Sunday, June 5, 2011

Stupid Training on Sunday (with video)

Now the Mango is all about training and learning new tricks because, well, it typically involves hot dogs!

But lately, the DOH has taken to forcing me to do something so stupid, so mind numbingly boring, that one has to wonder if she has finally lost her scant few marbles.

See this post?

She's gotten it into her wee little brain that it will be "fun" for me to walk around it. What?

Plus, I have overheard her saying to the master, "Oh Master! I will teach the doggies to go around the post from a distance and then all I have to do to exercise them is stand in the yard and wait for them to come back." As if!

The Mango is nothing if not a good sport and so, yeah, I admit that I go around it a couple of times just to entertain her and earn some noms.

In fact I go so fast that sometimes the post becomes tipsy from the wind of my large and only going counter clockwise self.

But let's get real. It is a stupid thing to do (well unless you are a suck up little midget).

Not to mention when the idiot lab starts going around and getting noms, well, I just HAVE to knock him out of the way and get some hot dogs for myself, which is exhausting.

So I signal "game over" by chomping on momma's curiously fragile digits. A ploy that sometimes leads to hot dog escape which is unfortunate, but her squeals of joy are well worth having to snuffle on the ground for my yummers.

You know why that picture is blurry? Because it is from a movie that momma made of the "go around the pole" activities. Yup, she actually said, "Oh Mango! This is such an exciting trick that I am sure your friends will want to see!"

Could be... but not because it is an exciting trick but because any movie in which my large and moving with grace self is featured is compelling to view.

However, as you will see in the following movie (which you can also watch here), I let my annoyance be known throughout by howling the HBO words at the vacuous human.

Did you hear me? I believe I was quite explicit that we will NOT be doing this anymore (and if you think she is going to place that pole halfway across the yard and make me run out to it while the she stands still just for one little hot dog you got another thing coming for sure). Exercise is a two way street, lady.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Bouncing Bertie said...

You know Mango, I think we have the makings of a new scientific law here, which could be expressed by an interesting equation involving the following parameters:

N = number of noms on offer
I = interest level of the trick (for dogs)
T = tastiness of the treats on offer
w = walking distance involved for human
i = involvement of suck up labs
t = time wasted that could better be spent relaxing

Oh yes, that all adds up to:


Toodle pip!

Niamh said...


We have to do that ridiculous trick too except with little orange cones that you, in your relentlessly hugeness, would just step on. Very boring especially now that Barbara has put out two cones and is trying to get us to do a figure eight around them! Do not let your DOH do this as it will make you dizzy.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

pam said...

Here in Michigan No Means NO!!! Perhaps things are different in Master Chew Sits. Just Sayin.

Bobo and MEja

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

The things you dogs will do for hotdogs never ceases amaze me!

Happy, Waggin' Tails, FUREVER!
Stumpy and me

Gus said...

OK, next time you are tired, just fetch the stick, OK?

And we do the thing with the cones too...which is BORING.

I likr Bertie's explanation.


Droopy, Smiley, and Kayah said...

What a funny video Mango! Seems to us you make it around that pole faster that Dexter does! The things we do for treats!!!

The CheeseHounds

Reilly / Bree said...

You tell her Big Dude - and personally I think sitting on the pole and breaking it in half would be a really good trick!!!

tula said...

ok mango.. finally! no pole = game ovah! especially since your momma's ears have fallen deaf on your chewbaca moans & goans!! (at least she didn't make woo wear a tutu)


Anonymous said...

Hardy Har Har Mango good show trashin the stick BOL! Bet you waited til all the hot dogs were gone though huh? ;D

Your HBO vocabulary is becoming quite extensive! Mom covered my ears for most of the video :O I did catch a few of your choicer terms though heh heh ;)

Waggin at ya,

Frankie Furter said...

OMD OMD... Bertie really put it all in a Nut Shell...
Nut Shell=you momma BaaaWaaah
Nut Shell=Pea... Whichever.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

You tell her, Mango - no way is one tiny hot dog bit enough for all that silly round-the-pole stuff. But we did find it rather humorous to watch you correct yourself and ONLY go counter clockwise. Is that a special rule of the silly game?

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Berts Blog said...

Oh Mango Dude,

I know you really did enjoy doing it. I could tell you were having fun.

But dang it, every time one of you bloggy friends do something new and what appears to be fun to my Vickie, then she starts thinkin I should try it.

couldn't you do something that involves More bigger treats and less work.

Just a suggestion.....


Agatha and Archie said...

HAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY it is us.. Listen it took us this long to get over that thunderstorm... PL2 put on your video and we went into the bomb shelter( and that was with the sound off) That was too freaky...... As for that pole?... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? what good is that besides making you dizzy?? You really should try going through the tunnel to get the rat.. maybe not.. the tunnel would have to be really big..... Love A+A

sagechronicles said...

I know what you mean about doing stupid tricks for those hotdogs. I have to jump over these sticks so I can get some. I guess whatever makes them happy.....

Stella said...

My Mom doesn't ask me to do any of that stuff, Does that mean she doesn't love me? All we do is go for walkies, play a little ball, run some errands. Should I be learning about walking around poles? Why?

Please let me know. Thanks,


The Boston Lady said...

Mango, how could your momma not know what you were saying to her. I understood perfectly "Lady, if you don't stop this nonsense, tomorrow morning when you come out to the backyard, your little pole is going to be in teensy weensy pieces." With a few HBO words thrown in of course. Good job guys! Ann TBL

bbes tribe said...

Maybe if you had 2 poles and a whole hot dog, it would be worth it. Then again,,, maybe not. BUT you look good anywat Mango. OR maybe she can go around some poles to actually show you the trick???

Sue said...

It's kind of interesting that you go in different directions around the pole. Is one of you left pawed?

We think if our Mom tried this, we'd just grab the pole and bring it to her.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

The Thundering Herd said...

Mango, when you want a game to be over, you just take things into your own paws. But Dext being a labradude and all, I bet he was out there constructing a new pole.

rottrover said...

Mango, we agree with every word you said! It WAS silly and Pea is a kiss up!! Butt it sure looked fun!!

-Gizmo, Bart and Ruby

Lorenza said...

Good way to finish the training time!
Happy Sunday!
Kisses and hugs

houndstooth said...

"Her squeals of joy!" Bwaaa ha ha! Mango, you never cease to bring the entertainment factor!

I think you're going to have to really draw your line in the sand on this one and let her know that exercise must be done with a leash outside the back yard. I mean, really, who ever heard of just running around a pole?!


Honey the Great Dane said...

Hmm, Mango - in spite of your words in this post, I detected a lot of disturbing enthusiasm as you went around the pole in that video! My God, your speed! You'd never catch me going round anything that fast!!

But it'a really good to see you back to your old bouncy self!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Benny and Lily said...

oh Mango that pole stuff is nutty, moms are weird
Benny & Lily

Maggie and Mitch said...

Poor Mango! We agree - that is a nutty game but at least you got treats! We love the expression on your face as you're chompin' down on your momma's fingers! haha

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Wild Dingo said...

OMD! I laughed so hard! that darn midget suck up sure needs a take down now and then... good of you to do it in the middle of his trick!

you inspired a new trick for us! now i have to go out and torture my two with the same trick... cuz it looks like fun to torture them that way! booowahahahaha!

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

I'm afraid your Mom has some mighty high hopes about the exercise pole! LOL!

Marjie said...

Exercising without Momma? Yeah, right. She's a dreamer.


KB said...

Good job, RH! My dogs object to games like that one too. I'm about to start a new game, hiding a toy outside at the start of our walk and making them find it at the end of our evening walk. Does that sound like fun? Yes, treats will be involved!

Michelle said...

You know us humans...always hung up on pointless activities! But, rest assured, I am on your side! Too hot for poles right now!