Some of the images in this post might be disturbing to more sensitive readers.
Me: You aren't going to post that photo you took of me, are you?
Evil Witch: You mean this one?
Me: I TOLD you not to post that! I look totally dorked out.
Evil Witch: Oh, Mango, I think you look adorable.
Me: ARG! My friends will think I've been sampling the pheno barbie doll whilst unsupervised.
Evil Witch: OK, well, um, is it OK to post this photo of you and Pea doing synchronized potty action? How cute is that?
Me: NO NO NO! What is WRONG with you? My fans are going to think I pee like a girl.
Evil Witch: Well, you do usually pee like a girl, but I have this one of you doing a kind of token leg lift.
Me: WTF is wrong with you? How many pictures do you have of me doing my business? That is so messed up.
Evil Witch: Um, ya think so?
Me: Yes, I do. I seriously think that you need some sort of mentals therapies. My readers' eyes!
Evil Witch: Well, you know, Mango, some of your readers don't appreciate that you seem to always have your lipstick out.
Me: I don't see a problem.
Evil Witch: As long as we are skating along the edge of tastefulness, can I show how you like to line up your poops facing north?
Me: My poops have faces? Freak me out!