Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Life is Tough Tuesday by Dexter

Warning! This post contains many words and few pictures.
First off, I am apologizing in advance that the RH and I will not be commenting much this week or even (gasp) reading blogs due to momma having mental fits over some such goings on to which I am not privvy. Fear not, I, Dexter, pre-loaded a couple of posts this weekend for your reading pleasure.

You know what isn't fair? I have to try so much harder and be such a much better dog than the Relentlessly Huge just to get momma's attention. It's true!

Take Sunday for example...

It snowed, again, which really energized me, but left momma feeling lethargic and despondent. No problem. I figured a nice long walk with me would cheer her up. I took her on a three mile tour of the neighborhood. I even walked slower than I wanted to so that she would not get too fatigued from walking in her boots through the snow.

Along the way I followed lots of paths left by other dogs and we even stopped and chatted with a neighbor who was shoveling his driveway and I was very polite and let him pat me even though he was a stranger danger.

Of course I did puff up and bark at one guy. But it was a teenage boy for goodness sake. Plus he was waving a car scraper around in a way I did not like. Do you think the DOH would be grateful? NO! She called me an a&%hole! Right in front of that kid!

I was feeling so sad that she would not perk up and get rid of her grouchies, I even tried to entertain her by forming a little labraslobber icicle off my black lips.

I don't know what got into me. Grasping at straws I suppose.

She brought along the flashy, but even that turned out uninspiring as you can see here.

Did you watch the movie? That was so boring I kind of dozed off during it.

I felt like I hadn't done my job. I had done everything! Got her blood flowing, made cute face, protected her, greeted a neighbor, but by the time we got home she was hardly putting one foot in front of another. Gosh, I even refrained from pooping so she wouldn't complain about carting around a bag of you know what. Still, I felt like a failure in my duty to help momma be happy.

THEN, she put the flashy away and grabbed the Relentlessly Huge to walk HIM. Ha, I thought, this will be short because he is such a royal pain to walk even under the best of circumstances. Oh how wrong I was, because momma returned with a spring in her step and the dinosaur sized beastie with a self satisfied grin on his face.

It appears on his arduous half mile walk, he let momma talk to a neighbor without going mental fits cracker dog (yeah, but from a distance of about 20 feet). Plus he barked at some lady shoveling her driveway, but it seems when momma told him to "stand down" he did and he even got a cookie (still had some stuck in his sloppy jowls)! Oh yeah, and momma was all proud of him because their walkie was on a route that he hasn't been on in three whole years due to his "issues" (nice word for being a big doofus head on his walks if you ask me).

I just can't win.

My only consolation is that I get to go to day camp today while the slobber monster stays home. But even that is tinged with jealousy as we are expecting the arrival of a new cold box today and I am certain that some items will be defrosted and ready to eat RIGHT NOW and where will I be? Stuck at camp hump a lot whilst the big cry baby momma's dog gets all the noms.

Poor me...

Dexter done!

P.S. By Mango Momma - Truth is that I was very depressed by the snowfall, but Dexter was an angel on his walk. Yes, I did say a-hole, but very quietly and I didn't think he heard me and it wasn't for the barking but for running to the end of his leash across the street. Mango's walk was a huge milestone as he was able to react to stranger danger but then simmer down and we did venture into a populated neighborhood where we have not been for some time (but the poor guy was quite sore from slogging through the snow). Yup, I finally decided to euthanize our old fridge and the new one arrives today! Woo hoo!


monica said...

ok - this shows how a story can have several sides... What made me smile the most was "even got a cookie (still had some stuck in his sloppy jowls)! "... I can so relate to that!
But one ALMOST gets some sympathy for Dexter "aim-to-please" ! Even though he gets to go "humpalot" :o))
roars from Bundy

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

You are a VERY GOOD BOY, Dexter!!!

Bouncing Bertie said...

Oh Dexter, I would like to thank you for always making me feel pleased that I am an 'only dog'. Sometimes when I read other blogs, I feel a bit sad that I do not have a live-in canine companion to play with, but your posts always help me see that there is a darker side to having to share your human.
Toodle pip!

Winterdark said...

I feel you suffering Dexter. I often feel Mom and Dad spend too much time with Puppy. And a new fridge! That's exciting, we got one last year but Mom made me stay in the stairwell!


Wild Dingo said...

Dex, you get no respect! Come to Wild Dingo where labradoinks are labraloved, especially by Mr. WD who has a big 'ole soft spot for labradoinks.

next time poop on the walk. that is probably what makes her happy.

Jen said...

Poor Mango Momma, I understand the weather related depression. I've never been so happy to see a month go, as I was to see Feb. done. And, it went out with a blizzardy storm that closed the highways down and nearly didn't let me get home to the dogs! So, I get it!! Hang in there, it's March- Spring HAS to be coming now, right??

As for Dex, sorry bud!! It's hard sometimes to perk your human up, but no worries, the foodbox will help! I'm sure there will still be something yummy for you to sniff at, at very least!

Yeah Mango!! Relentlessly Huge good work!!!!! I love hearing about successes like that!! :)

Jen and the Black Dog Crew

Amber-Mae said...

Gosh, what a depressing movie, Dex. I understand how you feel busy. I have been through this kind of thing before. Whenever I try to cheer up my hoomie, it seems to make her more irritated. You're a good dog, Dex & I know Momma will save some noms for you until you get back home.

Priscilla said...

Dear Dexter, I can assure you that you've done a good job to cheer your mom up. Don't worry, it's the snow and the gray weather which upset her,she'll be fine the next day morning. She loves you as much as your giant brother, so cheer up, Dexter :)

Gus said...

woo hooo...enjoy the new fridge. But they can be very confusing. Like, ours insists on beeping when I am standing there with the door open trying to resist temptation. Who knew 'fridges could be such snitches?


The Boston Lady said...

I hope you will see the last of the snow Momma. Dexter you did your best to cheer her up, but sometimes we just need to wallow a bit, we humans that is. So glad Mango was able to walk the old route and control his stranger danger impulses. Here's hoping you get some sun and that snow starts melting. Ann

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

We feel your pain, Dexter. We haven't had much luck here either in cheering up the Momster. Even Ciara tried to help by killing a monster in the yard yesterday. But we are having a tough time with her. And we don't even have any snow!!!

Congrats to your brother for his great walk - Momma must be so proud of him.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

don't worry about other blogs and comments just post pictures of mango and dexter. but this short video might be worth your while

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oh--that is kinda long--hope i did that right--oh well

Channon said...

It's all a matter of perspective. Gretchen thinks Sis gets all the attention, especially now with the one eye thing and the Best in Show bit (thank you!), while Sis gets tired of seeing the wee one scooped up and smooched just because she's little...

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

Way to go Mango!!! That is awesome news about his walk!

Anonymous said...

I feel a bit guilty for saying this, but I found your little story quite amusing. Too bad your momma was depressed about the foul weather (humans are such wimps) but from what I can tell, you did absolutely EVERYthing you possibly could to cheer her up. The fact that her mood improved after her outing with the RH is more a reflection of her altered (screwed up) mental state than any shortcomings on your part. You're a good dog Dexter.

PeeS - the movie was a real snoozer, but so not your fault.

Amber DaWeenie said...

Hey Dex....you jus keep tryin' to take good cares of your Mama. She really 'preciates it but jus don't snows it....my Mom is da same ways. Now goes and puts your head in her lap and looks at hers wit soulfur eyes...gets 'em everytime.

Frankie Furter said...

Dexter buddy I have decided that LIFE is a cruel JOKE.. and MOMS are the worstest of all. I mean look what my mom did to me with the Cookie sheet and dish drainer/not a real sled thingy.

Well at least you got a new cold foods box.. and you are going to camp hunch a bunch.
Spring is IS IS coming.

Benny and Lily said...

Dexter Dexter Dexter... We know mommas exaggerate
Benny & Lily

Sue said...

Oh Dexter, I know exactly how you feel. My Mom insists on training and working with those worthless pups, even though she has me, Fudge, available for anything she wants to do. Today she even announced that she's starting Norma Jean in school! Can you believe it?

Hang in there, Buddy.

Anny said...

Poor Dexter... we know you tried real hard.. you do. Your last picture is so sad... come and stay with me.

woofs n licks,

rottrover said...

Oh Pea. You are such a happy guy! Don't let her get you down. Sometimes Moms are just crabby. We are happy to learn that both you and the RH are calmer and more social on your walkies. And you stayed with your crabby momma for 3 whole miles!! We'd like to see RH do that, even if he wasn't sore :-)

-Giz, Bart and Ruby

PeeeSss: We'd send you some sunshine, but we got nuthin'. March and April are usually our rainiest times of the year. It's OK. We're trying to grow our hills back after the Station Fire a year and a half ago...

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I'm trying to figure out why Master Chew Sits feels it must keep ALL the snow to itself -


Kari in WeHo said...

Poor Dex!


Carol from Down Under said...

Hi Dexter, sometimes people just get the miseries and thats that. You are a good boy to try and get your Momma happy again. Keep on trying little dude. To Mango Momma, your last paragraph re Mango, made my heart ache and be happy at the same time. Well done. P.S. pass on a big old hug from me to the dudes. No worries, love Carol

Marjie said...

Dexter, your Momma admits you are a good boy. My momma is having mental fits over the snow, too, and wishes the (HBO Words) weather idiots would have just listened to that blasted rodent and sent spring early. Fear not, I know your Momma will save some of the wonderful defrosted food for you! After all, we never hear of you being pudgy.


Mimi and CC Cabana said...

Dexter, you just get your labraself over here to our house. We'll let you cry over your full-bowl-that-overfloweth-with-good-things along with Cabana. Life can be so...fair sometimes!

Maggie Mae said...


Come to my house and play wif me and my three lab cuzins, we will all have lots of fun!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

PeeS Mom and me luvs you all!

Stella said...

Hey Dexter, Hop a Greyhoud and come to Minnesota. We still have plenty of snow and then when that thaws, we have great big lakes to swim in all summer. My Mom would love it if you came (she calls you PeeWee!) and you would not have to depend on Camp Humpalot for fun.


Stella said...

Hey Dexter, Hop a Greyhoud and come to Minnesota. We still have plenty of snow and then when that thaws, we have great big lakes to swim in all summer. My Mom would love it if you came (she calls you PeeWee!) and you would not have to depend on Camp Humpalot for fun.


Maggie and Mitch said...

You're such a good boy, Dexter. Your momma needs to see flowers and some color and some green grass soon, just as our mom does.

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Asta said...

That is the saddest tail I've heawd in a long time. I think you wewe valient and wondewful in youw effowts to cheew youw Mom. I think it will take the melting of the snow to get hew out of hew deep fweeze mode, although I'm glad that at least Mango's accomplishment put a smile on hew face.
Huwwah fow the ice boxy..hope you bof got the defwosted yummies fwom the old one
smoochie kisses

Sierra Rose said...

Oh yeah! Well...you both got walkies with mom AND a new fridge! I go a bit cracker when on the leash and mom stops for a chat, or an unknown specticle appears..and I do get some random days at doggie camp...I think we might be on the same program Dexter! Keep it good pal :)

Sweet hugs,
Sierra Rose

jen said...

I love the frozen slobber Dex!! Good job:)
Don't worry about the name calling! I call Leroy an asshole all the time, he thinks it means good boy:)

Congrats on the new fridge:)

Lola and also Franklin, too said...

Sometimes I kind of know how you feel, Dexter. I, Lola, am the "good one". You can count on me to listen, never bark, always be good at the vet, never make them nervous when we meet strangers, be they little kids, small doggies or big humans. But they're used to that. They kind of take it for granted. If Franklin makes it through a grooming session with no threat of a lawsuit everyone's thrilled and you know what? They love him just as much as me. But no one ever said life was fair.

Lorenza said...

Don't feel sad! You sure make your mom happy no matter what!
And Mango too!
Congratulations on your new cold box!
I hope it is big enough for your foodables!
Kisses and hugs

TwoSpecialWires said...

Just how many variables can one (or two dogs deal with all at one time? We're thinking bears may have the right idea. Hibernate until spring and then come out and enjoy the warmth and color and renewed energy. And food. Yep. Food.

Hang in there. All of ya.
Jake and Fergi and Moma

tula said...

oh and those are the days of a labradoinky's life.. that is the saddest labrodoinky story i've evah heard this side of the mass pike. geesh.

mango plz do something.

ocmist said...

Oh, Dexter, I SOOOO sympathize with you!!! BG is getting a lot of attention because he is alpha male ( which I have a big argument about) and I am supposed to give in to him... NOT happening at this time! Grammy is really upset with us and is doing a lot of tightening up on discipline. She's also very depressed about us, and sometimes even wonders if I need to go to another home where I won't have to compete for attention. She says that she knows I'm not happy very much (I'm not) and it breaks her heart. Well, If she would just make BG be second best, I feel that this would all work out MUCH BETTER! Gimli

KB said...

Oh Dexter. All you can do is everything perfectly and if that doesn't make her smile, what can you do? You sound perfect to me, if that's any consolation.

Too bad about the foodables that you might miss... but day camp is really fun, isn't it?

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

So glad Mango had a good "none issue" walk! And Dexter, you are a good boy! I'm sure your long walk made it possible for Mom to be so cheerful later!

Moose said...

That is the story of My life here with the foster pals. Momma does cartwheels because phoebe didn't pee in the house or Willie rings the bell or Lucas went in his crate. ALL stuff that I already do! Sheesh! WE are so un-appreciated! DO you know how many times I am out sunbaking when I detect a clicker sound and smell snacks only to come running in and find they have vaporized! Terrible!

the booker man said...

sometimes it's hard bein' the good doggie, dexter, but you tried your bestest, and that's all that matters!
you gotta admit, though, it is a grrreat thingie that the RH had a really good walkie!

the booker man