Monday, April 16, 2012

WTF Wednesday - Special Monday Edition

URGENT! Faux Mango products from Mexico!

That's right! Alert reader (and fellow WTF-uped blogger), Miss Puddles sent me an alarming discovery.

Behold the offending bag.

I'm not certain that photo will bigify because, well, mom's an IDIOT! But I will tell you that one of the "flavors" is "Mango Passion Fruit Squeeze!"

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh my Mango-ness!

Lookit here. These are the actual consumable goods. I think that totally looks like something that might be part of me. Yuh, for sure, because I have been photocopied lots of times, you know and I just KNOW that the sly vet must have seen these things inside of me.

Do you think sweet Lorenza is actually part of the illicit Mango products trafficking? After all, she does live in Mexico. Uh oh. Maybe she is hiding Mango products under the ruffles of those fancy dresses she wears.

I wanted momma to post a photo of my large and handsome self to let you know I am still OK even though I am apparently depleted of some of my precious bodily juices, but she was all "Oh, Mango, I don't have any recent photos that your friends haven't already seen."

Um, hello? Got enough negatives in that sentence?

So here is one of just my foot that she had laying around in the flashy.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


3 doxies said...

Seeeeeees, I tolded you dis was a very alarmin' situaation! I mean can you just imagine all your Mango offsprinys? Oh crap, I thinks I just skeered myself.

Your foot is biggers than my whole body...WTF?

PS: Apparently these new fancy pants machines don't has dat big thing stickin' out...okays dat just sounded bad.

houndstooth said...

They stole drops of Mango?! Yegads! What is the world coming to? I can't believe they're sucking this stuff out of you and you don't even know!


Sarge said...

Hey Mango!
Wow, that's so scary! Do you think some evil peep is out there harvesting pooch parts?!? Well, at least we know your paw is okay, but I'm still concerned.
BTW: I bet they taste good! BOL
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Team Beaglebratz said...

WTF????????? We shall haf tu make shure our mom iz aware of this cux sumtimez she haz that kind of candy - of course she duzn't share with us so now we r ok with that since there may-b Mango-partz involved.
Shiloh'n Shasta

PeeS - we wunder if the Mango-mom takez this serious?

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Mango Passionfruit? *clunk* (That was Abby swooning.) Dude, even I am a bit light-headed at the thought of Mango Passionfruit squeezes! That said, methinks you just like showing off your hairy nards. I mean, you are Da Bomb (or Da Squeeze, as the case may be) and yet you have to tempt us with pictures of ACTUAL Mango Passionfruits. And since this comment is making less and less sense, I think I'm going to quit while I'm ahead!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

PeeEss: Mom thought the '29 in hexadecimal' comment was Very Funny - and clearly quite nerdy. I worry about the sanity of our respective Mommas.

The Army of Four said...

I'm not sure, but you might have just cured my mom of her obsession with jelly beans. Ha woo.

Jen said...

Wow, they really can market anything, can't they?

The Boston Lady said...

Mango, I have been quite alarmed by all the products I've been noticing that seem to contain parts of you. Even MacDonald's was selling Mango stuff. Don't give it all away, please! Ann TBL

Corbin said...

Maybe the come at night and steal your poops and wait for them to ripen? Maybe that's what the people are consuming as Mango edibles?

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OH NO... Sweet Lorenza would NEVER be a pawt of THAT.

Hey.. those yellow speckled thingys might be MANGO seeds. I wonder if I planted some.. would they be FRUITFUL and Mulitply and then there would be like 87 of YOU runnin all over my hill? THAT would be really FUN.
they could be Mango EGGS. Pawhaps you could get Khyra to slip a few under those P.F.'s of hers and then they would hatch and you could learn to FLY.. without using your precious GAS to propel your delicate self about the world.

Jake of Florida said...

We've gotten a bit blase because mango stuff is everywhere here in Flori-duh. Why it even grows on trees.

But this international invasion of your privacy, aka private parts, is totally outrageous and needs to be stopped before it spreads any further.

We'll be on the lookout and do whatever we can to stop this illicit trafficking We're on your side,dude,

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

jen said...

LMAO! I think those little jelly beans are a bit smaller than your nads Mango:)))

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Oh poor Mango... How alarming indeed... they must take it while you are sleeping!!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

How awful, Mango!!! Mom is chuckling here and saying she is glad she isn't a huge fan of jelly beans anyway. Now about Lorenza, we don't think she could possible do anything like that. Must be due to some of those dogs that bark at her all the time on her walks. They don't want her to know what is going on there.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Lorenza said...

C'mon Mango!
I swear I have nothing to do with that!
You know me, right?
I had a good laugh reading about it!
Kisses and hugs

K9 Katastrophie said...

Heehee! It is Lorenza! Your paw is mighty big!


Two French Bulldogs said...

You better call Sarge to investigate
Benny & Lily

Faith Shen said...

Mango you looks handsome on your photos, I want to eat Mango fruit squeeze.

Dog Shock Collar | Puppy & Human Bond

KB said...

YOu need a bodyguard at all times to protect your Mango manliness.

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Of course sweet Lorenza is totally innocent and above reproach! However, we share the concern that your Mangoness is being exploited by persons unknown and you're not even getting a percentage of the enormous profits. Abby is busy trying to figure out who we can sue on your behalf.

Jed & Abby

chicamom85 said...

Mango I am typing this as my Mommy is puking right now. She has been eating those jelly beans for the past week or so and the yellow ones are(were)her favorites. She is very distressed cause she has been drooling quite a bit and has the urge to lick her priv(well I don't need to go any further with that). I do hope this is all a misunderstanding. I mean really how much could you produce. These jelly beans must be everywhere. Do you think there are Mango clones or mini Mangos out there. This is mind boggling. The good news is Mommy is trying to lose weight so at least jelly beans will be off her treat list.

Loveys Sasha

scotsmad said...

Ooooooo, careful Mango, you don't want your passion fruits squeezed.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Bassetmomma said...

Now that's just scary! Stealing parts of your precious self!

Ronnii, Uji, Izzy + Ziggy said...

OMD OMD OMD !!!! First offs wee knows fur certain sure dats Lorenza woods neva bee parts ovs such a heinous scheme as to steal preshus Mango essences. Seconds Wee finks wee needs to go boycotts da factory untils wee gets answer as to where dem is gettings dis speshul Mango juices froms so wee can deels wivs da evil deviants. Wots do yoo finks ? Mango's essenshul Mangoness must bee preserveds at all costs .

Uji, Izzy n Ziggy
xxx xxx xxx

monica said...

and WHAT a foot!!

Anonymous said...

K, I was like thinkin those looked pretty yummy till I saw that Mango-ness photo of your nards. :O No worries mate, I shall not partake in savoring your essences ;P

Waggin at ya,

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Howdy Uncle Mango, we don't think Miss Lorenza would ever have anything to do with that business. Those things look kinda like what I left behind at the Vets a while back and looking at your nardy photo I don't think you have anything to worry about. It must be an imitation sort of mango.
No worries, and slobber, Rory.

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Thanks for the Mango passion fruit warning! No way is Mommy buying that stuff!

Sweet William The Scot said...

Well I am just thinking those are cheap rip off neuticals. The real neuticals for your size goes for $249. Somethings got to get the juices following WTF!
Sweet William The Scot

Reuben said...

That looks pretty suspicious there Mango. Probably you should turn over the jelly beans - I mean, suspicious substance - to me, for further testings, in my mouth.

Oskar said...

Mango my mom person is giving away Mango shampoo over at Pet Blogs United. It doesn't smell the way that I imagined you would smell. I didn't know that you smelled so fruity!

I'm sorry if they stole your juices to make the shampoo.

Nubbin wiggles,

Kasha said...

You are hilarious! Those candies look pretty tasty actually. I am not sure which one was named incorrectly! Have a great day!

Keith Andrea said...

., oh poor Mango., that's really alarming.,You can call Sargent to

Dog Fence for Any size yard.
Pet Solutions

bichonpawz said...

Wow Mango! You sure don't mind showing off your junk do you???? BOL!!
xoxo Chloe and LadyBug

Chester said...

Mom sees Mango products quite often in her never-endin' quest to keep foodables in the house and always thinks of the Relentlessly Huge one. I'll lend her my iPawd so she can snap a pic next time she sees one.

Until then, hang onto your fruit dood!

Woofs and never-endin' slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Hey Mango. Wanted to let you know Mommy was helping her niece study for a science test. One of the words she was trying to remember the definition for was "Trade Winds" the movement of air towards the equator from the NorthEast..... blah blah blah. The key word we were trying to remember in the definition was "NorthEast". All the different words we were studying were all these directions. One was from east to west, one was from west to east.... It was so confusing. So, to remember "Tradewinds" are from the Northeast, Mommy's niece said Mango lives in the NorthEast - she loved your ballet video from Honey's Dance contest last year. Anyway, Mommy said, yes Mango lives in the NE, and apparantly there are lots of Mango products out there. So, lets just say Mango in the "NorthEast" is wanting to "trade" a Mango product with us. (Not that we would want a Mango product ...) Anyway the science test was multiple choice -- and once she saw the answer with the word "Northeast" in it she knew that was the Mango Trading word. Thanks for helping Mommy's niece get a 100% on her test!!!!

Posie said...

Heeheeheehee yoo iz an akchull legind!! Heehee dis posht mayde me n mammie laff soooo mutch heehee pleased too meet yoo! Love posie dorg xxox