My friends, it is with great disappointment that I am about to tell you of a horrific injustice, a terrible deception, a tale of unbelievable neglect.
For, it is, indeed my fourth birthday today. But, sadly for yours truly, it is a day marked by a distinct absence of Dexter focused activities or celebrations.
To make matters worse, I was able to intercept this false post that momma created weeks ago in an attempt to fool my loyal readers into thinking that she actually showered me with love and affection on this, my special day.
Fortunately, with her mentals consumed by stupid Mango Minster, I was able to annotate said post to present you with the true condition of my sorry existence.
I have left momma's pathetic blue italicized words as a warning to my fellow doggie bloggers that this could happen to you, too.
Today is Dexter's birthday and that means it is all about HIM! That's right.
Happy four years old to you, my little labradude!
We started the day with a nice long walk to the village green.
Any guesses as to when that photo was actually taken? Try LAST YEAR! I am not dignifying her by actually looking at the flashy. I refuse to be part of her charade. And while a stroll down to the village green is pleasant enough, the 1.5 mile round trip hardly qualifies as long in my book.
When we got home, a new stuffie, just for Dexter!
She did NOT buy that stuffie for me. It was a gift from daycare. A gift with some holiday NOT my birthday in mind. Now, I admit to being flattered when I received my modest package, but my feelings were crushed when I saw that the same packages were being handed out with abandon to all of the daycare doggies, even that pack of rough trade golden thugs.
Oh, and the reason that I am actually enjoying stuffed Santa? Well, on the day these pictures were taken, the Relentlessly Cry Baby Momma's Dog was at the beauty parlor. You can be certain that once Mr. Fun Police returned home it was "goodbye Dexter's toy."
And make no mistake, momma did NOT stay home with her "favorite" dog, nor did she even favor me with a fun filled day with my daycare pals. No, once again I was forced to provide my own entertainment, comprised mainly of trying to find a water bowl with slobber free water and attempting to stake out the premium sun baking spots.
Followed by a nice chewie.
I was able to take advantage of the Torpid Beast's absence (two weeks ago) to enjoy a chewie on his slobbery bed. IN YOUR FACE! Are you with me? But the chewie actually came from a holiday gift bag brought over by Norwood's mom.
And some total funballs action, complete with tasty noms, just for Dexter!
Once again, a gift from Norwood's mom and one that I found myself highly suspicious of. Is the photo artwork intended to convey that it is full of treats tailored to labradogs or perhaps to indicate that they are made from labradogs?
Well, I never did find out as the contents were emptied into Mr. Underwater Walker during his physical therapies.
Action? Well, if you call having to do a sit / stay while other absurdly large dogs bounce around performing "tricks" then I suppose that would qualify.
All in all a wonderful day for the best little labradog in the whole world!
LIES! ALL LIES!
And there you have it. Just another day in the life of being designated as "the little back up dog."
P.S. Momma says I need an attitude adjustment. I'm just calling it like I see it, that's all.