Don't forget to visit the Mango Minster blog for the final report from our official judge of ethics, Miss Abby, and a helpful list of winners so that you can visit them all.
THREE alarming items which have been recently brought to the attention of the Mango.
Did you read it? Yuh, for sure, so many things wrong with this. First of all, what the heck are those doggies doing in the human bed? That is so totally forbidden around here (well, except for when momma tries to nap in the guest room and accidentally sleeps through dinner time and the Pea goes up and launches on her, but that is OK because otherwise we might starve).
Well, this IS a kind of fierce looking doggie... NOT!
And what about the words that say the human's toes were made of the narcotic tissue? WTF?Looks like those wee pups are headed for rehab.
Note that the above article was sent to my attention by THE BEAST and if I were her mumsie I would wear socks to bed. Just a suggestion...
But wait, there's more...
Item #2 Squeeze pants made from coffee.
Brought to my attention through reading's Meeshka's informative blog. It's the Wacoal iPant Long Leg Shaper For starters, I am doing a big gag me with my paw over the fact that they called it an iPant. Last I heard that "i" in iThings meant internets and I am unclear on what fat squish pants have to do with the internets.
But that aside, these babies contain caffeine which alleges to seep out into the cellulite over the course of the day which apparently will excite your flab muscles in such a way as to magically shrink the dimensions of the thunder thighs.
Rest assured that the caffeine stays there after 100 washes. Sort of like the coffee stains on mom's jammies. And of course the waist and leg openings are laser-finished for, wait for it.. "less bulk." Hey, ladies, let me tell you something. Those thighs are as big as they are and if you squish them on one end, they are going to bubble out on the other causing GIGANTIC knees and most of your bottom to push itself up under your arm pits.
It also comes in a full body version which actually has directions on how to put it on. I say WTF to any article of clothing that requires a user guide. As if!
Friends, the level of human stupidness knows no bounds. Kind of makes licking your butt look like the most normal thing in the world (of course how would I know since my relentlessly huge body does not fold sufficiently for me to lick any further than my equipment).
Watch this actual movie and be amazed.
Like there is something endlessly fascinating going on BEHIND this guy? And yuh, as one reader of YouTube commented, "hasn't he heard of duct tape?" Not to mention, this borders dangerously close to ass cam. There's an image for you.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Some doctor human went to about 87 years of medical school and this is what he does? WTF?
Mango Man! Oh yeah!