Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dexter the Wonder Dog - On Stuff Left About

Ever take a quick tour of your estate after your humans have retired for the evening and set your mind to wondering about the array of "stuff" that is laying about?

Take this, for example...

Here is but a small sample of our dog walking gear. Frankly, I think a simple leash is sufficient, but apparently an endless assortment of dorky hats, gloves, mittens, and reflective gear is required.

Now Momma claims that all this stuff is out to dry off after some rather uncomfortably wet walkies, but yours truly knows better. She is just too lazy to put things in their proper places.

Note to momma - if you are out walking me in the rain and suddenly decide that you need to put your hood on - don't! Foolish woman. You should have heard her squeal when all that cold wet water she had collected in said hood rushed down her backsides.

The humans are a simple minded lot who resort to notes left hither and yon to remind them of tasks which need to be performed.

Not sure the intent of this one. I have heard complaints that I am overly enthusiastic during training exercises. Of course it is all too obvious that were the lazy witch to walk me more frequently and with just a tad more vigor, I would be calm as a cucumber.

This one has me confounded. I understand the need for a respirator (spell much?) as the Master is currently engaged in paint spraying at the project house.

However, what is the meaning of "horses?"

How about this one? A reminder to check our P.O. box (which due to her persistent laziness and always "running late" - although if she ever actually "ran" I don't think late would be in the picture - can sometimes go unattended for weeks).

Once a note has been posted long enough to collect dust, it usually gets the ominous "or else" added. Not sure what that threat entails and its effectiveness is questionable.

Look at this! Momma's comfy chair table. Yes, friends, those are holiday cards. Which means they have been there without motion for almost a month. And isn't it about time to retire the rather unsightly Santa mug for the season?

Then of course there is this....

Quick! A photo of my labraself to cleanse your viewing pallet.

Dexter done!

P.S. I am beside my labraself with frustration over my broken dew claw. It seems that the rubber bootie was not up to a rough and tumble chap like me and it broke after just two days. The replacement bootie that the Master purchased was too big. So now I am on a no tennis ball and no daycare regime having demonstrated that vigorous tennis ball action results in, well, blood. Momma has mentioned something about a sock and duct tape. Sigh.


Bouncing Bertie said...

Dexter, should you require some training for your Momma in 'How to Take a Dog for a Walk in the Rain and Avoid Embarrassing Mishaps' , then do send her over here to Scotland and Gail will be pleased to oblige...
Toodle pip!

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Dexter that is hilarious. Mom did the hood and water thing too! Nutty
Benny & Lily
Pee S hope you read our post yesterday

Gus said...

Ahhhh Dexter...all those things (except the large Mango thing) can be found around here too. We don't know what to do about it, but sometimes Teka starts putting stuff under the bed just so they have something to keep their aging minds busy. Works every time, faster when she does it with the keys?


houndstooth said...

The dew claw is still giving you fits, eh? Hopefully it will toughen up soon and quit bleeding all over the place. Humans are so nutty about a little blood!

Dex, have you thought about calling a maid service while your humans are gone, leaving you to entertain yourself since said dew claw is keeping you from doggie day care? I mean, it sounds like problem solved to me!


The Thuglets said...

Dexter sorry to hear about the dew claw. Hope youa re all soon mended!
Yep the hoomans around here leave everything everywhere! Always looking for keys and phones! lol

Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

All that walking stuff, you sure your Moma isn't in training for Everest?
We hope your dew claw heals quickly, it sounds rather painful.

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

Bassetmomma said...

I think you need to help your Momma out with some of these chores so she can get ahead! LOL!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I can't help you... I think ALL Peeps are pretty much Alike. Sheesh

Now I understand WHY my mom had My Dew Claws.. and recently Ernie's removed. Who Knew?????

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Dexter, we have the same thing going on here. Those Christmas cards have been sitting on the kitchen counter forever. Today the Momster decided to clean the counters and said she was putting them away. Ha - we saw her just move them to another pile in the dining room. And notes - there are lists everywhere. They get so crumpled and old looking that they get rewritten over and over with the same items on them. Just DO it, Mom and move on.

Those dew claws are very annoying and painful when they break. Hope yours is better soon.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Koobuss said...

Hi Dexter,

Sorry you are having trouble with your dew claws. Hope you get them straightened out soon. I have them, too, and I really don't like them.

Love the story about your mom and her jacket hoody. That could only happen to humans. Hehe..

As for everything else, sounds like your house is pretty normal to me. Frightening, isn't it.

Love and Lots of Koobuss Kisses,

Sue said...

I can sympathize, Dexter. I tore both my dew claws a few years ago and had to wear boots. Then MOm took me to the vet's office and , Gasp, they removed my dew toes. OUCH! But now I can run and slide and climb and no pain.
Samba Portie

The Boston Lady said...

Oh Dexter, I am so glad I finally checked back in with you. You made me laugh out loud! Just so you are aware: we humans are dolts and I have yellow papers throughout my house to tell me what I should/need to be doing every day. My dogs are too short to see them and thus cannot judge me! Ann

scotsmad said...

Bummer about the dew claw.

We can't even get HER out for a walk in the rain....SHE says that it's in our contract!

SHE leaves notes around and then can't decipher them...BOL!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Pippa said...

Um, I think Misery read this post but has mostly been swooning over your beautiful black Dexterish self.

Handsome pup or something she says. Nothing to do with the fact you look significantly like one of her first pups. (A black lab ..well less barked)


The Army of Four said...

Duck tape? Zim has some friends at one of our oceans who are ducks and I've never noticed them packing tape. Huh? What?

Never mind. Hope your dew claw feels better.

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Hey, Dexter, have you got spy cam in our house? Oh its your house. Well things look pretty much the same (except for the winter gear which if mum was wearing that she would be totally coo coo in the head).

Our mum just moves piles of stuff from one room to another and then says she has tidied up.

Sorry about your nail. Sounds like a pain in the butt, er foot. Hope it heals up soon buddy.

Bet you had a laugh when your mum squealed hehehe. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

You're getting a HORSE?! That is fantastic! Do you think the Mango will learn to ride it? Keep the flashy beast close for documentation; you could win lots of green papers on that AFV show if you got 'mastiff rides horse' [or v.v.] on video. The Mango Master couldn't have been talking about something dull like saw horses, could he?

So sorry about your dew claw. Could be worse; you could be all bandaged and back in the Cone again.

Jed & Abby

Moose Dog said...

Momma leaves stuff out for so long that she can't even remember where it goes if she tried to put it away. When she does put it away she forgets and buys another one of whatever it was. I think we are gonna be on an episode of hoarders soon.
Sorry bout the dew claw owie!
P.s. momma BOL at the water in the hood thing. At least ur mom will walk u in the rain. Momma is afraid she will melt I guess.

Declan said...

Humans are all barmy, I've decided! Deccy x

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

His your Mom related to our Mom?
She gots notes every where. Our computer desk is just one big mass of paper.

Loved this post. Weenie almost laughed his head off about the water going down your Mom's backside.


Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

Poor Labradude...the things you have to endure ! We too have stuff like that left laying around....but it is out DAD that does it and Mom just complains about always having to pick up after him. Many many years ago and many many furbabies ago...Mom had a doggie that tore a dew claw too and frightened the life out of her. Since then she has had no dew claws law enforced is the first thing she asks a breeder or the first thing she does when taking a new furbaby to the vet - OFF WITH THE DEW CLAWS - she demands.

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

sorry, can't stay for long--gotta go take down the christmas tree. love guinness

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Mom HATES hoods - she'd rather wear a ski coat, neck gaiter and hat than a hood. (Dad thinks she's crazy, BTW.) Mom scatters all of her dog walking stuff on our (never used) kitchen table, as well as our 'outdoor' stuff - like the frisbees, the squeaky ball, and multiple towels for "drying off the mutts". Not sure who the mutts are, but I'd hate to be them!

Anyway, we're might curious about the horses note - are you getting a pony for a belated birthday present? Mom leaves notes to herself, too. She SAYS it's because she gets up SO EARLY that if she doesn't leave herself a note, she'll forget. So far, there have been no 'or else' additions, although I might add that to the 'buy more sweet potato treats' note. Heehee.

Silly humans. About your dew claw - seriously, have your Mom look into - they make some really cool booties and they fit REALLY well. And then the DOH will have NO excuse for not taking you on your well-deserved walkies!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

PeeEss: Mom just took down our Christmas tree last weekend! She said she likes the lights. I say she's lazy!

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Gee Dex, this post makes me very happy that Mabel has no interest in my camera! Whew!

Sorry about your dew claw!!

Carrie and Waffle said...

Ah Dex been there with the dew claw too. the peeps finally wrapped it in gauze and then in the sticky tape the use to wrap horsey paws in. since you are getting one it would be a good idea to stock up on that stuff,

ps that photo of you is very handsome.

Oskar said...

I think it's not you who needs the training classes!

Nubbin wiggles,

Anonymous said...

Hi Dexter, it's nice to meet you. You are right about the variety of stuff mommies leave around.....I don't get it. I love the picture of Black Dog in Snow, so pretty!


Umm I think woo should replace those sticky notes with your own reminders to momma...
- don't think about it, just walkies me
- bacon or else
- birthday mugs not santa
- find walkies protocol for momma.
- no mango allowed

just saying

Anonymous said...

"bacon or else!" now THAT'S what Juno's talkin' about...

Well thank dog you cleansed our viewing pallet with those labrapaws... OMD, i want to reach thru the screen and just EAT them. Yum! do they smell like freetos?

tula said...

mango left some stickies up too:

bones fur me. not fur pea
let him eat lettuce!
purple pillow all fur me.. stay off pea!
minster fur mango.. boring bloggie fur pea.

signed- momma's favorite.

just letting ya know,

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay santa shoor luks happy for a guy with a hole ware his brainz shud be!!! altho it is a pritty akyoorat depikshun of him ha ha ha ha ummmm santa duznt reed yore blog comments rite??? ok bye

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

Hey, looks like our house.

Dexter I hope your owie foot gets better real soon so you can chase snowballs.


KB said...

Lots of chuckles tonight! The hood story - hee hee! And the notes!!!! With "or else" added. I am still laughing.

We've been known to leave out Christmas cards for almost a full year :)

Have you tried RuffWear boots? You can buy one at a time on their website...

Finally, RH has reportedly been sleeping in the middle of our street. I am not kidding. Emails have been pinging around our neighborhood about the brindle HUGE mastiff sleeping in the middle of the road. RH - just walk a quarter mile to the east and you can visit K and R!

chicamom85 said...

Dexter, I hope there is a workable solution to your bootie problem and I also hope your booboo heals quickly. Mango looks really sweet sleeping in his bed and of course you just look handsome on the couch as always.

licks and sniffs Sasha

Marjie said...

Dear Dexter, your Momma is on to something here. We use socks for medicinal purposes all the time: to stop scratching of poison ivy, to keep people from picking at stitches and whatnot, and to protect broken fingernails or dewclaws. And she should always use a good liberal helping of duct tape so the sock stays where it belongs. Glad to see in your next post that you're getting some activities.

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...


Too bad you didn't get to video tape the Momma getting all that cold wet water down her backside on video. I can just picture it now - priceless!

Chester said...

It's posts like this that make me wonder how anythin' could take precedence over readin' what Dexter is doin' and seein'. I seriously understand your viewpoint so much better than that brindled lump's known as Mango.

You're bein' totally ripped off for not gettin' to be full-time writer on this blog. I think you should go on strike.

Woofs and lumpy slobbers,
Chester ;0=)