Saturday, March 5, 2011

Decisions, decisions...

I, Mango, so look forward to Momma's return from the work place. Weather permitting, I ask to wait on the observation deck as soon as I finish my evening meal so that I can monitor for her approach. As soon as I spot the mastiff mobile coming up the driveway, I begin my mastiff love song.

I know that momma has missed me too and has been busy collecting icky work smells, so I figure my first priority is to rub as much of myself on her as possible. Thus, her entry into the yard is met with most vigorous head butts and body slams. The Pea seems determined to stick his snooter in her eye socket and is all jumping cracker dog.

Now, for reasons which are unclear, this can make momma grouchy, especially when she has actually taken the time to put on the "work clothes" instead of nasty jeans.

So I decided that perhaps instead of mugging her, a more appropriate greeting would be to bring her a stuffie. Of course the midget always emulates my good example. Here we are heading for the toy basket.

I, Mango, am most serious about this and always take the time to consider which stuffie will make her the most joyful on any particular day.

Kitteh or moose, kitteh or moose...

But the indiscriminate labradoink just grabs whatever is on top and thrusts it in her lap most cracker.

Forcing me to abandon my mission and give him a smack down.

Get out of momma's face, fool!

Followed by placement of my large and never quite totally clean head in momma's lap to comfort her after the labrattack which results in slobbers on her work clothes and kind of renders the whole "get a toy instead of mugging me" exercise null and void. Sigh.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I have come to learn that the reason momma is mental fits of late is that she and master are adopting a foster house. That's right. A sad little house that needs lots of TLC before it is ready for its furever family. Apparently the deal will be sealed on Friday and then there will be many photos, so stay tuned.


Steve Finnell said...

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The Thundering Herd said...

Can you believe that there is a part of the house we are not allowed in and that includes the place that the hu-dad puts his work clothes (something about excess dog hair and his work clothes don't belong together). So he actually comes home, changes to real clothes, and then comes to greet us. It takes like five whole minutes after he comes home and we sing protest songs.

More proof of the abuse we suffer.

Jen said...

You would think that Mango Momma would be just as happy to see you as you are to see her, and that she wouldn't care about her work clothes!! That just seems wrong too that PeeWee gets in the way and makes you get slobber all over her!! How dare he?!? ;)

Looking forward to hearing about the foster house!

Jen and the Black Dog Crew

Gus said...

Oh my! A foster House! We think that is a lovely idea, and are eager to see the pictures.

Gussie n teka

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

With all the fur that flies around here, the humans have long given up on keeping the work clothes clean. Phantom is one for grabbing a stuffie to carry around and woo through gritted teeth all the while circling the Momster.

Maybe Momma needs to pack a bag and change at work so she can be fully prepared for the MangoDexter greeting.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Niamh said...

We are sure that your momma appreciates your careful stuffie selection even if Pee Wee ruins it. Can't wait so see the new foster house. Will there be a foster dog to go with it?

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

AFSocksScylla said...

How exciting!!!!!! Having seen the Masters work on your blog we know the family that winds up with the house will be very lucky.

Mommy's can be very weird about their clothes.

Deb said...

what a welcome.....

Amber-Mae said...

Can't wait to see pictures of the new foster house!

Peppy Sheppys said...

A FOSTER house? Oh my that sounds exhausting. Beware, Otis and Edgrr were foster dogs you know. Next thing you know that foster house will be sleeping in your bed and eating your food.

That greeting with stuffies is awfully nice of you. We go for the body slam/eye socket/corgi screaming greeting method.

Sheps, Otis & Edgrr.

Priscilla said...

My mom always has the same complaint but I win all the time! She just has to learn how to live with me.
Look forward to seeing your foster house pictures.

rottrover said...

MangoMan, I always bring mom a toy when she returns from the workplace. My Pushy brother has taken to carrying a couch cushion around in his mouth whenever anything exciting happens. Ugh. Ruby? She just sits by the front door and always must be first to lay eyes on mom.

PeeeS: nice to have a construction project "off site" in mom's opinion...


Lola and also Franklin, too said...

Blog Mom gets the biggest greetings here. It's not that we love her better than the others. It's that she's the only one who's on a steady routine and we can get ourselves really worked up in time for her arrival from work. Franklin is the one who inflicts the most damage. So far two handbags and her winter coat are showing the effects of his delight that she's gotten home safely once again. It's a tough job, greeting the folks, but somedoggy's got to do it.

The Boston Lady said...

Mango, even though your momma may act like she is put off by the mugging and slobbering, I will bet secretly she is delighted and that your and the Pea's greeting is one of the best parts of her day! Hmmm a foster-house, sounds quite stressful to me as well. Go easy on the ol' gal, her mentals are not as strong as yours. Ann TBL

Erika and Blair,xoxo said...

When my Mom goes missing, I always greet her with lots of meows and rubs too. Sometimes she even trips coming in the door. I just know that when she comes home before she sets her things down that she wants to love me.

Ludo van Doggy said...

What a nice way to greet your peoples! Sometimes when Mum has only beed gone for a little while I stay asleep and stretch and yawn slowly when she comes back. She not too impressed with that. But I bite her hands and give her kisses when she leaves me at grandpawents for a long time.

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

Maybe if you bring your mom a towel instead of a stuffie...

Happy, Waggin' Tails, FUREVER!
Stumpy and me

tula said...

thinkin' woo need to get your momma some protective grrrr eeting gear (aka rain cape) and a sign to remind her. pullease put on PGG before entrying. problem solved. no problem!

pee es: woo might leave out the head butting part.


Frankie Furter said...

Tula is SOOOOO CORRECT!! That would solve the problem fur sure.

Will you and Pea get to help with the Re-Training of the foster house? It would go MUCH smoother if you are!!!

brooke said...

I think Stumpy has the right idea! A towel would be perfect!
Cant wait to see the foster house. The master Im sure will be the perfect person to whip it into shape!

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

Gosh we have never heard of foster houses before! We hope the deal goes through on Friday and we too look forward to seeing the photos.

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie.

Pee S. Thank you for our Christmas card we received it this morning! lol. The British Postal service tracked us down eventually. Thank you for sending us our card we appreciate it.

Charlie said...

Who would not want such a relentlessly huge head in her lap, slobber or no?

Sounds like your new foster is house-broken, but I'm sure you'll put it to rights.
- Charlie

Rudy - The dog with a blog said...

I think Liberty is now wanting to make up her own "Masiff love song" :)

I love how the words cover Dexter's face, in the header picture, so cute!

Rudy's Raiser

Marjie said...

Good for Momma and Master! This will keep them off the streets and out of the bars. Plus, it will give you lots of constructions to oversee!


Maggie and Mitch said...

We can't wait to see pictures of the foster house! This will keep your momma and Master busy!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

pat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cyber-sibes said...

A foster house of your very own? that's great! We've been loving ours for about a year now, its responding well. we love our furever home home!

Sounds like your mama is one hard biped to please. Surely placing a stuffie in her lap would have turned ours to jello! But, as mom reads this, she says she understands the "work clothes" thing - we aren't allowed to shed on her when she's all gussied up either.
Well, don't give up. Sure would love to hear your massive Mango love song sometime.

jack & moo

Mimi and CC Cabana said...

Oh to be loved thusly, with gifts and heads in lap and snuffles and slobbers! Cabana rarely gets up off her bed when we come home. We're lucky if she even raises her head!

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! You will definitely be busy. Looking forward to see foster house. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

FiveSibesMom said...

Bringing MangoMomma stuffie toys??? That is sweet and kind. You can bring me some! Of course, the Sibes may steal them...and then tear them to shreds, but I would love it! Hugs to you, Mango!!! Good luck with the foster house! Just think, more rooms for you and Labrapal to investigate!!! Oh, fun times are-a-comin'!!!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

The khytteh fur sure!


ann said...

Mango, we can relate.We like to great momma with a choice toy from our basket and rub white hairs all over her black coat! A foster house! Cool!

houndstooth said...

Ha ha ha! I think your greeting sounds perfectly wonderful. I don't see what your mama would put up such a fuss about. Mom says her occupational hazards are paint, glue and safety scissors, so dog hair on her clothes isn't that much of an issue!

A foster house? I am all shades of curious!


KB said...

Maybe Mango Momma can keep a set of coveralls in her vehicle and put them on before you two greet her. Obviously, they'd need to be slobber-proof and fur-proof... but that seems doable.

Myself, I'd love your greeting, work clothes or not! We call it "The Hero's Welcome" here.

A foster house... now that's a concept!

Carol from Down Under said...

Hi Mango, maybe you could take Momma shopping for some tasteful vinyl trousers and matching jacket and then the slobber will just hose off. Of course she would be the envy of all her workmates too. Fashionable and practical, you can't go wrong. Then she would welcome you with open arms. Keep on trying big dude. A foster house, interesting. No worries, love Carol.

Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, way to give your mom the best welcome waggin' treatment! I'm totally convinced that no outfit is really complete without drool and snot-smears. I make it a point to be sure no one gets out of this house without a little Sarge fur. Gotta let them know how much we miss them. Hey, if there is remodeling in your future, keep the duct, er I mean duck, er whatever tape handy! They seem to always need that.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
My mom knows about those greetings when she comes from work... but thankfully her work clothes... are nasty jeans and demin shirts!
A foster home?? Hmmm.... sounds interesting! Let us know more about it, ok?
Happy saturday!
Kisses and hugs

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

So Mango Master finished the basement renovation already? Where are the pictures? Maybe Frankie Furter can come help with the foster house, after all the practice he got working with the Mango Master during his MM sequestration.

Mama threw in the towel decades ago on the doggie hair and slobber issue. She color coordinates her wardrobe to our fur color and everything she owns is wash and wear, no ironing required. Not elegant, but very practical.

Jed & Abby

PeeEss: The comments page has been changed and now the spell check works! Mama is doing her happy dance. Thanks, Mango Momma!

Kirby, CGC said...

Hi dudes,
When my mom comes home, I too grab a stuffie, but I run like cracker dog through the house and make her try to catch makes her laugh!


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

It is Sunday - we can only hope that your Mom's head has not exploded. BTW, we just generally try to maul Mom when she comes home - usually she's carrying her big ski bag, which makes her defenseless against our lovings. Heehee.

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Sue said...

Our Dad has been know to get dressed in the garage to avoid dog hair and slobber, but Mom doesn't really have work clothes, since we're her work. She does get upset when Bailey or Norma Jean put paw prints on her just after she puts on clean stuff. Humans can be very silly. Who doesn't want paw prints on their shirts?
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Sheesch...I think the idea of getting rid of those icky work smells is fabulous, Mango. I have noticed that Mumsie is quite grouchy coming home of late, especially when we bring in buckets of mud, mulch and ick from the yardie. She then goes ballistic tryin' to wipe all the skins from our paws...dunno...the hooman mind is odd indeed.

What a lovely idea for you to adopt a foster house...I do have a bid in on it, BTW. I would so love to be your neighbor.


Honey the Great Dane said...

Hi Mango - sorry I've been so MIA lately but my paws have been a bit full with a bit of hissing, spitting kitty fluff!

A foster house? I've never heard of such a thing! So does that mean your Momma & Master are going to look for a good forever family for it when they have finished giving it some TLC? Don't you get to live in it at all and enjoy your hard work?

That was very funny about your daily greeting routine. I have to say, the Grab-A-Stuffie technique can have its perils too. See, that's what I've got used to but the problem is, I'm so used to it now that if there isn't a stuffie handy near the door to grab when visitors come, I get really frantic and try to grab anything that comes to paw...this can mean Paul's nice work shoes or Hsin-Yi's cap or a sofa cushion - or sometimes the visitor's arm! For some reason, this often results in visitors screaming and claiming that I'm trying to bite their arm off. Honestly! The idiots - if I had really wanted to bite their arm off, they wouldn't be standing around talking about it! The worst that can happen is that they get a bit slobbered. But it doesn't seem to appease them and Hsin-Yi is left with a lot of explaining to do. So now my humans are always anxiously making sure that there are stuffies by the door for me and if there isn't for some reason and I look like I'm abut to take a chunk out of somebody's sleeve, they quickly direct me back into the house with a manic "Where's your toy, Honey? Where's your toy?" - that usually reminds me that I left my stuffie under the dining table and I go off to retrieve it, leaving the visitors unslimed...

So yeah - tell your Momma that maybe slobber on on her work clothes is better than slobber on terrified visitors! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

the booker man said...

that happens at our house, too, mango. i keep woofin' to mama that that's just what comes with havin' doggies, and she needs to stop wearin' dark colors. light colors blend in the furs 'n droolies better (in our case at least). heehee.
a foster house sounds excitin'! i can't wait to see pics! :)

the booker man

Moose said...

Moose! Always pick the Moose! It is better at catching slobbers than Kitteh! Maybe momma needs to put on some of master's coveralls before she comes in!
Very exciting about the foster house! Is it a boy or a girl? I bet it is old and won't want to play with you like most of my foster pals. Tiny hound was fun though so if it is a small brown house then maybe it will be fun!

Kari in WeHo said...

Mesa likes to bring me a nylabone :) Big Carl bites my butt


CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

This is hilarious! I can't imagine coming home to TWO!