First of all, can you believe momma actually made me take down the header of my large and handsome self all rolling and roaching in the grass and replace it with a dorky photo of me sitting there next to Pea? COME ON!
It isn't even a good photo. I have NO FACE! WTF? And Pea looks like a black blob (aw who cares how he looks anyway). But what about ME and my fans? They want to see myself. Sheesh!
But I digress...
So there I was enjoying a nice sun bake when stupid Pea wakes up and goes into his "intruder alert" routine. All barking and yelling and trying to puff up his little body. As if!
And I'm like "Shut up, labradoink! Can't you see I'm taking a meditation?"
And he's all like "MANGO! GET UP! INTRUDER! BAD! PROTECT THE ESTATE!"
Yuh, so it's not like I'm going to get any more sleep, might as well get up and see what the little pest is on about.
I peer over the fence and you know what I saw at the end of the driveway?
WTF? Seriously? There is totally a HORSE in our driveway! Are you seeing this?
And Momma was out there too! Holy crap! That horse was gonna kill her for sure. So now I'm yelling "Momma! Watch out! That horse will kill you!"
It's even wearing a horsie mental leader. I bet it just came right from ruffian school.
But she was all shouting at me to simmer down because it is just our new neighbor. Huh?
Now, I have seem some rather interesting poop on my walkies, but I always assumed that it fell off one of the landscaper trucks I see zooming up and down the street all the time. Nope. Apparently we have official poop making horses right down the street!
You know what else? Momma said this horse is just a baby.
What what what? Look at the size of those feet! That's a baby?
Nine months old? As if!
So that's our new neighbor. Sheesh! Just when I thought it was safe to go walkies again now I have to watch out for gigantic mutant mastiff eating "baby" horses.
Give me strength!
Mango Man! Oh yeah!