Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My New Bed

Before I start, I have a relentlessly huge announcement.

Miss Mayzie is sponsoring a very special rescue me week in honor of her beloved Grampa J the week of November 7th. All you need to do is post about an orphaned furry and let her know (but you need to wait until that week, OK?). If you are forgetful, like my momma, you can preload your post. Mayzie will be donating a ton of green dollars to rescues so do try and participate.

You can read about it here.

And now, my words for the day.

Recently, I received a box in the mail the contents of which were for Me, Mango, the Relentlessly Huge.

While I do have my most comfy bed in the dog cave, the Mango desires to relax his large and needing something soft to lay upon self in the living room where momma and master can often be found in the evening watching endless episodes of Wire in the Blood.

Sadly, the bed that has been designated for myself is woefully lacking; forcing me to curl myself up in a most confining way in order to enjoy its pillowy comforts.

So I was delighted when momma said, "Oh, Mango, I have bought you an orthopedic bed that will cradle your sore joints and it is large enough so that you can stretch out."

"Well," says I, "it's about time, stingy witch. Like I outgrew that other bed maybe, uh, let me see, six years ago! Hello?"

But I came to learn, that applying oneself on target so to speak was no easy task.

Thus, for the first night with my new bed, I seemed to find one part of myself or the other dangling on to the hard floor (although I will say that proximity to the radiating heat unit kept my nards nice and toasty).

To make matters worse, Pea is all like "Oh, Mango, I have no problem with this bed at all. In fact I find it to be quite wonderful."


After that incident, I instructed momma to wash the sheet with boiling water immediately.

And you know what?

I determined that the propensity of the washy sheet to ooze about had made it near impossible for me to tell where my comfy bed ended and the hard floor began.

Removal of said sheet afforded me an unobstructed view and I was able to position myself thusly.

And comfy it is indeed! Ah.....

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

G'Day Uncle Mango, that is the best ever bed. It looks just right for you. Mastiff size, not pea size. We wish you peaceful slumbers and sweet dreams. P.S. Do you know if it is 'toot' proof? No worries (especially for you) and love, Stella and Rory

Maggie and Mitch said...

You look so happy on your new bed, Mango! Keep that nasty Pee off!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock said...

That looks like a most magnificent bed!


Cinnamon said...

Oh, that new bed of yours looks really comfy!! I want one like that (^_^)/

HoundDogMom said...

That looks like a very comfy bed for sure. Our Mom use to use a baby mattress for Tabby she loved it and provided lots of support. Plus Mom would find them on the curb in great shape so they were FREE. Sniffs, The HoundDogs

Gus said...

Classy Bed for a Classy Mango! Ask the Mama if a fitted crib sheet might fit that wonderful bed. That way it could be washed free of labradoink cooties?


Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Mango Man!! You keep that Pea off your comfy bed - you look so regal lying on it.

The Rocky Creek Scotties and Ivy

Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, what a great sleep pad! Totally looks comfy and large enough for your RH self. This way, you can lounge in comfort and style, and still be near the peeps in case they need you for something! BOL
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Nice bed! That looks like a king sized bed! It fits you well. Tell Dexter to go back to his sofa where he belongs!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Well, one does require a particularly comfy spot when watching the lovely Robson. It was frankly a bit remiss of your momma to leave you on that teeny, tiny little bed for so many years; it's clearly pea-sized. I wonder how many wheelie bins the chewed up foam from that exceptionally large bed would fill.

H and Flo

Niamh said...

That looks like an excellent bed Mango! You need your comforts and I think that younger, doofus brothers should never, ever be allowed to rest their cootie filled bodies upon it.

Your friend,

monica said...

Hm - some sort of camouflage attempt on your not being so easily fooled the next time self!?!

Anyhow, I myself actually have a fine square full sized bean bag, all black and simple, but STILL I ever so often find the front half of my entire irresistible body, in the midst of my tribute to relaxing snoring noises in the house, stretched on the tile floor, while the back part lays all soft an comfy on the bed... a mystery, if you ask me..

Sam and Pippen said...

Real men don't need sheets on their beds!

Sam and Pippen

Kari in Vegas said...

Tori needs a new big bed...

Stop on by for a visit

Dozer and Coop said...

That is a bed for the ages. Nice going Mango!

Love, Dozer and Cooper

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

I hope you were able to get all the labrajuice off of your new bed! Stumpy is promoting a grassroots movement in dirtville. You and your new bed would fit right in!

Happy, Waggin' Tails, FUREVER!
Stumpy and me

SissySees said...

I'm rather confused. Our bed has legs, sheets, blanket, comforter and two dozen pillows. Mama calls it her bed, but whatever...

Frankie Furter said...

Sleepy time

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh, Mango....without the sheet you almost match your bed. Bet you're all nice and comfy now....fried nards and all!

BRUTUS said...

Hey there, ol' large pal. Long time, no see, eh? Finally getting a little bloggie time, glad to see you are being properly apportioned in the bed department. Good thing mom lets us sleep with her - didn't realize dog beds could be so complicated!!

Brutus & Carmen (the Frenchies)

rottrover said...

Pawfect! Butt what's that white stuff, dude? Did someone barf? Or de-stuff something? You didn't de-stuff Pea did you??

-Ruby and Bart

rottrover said...

OOHHHHH.... it's a rope toy. Sorry.

ArtemisiaFSS said...

I needs a new bed. Arty Mouse stole mine. ~Fenris

Bouncing Bertie said...

I am wondering that MangoMomma doesn't just buy you a human mattress. King sized of course.
Toodle pip!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Mango! Thank you, thank you for telling everybuddy abouts Rescue Me Week! You are the BEST! I'm sending you oodles of brindle smoochies your way!

And that new bed of yours looks DEE-vine and so much more befitting of your relentless hugeness. You looks very kingly perched atop it.

Wiggles & Wags,

Sue said...

Well of course! We couldn't see the edges of your bed with that floppy sheet all over it. That looks like a real Mango worthy bed.
Morgan, Tsar ad the Porties

Marjie said...

Ah, Mango! An orthopedic crib mattress! Just right for a mastiff! So glad Momma finally got this one figured out. And right next to the heat, too. Good work, Mango Momma!

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

Mango you have a superb bed. Just make sure it stays right next to the radiator during the winter months. You need to keep your relentlessly huge bones nice and warm.

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Great new bed, Mango - and sheesh, what is it with the humans and their sheets - we don't need no stinking sheets. In fact we like our beds best when the Momster takes the covers off to wash them. They are silky and smooth to the touch.

Nice to have such a thoughtful Mom.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Honey the Great Dane said...

My humans got me an expensive orthopaedic bed when I was just a young doggie...and I HATED it. Completely refused to sleep on it, covered or otherwise. My humans got up in the middle of the night to find me sleeping on the hard floor NEXT to it. This was the one time I was more stubborn than my Hsin-Yi...so since then, they've given up. It's my beloved beanbag bed or nothing else.

(oh, and the shelter doggies back in Auckland got to enjoy my bed...although Hsin-Yi did say a lot of HBO words as she donated it!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

But not much fur Da Beastie's Buttsie -

Just sayin'


Anonymous said...

You look great on the bed! Make sure the labradoink stays away!!


Maggie Mae said...

Great new bed Mango! :)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

houndstooth said...

We had one of those beds here for Hawk and Lilac when I was just a pup, and it was fantabulous! Lilac ruined it and Mom says there probably won't be another one for quite a while. I find this very unfortunate since it was like sleeping on a cloud!


P.S. I hear there are people who crochet nad warmers so you don't have to roast your chestnuts on an open radiator! Just sayin'!

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

I get why mom used the sheet but you can visualize much better without it. Hope you got all the Labradork cooties off it! ;-)

Two French Bulldogs said...

we can't wait
Benny & Lily

Anonymous said...

I sure is happy that you got your Mom to figure out how to fix you HUGE bed Mango. I think that is the size of Mom's mattress...BOL

woos, Tessa

KB said...

Oh Mango, you can make anything SO funny! I'm so glad that your nards are warm (although that bordered on TMI).

Be nice to your brother or we're sending the Lab police over to get you.

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

Comfy! Congratulations on your new bed. Awww, the Mango has such a kind heart to allow the Pea to slumber on the new bed. Maybe the next posting will have photos of him snuggled up beside you????


Declan said...

Sorted my man!And it is really important to keep your nards warm..... so I've been told :-/ Deccy x

Au and Target said...

Mango, you have a purrfect bed there. We're rather envious. Mind if we three cats come and cuddle up with you? Don't worry about rolling over onto out tails: we'd claw you nicely to show you the error of your ways. MOL from Malaysia!

Anonymous said...

Oh Mango your very own orthopedic bed! You are king dude :) Glad you figured out where the edges were ;) BOL!

Waggin at ya,

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Ooooh! Labracooties! Eeeeeew!!! Mom got the snow tires put on the Jeep today, and while she was waiting was visited by a labradork who decided to rifle through her purse as he had the (completely warranted) belief that if he looked hard enough he might find some dog treats. A labradork?!? In our Mom's purse?!? And SHE thought it was funny. *sigh*

Hey, we are glad that your stingy witch of a mother FINALLY bought you a bed befitting your Royal and Ancient status! Nice work - remove the sheet and the labradork AND the labracooties are gone! Very cool!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Anonymous said...

Pawsonally I find it necessary to have a number of comfy beds positioned in strategic locations throughout the house. I'm not sure how else one would supervise the humans in all their various tasks adequately, unless provided with a most comfy bed in each room to supervise from.
I am fery glad that your humans have finally come to an understanding of the necessity to provide suitable beds.


The Thuglets said...

Eventually.. a great new bed Mango! Cetainly looks Mango sized.

Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

looking good on the new bed big dude

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Excellent bed! We have two washable covers for each of ours, so there is always a clean cover to put on while the dirty one is being washed. And instead of sheets, we like poly-filed comforters on top of our beds so we can ruck them around and make a comfy nest in winter or a pillow in summer. The twin sized comforters work really well and we commend them to your attention.

Jed & Abby

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violett said...

Hi Mango, I think after so many years have you earned this bed. Mango the Great should get a golden bed!
Always sleep well and dream sweet!
Lots of love

Chris said...

You look mighty comfy on that bed Mango!

Lucille, the Great Dane from Italy said...

Oh Mango,
come on you surely are a hell of a spoilt doggie!!!
You made me laugh a lot!!!
But I do confirm you are absolutely right, the bed needs to be comfy as one desires! So that blanket had to to away because it was not nice enough, not because you could not determine where the bed began!!!!
Love the picture with your beloved behind down the bed!!!!
You are unique... the very and unique Mango Man!!!
Take care and sweet dreams :)
Ciao Lucille

Coco - The Princess said...

Isn't posturepedic on our doggy butts wonderful!? i stole my mommy's posturepedic pillow and i sleep on it every night!

I wanted to let you know about a special book review and contest that I just posted about. I sure would love you to participate and would also hope that you would spread the word!

Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,

Coco The Princess

Just Ramblin' said...

Always a good thing when you kind find the right sleeping spot! Ours is still the marble slab in front of the fireplace (no fire thank you...to much fur for that!)

Moose said...

Ohh man that looks like a very nice bed! My neighbor offered momma two of those mini mattress looking beds (I think that is what you have?) but get this... She said no thanks! WTF? Apparently she said that practically every square foot of the moose lodge is already dedicated to a dog bed AND that I'm always on the couch or her bed so what would I need with another bed. Sheesh! I am still totally jealous. But I am glad you got the pcomfy bed you need! You do look most regal on there!