Wednesday, June 6, 2012

WTF Wednesday - Yankee Man Candles


Just in time for Father's day, the chemists at Yankee Candle have come out with a new line of candles called (I kid you not)...




Seriously? The scents include 2x4 "The warm, unmistakable scent of planed wood and sawdust."

There is also First Down which is a "combination of orange, patchouli, vetiver and leather as exciting as game day."

Are they for real? And WTF is vetiver anyway? 

Well, I, Mango, figured if the idiot humans are foolish enough to shell out dollars for this nonsense, then surely I can come up with a few scents of my own to entice all those crazy dog humans out there to send some of that mullah my way.

Here, for the first time ever, I present:



The Yankee Candle Mango Collection







Wet Dog
A fragrant reminder of a fresh April shower.











Puppy Breath
SQUEEEE!








And of course, my personal favorite...








 MangoToot
The tangy sweetness of rotting flesh with a fetid hint of broccoli. 






Mango Man! Oh yeah!

42 comments:

Bouncing Bertie said...

Mango, I'm afraid that that, whatever the smell, you'll have to travel long and hard to find a male who associates the word 'candle' with 'desirable present'...

Toodle pip and good luck - you'll need it - with the new product line!
Bertie.

PS No need for any help in producing eau de wet dog in Gail's study just at the moment, after yet another rain sodden morning walk.

IRIS E DONA said...

hehehe ! you make me laugh !great ideia !
Kisses
Iris

Peruby said...

That is funny!

H and Flo said...

Hee hee. I can think of a few blokes who might prefer to be surrounded by the heady aroma of Eau de Mango Toot than patchouli. Is it just me or do at least three of those candles look more like a dip?

Niamh said...

We would also suggest the lovely aroma of" dog who has just rolled in something nasty". We think that would be a big seller.

We feel we must tell you the shocking news that Barbara now has body butter from Burt's Bees that is made from the Mango and oranges. The nerve of her.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

3 doxies said...

What bout da expressed butt aroma...my mum loves it...NOT!
Howevers, I thinks yu is on to makin' a fortune with your new line of candle scents. Don't lets no one discourage you.

Puddles

Gus said...

Oooohhh, you can come close to "the expressed butt aroma" using the imported Vietnamese fish sauce that the muzzer loves!

We would totally order the puppy breath one.

Also, consider "Frito Feet" which might be another easy one.

gussie

Asta said...

Mango
Up till now, I didn't think thewe was a candle that Men would get excitewed about, but yoow speshull collection will suwely make them want to put this on top of theiw list od desiwed pwessies. My favowite would be the fiwst two, but manly men pwobly woold love the last one best
Hope you make a gweat success of this new ventoowe
Smoochie kisses
Asta

Amber DaWeenie said...

OMD.....what a mess! Mom just spit her tea all over da puter monitor! As fur me....me's on da way to da store to get some of dat TOOT fragrance right away befores dey sell out! Maybe Lucy should consider addin dis one to her AVON line!

jen said...

Ha-ha! Finally they bottled up the Mango Toot!

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

That last one should carry a Government health warning! Strike a match and the house would probably ignite!

MOlly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

That last one should carry a Government health warning! Strike a match and the house would probably ignite!

MOlly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

Casey said...

If you could make Puppy Breath into a candle, you would sell a bajillion of them!

rottrover said...

OMD Mango!! The publicist is ROLLING on the floor. This has got to be one of the funniest posts effur. THANK YOU for the mid-week giggle!!

-Bart and Ruby

Sammie and Avalon said...

Yankee Man Candles!!! Are you kidding? Wow. In that case, we are betting that the Mango line will sell like hot cakes!
Hugs xxxx,
Sammie and Avalon

Sam and Pippen said...

Dude! We'd like to order a couple of the MangoToot candles... then when mom is complaining about our smelly selves we could just light the candle and say 'Mango did it!'

Sam and Pippen

harrispen said...

Sam & Pippen just stole my line. I was going to say that the Mango Toot candle would be great for anyone that doesn't want to admit it was their own toot stinking up the joint.

Cindy

Sue said...

Our silly Mom bought a puppy breath candle a few years ago to give our vet. We didn't think it really smelled that good.
Morgan and the Porties

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

I do believe you forgot one big dude - What about the belly burp candle? Sour rotten bones smells being burped up out of a gassy tummy - what could be better?

Mom says if it was 5 week old puppy breath smell - she would buy a crate of them :) What gives with Mom's and that baby puppy breath?

jodistone said...

Seriously, wtf is vetiver? Let's see how well Yankee Candle does with this line. :-)

As for the dog candles I say, sign me up for the puppy breath candle!

And you forgot one, a personal favorite of Delilah's "I ate some poop in the yard and now I'll burp in your face."

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I'll "PASS" on the Mango Toots... butt send me 3 Puppy Breath.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

OMD, too funny. The MOmster loves to burn scented candles but the Dadster is allergic to all those smells. Wonder what he would think of those new Man Candles.

We think your creations are pawrific although we too might PASS on the toot version. We have enough of those smells here already.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I'd like to order 6 Puppy Breath, please. No substitutions, however. I don't think we could handle Mango Toot, as our gas masks are stowed in the attic at present... And we can do Wet Dog all on our own, thanks!

Heehee.

-Dr. Liz (and not Fiona the dog, who would probably like Mango Toot...)

Jake of Florida said...

Too funny! Mom has one she specially likes: it's how we smell just after we've been outside running a bit. Kind of like fresh sweat but with a dogginess to it. Does anyone else know what she means?

Forget the Yankee Man candles...we dawgs have it covered.

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

Chester said...

ALL of these flavors are WAY better'n any of the "natural" smellin' flame burners that Mom burns from time to time. She says she useta burn them more often but sumpthin' about labradork tails and open flames not mixin'. Whatevah.

Did I miss where to order these??? I'll take 2 cases of each - one for me and one for each of my friends.

Woofs and manly slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

Chester said...

ALL of these flavors are WAY better'n any of the "natural" smellin' flame burners that Mom burns from time to time. She says she useta burn them more often but sumpthin' about labradork tails and open flames not mixin'. Whatevah.

Did I miss where to order these??? I'll take 2 cases of each - one for me and one for each of my friends.

Woofs and manly slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

K9 Katastrophie said...

BOL!! Too funny!

Licks,
Ruthie

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We finally nagged and nagged and got mama to let us check a few blogs. She's all grumbling about how she needs to rest after the super 'guests are coming' housecleaning she did for a week and then her 4 day trip for the wedding, but we managed to persuade her that we NEED a dose of blog time.

What a great commercial idea, RH! We also like the popcorn/Frito feet idea, which reminds mama of Danes. We don't have popcorn feet. Jed does have a nice 'rangey/gamey' aroma when he's about ready for a bath that you might consider for those with sporting dogs. But we suspect 'puppy breath' is going to be your big money maker.

Really love your new header: PeeWee praticing for the Olympics under the watchful eye of his expert trainer, Mango. We'll be rooting for you, Pee Wee.

Jed & Abby

Mitch and Molly said...

We definitely don't need any sawdust or puppy breath candles here but we'll take Wet Dog and Mango Toot! You're so creative, Mango!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

scotsmad said...

Bruhaahaahaa! Wonder how many fathers are going to be happy with a candle!

We'll have a puppy breath, though.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Two French Bulldogs said...

BOL, that is crazy talk
Benny & Lily

Daisy Dog said...

I will definitely have to get some of those man candles for a friend who just put in his man cave. LOL! Mango you crack me up :)

Lorenza said...

Mango Toot scent??
Wow!
It would be a hit!!!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Howdy Uncle Mango, your candles sound pretty good but we wouldn't need the Mango Toot, we already have plenty of that smell in our house. Mum says what kind of man would want a candle for a present?? Even when its cold mum opens windows just to let out our doggy smells. She's a nutter. We smell just fine. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Moose said...

Brilliant!!! Puppy breath will be a hot item for sure!

Wild Dingo said...

Put me down for 87 Puppy Breath candles and only 1 Mango Toot... to save for those guests who stay too long...

Mango Man! Oh Yeah!

Momma D said...

That puppy breath candle would fly off the shelves!

mayziegal said...

Okay, I'll take 2 Mango Toots and 1 Wet Dog and 4 Puppy Breaths. Need to gets my Christmas shopping started!

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Sue said...

A few years ago our Mom found some puppy breath candles and gave them as gifts.
Morgan and the Porties

Marley said...

Mango, good luck on your latest business venture. You are most creative. I like your scents best. Your readers have some good ideas, too. Eau de water buffalo poo would be nice, and I am fond of Essence of Bull poo.
Lady and I love your blog. We live in India.
Licks,
Marley

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

Mango this is the greatest idea ever.

Now I'm wondering if you couldn't just bottle the Mango Toot into a room spritzer too. If it's anything like ours just one spritz will fill the entire house with the lovely aroma.

Emma

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Mango, I'm in the airport reading and laughing so loud, people are looking at me kinda funny!! Too TOOT!