun for all of us. Now I can't wait for next year!! Thanks for the chuckle about these crazy peeps.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
and 2nd place Good Old Dog

brooke said...

My head hurts! How does he sleep with that thing in his head?! What a freak! Art my ass!

And the toes... the toes! Disgusting!

I was LOLing over here over your comment on those coffee spanx... giant knees! ahahhahahaha

A giant doggie won that other dog show! How exciting!

Sue said...

OK, our Mom is rolling on the floor laughing now. We're going to run to Thor's blog and see if you're right.
Morgan, tsar and the Porties

rottrover said...

WTF indeed.

-Gizmo

Rudy - The dog with a blog said...

Mango, just wanted to stop by and say THANKS for the wonderful Mango Minster - 2011.
We truly enjoyed it, and none of it would have been possible without you & your mom.
So thanks again!

Rudy's Raiser

Oskar said...

So much craziness, we are speechless!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

mayziegal said...

Hmmmm... that thing abouts the doggies chewing off that guy's toesies kinda reminds me of that scene from the Dogfather (or whatever it was called). You know, the one with the horse head in the bed. Hmmmm...why do my dogs have red stuff on their faces? Hmmmm...what is this warm red wet stuff in my bed? Hmmmm....maybe I should pull back the covers to find out. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

And the fat squishing coffee pants? Why do they always show skinny ladies with those on? Skinny ladies don't need fat squishing pants!

Wiggles & Wags,
mayzie

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Some people are such idiots.. You sure this isn't one of those "Come on Mans?"

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Kris said...

oh mango and mango momma and pea i have to confess i ate "MAngo" yogurt last night sorry it was too tasty and tempted me like i was possessed or something that i completely forget your mangoness

the rest of your wTF... really O.o WTF? ....

hugs
Kristina & kovack

Maggie and Mitch said...

Mom has left the room, Mango. She says she can't believe the stupidity of some hoomans!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Sunny,Scooter(sometimes Jamie) said...

Man have we missed you guys. mom has soooo much catching up to do. Hope you remember us! Aaaaannd there are now 3 sundogs. Oh yeah...
Hugs
Sunny (who never got the date Mango, but I have moved on....:)

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Good grief, Mango! Are you moonlighting from your Wall Street job by starting a doggie tabloid? Except for the first article, which actually has some social value. Mama thinks the Charlie spaniel doggies may have actually saved their human's life. He had necrosis and no feeling; he could have gotten terminal gangrene without even noticing it, if the doggies hadn't gone to extreme measures to draw his attention to his medical problem. And he gets extra points for not allowing anyone to take or punish his doggies. The second article has received enough comment, except to note those frigging things are sold for $60 [plus S&H] each! The third one makes us hope no insurance company paid any of the costs of implanting, treating or removing that bordering on medical malfeasance stunt. And that guy is allegedly a professor at some school; wouldn't you be happy to be paying $25,000 a year in tuition to send your kid to a school with that calibre of faculty?

And YIPEE, a giant doggie finally won Westminster! Maybe the heat generated by Mango Minster is having an effect on those fossilized judges at the other Minster? Maybe next year a Great Dane! Or a mastiff would be fine, too.

Jed & Abby

PeeEss: mama sure misses the ability to spell check comments! It was nice having that feature on the Mango Minster blog.

Amber DaWeenie said...

All I can says is.....well.....speechless here.
Hmmmmm! I is rarely speechless!

houndstooth said...

Well good grief! It sounds like his toes were already dead! How could he not notice that? Seriously!

A webcam in your head? Just say no! Hasn't the guy ever heard of just clipping the camera onto his collar?

Bunny

Lorenza said...

Oh-oh!
After reading your post and all those news my brain is working very fast... and I am not so sure i'd be able to sleep!
Hmmm....
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Those Elgin Pugs said...

me was reading yous comments and laughin' -
me likes Abby and Jed take on 'da doggie saving him hooman from septic shockers..

Now, me's was tinking him didn't have arms either and was dipping him toes in peanut butters and fell asleep wits out washing him feets.. Oh no!!!

'da spanks tings.. Josie wears, hu hu's

and 'da mind controls stuffs -
hu hu's..
skeerrrrrrry!!!!!

Me curl ups wit me piggy and go nite nite

Yous twinner,
Anakin Man

ocmist said...

Mr. MANGO! You trying to KILL our Grammy!?!? That first one was gross, but we thought Grammy was gonna die cause she couldn't breathe from laughing so hard at those last two... That middle one had about done her in and then she read the last one. We all set to barking cause she was laughing so hard so we thought we'd better call Robert and then we jumped on her to perform CPR and I guess that worked. The CCC