Hey, remember when I told you we were getting a foster house? Well, it finally happened yesterday and the upshot for ME is that momma says we will have even LESS time to spend on the internets. I have been watching the whole process unfold and have many words to tell the tale. You can read it if you have time...
A while back momma and master received a piece of paper in the mail that caused great excitement. They said it was something called the Deed to our estate and it meant that they owned it at last. Who knew? All this time somebody called Bank had owned ever decreasing portions of our estate. Gosh, I'm kind of glad I was unaware of that because I would hate to have pooped or peed on something that belonged to somebody else. Er, not really, I do that all the time, but it sounds good when I say it.
Well, shortly there after, during one of the big snows, some dude came to our estate and he looked into every nook and cranny and wrote things down on a big clipboard. I thought he seemed like a nice enough guy. I even let him examine my basket of stuffies.
A couple of days later, Bank called us up and said they would give momma and master a big bag of money. Wow! That sure was nice of them. But then they said that as long as momma and master had the big bag o' cash, they would have to send many dollars of interest (are there boring dollars as well?) to Bank and if they did not give the whole bag back soon enough then that clipboard guy would come back and take over our house and throw us out into the street. That sounded bad to me.
But Master took the bag of cash anyway and he offered to give it to a different guy named Bank and in return Bank would give him a sad little house that nobody wanted to live in. Master said, "Don't worry, Mango, I will make that house all pretty and soon some other people will give me an even bigger bag of cash and I will pay back Bank and even have some dollars left over to buy you lots of stuffies and foodables and maybe even a new bed." Hmmm... that sounds kind of tempting.
Still, the whole thing has caused me a big of heartburn what with all the monies flying about and wringing of hands and mental fits going on around here. Plus I was worried that Master would spend all his time with our new foster house and neglect ME.
Fear not, Master assures me that he will continue to spend his days in the barn building cabinets and moldings and whatnot for our foster home whilst his tool time buddies who have fewer miles on them and a bit more vigor do the heavy lifting.
One of Master's pals is even going to stay at the foster house to keep it company during the rehabilitation and to make sure that no hooligans get it into their heads to pay a visit and scare the hapless little abode.
Along the way, Master has made a new "friend" called Mr. Real Estate Lawyer (as opposed to his partner Mr. Fake Estate Lawyer I presume). I don't think he is much of a friend as he charges Master many dollars just for the pleasure of his company. Worse still, if this Mr. Real Estate even THINKS about our foster house, he sends a bill. That seems wrong.
AND he has Master convinced that he is now a corporation. Huh? How gullible can you get? Master says it is to protect our ass sets in case the house proves to be unadoptable or it hurts somebody. What are ass sets anyway? I am going to do some research because I am not sure Master has any but they do sound like something that would make a nice wedding gift for Prince William, "Oh look, Kate, that charming chap, Mango, from the states has sent us this lovely ass set. Do let's display it prominently at the palace, what?" I look forward to my thank you note.
Real Estate Lawyer asked for even more dollars to check and see if anybody was leaning on the house. "Bah!" says I, "surely we can just drive by in the mastiff mobile to figure that one out." Nope, guess not, because people can lean on a house and be invisible, like hidden in the internets and Lawyer dude found a whole bunch of them who said they would keep leaning until the people who used to live in the house gave THEM bags of money.
Some of those leaners are kind of scary too. Folks like Mr. Infernal Revenues and Ms. Divorce Lawyer. But I do feel sorry for one leaner called Mr. I Came and Fixed Your Burst Pipe in the Middle of the $&*% Winter and You Still Haven't Paid Me Construction Dude.
Are you dizzy yet?
Finally Mr. Real Estate Lawyer made the Leaners go away. It wasn't easy because I think the people that used to live in the foster house spent many dollars they did not have and even after we give them a bag of money for the house they will not have enough left to scare away all of the leaners. That is kind of sad for everybody.
Yesterday it finally happened. Yup, the foster home is now ours to tend to. Which means that Master will be very busy and even when he isn't doing actual work, his mentals and physicals will have fatigue. So no time for him to run errands for us or play tennis ball during the day. Sure, we'll be able to play in the yard and sun bake while he works in the barn, but it isn't the same, is it?
I'm worried that the Pea will resume his rock eating habits so it is up to me to keep an eye out for that. I started doing the annual pruning of the trees and shrubs. I think that was pretty big of me, but Master told me to cut it out. Just trying to help, sheesh.
Momma will be picking up the slack. Don't know what slack is but apparently picking it up is very strenuous because it makes her tired for sure.
All of which leads me to my sad topic which is that we will be most decidedly absent from blog land for a few months. MONTHS! Can you stand it? Oh dear. Lots of mark all as read and few comments and possibly posts from me only maybe once or twice a week (fear not, I already pre-loaded a post for Thursday).
Of course I can't complain, can I? Because Master is super happy about all this and momma is taking me on more walkies to help me with my physical fitness, but I do worry about missing my friends. You all have to promise to let me know if anything really big happens, OK?
While I am not allowed to actually visit the foster house, I will be helping momma post weekly updates and there will be photos coming in a few days to show you what it looks like now so you can keep score at home on the progress.
Big stuff for sure.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!