Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Party at MY Estate - WITHOUT ME!




The Mango is outraged! Read on, my friends, and you will see why.

First thing yesterday morning, I was filled with joy when momma announced that we would be taking the Mastiff Mobile out for a spin. Imagine my horror to discover that stupid PeeWee had already secured a spot in my automobile lounge. 

Can you see his little snooter in the window on the right? And lookit how smushed my Mango-ness is. 

What's HE doing in my ride?



And you know where we went? JAIL! That's right. Momma dumped us in lockdown.

Why, oh, why would she abandon her Baby Bubba?

It was totally like 87 hours later that she finally came back all wanting to take photos of me in jail, but I was having none of it.



GET ME OUTTA HERE!



I gave her what for. You know it!


Drive, woman! Must return to the Mango Estate with haste!



Now when we arrived back at the estate, things were as I left them. 

Except.... there were alarming photos in the flashy. Photos of strange happenings and things most peculiar.

Check out the ladies with umbrellas. Is it raining? NO! And my good pals, Brett and Jake all gawking at them and wearing black outfits that are totally NOT appropriate for boys who do the landscaping and other rough and manly activities.

Hope those boutonniere's didn't come out of Master's garden. 

And what of this? Aren't those ladies mortified that they all chose the same dress? Why is Master laughing? Is he laughing at the Mango? Locked away in a cold cell listening to a bunch of yapping beasts crying for their momma's?

Hey! I think I saw that guy on the right conducting at Tanglewood.


There's Jimmy and Leah parading about. But look! Right behind them is my master with some gal on his arm who is most certainly NOT my momma. 



What the heck? Is it fashion week?


And finally, the most mystifying photo of all. My momma is wearing some peculiar garment. I hardly recognize her. Where are her slobbery jeans and baseball hat?





The world has gone all topsy turvy, I tell you. So please excuse me while I commit my meditations with extreme ferocity to try and unravel these mysteries.


I am never getting in the car again.


Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma's mentals are peculiarly drained (well, I think she is just guilty from her abuse of The Mango) so bear with us whilst we are sluggish and negligent of reading and commenting.

37 comments:

Niamh said...

Mango,

We are shocked and appalled that your momma would do that to you. Locked in a cell while your people dressed up in fancy outfits! The nerve. What we don't get is how they thought they could possibly have fun at a party when you and Dexter weren't there. It must have been very boring without you.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Bouncing Bertie said...

Mango I totally sympathise and am shocked. Especially about seeing Momma in a dress. Do you know, a similar thing happened to me yesterday. We had a warm day in Aberdeen and Gail put on this green sleeveless cotton dress thing that apparently she purchased when working in Oklahoma in 1988. I guess things don't wear out if you only get a chance to wear them once a year. And she things no-one notices how totally old fashioned it is....
Oh, and anyway, are not hats expected at weddings? I thing a baseball cap would have completed MangoMomma's look to perfection.
Toodle pip!
Bertie.

H and Flo said...

Awwwwwww! :)

Sam said...

It looks like everyone (well, except maybe Mango) had a wonderful day!

Sam

DogsMom said...

Mango - your parents clean up nice!

Sam and Pippen said...

How rude your momma is! Why were you in jail when you could have totally done the officiating of the ceremonies? At the very least you could have sung the lucky couple one of your love songs to start them off on the right foot! Dexter could have been the ring bearer! Your momma really needs to start thinking of how to include you in these fun time activities!

Sam and Pippen

Pibble said...

Hilarious: "Aren't those ladies mortified that they all chose the same dress?" You're too much, Mango!

Master and Momma look fabulous! I'm sure you were there in spirit. But, imagine if the bride stepped in a bit of your you-know-what. She could have sunk to her knees. You're on the larger side, you know. So the piles you leave behind are, well, kinda big.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Ahhh, how beautiful - looks like you and Dexter missed out on a grand event. BUT if you carefully search the grounds of the Mango Estate, you just might find lots of tidbits of the foodables left behind.

We are so happy for all that it was such a beautiful day there.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

THIS is a horrid development fur SURE. I certainly HOPE the experience is NOT repeated.
What kind of Pawty was THAT.. Heck they weren't even wearing Play with US clothes. How could the hope to have ANY fun dressed that way... and WITHOUT YOU and PEA??? INSANITY fur sure.
BUTT I will say that your Momma and Mr. Master look FABULOUS in that picture...
I just pray that we will be able to recover from this HORROR.. butt I fear it might take like 87 weeks.

bbes tribe said...

Mango and Dexter, too bad you were banished to jail for the day. Maybe think of it as a day at a spa????? We know they must have missed you at the party/wedding. You could have added another level to the excitement of the day. :-)
Tailwags
Ernie

Shawn said...

Oh Mango, I can only imagine the indignity you felt while looking out of your jail cell. Had you called me, I would have baked you a cake, wiff a file inside, so you could make a grand escape.

Your furiend,
Winston

PeeS: Your peeps sure clean up nice!

Casey said...

I can't believe you were locked away in jail the whole day while they had fun!! What horrible, vicious mistreatment. You need to report them to the SPCA!

Gus said...

Clearly this is the weekend we will all want to forget. You guys locked in jail, parties at the estate without the Mango Man in attedance and other assorted miseries.

We think you guys deserve at least a frosty paw or two to make up for the missed pawty. Don't let them take the tents down, we are on our way to help!

gussie

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Mango,
I'm sure the party was terribly boring with out you and Pea to make it fun. Mango, I will be having one of those parties soon. Y'all will be invited to my party. I'll be the welsh woman in the white dress.
Sally Ann

Two French Bulldogs said...

You could have been the life of the pawrty!
Benny & Lily

Mitch and Molly said...

I remember when this happened at my house, Mango! Angel Maggie and I were locked inside and everybody outside was dancing and eating and having a pawty without us. This is so NOT fair!

Love ya lots,
Mitch

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh the shock of it all! Banned from your own estate! Not right at all.

Now....find her shoes and pee in one of dem. Den leave a Mango present in da udder one. Tink her will get da message?

Ruby said...

BOL! I HAD to laugh at Amber's suggestion!! hehee You just might want to think about it! Wow, poor Mango and Dexter. I can't believe the puppy abuse you must suffer at the hands of your fancy Master and Mistress. I mean, pawty without you??? Unthinkable. Wells, I wouldn't get in that car again for nothin'!!

Kisses,

Ruby

The Army of Four said...

I was really hoping the tents were for you and PeeWee to go camping. Rats.
This whole thing is just wrong, wrong, wrong!
Play bows,
Zim

The Life of Riley said...

You are American dogs, which means you can sue! You are bound to have flash backs about this - especially as the flashy beast was involoved. Sue Mango Momma and demand compensation for you and The Pea, although I'm not sure which would have been more confusing - being locked up unfailry or seeing so many people invade your estate and the Mango Momma looking good wearing proper clothes!

Woofs,
Riley

Sue said...

We think you should report them for animal cruelty. Imagine having a party while The Mango is in jail. It'll probably make the national news tonight.
Morgan, Sebastian and the Porties

scotsmad said...

Abuse??!! That was WAY beyond mere abuse, mate. You make sure they pay you with MAJOR noms.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Did you bring 'the pea' home?

Moose said...

I can't believe you and pea ended up in the pokey! What crime had you committed I ask? It sounds like they did not even state the charges which I think is a violation of your civil rights! I bet all those oddly dressed people left all sorts of strange smells too. Sheesh!
I hope you made wookie noises the whole time you were in the slammer. That's what I do at the vet when I get all locked up.
Glad you are home!

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Howdy Uncle Mango, well we were thinking and maybe if you had stayed at the party it might have meant you had to wear a bow tie and have your jowls stitched up so you wouldn't slobber. Not much fun at all.

Sorry you went to the jail and had to listen to all those sooky la la, cry babies. Your mum and dad scrubbed up well but why are they smiling so much when you aren't there??? Our mum loves a wedding and was sighing and cooing at all the photos. Gosh she's a sook. HOpe you get about 87 treats to make up for this outrage. See ya big dude. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Reuben said...

Dude, you got crammed into the car, locked up, and they had the party without you? I think it is time to call your lawyer, that has awfuls!

Love,
Reuben

Au and Target said...

A part6y without you and Dex? Huh? how? Did you get any cake? Were you allowed to slobber over the fancy outfits? Frankly, we're shocked. You deserve compensation.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Mango, DUDE...

Scruffman here....I think that thing your momma was in is called a D R E S S...we don't see 'em 'round here very often and when we do there are usually those things called HEELS and usually a bad mood and whining. We think your momma looked like really pretty and Master looked quite dashing.

I dunno why Lacie is sulking but methinks you are in a spot of trouble with the Beastie.

Somethin' 'bout bein' stood up at the alter???

Dunno....as long as she reads Stanny and me our bedtime story, we don't pry.

Pawslaps,

Scruffman

IRIS E DONA said...

Oh Mango, I'm shocked !! I just arrived from my vacations and I had this terrible news !! Poor, poor Mango !!!!!

Kisses
Iris

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

All those people wearing the same dress probably even had foodables that they were unable to share with you due to your being in jail. I can't believe your Mom would allow something like this to happen and NOT allow you to be a part of this. Although I have it on good authority that gatherings like this are called 'weldings' (or something like that). I have it on equally good authority (TaiChi, from whom all Words of Wisdom flowed) that when Mom and Dad got welded, TaiChi and Billy and Ben were all in attendance. So I think you were gypped. The DOH better do all sorts of Mango-related things to make up for this injustice!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

The Heartbeats said...

Mango- I hate to tell you this but they prolly also had a delicious cake as well. Despite my warnings- which were correct, my mamma also wore a white dress once & they brought me some cake soon after.

Wiggles,
Calhoun

Mimi and CC Cabana said...

Looks like it was a beautiful wedding. Mango and Dexter sure missed out on a lot of fun--but dog schmarmy and wedding attire definitely don't mix well.

Roo said...

Good grief! I'm exhausted just hearing about all the goings on at your Estate Mango! Maybe book a vacation to the Land of Mango and rest up and be pampered for a bit eh? ;)

Can't believe your Momma sent you to jail? Actually I'm surprised they had a cell massive enough for ya ;) Hardy Har Har Har. Oh gosh sorry pal couldn't help myself :P

Good thing you pointed out that the photo with the lady in the pretty dress was your Momma. No way would I have recognized her without her Mango clothes and slobber on ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

PeeS: Thank you for suggesting Updates for the POTP site. The site has been changed to enable update link-ins as well. :)

Marjie said...

Aw, poor Mango, being sent to jail whilst the humans evidently have some sort of party! But as a girl, I have to say that your Momma looks very pretty in that peculiar attire. It may not be Mango-friendly, but it looks right for the party.

Kitty+Coco said...

Mango you are so hilarious. One of our favorite posts to date. I do think your Mom should have worn one of her special hats for the occasion. You know, so people would recognize her and all. The ol' gal was really vamping it up! Too bad you had to go to jail for the day. I'm sure they would have enjoyed some Mango piles to dodge just for kicks.

chicamom85 said...

Mango, I am so sorry that you had to be locked up and humiliated that way. Dexter is used to day care, so he was probably ok. It did look like a beautiful wedding and your Momma and Master looked spectacular. I think the only thing that would have made it better was The Mango in a tuxedo carrying the ring. It seems only right. I agree, stay away from the car.

Loveys Sasha

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

I can't take the sadness of this event. The poor Mango locked away in a dungeon while there is a party going on at his estate. I'm most certain there must have been a very important job you could have done....taste tester. Someone should have sampled the foodables before they were served.

Emma

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Mabel Lou and I think the Mango Momma looks gorgeous in her dressy garments and with her hair all did!
Sorry Mango didn't get to be the best man!!!