So last night I'm all sleeping and digesting my din dins and momma says, "OK, dogs, time for tennis ball!" Wow! I'm in!
But when I went to get up, my front foot didn't work right and it hurt a lot and I just kind of sat there with my foot dangling like a sack of marbles saying, "WTF? What is wrong with my foot?"
I finally did get up and hop hop hop I go out the door, but anybody who knows a giant sized dog such as myself knows that not using a front leg is the same as not walking. So I had to use it a little but it hurt so I just kind of laid down.
Then momma gets totally freaked out. "OMG! Mango! What is wrong with you?" And she and master are poking and prodding my foot and leg. "Mango" they say "tell us where it hurts." Hehehe. Nope, my little secret.
Next thing I know, momma is saying to Master, "well, he has to potty." So they kind of hoist me up (most undignified) and get me going down the stairs. But, well, my big old bottom wanted to go faster than my front end and I sort of crash landed with my hind legs all in a twist and whatnot. Master untangled me and I did my potty.
Now Momma is beside herself freaking out and she keeps taking my temperature every two seconds and staring at me and I admit I was having a bit of a worry getting to sleep and I felt kind of icky in general.
I even almost went to the emergency room, but I pretended to be asleep so that momma would think I was cured. How about that?
But this morning, I forgot to pretend my foot didn't hurt and momma and master took me to the vet.
She says, "hey Mango! Your foot is all swelled up!" And I say, "no kidding, lady." Duh.
So vet lady starts giving me the once over for sure. She took aspirations out of a bump on my tail, she took my pee, she took my poo, and she took my temperature using the anal probe (yoiks).
Vet lady says, "Oh Mango, you must have been stung by a bad insect and you have the cellulite o sis. And by the way, your poo looks nasty and what's up with all the pee lately?" I just gave her the evil eye. How the heck should I know?
So, many, many, MANY dollars lighter, home we go with an economy sized bottle of anti bio ticks, and some more of that metacam stuff and the promise that all my bodily fluids are being looked in to.
Now, look, do you see my foot? Do you see how big it is? OW! OW! OW! Dammit!
Look! Here is my normal foot. It is like 3 inches across.
And here is my swelled up foot! Totally over 4 inches! If this keeps up it will be too big to get through the door.
Look! I'm wearing my dumb sports bra. Frankly I was impressed by how readily Momma lifted my front end in and out of the mastiff mobile by hoisting the back of my sports bra. I think she was using her special momma muscles because normally she is kind of a weakling.
Vet lady says I should be feeling much better in a day or so. I certainly hope so. But she made worried face about my pee an poo and tail bump, so I guess momma will make worried face as well until she gets the test results back.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!
P.S. Momma thinks that maybe I got stung by one of the ground wasps in our yard.