Some of you might be thinking "Hey, Mango! We are totally missing your remarkably erudite posts and comments." To which I say, "Sorry, pals, but the work place has been rendering momma's mentals so depleted that it is all she can do to engage in a fun activity with my large and always up for learning tricks self before she collapses into a heap watching endless episodes of that dumb Glee show." As if! Hope those kids graduate soon.
So I was totally outside doing my morning ablutions and I realized that my snowman stuffie was feeling tired of being in the weather and looking a bit sorry.
I immediately brought him inside, but let me tell you, it was not without protest from momma. She was all like "Oh, Mango, that stuffie is gross! It has been outside too long. I don't want that in the house." And Pea was seriously stalking me to try and put my beloved snowmanperson in between his leathery lips.
Momma was all "Come on, Mango, let's go back outside with that toy, OK?"
I am "No way, foolish human, this stuffie is staying in with the Mango."
But you know what? No sooner had I put my disturbingly large head down to rest but wouldn't you know that evil human tossed my stuffie onto the deck and that little black devil was out there like a shot getting his labracooties on it.
And why oh why does momma never notice those glowing evil eyes? Clearly he is not right in the head.
With great effort, I hauled my large and not keen to get up and down self outside, whereupon which I attempted to behave in an innocent "no, momma, I promise I will never bring the snowmanperson inside again" manner.
When she was distracted by the idiot lab, quick as a wink, I was back in and order was restored.
However, I think I am going to have to sleep standing up from now on, like Chrome, because should the evil witch try to snatch my stuffie away again, I can ill afford the curious delay between the decision to assume an upright position and actually finding myself on all fours.
It is going to be a long day.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!
P.S. You know what else? I totally rolled down the stairs the other day. Yup, for sure. I was headed down like a freight train and that stupid PeeWee jumped in front of me and tangled my leggies. Luckily, I was able to turn and roll. For real. Like I was on my front on one step and then on my back on the next and then plop onto the patio. Except for a little scrape on my snooter, no worse for my ordeal, but not my idea of fun.