Saturday, March 17, 2012

Stuffie Wars

Some of you might be thinking "Hey, Mango! We are totally missing your remarkably erudite posts and comments." To which I say, "Sorry, pals, but the work place has been rendering momma's mentals so depleted that it is all she can do to engage in a fun activity with my large and always up for learning tricks self before she collapses into a heap watching endless episodes of that dumb Glee show." As if! Hope those kids graduate soon.

So I was totally outside doing my morning ablutions and I realized that my snowman stuffie was feeling tired of being in the weather and looking a bit sorry.

I immediately brought him inside, but let me tell you, it was not without protest from momma. She was all like "Oh, Mango, that stuffie is gross! It has been outside too long. I don't want that in the house." And Pea was seriously stalking me to try and put my beloved snowmanperson in between his leathery lips.

Momma was all "Come on, Mango, let's go back outside with that toy, OK?"
I am "No way, foolish human, this stuffie is staying in with the Mango."

But you know what? No sooner had I put my disturbingly large head down to rest but wouldn't you know that evil human tossed my stuffie onto the deck and that little black devil was out there like a shot getting his labracooties on it.

And why oh why does momma never notice those glowing evil eyes? Clearly he is not right in the head.

With great effort, I hauled my large and not keen to get up and down self outside, whereupon which I attempted to behave in an innocent "no, momma, I promise I will never bring the snowmanperson inside again" manner.

When she was distracted by the idiot lab, quick as a wink, I was back in and order was restored.

However, I think I am going to have to sleep standing up from now on, like Chrome, because should the evil witch try to snatch my stuffie away again, I can ill afford the curious delay between the decision to assume an upright position and actually finding myself on all fours.

It is going to be a long day.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. You know what else? I totally rolled down the stairs the other day. Yup, for sure. I was headed down like a freight train and that stupid PeeWee jumped in front of me and tangled my leggies. Luckily, I was able to turn and roll. For real. Like I was on my front on one step and then on my back on the next and then plop onto the patio. Except for a little scrape on my snooter, no worse for my ordeal, but not my idea of fun.


harrispen said...

Sometimes we humans just like to keep the home at a certain level of cleanliness. I can't believe what Dex did to you by rolling you down the stairs. Make sure you let him know that is not allowed again!


Sam said...

Monty's stuffies have to be washed weekly - he gets them so gross outside and wants to bring them all in!


Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I have noticed that these peep wimmen only See what the WANT to see.

I think that snowman (SHIVER) looks PERFECT.

Macintosh Mitch said...

It doesn't sound like you're getting much respect over there at the Mango Estate! You need to meditate and come up with some decent changes, Mango!

Love ya lots,

Niamh said...

Gross stuffies are the best! Do not let your momma drown your snowmanperson in the washing machine. Barbara has been threatening to do that with some of ours.

Your friends,
Niamh and Ambrose

chicamom85 said...

Mango, our stuffies belong to us and as such, only we decide where they belong. Obviously your Mom is overworked and not thinking clearly. I am sorry about your fall and totally glad you are not hurt, but picturing it in my head, made me snicker, just the slightest...ok quite a bit actually. You need to get back at him though, the next time he is sleeping in the sun on the deck, just roll him over the side.

Loveys Sasha

Casey said...

Maybe you could try sleeping with it under your head? That way no one can get at it while you're taking a well-deserved snooze.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Mango, maybe you can deposit that snowman in front of the big box that washes stuff and then Momma would let you keep him inside.

You always manage to make us laugh even when it involves something that could have hurt you badly - so glad the stair tumble had a happy ending/landing.

Happy St. Paddy's Day from all of us!

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning of the O'OP Pack

K9 Katastrophie said...

Heehee Mango you are so funny! But you shouldn't call your momma a witch!


Two French Bulldogs said...

I don't thinkyou have a choice Mango to sleep standing up....there is a predator in the house
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Benny & Lily

scotsmad said...

Awww, here's a 'get better' kiss for your snooter.

Maybe you'd better find a REALLY good hiding place for your snowman. He's in danger.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, I don't get it! If she's upset it was outside where it got all icky, wouldn't she glad you brought it in where it can stay nice and clean?!? I'm missing something. I think you were exactly right. BOL. Glad your tumble wasn't any worse. Did you see stars?
Grr and O'Woof,
Sarge, COP

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

RH, we are most alarmed at your tumble down the stairs. You could have broken or strained something really important. Are you sure your hip wasn't damaged? Perhaps you need to ask Mango Momma to hold the Pee by his necklace while you make your sedate way up and down the stairs; then she can let him loose to zoom up and down. Abby thinks you should sue the Pea for assault and battery, malicious infliction of pain and suffering, mental distress caused by the A&B, and a bunch of other stuff. You should own every bed and stuffie in the house by the time you're finished.

You received some good advice above; get the snowman stuffie washed [you know how momma's love clean], sleep with it under your large and not easily shifted person [or even halfway clamped in your large and imposing jaws], or maybe just get a new snowman stuffie [all that winter themed stuff should be on sale now]. If it gets really bad, stick the snowman stuffie under Mango Momma's pillow for safety while you catch up on your meditations. Good luck!

Jed & Abby

Sue said...

Why can't humans make up their confused minds? It's always "No no don't take the toy outside". Then we do a good deed and bring in a toy that someone else sneaked past her at the door and it's No no, don't bring that thing in here."
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

Your snowman looks fine to me. Gosh, that's not even close to dirty yet.

Sorry, about the steps. I'm glad you bounced back ;) without any injuries.



Hey Mango,
Don't go Roly-poly on us, Dude! Get the RH to put you in cotton wool.

Mr Koda MD said...

Roly Poly indeed! Did render a chuckle from this side of the fence!

Snowman stuffie is well disguised within your more than roomy jowls! Sneaking him back indoors should be easy as pie. Om nom nom

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Uncle Mango, stand your ground buddy. Snowman stuffie is yours!! Sorry about the freight train episode too. Take care Uncle Mango. We love ya and don't want to hear of any injuries. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Gus said...

We heard about the stairs incident, but are totally surprised that the Momma is not more understanding about the snowman!

gussie n teka

The Army of Four said...

Maybe your mom would let you have a REAL snowman in the house instead of a stuffy one. You should ask her. Really.
Play bows,

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Mabel Lou takes her stuffies outside too! I try and patrol the yard to get them in before they get too gross. Tell your mom, they can go in the washing machine and dryer!

The Thuglets said...

Mango we suggest you stick yer snoman underneath you when sleeping!
Also no more practising stair rolly pollies..not a great idea.
Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Way to go Mango! Showing who is boss! The Snowman is better off inside the house anyway -- it's been such a warm winter for us so far, the snowman will probably melt faster outside anyway! Oh, and you made your Roll down the stairs sound so acrobatic! Didn't know you had it in you. Once Mommy fell down a flight of stairs when she was young. Believe me, there was no grace to that tumble of hers. Her brother purposely stepped on the back of her jeans that had wide bottoms, and there she went flying down head first. She wasn't hurt -- thank goodness! I guess you can't trust brothers when it comes to going down stairs. Lessons learned the hard way!

Moose Dog said...

I try to take my stuffies outside all the time but momma brings them in saying they are gross and then they get put in the washer.... I don't know why she doesn't just let me leave them outside in the first place. I guess she likes to micromanage or something.
Totally terrifying about your tumble. Thank goodness you are ok!!!